Katie
"I could've found a cure," I rasp wearily. "I could've ended this if I'd been given more time. I wanted to. I tried to, but..."
"Don't beat yourself up." Oliver rubs my back and smiles. I know he's trying to reassure me but it doesn't help. I'm too messed up over all of it. "You tried your best. It isn't exactly your fault the world is this way now."
I lean into him, trying to gain some comfort. I could almost do it too, if it wasn't for the next voice which pipes up.
"Yeah, plus if someone could fix this then they would." I roll my eyes at Ryan. "Plenty of people are more skilled, have been in the medical world for much longer than you, and have better equipment too. To be honest, you didn't really stand a chance."
It's hard with him around, especially since he's bitter now. It's difficult for me to accept that after years of me liking him from afar and watching him with other girls, now in the middle of the damn apocalypse, when I've finally found someone I love, he tells me that he wants me.
I guess it's difficult for him too. He doesn't seem to understand I'm not on his hook anymore. I'm never going to want him like I once did. That version of me, the one who was too scared to tell him about my feelings, who hid away from the world, is long gone.
I'm stronger now, tougher, I've adapted to the world, and sometimes, that world would be better without him. I don't want him to die or anything, I just wish he would move with other people. For his sake as well as mine.
"I don't think there is an answer," he continues. "This is the way the world is now."
While we're wandering the streets, in between permanent settlements, which never seen to stay very permanent, that's a really bleak statement. It's challenging enough when we have a roof over our heads and walls separating us from them, but again our last one fell apart. It got overrun.
They all get overrun.
Well, not all of them. That's not always what drives us out, sometimes it's the terrible way that the people in charge run the camps that sends us running. There has to be a leader to prevent chaos erupting, but as we've seen many a time power affects people in different ways.
Not always good ways.
"Well, thanks for that, Ryan." I push myself into a standing position. "That's just the moral boost we all needed today..."
"Oh, so now you're going to be bitchy to me just because I'm realistic?"
"I'm not starting an argument with you." I hold my hands up to silence him. "We all need to find somewhere to stay. Just for tonight if we can't find something more permanent so can we just all be...I don't know, positive?"
He snorts and rolls his eyes, but my glare soon has him nodding.
Screw Ryan, he's the least of my issues here. I just need to get everyone somewhere safe. This is my responsibility.