This is a request from KarlaGaleana, more personally known as Princess, from Wattpad who wanted to see Kaneki and Bucky interacting more and for Kaneki to lose control and kill either Zemo, Crossbone or Pierce. I will only be killing Crossbones.
Warning: The part with Crossbones may be a bit gruesome so be warned.
There was a dozen figures sitting in a circle of chairs in an empty room. An ex-soldier was recalling what happened a few nights ago.
"-I was in bed with my wife except I wasn't in bed. I was back, hidden in that house with Danny in my arms. He was staring up at me with those cold dead eyes. I woke up screaming. My wife tried to console me but I grabbed the table lamp and was about to smash it over her head had I not gain consciousness. It was horrible, she is terrified of me," the ex-soldier was nearly sobbing at that point as he regretted his actions.
"That does sound horrible, but you're getting better, Cole," Sam assures, gently, leaning forward in his chair, "you woke up from the daze yourself, it's a sign that these sessions are working. When your son is born you'll learn that you are safe and sound. No more danger."
"I guess," Cole agrees, hesitantly, after wiping away his tears with his sleeve.
"Who's next?" Sam questions, scanning the room before his gaze stops on his two newest members. "Kaneki, Bucky, you have something you want to share?"
Kaneki mulled this over for a bit before deciding to share his latest experience, "You know the building that caught fire a few days ago? Even though I was asleep when the fire truck and ambulance came, I heard the sirens. I thought they were the warning sirens back in the 20th ward, that I was being attacked. When I woke up the next morning, my room was trashed and my fingers were bloodied," Kaneki chuckles slightly in contempt, the Owl Suppression Operation was something he could never forget. The Manager, Irimi-san and Koma-san were most likely killed and Kaneki had no idea where Hinami, Banjou and his friends are. Luckily, Kaneki was able to find out that Touka and Yomo safely evacuated from the ward and was in contact with them, same with Nishio.
"Why do you go backwards half the time?" Sam jokes, happy that Kaneki was finally comfortable with opening up to the group.
"It's a gift?" Kaneki shrugs and the others laugh.
"What about you, Bucky?" Sam queries and everyone turns to him to hear his story.
"Pass," was all Bucky said just like the last few sessions.
"Okay then," Sam allows before looking at his watch. "Today's session is over, but if you please turn your attention to the table you will see an assortment of snacks and drinks. Plus, we have our Coffee King so feel free to boss him around."
"You know, I thought I was invited so you could help me, but I guess I'm just here for my skills," Kaneki smirks.
"Man, took you long enough," Sam teases, punching him lightly in the shoulder as the others laugh. Kaneki sighs but gets up nonetheless.
"You're lucky I'm in a good mood," Kaneki quips as he started to make everyone's preferred coffee. Everyone cheers before getting up and heading to the table. Everyone except one.
Bucky just stayed in his seat, deep in thought, when a cup entered into his vision, snapping him out his thoughts.
"Made it just the way you like it," Kaneki says, passing the cup to Bucky before sitting next to him.
"Thanks," Bucky replies, taking a small sip. He glances at the occupants who were chatting amiably with one another as they ate. After all they've been through, they still found the strength to smile, to look forward for a new tomorrow. Could someone like him ever be that happy? Does he even deserve happiness?
Kaneki examines Bucky's face and immediately knew what the guy was thinking, he use to be the safe, after all, "It's only been your 3rd session, change isn't coming that fast. The process is for you to open up slowly which will allow you to heal."
"Do these sessions even work?" Bucky retorts before explaining in a calmer demeanour, "I mean, everyone here looks to be happy, but..." Bucky trailed off, not wanting to continue further.
"These session will work depending on how well you allow them to work," Kaneki reveals. "Give it time."
Bucky didn't give a reply instead gulped down the rest of his coffee, he got up and put his empty cup on his seat. "Let's go," Bucky called, walking towards the exit so Kaneki quickly does the same before following Bucky.
"See you next week, Wilson," Kaneki says.
"Bye Kaneki. Bye Bucky," Sam replies, throwing them a small wave.
Kaneki and Bucky walked side by side per the norm. Since Bucky lived in the Tower with the rest of the team and started to go to therapy with Kaneki, it became normal for them to walk the same way until Kaneki had to head in a different direction for work. This happened twice a week and usually happened in silence except today was different.
