To say the train ride was awkward because of Alex and I was an understatement.
It was relatively silent on the table, with Nate and Hunter talking, kind of arguing, in the background, as well as the general ambient noises from the other passengers.
Caleb was entranced in a book on his phone, and I just stared out the window, feeling nostalgic from the view.
Aaron practically emitted anxiety like radiation. He was completely tense, sitting like he was just waiting for something to go wrong. He kept on asking me strange pointless questions, as if he was trying to distract me from something, but I knew he was just trying to distract himself from how hopelessly socially inept he was. He was a wreck, and really needed to live in the middle of the countryside or something to get away from society because what the fuck honestly.
Alex just tapped his foot constantly, obviously his phone wasn't sufficient enough to entertain him. It was probably anxiety that made him unusually bad though, because I kept on shooting him down every time he tried to communicate. It got a bit ridiculous I could admit that, and eventually Aaron quietly suggested that I should stop being such a bitch. Well, he phrased it a whole lot more politely than that, but I got the message.
I was so annoyed at Alex though, I felt like he was being unfair, and my little crush on him didn't help the feeling of betrayal. Damned brat.
Stop being a little bitch, me, goddamn.
I need to get off of this damn train!
"You're both going to give me an anxiety attack." Aaron commented suddenly, and I realised we were both tapping our feet and fidgeting awkwardly.
"I'm sorry." I apologised to Aaron seriously, and Alex looked up from his phone. I didn't do anything as he gave me eye contact, and simply raised a brow when a few moments had past.
"Are we nearly there yet?" Caleb asked quietly without looking up from his phone.
Aaron bit his lip. "Uhh..." He looked at me unsurely and I rolled my eyes.
"They said something about coming up to Temple meads or something didn't they, that's in Bristol." I explained and they gave me blank expressions.
"Yes we're about half an hour away I'd say." I chuckled to myself and Alex made a face.
"I was hoping we'd be closer." He complained, and I felt a rush of irritation from hearing his voice.
Aaron gave me a look when I frowned and opened my mouth to give an angry comment. I sighed and sat back in my seat, remaining quiet.
I think I just need a break.
Being a moody twat is the worst way I could behave after all they've done for me.
I sighed and stared out if the window gloomily.
Aaron gave me a smile when I glanced at him, and I smiled back. I certainly don't want Aaron to think I am any more of a whiny brat then he already does.
Alex sighed and I looked to see him staring at the table surface sadly.
Okay, enough of this, I hate holding grudges.
I decided against saying anything, but relaxed and sat up properly, smiling to myself as I sent a few texts to Erin.
-
It was a bit hectic when we got to the station, everyone seemed to be a little panicked when people were moving too slowly infront of them. It was like they thought the train would leave if they weren't quick enough or something. I just watched in amusement, glad I only had a small backpack to carry.
"Thank fu-goodness that's over." Aaron huffed and nearly swore, god forbid, as he set his and Hunter's bag down.
"Now it's your turn to hold my stuff, I'm going to get the rental car." He roughly shoved the straps of the bags into Hunter's hands before walking off in the direction of a branded car park.
"How does he know where he's going?" I wondered outloud, and Nate shrugged.
"I don't know, they always plan things without telling us."
We watched from a distance as he talked to someone, and Alex groaned when he went towards a large blue range rover.
"Of fucking course."
"What?" I chuckled at their annoyed expressions.
"He's obsessed with range rovers."
"At least it's not a classic land rover or whatever like last time." Hunter smirked and I just smiled to myself.
I don't particularly care for cars, but if any were to be my favourite, it'd be range rovers, so I'm not complaining.
"Alex you're going in the back." Was the first thing Aaron said as he stepped out of the car and Alex made a face.
"Great, not only is it a damn range rover, I have to sit in the back as well." He complained and Aaron looked like he just insulted his mother.
"Get in the car, brat."
I chuckled as Alex gave him a sharp stare before climbing over the seats into the back of the car, and Caleb followed and sat next to him. "I'd rather sit in the back than be squished in the middle seat." He explained when Aaron gave him a confused look.
"SHOTGUN FRONT!" Hunter exclaimed loudly.
"Aren't you a little old for that." Aaron complained seeming a bit put off and Hunter just shrugged before climbing into the car.
"You alright in the middle?" He asked me.
"I couldn't give a flying fuck where I sat." I commented.
"You're the one that's going to have to deal with Nate." He smiled before walking round to the driver's seat.
Nate gave him a look before stepping into the car and sliding to the other side. I sighed, looking behind me at the busy station before climbing in as well.
