With every step Lance took, his heart beat his ribs harder. Hospitals were a developing symbol of irony for him. They gave him Keith. But one day, very soon, they could take him away.
Keith held his hand tighter and flashed a smile under his mask. Lance almost couldn't take how much his eyes twinkled. They housed so much hope and excitement. Why did he believe in miracles and happy endings? Whenever Lance got his hopes up, things would always go horribly wrong. If this was the one thing that could cure Keith, then why was it the thing that could kill him?
Lance and Keith were brought back to a hospital room. It had a special air filter to keep germs away from him. Lance was even required to wear a mask after Keith received the immunosuppressants. This would be the place Keith would stay for the duration of his transplant process. Before the transplant, Keith had to receive high doses of chemo and radiation over the course of a week. This was to make room for the transplant, suppress his immune system, and destroy any remaining cancer left in his body. The first thing the doctors had to do was give him a port in his chest. It was so they had an easier way to give meds and draw blood. Keith was admitted instead of being treated as an outpatient. This was because he had such low chances of survival. If anything went wrong, it would kill him almost instantly.
"Now once we start this process," Dr. Sallow stood next to Keith's bed as the nurse paused to let him speak. He talked in an indifferent voice, but it was obvious that he was holding back excitement. "Once we start, we can't stop. The process must be completed." He locked eyes with both of them, "This is your last chance to back out. After the first treatment is given, there's no going back. Are you both still sure you want to go through with it?"
Lance almost said no. He wanted to yank Keith out of that bed and carry him home. He wanted to sleep together one more time; cuddle and watch movies again; and most of all, he wanted wake up next to him one last time. It was in that moment that the reality of it all hit him. Is this really alright?
But once Keith looked back to smile down at him, his heart melted. This was the one thing Keith wanted. After the first treatment there was no going back? Bullshit. The second Keith heard about the transplant was the moment they couldn't turn back. There was no stopping now.
Lance forced a smile back and nodded. Keith let out an excited giggle and turned back to the doctor. "Let's do this!"
"Okay," the nurse gave a bright smile and handed him a little cup of pills.
Keith dropped all of them in his mouth at once, which was surprising to Lance. He thought that it would cause him to choke, but he swallowed them just fine. After that, Dr. Sallow left to let the nurse take over. Her name was Mary.
Nurse Mary set up the IVs and prepared Keith for the infusion. Everything was hooked up to Keith's port-which was put in the day prior. Once it was all set up, she let them be and returned to her other tasks. The treatment would take an hour to complete, then they would flush it all with saline. The whole process would take around five hours every day over the whole week.
Keith insisted Lance should go home and sleep many times. He complied after the first treatment was done, but couldn't fall asleep after his shower. In the end, he packed a bag and returned to the hospital to spend the night with Keith.
The chemotherapy and radiation made Keith very sick. He was always tired or nauseous and complaining of a terrible headache. It was worse than he was at home. Much worse. Lance was completely ruined by the whole process. No matter what he did, he couldn't alleviate any of the pain Keith was in. They couldn't even stop the process, so it was something they had to fight through.
Most nights Lance would stay awake and watch Keith's chest rise and fall with his gentle breaths. He would kiss the back of his hand and stroke his cheek in an attempt to calm him. Once the sun rose and Keith's eyes fluttered open, Lance would pass out leaning on the bed. As exhausted and stressed out as he was, Lance didn't mind. It was the only thing he could do. He wanted to watch Keith as much as he could in case he never returned home. Sleep wasn't important anymore. Nothing was. Just Keith.
Keith sat cross-legged on the bed with a pillow in his lap and Lance's supportive hand on his thigh. Nurse Mary entered the room and flashed them a wide grin. "Are you ready?"
Keith couldn't contain his excitement. He nodded and squealed, "Of course I am!"
She nodded and snickered at his behavior, "Alright. Let's get you set up for the transplant." Another nurse came in with a cooler-like box with a lot of stickers and writing on it. They took a lot of notes and read off a lot of numbers.
Keith turned to look at Lance as the two nurses continued their work. "Hey Lance?"
Lance gave him a hum of question, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows.
A smile tugged the corners of Keith's mouth, "I wanna do something once we get out of here."
"Like what?"
"Like," he trailed off and looked up at the ceiling. "I wanna learn to dance with you."
Lance's chest warmed up. His eyes softened as he brought his lips to the back of Keith's hand. He nuzzled his cheek into the knuckles of his fingers. "I would love to dance with you."