"There's something that I've been wanting to ask you," Bucky admits after a moment of hesitation. "You're with the Avengers so why do you work and go to university?"
"A sense of normalcy, I guess," Kaneki answered, a bit embarrassed. "After all that's happened, I want to experience to normal life, earn a degree, get a job like a normal teenager would." Bucky didn't give a response so the two just walked on in silence until Kaneki stopped and pointed in one direction, "I'll see you back in the Tower. Bye."
As soon as Kaneki strolled far enough away from Bucky, he sighed. Having a normal conversation with Bucky is so hard. Kaneki shoved his hands in his pockets and carried on to his workplace, window shopping at the same time.
During window shopping, he noticed a store that was completely normal, nothing eyes catching about it but he entered the store nonetheless.
The Tower
Bucky stepped off the elevator and into the living room where Steve was sitting on the sofa watching TV.
"Hey Bucky, how was therapy?" Steve inquired, looking back at him.
"Same as usual," Bucky replies, trying not to sound despondent.
"Did you participate?" Steve queries, throwing Bucky a knowing look which he avoided by focusing on the TV. "I'm not going to press, Bucky, but you need to try. That was the agreement," Steve reminds.
"I know!" Bucky snaps, rubbing his forehead in frustration, "but I just... can't," Bucky covers his face with both hands and slumps forward. He's killed so many people, both innocent and guilty. He shouldn't have the right to be sitting here. He's a murderer.
Steve sighs, feeling guilty, he pats Bucky's back in comfort before apologising, "Sorry, I shouldn't have pressed. Go at your own pace." The two sit in silence with only TV noise in the background before Steve starts up another conversation, "Kaneki went to work?"
"As usual," Bucky answers.
"You two seem to be getting along well," Steve notes.
"Kaneki's just friendly," Bucky countered.
"You should have seen him when we first met him, he was a mess," Steve discloses and nearly laughs when Bucky looks at him with shock.
Bucky narrows his eyes, "You're messing with me," he states.
"I wish I was, but I'm not," Steve corrects, looking at the ground in sorrow. He reminisces the past where Kaneki wasn't as carefree and chipper as he is now. "When he first came here, he was cold and aloof, but at the same time, terrified. He would wake up screaming from nightmares every single night until he refused to go to sleep at all. He would drink mountains of coffee to force himself awake. After 72 hours of not sleeping, we had no choice but to drug him with sleeping pills which didn't help with his trust issues, but his safety was more important at the time. He was actually placed on suicide watch. He hated us, not even hate, he loathed us. Arguing and fighting at every turn. S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted him to be locked up. Heck, most of team wanted him to be locked up! But Bruce and I worked with him until he started to open up. Now look at him, he's got a job, he's studying to get a degree. He's a functioning member of society. And it all started with a single step."
Bucky was deep in thought. He never knew Kaneki was so traumatised. He wouldn't even think it considering how he is now.
"What are you two talking about?" Kaneki inquires, curiously, making the two grown men jump up in bewilderment.
"When did you come back?" Steve asked, heaving huge breaths as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart.
"Uh, just now," Kaneki said it like they were crazy, "I always come home at 3:30 on Fridays."
Steve and Bucky turn back to the TV to see it was actually 15:30. Were they really chatting for so long?
"What did you buy?" Steve asked when he noticed that Kaneki was holding a plastic bag.
"Oh, it's for Bucky. To help you," Kaneki alludes, handing Bucky the bag, who proceeds to grab the content out.
"A book?" Bucky questions in disbelief and confusion, examining the blue cover closer and finds it to be a diary.
"A thought journal to be exact," Kaneki informs, a small blush appears on his cheeks as he bows his head, before admitting embarrassed, "you seemed rather uncomfortable in the sessions so I thought I'd get you this to help. I mean, if you're not comfortable sharing to the group then share to yourself. At least you'd be able to get a few things off your chest. Just make sure you hide it in a place Tony will never find it," Kaneki warns after after a moment of thought, he quickly scans the room to see if Tony is lurking round the room, but could not smell the rusty scent of metal and money.
Bucky stares at Kaneki before focusing back on the journal. Kaneki bought this... for him? Bucky's heart warmed at the thought, it felt nice.
"Speaking of Tony," Kaneki adds then points behind him with his thumb to a large box, "he ordered a big a**ed magnet so I suggest you watch yourselves."
Steve vaulted over sofa and ran to his room where his shield innocently lied. There was no way he was going to let Tony experiment with it. Bucky just rubbed his metal arm, this part would be harder to avoid the magnet.
Later That Night
Bucky was lying on his bed, twirling a pen in one hand while his knees propped up the journal. Bucky was mulling over what to write in his journal, he's been stuck for the past 45 minutes.
After another 10 minutes of contemplating what to write, Bucky gave up and tucked the journal under his pillow. As pathetic as the excuse was, he simply didn't know what to write. He didn't even know what to start with.
Maybe next time.
4 Days Later
Nothing.
That was what Bucky wrote the last 4 days. He just sat there each night chewing the cap of his pen while pondering what to write. Each night was a failure.
Currently, he and Kaneki were heading to another one of Sam's sessions. The two just walked in silence as usual. No small talk, not banter, just complete silence except the noisy street and people.
Bucky glanced over to Kaneki a few times, wondering why the teen did not inquire about the journal he gave him. Bucky opened his mouth to ask the question when he was interrupted.
(Bang!) (Boom!)
It was like time stopped for Bucky. Civilians started to scream and flee the area, going past the two heroes.
Bucky froze and from the corner of his eyes he gaped at Kaneki who fell to the ground, his head catching fire for only a few seconds. Bucky's mind was in turmoil. Was his friend really just killed in front of him? Before Bucky could scream in rage, Kaneki sat back up, rubbing the back of his head.
"What was that?" Kaneki inquired, picking a bullet from his hair. "Someone shot me?"
"Looks like I've underestimated your abilities," Crossbones notes, casually, as multiple Hydra agents swarmed the area, guns blazing. "I knew you have an amazing regenerative ability, but to survive an explosion to the head. Simply, amazing."
As soon as Bucky and Kaneki saw him, they got into fighting positions.
"What do you want, Crossbones?" Bucky questions, glaring at the man. He clenched his jaw and held up both his fists in a defensive position. Kaneki bared his teeth at the man, snarling.
"Oh, it's not what I want," Crossbones chuckles before explaining, "it's what Hydra wants. And what Hydra wants, or rather needs, is the Winter Soldier."
Bucky was about to retort when Kaneki cuts him off, "Over my dead body."
"That can be arranged. Attack," Crossbones commands and the Hydra agents go after Kaneki and Bucky. The majority of soldiers deal with Kaneki since he's the most violent and difficult to beat.
Kaneki and Bucky fought with all their might against the agents, but their numbers were too overwhelming. Strike down one, two more appear. In the midst of battle, Kaneki and Bucky found themselves separated from one another which allowed Crossbones to jump into the fray against Bucky.
Bucky attempts to punch Crossbones with his metal arm when Crossbones catches the fist and pushes it to the side before headbutting Bucky who stumbles back. Once caught off-guard, Crossbones smirks, he grabs Bucky's shoulder and punches him multiple times in the stomach until Bucky fell to his knees.
"You are wasting your talent and skills with the Avengers. Look at how weak you've gotten," Crossbones jeers, peering down at Bucky who was still crouching to the ground. "It's no use fighting us. Come back to Hydra."
"Never!" Bucky spits out in fury. He was about to get back up when Crossbones ordered his agents to hold Bucky down.
"Well, we have other ways to convince you," Crossbones hints before bringing out a tattered, old book. "Желание." (Longing)
Bucky recoiled, he knew what was going to happen, "Stop."
"Ржавый." (Rusted)
"No," Bucky shook his head vigorously to snap himself out of the first stages of mind control.
"Семнадцать." (Seventeen)
"Stop it," Bucky snarled, savagely. He was failing in his grapple to escape the harsh grips of the Hydra agents.
"Рассвет," Crossbones continues as if he could not hear Bucky's pleas. (Daybreak)
"Stop it!" Bucky screams, struggling more violently against his restraints. Not again. He doesn't want to kill again! His mind was going blank, it was telling to stop fighting, to just give in... but he can't! "No more! Please!"
'Bucky!' Kaneki looks back to see Bucky being forced to kneel while Crossbone is reading out words from a book. Kaneki tried to bulldoze through the herd of agents, but there were too many. He wouldn't reach Bucky in time.
"STOP IT!!" Kaneki could hear it. The pain, the sorrow, the fear in Bucky's voice. He knows what that's like... he knows what it's like to become a monster because of people's selfishness.
"Hello, Ka-ne-ki-kun! Let's have some fun, huh?" Yamori leers, licking his lips.
Not again.
"Are you about lose consciousness? That's not nice," Yamori scolds before electrocuting Kaneki. "That's better."
Not again.
"Kaneki, choose. Mother or son?!"
Kei-san, Kouto-kun.
No!
"NOOOO!!!" Kaneki shrieks and before he knows it, Mukade took over.
With Bucky
"NOOOO!!!" Bucky whips his head around when he hears Kaneki shriek. Suddenly, numerous amounts of Hydra agents went flying into the air before smashing into the ground, instantly dying.
Mukade comes barrelling through the thick herd of agents like they were dandelions. The top half of his face was covered by a black bird mask and he had a disturbing grin spread on his face, two centipede-like tails swaying hypnotically behind him.
Mukade grabbed a Hydra grunt by head and questions him, calmly, grin never faltering, "WhAt'S a tHoUSaNd MinUs sEvEn?"
The man yanked a knife out and jabbed into Kaneki's neck, Mukade didn't even flinch so the agent pulls back the knife only to find the metal bent unusually. It was then the agent started to whimper pathetically as he knew he was f***ed.
Mukade steadily added more pressure to his hand effectively crushing the man's head in a slow and painful manner. The other agents didn't wait for Mukade to kill the man. They grabbed their guns and started to shoot at Mukade though bullets had no effect. Despite knowing this, they kept on firing.
Mukade leers at the group of pitiable humans, he smashes the man's head into the concrete before summoning his 6 rinkaku kagune and piercing it through the abdomens of immeasurable soldiers.
All you could hear was the shrieks of pain from the agents who didn't die immediately from the attack. They soon began to whimper and begged for mercy or death.
Out of the 'goodness' in his heart, Mukade decided to grant them their wishes.
The ear-splitting wails of the agents grew more rambunctious as the tendrils in the stomach increased in diameter until the agents were ripped apart from the inside. Bucky, Crossbones and the remaining Hydra agents watched in horror and revulsion as Mukade began to spin around with his arms out, cackling maniacally as it rained blood and guts from the skies.
"AhAHaHAHahAHAhAhaHAHAhAHahAhAHaha...!" Mukade just kept twirling about.
"What a monster," some comments under their breath. It was still loud enough for Mukade to hear so he stops twirling and turns to the majority which blanch once they realise what's going to happen.
"Hail Hydra!" One agent chants before going to attack only to be decapitated in a second. The rest follow, hoping to overcome the beast with their shear numbers, but it was all for naught.
Crossbones chuckled in disbelief as he watches Mukade slaughter his men before remembering who he was here for. Crossbones glances at Bucky who was struggling more against the agents who were still holding him down. Crossbones focused back on the back only to find the words smeared off the page due to the blood. He cursed, but he knew the words by heart.
"Печь." (Furnace)
Bucky's eyes widened and he fought harder but it was all in vain. These guys were so much stronger than him, it was terrifying.
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Bucky nearly screams the mantra, trying to drown out the words of mind control.
"Девя-Guh!" Crossbones chocked when a kick came to his abdomen, sending him flying a few feet away, but he flipped back to his feet instantly. (Ni-Guh!)
Mukade smacked the two who were holding Bucky, away. He glared at Crossbones, at least that's what the others thought. Mukade brought up his hands and cracked a finger before pouncing into action. Crossbones dodged the attack and aimed a kick at Mukade's face, who blocked it, but stumbled to the side. Mukade hissed at Crossbones before stabbing the man through the gut.
"ARGH!!" Crossbones gargles out blood and grunts when Mukade yanks his hand from his stomach. Mukade brings up his bloodied hand to his lips and swipes it with his tongue. He shuddered, it was the most delicious taste in the world.
"Son of b****!" Crossbones cursed, he couldn't believe that this bastard injured him. That this filthy cannibal licked his blood! Scum like this don't deserve to walk this world, that is why Hydra exists!
"Monsters have no place on our planet," Crossbones states with venom. "Get the f*** out!" Mukade just giggles before cracking another finger, he just stood there. That just served to make Crossbones angrier, was this beast mocking him?
Crossbones yells out his own battle cry when all of a sudden, his mind disconnects from reality. He was no longer face-to-face with Mukade, but the ground. And from there he saw 4 crimson tendrils which impaled his stomach. How did this happen?
Mukade yanks his kagune back from the ground, Crossbones landing harshly which broke more of his bones. Mukade pounces up in the air before landing on Crossbones wounds, exacerbating his injuries. Mukade crouched down on Crossbones' stomach, just below the stab hole. The two agents released Bucky to help their leader only to be crushed by Mukade's kakuja tails.
"YoU toUcHEd bUCky," Mukade growled, grabbing Bucky's attention. "dON't TOucH MY frIEnD..!"
'Friend?' Bucky was in disbelief, 'Kaneki thought they were friends?' Bucky heard a war cry from behind and saw the remaining Hydra agents heading for Mukade. That was something he couldn't allow.
Mukade crushed Crossbones shoulder blade, relishing the man's groans, but he still craved the man's scream.
"Scream," Mukade breathes.
Crossbones just chuckles at that, he lift his head up to meet Mukade's gaze, "I don't feel pain like I did before. You can't get anything out from me."
Undaunted, Mukade grin, "ChaLleNGe AccEPtEd," Mukade retorts before plunging his kagune into Crossbones legs, drilling them off. The pain was so overwhelming that actually made Crossbones scream before punching Mukade right at his jaw, a sickening crack could be heard.
Mukade frowned before placing his jaw back into place with a 'pop!'
"ARGRRGHH!!!" Crossbones screamed as Mukade plunged his remaining rinkaku kagune into Crossbones arms and drilled them off like his leg. Mukade then pierced both hands into his stomach and messed up his insides, he soon began to yank out random bits of organs and flesh and stuffing them down his gullet. Suddenly, Mukade takes an ample bite of Crossbones throat.
All the while, Crossbones was fighting to free himself against every bite and tear, but without his arms and legs, it was futile.
Mukade just kept tearing into the man, blood and flesh went flying in all directions but he didn't care.
"-neki!"
This man needed to suffer.
"...Kaneki..!"
He deserves to suffer after what he put Bucky through.
"Kaneki!" A hand placed on Mukade's shoulder yanked him off of Crossbones unmoving body.
Mukade snarled and was about to take a chunk of the bastard who disturbed when he saw who it was.
"B-Bucky?" Kaneki questions slowly in confusion, his mask dissolving into dust.
Bucky nodded before analysing Kaneki, "Are you yourself?"
"What? Of course," Kaneki sputtered before realising he was sitting on someone. He glanced down and saw it to be Crossbones who was massacre brutally. Kaneki nearly screamed as he stumbled away from the body, "S***! Wha-What happened?!"
(Flash)
A flash went off out of the corner of Kaneki's eye so he turns to see civilians slowly returning to the area with their phones out. They saw him. They saw him attacking and... and eating Crossbones. They knew he was a monster.
Kaneki whimpered before vaulting over the crowd and dashing towards the Tower. The people scream in terror when Kaneki jumps over them but they never stopped recording and expressing their fear of Kaneki.
"Kaneki, wait!" Bucky begged, running after the traumatised teen. This was all his fault.
At the Tower
Few of the Avengers were in the Tower; Tony and Bruce were in the lab, Thor had gone to Asgard for a few days, Natasha and Clint were on a mission and should be back soon while Steve was watching TV.
Steve got up from the sofa to refill his bowl of popcorn when Kaneki rushed out the lift and crashed into Steve, sending them both tumbling.
"Kaneki! What the heck?!" Steve demanded as he got off the floor, he then got a proper look at Kaneki. "Kaneki, is that blood? What happened?!" Steve yanked Kaneki up to his feet, but didn't let go of his arm.
"Nothing," Kaneki muttered under his breath, trying to yank his arm from Steve's grip.
"It doesn't seem like nothing," Steve throws back before noticing someone was missing, "where's Bucky?"
Kaneki flinched before using all his strength to shove Steve away from him. Steve crashed into the wall, causing cracks to appear, he looked up at Kaneki in shock and disbelief over the fact that Kaneki shoved him.
"Shut up and leave me alone!" Kaneki demanded before sprinting to his room, slamming the door so hard the walls shook.
Steve just kept staring in front of him, at the space where Kaneki just stood, he shot up when the elevator opened and Bucky comes rushing out.
"Bucky, what happened?!" Steve demanded to know. "Kaneki just shoved me and ran to his room."
"Ka-Kaneki killed Crossbones," Bucky explained, still traumatised.
"Crossbones? Why did he go after you guys?" Steve nearly shouted.
"Hydra wanted me," Bucky discloses, distraught. He covered his eyes with his hand before explaining, "He started to say the words and Kaneki saved me... he grew a bird mask and slaughtered all of the Hydra agents."
Hearing the about the 'bird mask', Steve sighed in exhaustion and despondence. All the work he and Bruce put in to get Kaneki to open up has undoubtedly been ruined. It would be difficult if he could even get Kaneki out of his room tomorrow.
"Also," Bucky adds, nervously, "his face was exposed to the public. They took pictures."
Steve actually groaned. Screw that, it would a freaking miracle if Kaneki left his room at all in the next year! Steve rubbed his head in frustration, "After everything Bruce and I did... why did this have to happen?"
"This is all my fault," Bucky apologises, extremely regretful over what's happened.
"No it's not," Steve stated firmly before grabbing his phone, "I need to call S.H.I.E.L.D. Can you talk to Kaneki?"
Bucky nodded before heading upstairs to Kaneki's room. Bucky knocked on the door, but had no reply so he turned the know only to find the door locked, "Kaneki, can you open the door?" Again, he received no reply so he tried once more, "Kaneki?"
"Go away," Kaneki croaked though the door, it sounded as if he had been crying.
"Kaneki," Bucky frowned, "you just can't shut-"
"I said 'GO!'" Kaneki bellowed, the door practically shaking from the force. Bucky recoiled away from the door and he just stood there doing nothing. This was a dilemma he didn't know how to solve. While he stood there, pondering, he heard something from behind the door.
It was sobbing. Kaneki was crying softly, Bucky could hear anguish and heartache in his voice and there was nothing he could do to soothe it, so Bucky just walked away like the coward he was.
2 Days Later
It's been 2 days since the incident with Hydra, but the team still hadn't convinced Kaneki to leave his room. He's holed himself without any intention of leaving anytime soon.
"What do we do?" Tony asks.
"Don't know," Bruce answers.
"Kaneki has completely shut himself in," Clint comments.
"Can you blame him?" Natasha points out, "after that display, the public is terrified of him."
"But he can't hide in his room for the rest of his life," Steve argues.
"Nothing we do works though," Tony states, frustrated. "He threw his dresser at me!"
"Whenever we try to help it just makes him angrier," Bruce notes.
"So there's nothing we can do?" Clint summarises, annoyed.
"Bruce and I can work with him," Steve suggests, "we helped him before, we can help him again. The problem is that I don't know how long it'll take."
The group continued to discuss on how they were going to help Kaneki while Bucky stood against the wall, reflecting the last few days. Suddenly, he leaves the room and heads back upstairs. He has to try one more time.
Bucky knocks on Kaneki's door and receives the same retort the other received.
"Didn't I tell you guys to leave me alone?!"
"Kaneki, it's Bucky," Kaneki didn't grace him with a reply, but Bucky continued, "I know you're scared and ashamed of what happened with Crossbones, but everyone wants to help you. They're all worried... I'm worried. Please let us help."
Silence engulfed the hallway for a minute, Bucky made move to leave when Kaneki spoke up, "The difference between you and me, Bucky, is that you didn't choose to become a monster. You think what I did to Crossbones was horrible? You haven't seen the atrocities I've committed. I don't deserve your help."
"You didn't choose to become a monster, Kaneki. You chose to become strong so you could protect your friends," Bucky reassures.
"I still became a monster!" Kaneki bellowed before whispering, "I threw away everything; my friends, my life, my humanity to chase after power. I did this with my own volition even when I knew the consequences. Everything you did was not your own, but Hydra's."
"At least you had a choice," Bucky throws back before sighing and laying his forehead against the door, "I had no free will. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. I was never in control of my own body. Even if you believe you're a monster, at least you made your own choices that led you to become one. I would rather be a monster of my own decision rather than have others make me one."
"Kaneki... tomorrow is Sam's session. I plan to go. If you want to as well, I'll be waiting outside your room before leaving," Bucky informs, but he gets no reply. "See you tomorrow, I hope," Bucky sighs before heading to his own room.
Bucky falls back on his bed and feels something hard poke his shoulder, he gets up and plucks a blue book from under his pillow.
His thought journal. He forgot about this. Bucky flipped through the pages and as he expected, it was completely blank. Bucky sighed once again before putting the book down, he felt guilty that he still hadn't written anything down. It was a waste of a good gift, but he still had no idea what to write.
A thought journal should have your thoughts, feelings and your own story...
'Story?' Bucky echoes in his mind then stares at the book, a plan formulating.
Bucky grabs a pen and starts scribbling on the first page, it may be small, but it's a start.
The Next Day
Bucky once again stood outside Kaneki's door, he took in a deep breath before knocking, "Kaneki?" No reply, Bucky should've expected this. "It's Bucky, I'm going to leave now. Thank you for listening to me yesterday."
Bucky turned around and started to walk away when Kaneki's door shot open and a hand grabbed Bucky's jacket. Bucky chocked when he was forcefully tugged back so he turns around to see Kaneki, in a black hoodie with the hood up, holding his jacket with his thumb and forefinger while staring at the ground, his cheeks dusted red.
"I-" Kaneki started, his voice hushed, he twirled his bangs in anxiousness, "I'm coming as well."
Bucky stared at Kaneki for a moment before smiling, "Sure."
They resumed walking and when they reached the bottom of the stairs, they were met with shock and relief by the team.
"Kaneki?" Bruce questions.
"You're going out?" Tony comments.
"How are you, man?" Clint inquires.
"Nice to see you up and about," Natasha quips.
"Kaneki, how are you doing?" Steve asks.
"I'm fine, thanks," Kaneki reassures before bowing at 90 degrees, "I'm sorry for my attitude the last few days. It was childish and asinine and I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you. Please forgive me."
"It's fine, Kaneki," Bruce assures.
"Yeah, what's important is that you're okay," Steve agrees.
"Just for the record, I already ordered you a new dresser, but you're assembling it yourself," Tony states.
"Fair," Kaneki shrugged.
"We should go now if we want to reach Sam's session in time," Bucky reminds so the duo wave the team goodbye before heading out. The walk was full of tension from Kaneki who was terrified that he'd be found out, but no incidents occurred. Bucky made sure of that.
It wasn't long till they reached the VA, Sam was already sitting down will all the other members. It appeared that they hadn't started yet. There were two empty seats.
"We late?" Bucky jests.
Sam whips his head to the door to see Bucky with Kaneki hiding behind him, he smiles and offers the empty seats, "Nope. Just on time."
Both Bucky and Kaneki take their seat though the latter kept fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie, he kept glancing at the other occupants when Garcia handed a cup of coffee.
"You look like you really need it," was all Garcia said before taking her own seat.
"This is the first time she's made coffee so expect a trip to the hospital," Cole jokes, teasing Garcia who was left flustered.
"It's not that bad!" She retorts, her face flushed crimson from embarrassment. Everyone laughs at that, including Kaneki.
"Hey, Sam, can I go first?" Bucky requests.
"The floors all yours," Sam relents.
Bucky reaches for his bag and pulls out his blue journal, Kaneki's eyes widened and he leaned forward slightly. Bucky opens up to the first page and glances at the group, "Kaneki got me this to help with the sessions. It took me about a week to figure out what to write and today, I'm here to share. One thing I've learnt from him and this group is that everything will be okay." Bucky glances at Kaneki before reading what he wrote. The group listened intently and Kaneki knew that what Bucky said is true.
Everything will be okay.
Ahh! This took way too long to finish. I kept getting stuck, but persevered through!