"Where the fuck are we going now?" Alex's voice sounded from behind.
"You'll see."
-
"This is definitely Cornwall." I commented mostly to myself as we had finally reached the car park. The roads were getting narrower between the small country buildings, and I could hear seagulls in the sky as we stepped out and collected our stuff.
"Doesn't seem like there would be good places to stay here..." Nate wondered as we began walking and I smirked.
"You won't be finding 5 star penthouses around here if that's what you're thinking." I retorted, becoming increasingly curious myself as to where we were going.
"We better not be staying in a cottage." Hunter huffed and Aaron smiled in amusement.
"I think it'll do you good." He said and Alex groaned.
"No way!!!"
"It's a bit bigger than a cottage." He smiled, then bit his lip.
"But?" I questioned and he chuckled.
"There are only three bedrooms."
"Horrific." I said sarcastically, but the others seemed to be more effected.
"Great! And how far away from the car park is it??" Nate complained as we continued to walk through the crowded seaside village.
Aaron just smiled and stayed silent, following his phone's instructions.
The rows of houses were too close together for cars to get through here, and everyone was on foot. It was surprisingly busy for a fishing village, and I'm guessing tourism was a large part of its income.
There were lots of streams running in-between the buildings, with a few waterwheels on the sides.
We starting ascending a hilly road and I bit my lip.
"It's damn hilly around here, why'd they settle here in the first place..." Nate commented and I rolled my eyes.
"England is a hilly place."
"But these are practically cliffsides!"
Aaron suddenly stopped in front of a slightly isolated building. It wasn't too big, but had a pool outside it. And to be honest, it was a lot closer to the village than I was expecting.
Caleb was smiling up at it, but the others were busy giving Aaron disbelieving looks.
"You better get used to living in small spaces, you won't be able to afford a house like ours when you leave home." Aaron scolded them, and I hope I wasn't included in that.
"Fine." Hunter sighed, before snatching the keys from Aaron's hands and entering.
I waited outside for a little bit before following them in.
"This looks like a renovated barn." Nate commented as he looked up at the wooden beams on the ceiling.
"It's a Cornish cottage, they all look like this." I smiled and he huffed."Try appreciate the culture." I suggested and he gave me a look.
"Says the one who's culture it is." He said and I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not Cornish in the slightest."
"You're English?"
"So? You're not part of Texas culture because you're American are you?"
"I guess..."
I looked around the building with a smile. It started with a small dining area, with stone tiles and white walls. There was an archway on one side that led to a small kitchen, and the other led to a quaint little living room with a fireplace. Up the stairs seemed to be a bathroom and the master bedroom, which already had Aaron rooting around in it. The only other door was up above, with a ladder leading up to it.
"That looks a bit awkward..." I commented and Nate immediately started climbing it.
"Bagsie!"
I looked around curiously for the third bedroom, and realised it was on the other side of the entrance way, separated from the rest. Of course Caleb was choosing to stand in it awkwardly as a timid method of claiming it.
"How are we supposed to decide who goes where?" Hunter said as he looked into the room Caleb was standing in with his arms crossed.
"I don't mind where I go." I admitted and he gave me a concerned look.
"It'd be easier if you did." He said and I raised a brow.
"Right, that problem." Aaron said as he made his way down the stairs again.
I sighed as I dumped my bag on the floor near the entrance way, then crossed my arms as I stood in the middle of the room.
"Um...No one insistent?" Aaron questioned and everyone seemed a bit awkward. I didn't want to specifically request a room, so I kept my mouth shut.
"Fine, we'll go with whoever you sat next to in the car." He said in irritation and Hunter gave him a look.
"What?" Aaron glared back and Hunter shrugged before looking at Nate.
Nate just smiled at him with his arms crossed over his chest.
"If anyone's got a problem with that they should speak up." Aaron added, and his eyes landed on me.
I decided to refrain from saying I didn't mind seeing as that wasn't recieved well. "I don't see any better way to do it."
"Then it's final." He sighed before heading into the kitchen.
"You guys really need this break." Caleb smirked, then widened his eyes and turned away when Nate gave him a look.
I groaned when I realised what room that meant I was staying in.
"Scared of heights?" Nate teased as he began climbing up the ladder again.
I looked at it lazily before sighing and making my way up there.
The room was small but obviously meant for two people, as there was a single bed each side of the door.
Nate was busy plugging his phone up to his charger and seemed to pretend not to notice me.
I really hope this isn't going to be awkward...
It was kind of dark in here, as the only window was really low near the floor. I walked a few steps closer to it, seeing the pool's surface shining in the light below.
