So this is a dark chapter... sorry.
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Tris
I rub my sleepy eyes and look around for Tobias until I see his silhouette in the darkness. He sits on a chair, bowed down to tie his shoelaces. I frown.
"Tobias?"
The silence makes my voice sound louder.
He doesn't answer. In fact, he doesn't react at all.
I throw the blanket off of me and get out of bed. The floor is cold under my naked feet as I walk towards him.
Tobias lifts his head up to me when I stand right in front of him, and I gasp and jump back in horror.
His eyes.
His eyes are not like his.
They are empty, staring at me without showing any emotion. There's nothing there; no fear, no recognition, no love.
No Tobias.
***
I walk behind him in silence, my thoughts racing to find a way out of this situation. More people with empty eyes join us as we march along the hallways. Everyone's steps share the same rhythm, so I intend to stick to it, too.
I can only assume we're heading to the pit, but we're taking the strangest route, passing by all of our friends' apartments. Christina. Uriah. Lynn. Marlene. Zeke and Shauna. Will. Lauren.
They all look the same.
They all look like empty shells.
It's hard not to panic as I realize that I'm alone, completely alone.
Why is this happening?
***
The pit is crowded with people. There must be some secret pattern in which everyone finds his or her place in one of the many lines. I struggle not to differ from the rhythm of the steps as I try to find the place that I'm supposed to go.
I don't know how, but I just walk and end up in a line in the middle, right behind Lauren.
It's surreal that I'm the only one in the crowd who knows what's really going on.
The waiting people stand so still that I don't dare to move either. I just glance sideways to where Tobias was standing only seconds ago, but he's not there anymore.
My heart rate speeds up. Where is he? Where has he gone?
I can't control my breathing. I try to take in deep breaths, and slowly, but I can't. I just can't.
***
We're moving forwards, every line in the same pace. I can't see what they're doing in the front.
I can't see. It's too dark, and there are too many expressionless faces around me. All those people. They have all turned into mindless soldiers because our vaccine doesn't work.
I finally recognize it's Eric who's standing facing my line, holding a syringe of orange liquid that he injects into the neck of the boy in front of him.
Another step.
I have to take another step.
And another.
It's Lauren's turn now, but Eric's hand holding the syringe sinks.
"Lauren," he says.
"Eric," she replies, her voice firm.
How is she awake?
"How are you awake?" Eric repeats my question.
How did he know what I was thinking?
"Because I'm Divergent," Lauren replies.
"I see," Eric snarls, and then his expression changes to a grin.
He snaps his fingers. Two faceless men appear out of the darkness behind him and take a struggling Lauren with them.
"Next!" Eric snarls after he's done with her, not even bothering to look at them anymore.
Instead, he looks at me.
"Ah, the stiff!"
I shudder upon hearing his voice, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done to keep my face expressionless as he raises the syringe between us.
"Maybe you will make a good soldier after all," he smirks as he pushes the plunger down on the syringe and forces whatever it is into my blood.
***
I'm dragged away by Max, his hand firmly closed around my arm. He directs me to the makeshift stage that's set up in front of the crowd and pushes me up there.
I stumble and almost fall right into the spotlight shining down on me for everyone to see. But then I remember that they can't really see me.
Nobody notices me as I stand there witnessing the beginning of a war that I was unable to stop.
I couldn't, and I can't now.
My heart hurts more with every beat. I want to turn away, but I can't. I'm frozen where I stand, forced to watch.
And I still can't find Tobias.
***
"Well, well, well, if that's not Beatrice Prior."
Jeanine Matthews steps in front of me, and the never-ending stream of soldiers behind her fades away into darkness. Now it's just her and me.
"It's Tris!" I spit at her.
"No, I don't think so. If you were Tris, if you were Dauntless, you would have stopped this. You and your friends. But you didn't. You couldn't."
"But we tried so hard!"
"Tss, you call that an effort? You still haven't developed a decent plan. What have you been doing all the time? Nothing!"
"That's not true!" I yell.
"It doesn't matter anymore. You're guilty."
Behind her, three figures step out of the darkness: My parents and Caleb.
"There's blood on your hands," my mother says with her soft, loving voice.
I look down and see thick red liquid drop from my palms to form a dark puddle at my feet.
"But I'm not bleeding!" I protest.
"It's not your blood," mum explains.
I panic and try to wipe it off on my pants, but it doesn't stop. It won't go away.
It never will.
***
My trembling hand is clutched around the metal of a gun. I don't know how it got there, or what I'm supposed to do with it.
Then I look at my family only a few steps away from me. They're sitting on wooden chairs now.
"You'll have to shoot. Pick someone."
That's Eric's voice again.
A woman laughs. I turn my head. It's Jeanine, holding a notepad in her hands, scribbling. Is she studying me?
I hear the familiar sound of the safety catch being released on a gun before its barrel is pushed against my temple.
"Do it," Eric hisses.
"I won't."
"Playing brave now? We'll see about that."
"Okay, step two then, Eric," Jeanine says, and I wonder how she manages to remain this cold and distant.
Two men walk up the stage, their faces scarred and grayish, skull-like. But it's not them that scare me. It's the person they're dragging towards me between them.
Tobias.
***
Tobias and I are holding each other. It's suddenly dark around us, and when the lights turn back on, we take a look around.
I don't see it at first, but when I grab Tobias' hand to run off with him, we're stopped by an almost invisible wall of glass.
Water starts dropping down on us from above.
No! No, this can't be true!
"This isn't real," I say to Tobias, but he shakes his head sadly.
"I'm afraid, this time it is."
The water level rises quickly, it already reaches our knees. I look around and see my family's still watching us, motionless in their seats.
"We have to find a way out." I can't hide my panic as the water reaches my hips.
"There's only one way out for you. Kill Four!" Jeanine explains matter-of-factly.
"No way!" I protest. This is ridiculous. "I don't even have a gun!"
"Yes, you have. You let it fall to the ground," Tobias reminds me, pointing downwards.
"I won't kill you!"
"If you don't shoot him, I'll shoot your family," Eric threatens from outside the tank. "You're responsible for all those people dying anyway, so a few more won't matter, will they? It's too late to stop us. I'm counting to ten now."
I was so distracted by Eric that I missed Tobias fishing for the gun.
"I love you, Tris. I'd die to protect you."
A deafening shot rips the air into pieces as his body sinks into the water, lifeless.
And I scream, the raw horror of the scene forcing my voice to produce a sound as pained as it was never forced to make before.
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In case you hate me now, please read again carefully to figure out what's going on and what this chapter is really about.
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DISCLAIMER: I own neither the Divergent world nor the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth.