Try to grow my wings but he holds me down
Single file to bliss, how could I ever resist?
But when I turn to you I find heaven on the ground
~ The Relentless, Me Against The Devil
Erik's Pov
"Where did you run off to? You missed the interview." The annoying emo girl beside me complains as I walk back onto the bus parked outside the bar for our Boston show tonight .
"I was with this really crazy redhead," I smirk and fist bump Lucas as I walk by him and to the bunks.
"That interview was important, do you not want to go on The Vans Warped Tour?" Scarlett yanks on my arm as I attempt to get back into my bunk.
"Let go, Scarlett." I throw a tired look at her. I know she is mad at me for missing this interview.
"Did you finish writing the new song?" Her voice is pleading for me to have actually done something besides fucking up our chances of going anywhere.
"No," I say coldly and I watch the anger fill her face, I watch as she storms away from me and off of the bus.
"You need to stop fucking up," Kyle says from his bunk, I shoot him a dirty look as I get into my bunk.
"That's the only thing I can do." I close the curtains to my bunk, plunging me into darkness. Plunging me into my own personal hell.
I try to block out the creeping feeling of being alone, a feeling I've known for so long.
I close my eyes shut and try to picture the girl from last night at the club, the blonde locks that bounced whenever she moved. The way a smile broke onto her face when the DJ played one of my songs.
But that image is soon shattered by the man she was with, the way he held her and the disappointment that was shown through her big green eyes and pouty lips.
She was gorgeous and every man's dream, but mine. She was the girl who grew up with everything and never had to face the real world with daddy's money buying her a rainbow world.
"Hey man, I heard what happened between you and Scarlett, are you okay?" Devon opens the curtain, but the feeling of being alone doesn't seem to go away. It never seems to go away.
I'm always alone.
I blame my mother abandoning me for the bottom of a bottle and my father for wanting to be the hero of his country. I blame my grandmother for not wanting me as I was a painful reminder of what her daughter had become, that I was just another mistake of a one night stand gone horribly wrong.
My aunt, Scarlett's mother, agreed to let me live with her, but that also meant leaving home in London for America.
"I'm fine, she'll get over it and be bitching about the next thing soon enough." I mutter as I try to close the curtain, but Devon won't loosen his hold on the material, "c'mon I'm tired and we play a show in a few hours."
I turn my back towards Devon and I can hear him sigh.
I'm left with my own thoughts once again, thoughts that scare me.
I roll back onto my back and stare at the picture I know oh so well even without the light.
A photo of my mother and I in a random park near the apartment we lived in when I was still in London, that photo was taken a week before she left me alone in that apartment for a week and my neighbours ended up calling the police.
The last time I saw my mother was when she came to the police station in cuffs after the neighbours had called the police when they realized she was gone again, that was a couple of years after the photo was taken.
I remember so vividly the moment she was dragged in with her arms behind her back, her black hair a mess, her makeup smeared and her clothes ripped. Her breath reeked of alcohol and her nose still had the white powder I knew all too well at such a young age.
I remember her apologizing over and over again as she saw me, her words were too slurred to makes sense but the tears streaming down her face were obvious.
That was the same night my aunt flew out of Chicago to London to bring me back. The brunette lady with the funny accent that smelled of sanitizer. The woman who had a tired look on her face, but instantly hugged me when she saw me and reassured me.
The same woman who took me when I turned sixteen to get my first tattoo, her name on the inside of my bicep. Rosannie.
I pull my phone from my pocket and squint at the harsh light, but I find her contact and wait for her to pick up.
"Tobias, what's wrong?" Her familiar voice causes a sigh of contentment to escape my lips, the sound of my old nickname bringing peace to the racing thoughts.
"Nothing Auntie, just need someone to talk to." I can hear the sound of machines in the back and call bells going off, "how is work?"
"Same as always Tobias, now tell me why you are calling when we just talked last night." I can hear the worry in her tone, something I'm all too familiar with.
"Scar and I got in another fight, I can't sleep, I feel alone in a crowded room, I can't help but feel alone."
"What are you and Samantha fighting about now?" I wish I was in the small apartment in Chicago, in the tiny bedroom I shared with Scarlett. The same room that saw so many tears, so much pain, where I learned that I wasn't truly alone, the room Scar admitted that her druggie boyfriend had her hooked, and the same room we both found comfort in.
That room held so many secrets, so much pain, so many stories.
"I didn't show up to an interview because I was with some random girl," I mutter out not wanting to hear the talk about using protection or STDs.
"Erik," I cringe at the sound of her using my first name, "you've worked too hard for all of this to throw it away. I know you struggle with everything and that's okay, but you can't throw it away on the account of trying to find comfort in a random girl."
I groan at my Auntie, knowing all too well she is right, "I'll go apologize to Scar."
"Good. Now, when will I be hearing a new single? One of our long-term residents loves your band and supposedly his niece works for a major marketing company in Boston who is also a huge fan. I told Olivia about it the other day when she emailed me about you."
"Why did she email you?" I completely ignore her about the new song, as I've only got the title and the chorus of the song done. The rest of the song is in shambles.
"Just letting me know how everything is and updating me on how the stress of the tour is affecting your sleep, but by the sound of your voice I didn't need to email her."
"Geez, thanks, Auntie. I'm having trouble sleeping, I just can't seem to fall asleep." I rub my eyes, I am tired, but it's like my mind can't find a way to sleep.
"Are you taking your medications to help sleep?"
"No, because I don't want to build a tolerance. Auntie, I should really go soon."
"I know Tobias, I'm sorry your mother did this to you. What's the name of your new song?" I miss my Aunt, the sweet, kind woman who worked 12-hour shifts but still found time to take care of Scar and me.
"Me Against the Devil."
—
I hold the mic away from me as we finish our set and the concert. The same girl from the club is in the front row tonight, dressed in the hottest leather skirt and a shirt with my name on it.
I can't keep my eyes off her or the weird company she keeps with her, the way she is so free, but anytime the guy in the suit will try to talk to her she gets an annoyed look on her face.
There is something different about her, maybe it was she didn't seem to be the girl she was pretending to be.
"I saw you had your eyes on a certain girl." Kyle nudges my shoulder backstage as we strip off our mics, "she was definitely hot."
"If I were a guy, I would go for her." Scar comments as she stands by Kyle. Her face looks sad as she listens to Kyle talk about all the hot girls he saw.
My poor cousin in love with a guy who only sees her as a sister.
"We have fans!" Olivia yells as a group of girls that are all too familiar stride into the room, groupies.
It's not long before we are surrounded by the same girls with the same intentions. I want to scream.
I thought by now I would be touring Europe and be famous like The Scorpions or The Rolling Stones, heck I thought we would be touring with Black Veil Brides, but here we are in a rundown bar.
"Look." Kyle elbows me in the side and nods towards the people who just walked in, it's the mystery girl from last night.
I shoo the groupies away once she comes over with Marshall, an old friend of Kyle's.
Also, the guy who is setting us up in his family's hotel tonight since he found out we are in town even though the bus is parked out back and we are fine with sleeping in it.
I watch her, so shy, none of the confidence I saw last night.
She's quick to get fiery when the other guy approaches her and tells her it's time to leave.
There's a certain edge to her that isn't smooth like she wants you to think, a fire that burns in her that seems to have been dimmed for too long.
When her forest green eyes lock onto mine, I can't look away and I'm stuck in place with a lyric forming in those eyes of hers,
When I turn to you I find heaven on the ground.
Edited by GirlReader133