"Cosy..."
"Yeah like a cupboard." Nate complained and I rolled my eyes at him.
"I shared a room like this with three people once, for half a year. I think you'll survive." I commented and he froze.
"Er, sorry, I didn't mean- like...it's great." He mumbled and I shook my head at him with a smile.
"You'll get used to it. Or it'll drive you insane, we'll find out." I teased before making my way back out again.
The others seemed busy in their rooms, with Aaron in the kitchen.
I clicked my tongue before curiously wondering into the living room.
It was small and cosy, with two smallish sofas and a chair squeezed in. On one side was a window over looking the path, and the other was a sliding door leading outside.
I opened it carefully before stepping out. The back garden was practically non existent, as it immediately dropped off into a shallow stream.
I smiled at the ducks paddling a bit further down before sitting at the edge of it.
It was quiet for a while, until I heard footsteps behind me. I smiled politely at Hunter as he sat down next to me.
Is this awkward silence? I think it is.
Um.
"We don't talk much nowadays do we." He commented with a smirk and I just gave him a small smile.
"In fact, the only times we talk is sitting outside a door..." He said. "Hopefully Aaron won't start shouting at you this time though." He snorted, making me glance back into the empty living room.
"I don't think so." I smiled and he frowned a bit.
"You seem closer to Aaron now, guessing you forgave him for fighting with you." He mumbled quietly and I bit my lip.
"We both forgave each other, I was being a little bitch too." I commented and he made a face. "Okay, it was mostly his fault." I smirked.
"I haven't really spoken to Aaron in a while, he's gotten kind of distant." Hunter sighed, and I recalled how they were practically inseparable back in Washington. He looked up at me, like he was expecting me to say something.
"He's been looking after me, I'm sorry." I admitted.
"Did he know about...what happened?"
"Yeah..."
He snickered. "It's hard to keep a secret from Aaron, he has a way of making you want to tell him. I understand why he's been with you."
I felt guilt rip at my chest. "I'll try to act a little more independent from now on." I said, and his eyes widened.
"That's not what I meant! I mean, it's fine. It's not like you're making him do it, he's doing it because he wants to...he likes you a lot." He said that last part quietly while looking up at me, immediately making me blush.
"U-uh..." I exclaimed tensely and he began chuckling.
"I'm sorry, that's bad of me. I didn't mean to make it awkward. I'm just..." He sighed aggressively. "Jealous."
I looked at him questioningly.
"...Of both of you, it's annoying. He wasn't just my brother, but my best friend, well I mean he used to always be around Luca.." He rambled. "...and he seemed to move on...I don't suppose you think he's moved on from me now? Maybe we'll never be close again..."
Meanwhile I was freaking out with a disturbed and guilty expression on my face.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, no I don't mean as in that is your fault, I mean it's not a bad thing, don't feel bad about it, I mean it's my fault too, it's normal, uh, wow I'm just making you feel worse aren't I." He scratched the back of his neck with a slight blush and I frowned at the stream water.
"It's fine, you're going through something and he's there for you, better than me, I'm barely able to make myself talk to you. Oh FUCK I didn't mean it like that, damnit, sorry. It's just awkward, I'm awkward, I didn't want to make you feel worse by talking to you, and now I have done exactly that, damnit I just don't know what to say in these kinds of situations. I'm a sheltered child, I've never met rape victims before, OH FUCK, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BRING THAT UP I MEAN.-" I watched his decent into panicked awkwardness with a frown.
"-GOD I'M SORRY. YOU'RE NOT A RAPE VICTIM- SHIT NO YOU ARE, I MEAN THAT'S NOT A BAD THING. I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING, YES IT IS. AS IN BEING RAPED IS BAD, NOT YOU'RE BAD, I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP GOING. I'M GOING TO LEAVE." He stood up suddenly, which inturn unbalanced him, and my eyes widened as he slipped into the stream.
I sat and blinked at him in silence for a moment as he sat up in the water, before sniggering.
I began chuckling in amusement, and then full blown laughing as his flushed wet face looked at me in confusion.
"I appreciate the sentiment, really, I do." I shook my head with a smile as I calmed down.
"What in the hell are you doing?" Aaron's voice sounded from behind me, and I looked up to see him giving Hunter a confused glare.
"Uh..." He stood up in the stream, water rushing and dripping down from his clothes.
"If you've broken your phone we're not buying you a new one until we get back home." He crossed his arms, and Hunter relaxed as he realised Aaron didn't seem to have heard our conversation.
"And you seriously need to educate yourself on how to treat people." He added on and I bit my lip awkwardly as Hunter looked down at the ground.
