Thanks for your votes and comments on the last chapter! 👍🤗 Time to let the gang work a bit more on their plan... Here they go!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tris
I walk around in the hallways until it is time to go to Zeke. I was hoping to find Tobias in the training rooms, cause it would be a lot like him to go there, but he must have gone somewhere else. Even when I arrive at Zeke's apartment, he isn't there yet. One by one, everyone else arrives. We're a group of pale faces this afternoon, shock and fear written into our features.
Christina hugs me again, and this time I let her. It's so different from the happy, excited embrace she pulled me in earlier, just moments before everything turned upside down.
Tobias is the last to make it through the door, and I don't know why I'm so deeply relieved to see him. What did I fear that might have happened to him? I basically rush into his arms and inhale his scent.
Once we're all gathered around the table in the living room, just like every other time we've met here, nobody dares to speak. It's as if whoever says it out loud will be the one to make the threat more real.
Zeke finally clears his throat in order to begin when we're disturbed by an urgent knock on the door.
The silence hangs over us, loud, until there's another insistent knock.
"You're waiting for someone?" Tobias whispers to Zeke and Shauna, and they both shake their heads.
Another knock.
"I know you're in there. I won't leave until you let me in!"
I know that voice. And I'm sure she means what she says. She can be quite persistent, I've come to know.
"Go and open the door," I tell Zeke.
He looks unsure, his gaze wandering between Shauna, Tobias and me. Tobias looks at me, too, staring into my eyes, thinking.
"Yeah, let her in," he finally states. He must have come to the same conclusion.
Hesitantly, Zeke stands up and walks over to the door. Lauren takes one look at him and quickly steps inside.
"So, tell me what's going on here. What are you up to?"
We shoot questioning glances at each other. Are we going to let her in on the secret?
"Don't tell me you're celebrating, I won't take that. You all look scared, and I know you know something I don't. I want to know what it is."
"How did you find us?" Uriah asks, playing for time, maybe, or he's just curious.
"I followed Four around after what happened in the pit. It wasn't hard to grasp there was something out of the ordinary." Lauren turns to Tobias. "You hardly show emotions, and then I saw how you looked at Tris and Zeke, so I sneaked along behind you to see where you were going. And it's not that you usually spend a lot of time down in the chasm, I suppose."
Tobias swallows. It must be difficult for him to accept that it was him leading her here, even if it wasn't on purpose.
Suddenly, all attention turns to me when Lauren asks the group whether they trust me to decide if she is reliable enough to be told the truth.
What? Why me?
"I'll go and have a little chat with her, and then she can give you her opinion," she adds.
"I trust her," Uriah is the first to say.
The others follow him, but I notice how difficult it seems especially for Tobias. I'm sure he trusts me, but it's another thing for him to trust others, apart from Zeke.
"See you in a minute," I say as I get up and follow Lauren into Zeke and Shauna's bedroom. I'm bursting with curiosity by the time we stand by the window and look out into the city.
"Okay, I'll tell you something about me and I ask you to keep it secret. I don't want anybody else to know, not even Four. It's very personal, but I trust you with it, cause I know you understand what it's like."
"Okay, I'll keep your secret."
"I'm like you. I'm Divergent."
I gasp at her revelation. I wouldn't have expected Lauren... And how does she know about me? I have to ask her.
"I saw how you were thinking through different strategies when I oversaw your simulation with Four in it on the day he was in Amity. I could see it in your eyes, the way you looked upwards while you were thinking. I didn't want to talk to you about it, cause I was too shocked about what else I saw in that sim. Also, I thought Four knew about it and had already given you advice on how to mask it. But then, I wasn't sure at first, when I didn't know you two were together. I thought it was part of how he threatened you to fail initiation."
I go over that days' events in my memory as well as what Tobias told me about his confrontation with Lauren. It seems believable.
All eyes are on me as we return to the living room.
"I trust Lauren," I say simply.
