Chapter Forty Seven
The hot shower water doused Robin's soapy skin and she did a slow 180, letting it all drip down. It felt nice to shower, it even felt like she hadn't showered in a week, and during that week she had been trekking the dusty sands of the Sahara in one outfit. This was an emotional cleanse rather than just a physical cleanse. And it was great to be able to get away from everybody. She was glad to be staying with Ariella but even with her own best friend in her room, it still felt a little crowded. And not to mention, Jesus was just a few doors down and that just made the whole house feel suffocated. In the shower, she was alone, and didn't have to talk to anyone or be around anyone- just herself, and the slow trickle of water coming from the showerhead.
But at least the elephant was out of the room- even if it was just the first and biggest one. But now Robin still wanted to have a talk with Jesus about what exactly happened between the two of them that led them to this acquiescent acquaintanceship, despite the fact that they had once been lovers. But it was time to pretend like nothing had ever happened and get accustomed to being around everyone again. After all, it was Christmas Eve. Everyone else was waiting for Robin to finish getting ready so they could open one present (Christmas Eve tradition), and play family games.
She got out of the shower, the fog well spread on the mirror in front of her, and put a towel around her chest as well as on top of her head to dry her hair, which she had just washed. Hey, there was no reason to look presentable, everyone was family. She swiped at the mirror with her hand to clear the fog and looked into it, her face even seeming fresher, more vibrant. She put on lotion (not looking presentable does not equal looking ashy) and slipped into her fuzzy slippers, opening the door to the bathroom and walking out. Only to be met face to face with Jesus.
To both their surprises, Robin smiled. She was feeling an ounce more confident after the Lifetime movie scene that had occurred in their living room, even if it was heavy. That was the whole point. She smiled, even when she was met with a mostly blank and hesitant stare. Jesus looked gorgeous up close too, she noted- just like River. His tan skin was burning red and his deep brown eyes were wide.
"Um..." Robin said for a while after the staring became awkward, but granted him a small grin.
"Oh, uh, sorry," Jesus shook his head and snapped out of whatever trance he was in.
Robin pointed at the open bathroom behind herself, a yogurt container full of shower supplies in that hand,
"Did you wanna use the-"
"Oh, the bathroom?" Jesus questioned.
She smiled and they both chuckled awkwardly.
"Yeah."
He stared again and then shook his head slowly,
"Oh no, I was just..." He shifted to another foot and took in a breath. "Can I ask you something?"
Robin, who now honestly just wanted to get changed, nodded,
"Yeah, sure."
She tried not to sound too eager, but not too irritated either- just the right balance so Jesus got the point.
"You don't um..."
He lost his words, but Robin prompted him, looking up at him and humming,
"Hmm?"
"Nah, it's nothing. I'll see you downstairs?"
Robin made a face, wondering what that "nothing" really was. She knew Jesus, and if he had something to say, he usually had no trouble getting it out, just like Ariella. If he wanted to say something, he should have just said it then and there, because then they could at least have a conversation, even if Robin was clad in a towel. But her expression softened and she nodded,
"Okay."
She stepped out of the way and he disappeared into the bathroom behind her, and then she walked into her room, still recovering from that strange altercation. She changed into something comfy- PJs and slippers- and made her way downstairs where everyone, including Jesus, was waiting for her. They were sat in front of the TV, a fire burning in the fireplace next to it, all watching Miami Vice and hubbubing over each other about the next case being discovered. It wasn't until Ariella shot up and ran over to Robin, engulfing her in a violent hug that anyone else glued their eyes away from the TV.
Ariella squealed,
"Birdy!"
Robin chuckled and hugged her back, despite the fact that Ariella was restricting her air flow at the moment.
"Hey, sis."
Ariella pulled back and smiled,
"Okay. So can we start now or what?"
The uneasy and rattled atmosphere that had been in the room not long ago was cleared up now, and everyone was in a Kodak moment mood. They had decided to put their differences aside and enjoy the holiday. Deep down, Robin knew it wouldn't last. But above all, she was glad her family and friends would always be there for her no matter what- Christmas couldn't simply be canceled. As per usual, they each decided they would open one gift, as it was family tradition to do so the day before Christmas.
Ariella's mom forbid Ariella to open her gift, which probably meant Ariella had gotten the phone she had been asking for for Christmas. Yet, she feigned cluelessness and opened Robin's first gift out of two instead, a polaroid camera and copies of old polaroid pictures of them together back in Georgia. She was of course, moved to tears. Others opened various gifts from each other, and Robin decided to open her dad's just to remove any tension still between them- it was a journal for her to use for her writing competition. He knew her oh so well.
Christmas gift opening wasn't the end of the night though. Another Christmas Eve tradition was playing Christmas/winter themed charades or a board game- everyone usually got too competitive with board games and even resorted to cheating, so charades was the final decision. Robin's mother decided to go last, after Jesus' horrible depiction of Frosty the Snowman. But her idea wasn't exactly Christmas oriented.
When she got up there, Robin was sure she had given the answer away to her dad, because he was beaming so hard he couldn't keep the telling smile off of his face. Robin wanted to be petty and call him out, but she would save that for the next major Holiday game they played. But her mom looked like she was fighting to hold in excitement too- what were they playing at? She started making the motions with her hands and multiple voices shouted out,
"Two words!"
"Three syllables!"