Ah, of course he heard, this is a small house, the others probably heard his shouting too, hopefully they weren't paying attention.
Aaron looked down at me with a concerned frown, and I smiled at him reassuringly.
"...Did you...push him?" He wondered and I chuckled.
"No, he did that to himself." I replied in an amused tone as Hunter soggily stepped back onto the bank.
"Why don't you come inside?" Aaron suggested with a gentler voice, watching Hunter as he stood uncomfortably. "And change your clothes." He added as he walked after him, and I sighed before staring at the stream again.
"Riley." Hunter's voice made me look back over to them. He gave Aaron an awkward glance before continuing. "I'm sorry, and I didn't mean I was finding it hard to talk to you because of... recent events, I meant I've been finding it really awkward since what happened back in Washington..." He said honestly, and I frowned before realising he was talking about the time he kissed me.
I smiled. "You're forgiven, I understand." I smirked with a teasing wink at the end, and he gave Aaron an embarrassed glance before quickly escaping inside.
Well, that was amusing.
I looked up at Aaron as he remained standing there, and he was staring at me intently.
"What's wrong?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Nothing." He said, then hesitated. "I mean, I'm guessing you two, um..." He was obviously trying to keep to his promise to be honest with me, but it made me blush and roll my eyes.
"Ages ago, one time. He seems to have decided it's best nothing else comes of it though." I said and he nodded before leaving.
Not gonna tell me why you were so interested then, fine.
I turned back around completely and looked down the stream at the ducks.
...
-
After a while of sitting in peace I decided I was bored and stood up. I looked around down the side of the house, at the small patch of grass in-between the walls and the stream. It led to the start of tiles and then the curved pool.
I wonder how many times a year an outdoor pool gets used in England? Surely it's usually too cold.
I looked down at my hands with a sigh, this place was nice, but when I ran out of things to think about, I still noticed how my hands were shaking slightly, and I felt anxious.
I walked back through the sliding door that was wedged open, probably due to the niceish whether, and noticed Aaron sitting on the sofa infront of the small coffee table. He had his hair up in a messy and rushed bun, that left a few strands falling on his face, and was frowning down at some sheets of work.
I had almost walked past him, but then stopped and approached him, sitting on the sofa arm quietly.
He seemed startled when he realised it was me and dropped his pen.
"Hey Sunshine." He greeted me with his nickname making me smile.
"Why do you call me that?" I asked in amusement and he blushed.
"I'll tell you later." He brushed me off and I raised a brow.
I was expecting an 'I don't know I just do', so that's intriguing.
I sat down onto the sofa completely and he sat up more, moving away from his coursework.
I feel bad for distracting him now...
"I can leave if you need to concentrate." I suggested and he shook his head.
"It's fine, I have plenty of time to do it." He smiled at me warmly and I blushed slightly under his gaze before looking down at it.
"What is it?"
"Environmental science revision. I guess."
"Is it hard?"
"Kind of, I don't get along with it as much as I used to."
"Why's that?"
"The topics....make me angry, to be honest, I don't agree with the point of view some of the writers have..." He looked at the ground awkwardly.
"I'm guessing it involves animals and veganism." I commented and he nodded.
"A bit, they're just a bit insensitive. Saying how confining livestock in smaller spaces and keeping them indoors could be better for the environment and more efficient, it's upsetting." He grumbled, not giving me eye contact. "Most of my classmates don't seem to care that much though, telling me I'm being oversensitive and arguing, makes me feel stupid."
"I get it, you're not being stupid." I reassured and he looked up at me.
"You agree?" He seemed unsure making me roll my eyes.
"You're talking to someone who was half raised by a man that valued his rescue cow over his own son, I think I value animal rights over efficiency of companies." I chuckled and he frowned slightly, before smiling at me.
"So you'd call yourself vegan then, not just plant based?" He questioned and I smiled at him.
I was kind of ignorant of the difference between the two, but he seemed to find it important to him.
"Yes, I would." I said clearly and he suddenly blushed and gave me a toothy grin.
"You keep on getting even more perfect." He commented absentmindedly and I immediately blushed crimson.
Uh???????
My god!!!
You can't just say that!!!
Fuck, my cheeks burn!
I looked away from him awkwardly to hide my bashful expression.
"Sorry." He eventually realised what he had said and seemed embarrassed.
I chuckled as I looked back towards him. "You really know how to accidentally flatter someone." I commented and he seemed a bit awkward.
"Wouldn't know why, I've only ever wanted to flatter one person." He mumbled as he casually wrote something down on his work.
