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Making up with Chuck was something I didn't think would happen for a long time. I thought this fight would keep us apart for a year at least. Chuck even said that he hated me during this time. No matter how much he's pissed me off I've never hated him. Not once. Knowing that by me agreeing to partner with Bart made Chuck hate me hurt me to my core. I've never wanted to hurt my brother so much for him to hate me. I thought our relationship was strong enough to withstand any tension or fights we may have. I almost lost my brother for a good portion of my life and I never want to have that happen again. Life is too short to not speak or hate someone that you love. I'm not saying I'll give up my position in Bass Industries, but I will make more of an effort to make Chuck feel loved and wanted by me. I never want him to feel that I chose Bart over him. If anything, I chose to take control of my life and make a difference in it. It had nothing to do with Bart. Bart is a small factor in all of this. I care too much about my brother to let a fight keep us apart.
I didn't even make it out of my car before I see Chuck standing outside my apartment. One I had no idea he even knew where I lived. He walks towards me with a serious expression on his face.
"Hello, Chuck. What are you doing here?"
"I need to ask you something important." I nod my head and lead him up to my apartment.
"Uh, would you like anything to drink or..."
"What do you know about Bart's relationship with Iman's father?"
"Nothing other than what they said today to each other. Why?"
"I need to know Ella. How close are you to our father?"
"Well, besides having weekly meetings with him to discuss the company and how I'm doing as his partner. Not much. We don't talk that much outside of business and..."
"What do you not about Bart and Iman's father's business deals?"
"Uh, are you talking about him purchasing all of the horses?"
"So, you do know about this."
"Know about what?"
"Don't lie to me, Ella. What are you hiding?"
"Nothing! Calm the hell down. As his partner, I looked through the books and all I found was a file that had the purchase of Iman's father's horses and that was all it said. It showed the transaction."
"And do you know what he did with the horses?"
"Why do you care so much about these damn horses? What are you really wanting to ask me?"
"What do you know about Sudan?"
"I know as a U.S. company they are one of the few countries that have an embargo on."
"An embargo?"
"Yes, meaning we are banned from all trade deals with Sudan. Why are you asking about that?"
"Because Iman and her father are Sudanese nationals. Bart bought their horses but there is no trace of where they went."
"So, what did he do with them?"
"It's not what he did with them that's the issue."
"Then what's the issue?"
"Iman told me her father was in the oil business and..."
"You think Bart illegally bought oil from her father and tried to cover it up with purchasing his horses instead?"
"That's what I'm going with."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because as my sister you know how corrupt our father is and I know you want to do right by everyone. Please help me prove that he did what he did."
"This is dealing with illegal business. If we go down this road it could end badly for us."
"Please, help me get the proof I need to turn him in."
"So, you can get rid of our father and you can have your place in the company again."
"No, so I can do something right. I know what I've done in the past hasn't been the most noble or ideal, but what Bart is getting away with is wrong. He didn't fake his death for the reasons he told us it was so he could avoid federal prison."
"If we go through this are you ready to deal with the consequences that follow?"
"I am if you are."
"I'll see what I can find in Bass Industries books and I'll let you know what I find." Chuck comes over and kisses my cheek.
"That's all I can ask from you."
__________________________________
From considering Bart's illegal business ventures, I completely forgot that this year I was selected to be the head of the cotillion committee. In the years past I was asked to give a speech and now I'm one of the main benefactors in showcasing these young girls to the world. Planning for cotillion isn't hard since it's at the same place every year. The hard part was double checking with everyone that they had their affairs in order and they know when they are being presented. I completely spaced on calling the last five girls and I needed to go over my speech. I also had to call and confirm Vogues journalist for the event. Everything was coming down to last minute things and it was killing me.
"Babe, I'm back." I look up from phone to see Carter waltz in with his suitcase in tow. He strides over to my place on the table and leans down for a kiss. "What are you up to?"
"Doing my part as head of the cotillion committee."
"That reminds me I got my tux for tonight but I need to know what color is your dress for my tie."
"Shit!"
"What?"
"I do not have a dress!" I scramble and look through my closet hoping to find something. I hear Carter follow me into my closet then lean against the doorframe.
"Babe, you have hundreds of dresses and..."
"Don't you start. You don't just wear any dress for cotillion!"
"No need to get testy!"
"You want to see me testy, keep this up and we'll see who gets testy."
"E, all I'm trying to say is you have dresses in here that you haven't worn in ages and they are beautiful on you." Carter pushes past me and looks through my clothes. He pulls out one and shows it to me. "What about this one?"
"It's not right for the occasion."
"It's a dress is it not?" I take the dress out of his hands and drape my arms around his neck. He moves his hands to rest on my hips rubbing soothing circles.
"Carter, thank god you're hot. Because you know nothing about fashion."
"What? I know things about fashion."
"Babe, that dress is for a casual outing, not cotillion." I look past him and search again and finally find something. I pull it out and sow him. "Now this is something I can wear for cotillion."
Carter scratches the back of his head. I can see the look of confusion written all over his face. "I honestly don't see the difference from what I picked out and the one you chose."
"One, the dress you chose is a sundress and second this one is custom Channel. There's a big difference."
"Then if you knew that why didn't you chose that in the first place."
"Babe, like you said I have hundreds of dresses and I didn't remember this one until you were standing in front of it."
"Women I never understand them and their fashion."
"And I don't understand men and their need to be part of sex club!" Carter rests his body on the wall closing his eyes.
"I thought we weren't going to bring that up."
"I'm sorry, you saying that you and my father were part of the same sex club still doesn't sit well with me."
"I told you I didn't go that ma..."
"Bullshit! Chuck told me about how you paid off that girl during the time my father was faking his death."
"That was nothing. I..."
"Carter, what I wear matters. It's my job to show up to events and represent fellow designers and..." Carter brings me into a hug and I rest my head on his shoulder.
"I'm not questioning why you need to wear certain things."
"Then why did this argument even start?"
"For the first time, ever I've seen you stressed over something as silly as cotillion. And why I have no idea. You've hosted and given speeches at bigger events. What is really bothering you?" I didn't realize that I was giving off this stress vibe. I'm so used to holding it in and dealing with everything on my own. I've never had someone who could read me so well like Carter has.
"I'm just dealing with things."
"Tell me about them."
"I can't."
"And why not?"
"It's personal." Carter releases me from his embrace and paces around the closest. "I don't know why you want to know so much?"
"You want to know why?"
"If I didn't I wouldn't have asked you the question."
"I want to know why you refuse to share things with me."
"I share a lot of things with you!"
"No, you share the bare minimum with me. You tell me your favorite movies, food, and all surface level things. We never go deeper than this."
"I don't' know what you expect from me?"
"I expect to share everything with you."
"I do share everything with you. I share my apartment, my bed, my..."
"You have never once told me how it was like for your growing up. Or when you knew when you wanted to become a model or..."
"One why do you need to know what it was like for me growing up. Two I did tell you."
"Babe, I love you and I will always love you, but for us to continue to have this relationship we need to reach another level."
"What more do you want?"
"Ella, at Serena's gala, that she hosted I said something and you never asked me about it." I know I talked to Serena about what Carter said, but it's easier to talk to your girlfriend about what you're feeling than admitting it to Carter.
"What you said caught me off guard and so much happened after it."
"What do you think about it?"
"About our family?"
"About us possibly having a family." Now it's my turn to lean against the wall. I have no idea what to say. When Serena and I talked about it I was fearful that I didn't deserve a fairytale ending. I think about the reasons why I believe I don't deserve it and I break down. "Ella, why are you crying?" Carter tries to hug me but I walk away from him. God, when did this closest get big enough for me to walk around in circles?
"You wouldn't understand." I say through tears. I look like a crying mess as Carter still tries to comfort me and I avoid his embraces.
"This is what I'm talking about. I want to get to know you on another level. Tell me and then together we can judge what I can and can't understand."
"I'm not the same girl you knew t four years ago. I've gone through and realized that I'm a messed-up person."
"In what ways are you messed up?"
"I'm cold and closed off. I have messed up all of my relationships and..."
"What have you messed up?"
"I broke things off with Val because I felt we were getting too safe and I could never fully trust Nate and I broke things off with him because I needed to find out what I want. I fear that I run when things get good or the moment I see things going the wrong way. I keep myself from happiness because I don't deserve it."
"Are you saying you don't think you deserve me?"
"Do I deserve anyone?"
"We've had a similar conversation before where you didn't think you deserved to be loved or wanted. I will tell you the same thing I said then. The reason you feel that you don't deserve love is because no one has shown you what true love is."
"That's not true. Val loved me unconditionally and even has a love for me even after my miscarriage and..."
"But things got safe and the passion disappeared. And with Archibald, there was too much passion and not enough love."
"How can you say that? You weren't there for Nate and my relationship."
"But I'm here after it. The reason you broke up with Nate brought you falling back in love with me and I am thankful for that. I want you to know that my love for you has never ended and it will never go away. You deserve to know what true love is. I've known since the moment I bumped into you in Paris five years ago that I was madly in love with you."
"You couldn't have known then."
"That's something you don't understand. The effect you have on me has changed me. I've wanted and become a better man because of you. You have are the best thing that has happened to me and will ever happen to me." Carter takes my hand and does the thing I never thought he would do. "That's why I have to ask, what do you think about building a life together?" My heart stops.
Did you expect that to happen? Will it last?