Without further ado, her mother removed the big clunky, furry robe she had been wearing, to reveal the loose fitting holiday sweater she was wearing underneath. Ignoring the murmurs of confusion, she lifted the shirt up to reveal her bulging belly. Her... irregularly bulging belly. Without really even thinking, because there was no need for a second thought- she just knew, Robin jumped up, almost freezing in midair and screeched,
"YOU'RE PREGNANT!"
She ran up to her mom and grasped her in a huge hug, then pulled back slightly so she wouldn't crush her mother.
"Have been since October," her mom smirked, hugging Robin back.
"Yes! I knew it, oh my god, like I knew it but I didn't want to say anything, you know?"
"How did you hide it so well? I looked like a whale when I was at that stage with Ariella," Ariella's mom asked.
"Lots of baggy sweaters and sweatpants. And when I went to work I always made sure to have a jacket over my blouse. Plus I'm only three months, not too big a belly yet. I was thinking of telling long ago, but Hugh said to save it for when you guys came, so it could be like a Christmas miracle type of thing. And it sure is," Robin's mom smiled warmly, looking down at her exposed belly and rubbing it.
"Congratulations, Les!" said Ariella's mom.
Then suddenly, in unison, both Ariella and Jesus piped up,
"Can I touch it?"
Dinner was served and any and all tensions from before had certainly been eased up once that announcement had been made, and who could be angry at anybody with egg foo young takeout in their bellies? But the fun could only last so long. Once dishes had been washed and it was lights out for the adults, the first thing Robin did was go over to Jesus, who was sitting alone on the living room couch reading a book. Robin, seemingly unnoticed by him, went over to sit down next to him on the other end of the couch.
"Watcha reading?" she asked.
He looked up from his book, becoming alert to her presence, and closed it, showing her the cover,
"Great Gatsby. School reading assignment. Have you read it before?"
Robin nodded with a small smile, and he grinned, cheering,
"That's my writer."
A small blush crept across his face before he put his book down, then looked away from her and cleared his throat, regaining his composure,
"So, how are things?"
A pause, then, hoping to tease something out of him, Robin slowly said,
"Good. How are you?"
"Oh, good, good," he said, although his voice went up an octave and he nodded, unable to make eye contact with her. She raised a brow,
"Can you look at me and say that?"
He looked up at her but instead of repeating himself he just chuckled dryly, shaking his head and shrugging,
"I mean, I don't know, it's... I don't know."
"Are you mad at me?" Robin leaned in gently, her tone softening, and her eyes too.
"No," Jesus shook his head, then seemed to take that answer into consideration, his thought process reworking. Then he nodded. "Yes. But, not enough to do anything about it. I mean, am I just supposed to sulk around all this time, give you sly remarks?"
"Well then at least I'd know how you feel."
"I feel fine."
"You know it wasn't gonna work, right? Long distance relationships sorta tend to do their own kind of thing. You know that?" Robin tried to reason with him, get him to see that this was nothing to have bad feelings towards her about.
"I guess I thought you would wait for me."
Robin chuckled distractedly,
"Wait for what? Were you going to come to Boston?"
He shrugged, because even he seemed to know he wasn't making much sense,
"I dunno. I applied for some colleges here."
Endeared by Jesus and feeling sympathetic for him and the result of her actions, Robin frowned. But she was confused by his idea of entitlement.
"What if I don't wanna go to college here? What if, you moved here just to be with me and we got sick of each other, and we broke up? There's just so many what ifs, you can't possible expect me to stay tied down to just one option so long as everything I do for the rest of my life pertains to you. I did come here for a new start. And... while that doesn't mean you can't be apart of it, well, it does mean that not everything I do is gonna revolve around making sure you're happy. I'm trying to make myself happy for once, in my seventeen years of living. You know?"
"I don't know, I guess I kinda thought we would be together when I came back here, when I got on the plane and all. But I should've just guessed you'd meet someone else. We hadn't spoken for months, and, you're beautiful and all... any guy is gonna want you."
"And any girl's gonna want you. And honestly, it was nothing you did, it was nothing you ever did. You've always treated me right. And yeah, maybe this could've ended differently, but at least it's ending right here, right now. Face to face, we're both seeing each other. It's better to tell each other exactly how we feel right in front of each other than just drift away, unnoticed, over the years. This is how you should end anything."
"Yeah, you're right. This is how it should be, if there should be an ending. I prefer this one, instead of... drifting away."
"Me too."
"Hey, you wanna know something?" Jesus said, after a long silence and pause.
"What?"
"You wanna know how I know you're a writer? How I remember you're a writer even though you don't tell anybody?" Jesus asked, carrying on. Robin nodded curtly,
"Yeah, how?"
"Because you always talk like I imagine a poet would. You words just sound so good together. You sound so wise, you know? You're really smart, Robin. That's why I'm accepting how things have turned out. Because I know that, if it's you, I know that it was right, it was meant to be. Not something you did, not a mistake you made. That's why we were together in the first place. Because it was you."
Robin could finally sleep that night, feeling daring, feeling bold, feeling inspired. But she still had one little thing in mind- a surprise.
what's robin's surprise ???
and how do y'all feel about this little robin and jesus thing? do you guys want more awkwardness like in the shower scene or do you want it to just be them chillin' and not really making a big deal of being around each other after what happened?
i'm liking how this is turning out!