Stop that?!????
I gave out an exasperated huff and covered my cheek that was facing him with my hand because it felt seriously hot.
"Is Hunter okay?" I asked, which was a low blow but I seriously needed to change the topic.
He frowned. "Yes, he should be. I'm sorry about what he said to you." He looked at me seriously and I shook my head.
"He didn't say anything that bad, just seemed really awkward about it." I said and he grunted.
"It only takes putting yourself in their shoes to realize you should be a bit more sensitive about it though, it's not about how awkward he feels, he should get over it." He complained, glaring at the paper.
"Well, not a lot of people have as much empathy as you, so it's harder." I excused quietly with a smile, and he stopped writing and looked at me.
"Empathy, huh?" He smiled and made me feel like I was missing something. "Do you think that's an important characteristic?" He questioned.
"Um, yes, empathy, compassion, kindness, they're the most important." I said and he bit his lip.
"Really, I thought you'd prefer them to be attractive." He said and I scoffed.
"Excuse me?" I tried not to seem really triggered but he caught on and blushed.
"I'm sorry, I see how that was rude of me. It's just in TV shows, the teenagers always care about looks." He explained tensely.
"What did you care about then?" I tried to make him understand but he shook his head.
"I didn't care about anything, I wasn't interested in people." He reminded and I sighed.
"Right, I forgot about that. Well, everyone is different, some shallow people may care about looks most, it's true, but some people value other things like intelligence or humour over physical appearance." I explained.
"And you prefer empathy?" He asked again.
"Yes, I'd say so." I smiled and he returned it.
"You tend to develop empathy easily when you work with animals and children." He changed the topic slightly before writing something else down on his work.
"Children?" Animals I understand, but I think working with children would just make me stressed out rather than empathetic.
"Of course, their problems are so simple and easy to understand, it's like learning the basics over again. By teaching them about why they should share their toys, you remind yourself about it. I'm always telling the children about why they should put themselves in other's shoes, it makes it come naturally to me outside of the nursery." He explained. "I learn a lot from children, and therefore pass that on to the people around me, so it's win win really." He chuckled and I smiled.
"Well I'm glad you work with them then, it's made you a valuable person." I said and he blushed.
"You seem to accidentally flatter people a lot too." He commented and I chuckled.
Accidentally, huh.
"You should come see the children some time, it's therapeutic." He suggested, and watched for my reaction
"Ah hah, sure. I haven't gotten along with most children I've been around."
I stopped myself from bluntly saying children were Satan spawn seeing as he seemed to like them so much. But really, they are.
"You would love these ones, they're great." He smiled fondly and I raised a brow.
"Really?"
"They have their issues, but once you've been around them long enough, you realize the good outweighs the bad. They're amazing, and I personally think people who don't like children just haven't been around the right ones for long enough." He said, while seeming to hint to me and I chuckled.
"Okay, sure. I'll come see your children, if it makes you so happy." I caved and he smiled at me.
He quickly finished writing his sentence before placing his pen down and sitting back. "Done, finally."
I looked down at the paper, reading something about methane stored in rocks or something before backing away. No thanks.
"Ew, intelligence." I commented and he smiled.
"Yeah that's not what whatever that is. That, is repeating a sentence so much that it becomes stuck in your head." He admitted and I chuckled.
I sighed as I looked around the room, thinking about how much better I felt now I was away from all of the chaos.
"Is this doing you good?" Aaron asked with a concerned expression, and I smiled before teasingly leaning against him.
"Yes, I feel relaxed." I answered as I looked at him upside down.
"Really? Have you stopped trembling?" He asked as he slipped his arm out from against my back and reached for my hand.
He held it up slightly and I bit my lip. "I hoped no one noticed that." I admitted and he sighed.
"I noticed when you got off that horse of yours, I hoped it was the adrenaline, but then you were doing it even on the train." He explained as he gripped my hand tighter.
"I'm not doing it now." I said with a smile.
"No, you're not. Maybe this was a good idea after all." He smirked as he let go, but left his arm across my chest as I leaned against him lazily.
"Or maybe it's because I'm with you." I commented without thinking, and then tensed and refused to look up at him to see his reaction. I knew saying something like that was completely selfish, but I only said it because it made sense.
I was still shaking outside earlier, but somehow, now...
"I'm sorry." I said awkwardly, feeling guilty.
"Don't be, I knew what I got myself into." He said, seeming to understand that I apologised because I hadn't meant for it to have been a flirt and lead him on.
I just felt like I was lying by brushing it off as an accident, and bit down on my tongue in frustration.
What the fuck am I doing?
---