"Okay, then so do we," Uriah shrugs.
We sit down after all gave their consent to tell Lauren everything we know and have planned. There are some news to exchange about yesterday, too. Zeke tells us how he picked up the serum from Cara, and Shauna confirms that she managed to mix all the vaccine into the drinks before they were given to the members on the roof.
Then we sum up what little knowledge we have about the upcoming attack. Everyone heard different rumors about the injections going on over the next two days, until every member will have had one. That, combined with last week's information from Evelyn that they'd try to delay the weapon delivery until Tuesday or maybe even Wednesday, tells us that we should be safe for at least one more day.
But it doesn't change the necessity of developing a decent strategy on how to stop the conspiracy. It's the point we always come back to.
"We should think about warning Abnegation. Maybe there is something we can do without risking being discovered. We should at least try," I say with my parents on my mind.
"Why don't you go there tonight? You know their compound well, and you could tell your mum. She already knows that something's going on anyway."
I thankfully smile at Uriah for his support. Although he can be hilariously silly sometimes, he also has this considerate side to his personality that I value so much. He blinks at me and returns my smile.
"I'll definitely do that," I confirm.
"So who do you want to come with you? You won't go anywhere alone in the middle of the night," Zeke says, getting up from his seat. He starts walking up and down his living room.
"Four." I don't have to think about it at all.
"I'll accompany you," he immediately agrees, and I'm sure he needs this as much as I do, the feeling of at least doing something. We need to regain control, even if it's just in small portions.
We exchange possible ideas on how to stop the attack then, but always come back to a suggestion that Christina made in the beginning of tonight's meeting, apparently when I was next door with Lauren: We should go to Candor and ask for help there. They are our society's lawyers after all, and it's part of their duty to ensure that the laws are followed by everyone. Perhaps they can offer us their support or even have ideas on how to legally stop our leaders.
We decide that Christina and Will are going to meet Candor's leader Jack Kang tomorrow. If we want, Uriah and I can join them. Unfortunately, the others have to work and can't sneak out of Dauntless as easily as we can.
"There's something I want to ask. I'd like to tell Marlene about the Allegiant," Uriah says, but he doesn't sound as if he asks anything but the permission to do what he has already decided to do anyway.
His question, however, leads us back into a discussion after we'd just come to the point of ending our meeting for today. There are different opinions, and neither Tobias nor Shauna want to let anyone else in on our secret.
Zeke and I both disagree with them. We support Uriah's wish to tell Marlene, as he refers to her as his girlfriend, and nobody of the rest of us has to keep such a major secret from his or her significant other.
I dislike that Christina and Will declare themselves neutral. How can they not have an opinion on that matter? I understand why Lauren doesn't want to share her thoughts on the issue, though, because she's only just become part of the group herself.
After a heated exchange, we decide to talk about it again tomorrow.
On the way home, I'm wondering if Tobias and I are still okay with each other even though we have a different opinion about Uriah, and I'm relieved he doesn't dwell on it. Neither do I. My mind is too exhausted for an argument about that.
We write a letter to my mother to explain what's going on, and then we wait until it's late enough to sneak out of Dauntless.
There's a fine humidity in the air that feels cool against my hands and face, the only parts of skin not covered by fabric. I can't wait until we're far enough from the compound to start running without causing too much attention.
I prefer running to taking the train tonight. Though the first steps cost me a lot of effort, I feel lighter with every block we pass. With my mind focused on the rhythm of my breathing and my feet hitting the wet pavement, the pressure is being lifted off my heart.
By the time we reach Abnegation, I don't even want to slow down, but I know we have to stop.
We make sure there's no one else around before I make my way through the darkness to our house and push the letter inside through the crack under the front door. I glance up to my parents' bedroom and mutter a short 'Stay safe' under my breath before I turn around to leave them again. I hope mum can think of a way to warn her faction or to somehow prepare them for an emergency.
Tobias doesn't say or ask me anything as we take off along the empty streets that lead us back to Dauntless.
We say goodbye to each other in the hallway in front of my apartment. I know it's only for the short time that we need to each take a shower after our trip to our former faction, but it still feels wrong.
"I'll come over as soon as I'm ready," I whisper before I turn my key around.
My apartment is cold. Right now, still sweating, I like it, but I'll have to turn up the heating a bit more. I've spent so much time over at Tobias' place that I haven't slept here in days. We should spend time here again.
I kick off my running shoes and hang the jacket over the back of a kitchen chair to dry.
But upon entering my bathroom, I suddenly wonder why I'm here at all. Why am I so afraid to shower with my boyfriend? With all we're facing, I let some stupid neon lights get into the way of what I want?
No.
I turn on my heel.
Tobias' bathroom door is slightly ajar, and I can hear the water running. Going in just like that feels like intruding. I stop and knock twice.
"Hey, it's me. Can I come in?"
"Sure."
Steam from the hot shower has already begun to condensate on the mirror's surface and has turned the shower's glass door opaque. I can make out Tobias' shape behind it, though.
Without much thinking, I remove my clothes and lay them on a small heap. More steam swirls into my face as I open the shower door. Tobias is standing under the spray with his back to me, but turns around when he hears the door squeak.
I take the hand he offers me and step inside the cubicle. I meant to look down to see where I step, but my gaze lingers about half a second to long on Tobias' groin on the way. Closing the door behind me, I keep my eyes on our feet.
"Come here."
It's neither a question nor is it a plea. It's a demand, spoken with the most caring voice, and I let him pull me into his arms.
Since I opened the door to the cubicle, I had forgotten I was naked, too. Now the amount of naked skin on skin surprises me. It still feels unfamiliar, but good. I sling my arms around Tobias' back, and he holds me to him.
"I'm so scared," I mutter against his chest.
"I know, Tris, I know. Me too."
Just knowing we share the same fear helps to ease it a little as we stand and let the hot water wash away its sharpness. But the fear itself is not going away.
"Can I wash your hair?" Tobias asks, his question taking me by surprise.
I ease out of his embrace and nod. He puts his hands on my waist, slowly turns me around and tilts my head back, so that it's under the shower without getting water over my face. I hear him open and squeeze the shampoo bottle before his hands lather my hair. He takes his time to gently massage my scalp with his fingers, and I can't stop myself from sighing.
Nobody has ever washed my hair like he does. Even back when I was a child and my mother helped me with it, she never took her time like Tobias does. But it's the same warm feeling of being cared for I used to have as a child, which I haven't felt in ages and which I never knew I'd been missing until now.
I want to lean back into his touch, but I only get a splash of water running over my face, so I stay where I am and let him continue until he has rinsed out all the shampoo.
Again, I try to lean back against him, wanting him close. I need to feel that he's here, that he's real, that I'm not going to lose him. He hesitates, but then circles his arms around me over my stomach, and I'm embraced from behind.
"Please ignore my body's reaction to you, I know it's inappropriate at the moment. I just can't prevent it when you make those soft little noises," he mutters into my ear.
I don't know how to respond to him, so I just lay my head back against his shoulder and my hands on his hips and try to blend out how hard he is against my lower back.
We're both breathing fast, but after a while it slows down and our rhythms synchronize. Taking this shower with Tobias is the most soothing thing I could have done tonight to calm the burning anxiety in my chest.
When we step out of the cubicle after the water began to turn colder, Tobias wraps a towel around his waist and one around me, and then we stand in front of the mirror, looking into each other's eyes through the reflection.
He lays a hand on my shoulder, protectively grazing over my skin with his thumb, and I put my hand on his.
"Tris," he says softly. "Even if nothing else is alright, you and me," he squeezes my shoulder reassuringly, "we are."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the Divergent world nor the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth.