This chapter is unable to be edited due to a wattpad glitch so I am sorry for the spelling errors. If you're also getting an empty chapter because of a wattpad glitch I'm sorry but I'll have to sort it out tomorrow because I'm going out.
You also can't vote if you're here early because of a wattpad glitch
And I can't see comments till tomorrow because of a wattpad glitch so sorry about that too
Anyway, enjoy! ..sigh.
"You're going to have to flag down a black taxi." I said to Aaron eventually as he just nervously looked out into the busy road.
"...You can do that in this country? Why don't you do it? You like people right?"
"What? First of all, no way. And secondly...I really can't talk to people right now..." I explained nervously, crossing my arms in discomfort.
"What am I then, a Llama?"
"Well, I know you don't hate me..."
"Why is a cab driver going to hate you?"
"...You never know..."
"What? We can't both have social anxiety damnit, we'll never get anything done." He complained, but I just side stepped until I was standing behind him.
"We could walk, I mean, we'd get back by tomorrow at least."
He just turned his head and stared at me for a bit, before sighing. "... Just this once." He said before stepping forwards and at least attempting to seem like he wanted the taxi driver's attention.
"Okay, we're walking." He chickened out after a few moments and I giggled before slapping my hand over my mouth. "What was that?" He chuckled.
"I don't know, it was hideous."
"It was the most adorable laugh I've ever heard."
"It was an unintended impersonation of a teenage girl."
"Your whole existence is an unintended impersonation of a teenage girl." He commented.
"Um, excuse me?... True."
"Oh hey, it worked." He said as a taxi pulled up and I made a face before taking a step back.
"Ah ah, no backing out come on." He grabbed my hoodie and dragged me behind him into the car.
I bit my lip and ignored the driver's existence while Aaron talked to them.
"You're acting like you're about to be murdered." He pointed out quietly once he'd finished and I sighed.
"... Do you know what happened with...the court?" I asked and he unlocked his phone.
"Apparently nothing is going to happen. The judge adjourned the court again, but you're eighteen tomorrow so he just said the verdict was... nothing. Nothing is going to change. And he also ranted a bit about how people waste their money and his time according to Chance." He explained and I sighed in relief.
"We won." He smiled and I gave him a half assed smile in response. A bit too bittersweet of a feeling. "... It's your birthday tomorrow." He added on, frowning and I smiled.
"I don't celebrate my birthday." I stated and he frowned at me again.
"You should, you're eighteen, it has to be good. I remember my eighteenth..."
"Well that's bloody good, it was only a year ago." I smirked and he rolled his eyes.
"It was two years ago actually, my twentieth is only in just over a month."
"Oh, cute." I said and he nudged me.
"Stop calling me cute, I'm two years older than you."
"Aww, are you insecure?" I teased and he nodded.
"Undeniably and to a concerning extent, yes." He huffed and I pouted at him, putting my head on his shoulder.
"Why?"
"Why are you insecure?"
"...I'm not..."
"You thought a random stranger was going to hate you." He stated.
"That's not the same thing as disliking being called cute." I chuckled and he rolled his eyes.
"That's not what I meant. Everyone's insecure about different things."
"Ok, I get it. What's wrong with being cute though? You can be both masculine and cute at the same time. It makes you unique." I smiled at him and he blushed.
"You're making me blush." He stated and I laughed.
"You always blush at everything, which is cute." I exclaimed and he managed to become even redder.
"I blush easily okay, emotions are hard to conceal." He defended and I tilted my head.
"That's a blessing in disguise really."
"How so?"
"You can't lie or hide anything from anyone, which sucks for you in the moment. But in the end, it makes your life much easier, filled with less misunderstandings and regret." I explained, and he smiled at me.
"You're cute." He commented and I gave him a look.
"I know." I eventually replied with a teasing smile and he chuckled.
"Everyone's back at the manor at the moment... including... there's a lot of shouting apparently." He explained as he read his phone, and I sighed.
"I don't think I can go anymore." I worried, hugging his arm and burying my head between it and the back of the seat.
"You don't have to, but it'll be better if you do."
"What else can I do?" I asked, unsure if he could hear my muffled voice.
"Stay at a hotel for a few days."
"That sounds tempting...wait,-" I stopped myself and sighed.
"I'd stay with you." He offered and I smiled.
"I want to... But. I need to sort things out with Charlie." I sighed in frustration and moved my head so I was looking out of the front of the car.
"Well, I'll be right beside you, if you need me to." He reassured me quietly and I sighed.
"I want to not be pathetic, but...I think I do." I gripped his arm tighter and frowned.
The idea of being alone right now scares the shit out of me...what's wrong with me....
I grew up on my own, what happened?
"You're not pathetic. I would never survive on my own, I'm not brave like you." He smiled and I rolled my eyes at his parent-like comforting.
I sighed and stared out of the window, still leaning on his arm. He leaned the side of his cheek against the top of my head, and I bit my lip to hide my small smile.
-
"Riley you need to get out of the driveway eventually." Aaron warned when I just stood outside of the gates.
I could see activity at the front of the house, a car was running with its boot door open, and there were various people walking around.
"I can't..." I tried to step back but he grabbed my arm.
"You seemed determined a few minutes ago, what happened? You can do this, I promise." He encouraged and I gave him a look.
"You're not speaking to a child Aaron, you don't need to talk like that."
"Well I speak to children the same way I speak to adults. Treating them equally encourages them to develop more empathy and less superiority issues when they are older." He stated and I raised a brow at him.
"I'll keep that in mind."
"You're deviating." He complained and I snorted.
"Whoah, big fancy word."
"We can wait until it has settled down if you want. But I don't want you getting too cold." He suggested and I sighed.
"I'm fine."
"No you're not... you're shaking."
"That's not why I'm shaking." I stated, frowning at the manor and he sighed.
"You know all of the people here, you don't have to be scared of them."
"I'm not scared of them. It's just...I feel...I feel like something really bad will happen if I go over there." I explained honestly.
"Yeah, I understand, it's called social anxiety." He stated and I shook my head.
"I don't have anxiety."
"You're anxious, it makes sense, you don't have to go over there yet."
"No I'm being pathetic."
"Don't say that, you can't control how you feel."
"They hate me."
"They don't, I promise. It's just your anxiety talking, irrational thought."
"I don't have anxiety!" I huffed. "Although I'm feeling very irrational."
He smiled at me and let my arm go, standing there patiently.
"I'll wait till you're ready."
"I don't feel like I'm going to be ready."
"You need to remind yourself that no one will harm you here, even the ones that have bad intentions, I won't let them get to you." He tried to comfort me but I just shook my head, feeling a pressure build up in my throat.
"I... I can't. I don't know what's wrong with me." I started pathetically crying again and he pulled me into a hug.
"It's fine, it's perfectly fine to feel this way after something like this. I used to get it this bad too."
"But I have never felt this way before, I don't understand. I don't have anxiety." I complained as I tried to stop myself from sobbing.
"Well, maybe now you do." He sighed and hugged me tightly. "Or maybe you always have, you just hid it so well, that even you didn't know you had it."
I frowned and sighed, biting my lip and trying to get control over myself.
"I just want to sleep for a few years." I sighed and pulled away. He smiled before placing his hands on my shoulders and looking me in the eyes.
"You don't owe it to them to talk to them, or push yourself. I can go talk to Charlie if you want, you don't even have to go inside." He suggested and I huffed.
"What sort of friend would I be to Erin if I did that?"
"Okay, I never got to know Erin, so I'm not a true judge, but he can't be such an amazing god of a person that he deserves a friend who will go through hell for him, lose all his family and mentally scar himself forever AND then have to see it through to every detail, you don't have to be the one that sorts this out, you've done enough for him...and you also only knew him for a really short time so..." He said and I frowned.
"It's pathetic, but it's not like I know what you're supposed to do when you have a friend, I only have my instincts to go on." I admitted and he shifted his gaze to the floor.
"...Most people wouldn't even do that for their lover, let alone their friend... you've got some interesting instincts, that's for sure."
"Hmm, and what would you know about what people in love would do?" I teased with a chuckle and he rolled his eyes.
"Have you ever been in love?" He retorted and I paused.
"...You know, I thought I was before, with my ex. But since then I felt something much stronger, and I've realised I don't really know what love is, and maybe the feelings I have for people will be stronger each time, until I find the person I will truly love...it makes me scared actually, it must be a very strong feeling." I admitted for some reason, probably procrastinating from going inside, and he smirked.
"And the worse part, is that love tends to sneak up on you doesn't it, so you can't prepare yourself." He said with an amused smile and I chuckled.
"Okay Mr.A-Demi whatever, you'd really know about that wouldn't you."
"Yeah 80% of my dialogue is quoting books and TV shows." He smiled and I raised a brow.
"You been watching chick flicks or something?" I laughed and he gave me a look.
"No... You're deviating again" he frowned and I shook my head as I laughed at him. "Well I'm glad you're feeling better, are you ready?" He asked and I sighed.
"Not in the slightest, in fact I feel kind of faint." I worried and he frowned. I just smirked and then leaned forwards, resting my forehead against his.
He chuckled slightly as I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. "Is this gunna be our thing now? High forehead instead of high five?" He commented and I snorted.
"I don't think I'd ever find a situation to give you a high five." I retorted.
"Good point."
"I need to do this." I said after a few moments of silence, moving back and looking him in the eyes with determination. He nodded at me and smiled warmly. "...Just...catch me if I fall okay." I added and he snickered.
I took a few determined steps towards the house before feeling a flush of anxiety again. My heartrate started to go up and I gulped nervously.
I jumped when Aaron suddenly placed his and on my shoulder. "How about, we play a game?" He asked as we walked and I gave him a confused look.
"Um, is that appropriate?"
"Just trust me, what about, telling me about your favourite subject?" He persisted and I smiled at him.
"Um, you've asked this before, I don't really have one...And also this sounds like a boring-ass game."
"Why not? Surely you have something you enjoy more than others. Do you like biology, animals and stuff?"
"Sure that part of biology. But the other subjects within it like humans and diseases, not so interesting."
"English?"
"Uh, sure..."
"Surely there was something you did when you were younger. I mean...your room has drawings all over it..."
"Those abominations? Yeah I'm not a future Picasso if that's what you're thinking."
"But you like to create. Surely you've done creative things?"
"Actually, yeah. I used to create book cover designs and do things with this pirated version of Photoshop." I smirked. "Spent too much time on my 10 year old shitty laptop in an internet café during that phase. Ugh, I learned that nothing is more frustrating than a slow computer."
"Graphic design?"
"What?"
"Are you serious? That's what it's called, why don't you take the subject at school?"
"Uh...it was just a pass time. Besides my mother enrolled me into my classes, the ones that were easiest for her to pretend she taught me." I explained and he sighed.
"She really didn't give you an education..." He commented and I frowned.
"No, she didn't. I did. I taught myself online, an online school. Sadly, I don't recall it having graphic design. Besides, that's the last thing on my mind." I huffed and he frowned.
"I think you'd like environmental... studies." He smiled and I gave him a look.
"You mean environmental sciences? You just avoided using the word science didn't you. Thanks." I chuckled and he opened his mouth to defend himself.
"...Y...yeah." he admitted and I laughed. "I mean it's called both."
"I know what to get you for your birthday now." He smiled and I frowned.
"What, like a present?" I questioned and he frowned.
"Yeah, they are kind of a thing for birthdays." He stated and I bit my lip.
"That wouldn't feel right..."
"Yeah you're getting it anyway."
"...What then?"
"A fast computer with Photoshop on it, obviously." He explained and I chuckled.
"'A fast computer'? Sounds like you don't really know what that is."
"And you do?"
"I spent a considerable time of my life working an illegally full time job in a computer shop, I should hope so."
"Another subject you should have enrolled in! And why did you have a full time job?"
"I had to feed myself some way." I said and he glared.
"I'm starting to hate that so called mother of yours." He growled and I blinked at him.
"Okayyy, calm the sudden hostility attack. I happen to value my experiences of looking out for myself. It makes me independent...at least, it did..." I sighed, thinking about how much I've relied on people recently.
"Hey, first of all, you're seventeen still, you're allowed to be dependent and rely on people. Besides, even thirty year olds still have people they rely on, people they deserve to be there for them. You can't feel bad about that, we're a social species, we need relationships. Even elusive introverts like ourselves." He raised his brows for dramatic effect making me smirk.
"Ok..."
He smiled at me before shifting his gaze to infront of us. "Hey Alex."
"Hey, damn you look like shit Riley." Was Alex's first words as I glanced in his direction, I was confused for a moment as I realised we'd already walked all the way to the front of the house.
"I feel like shit." I replied, not quite managing a smile at his trademark obnoxious comments.
He gave me a small twitchy nervous smile before walking away with haste.
"Damn, did I scare him away?"
"You look like someone just died to be honest." Aaron admitted and I smiled. I was not doubting that, my eyes were sore from crying, and my cheeks were still wet. Not to mention the fact I already had bags under my eyes this morning, and the overall pale look I was sporting.
Speaking of which, I really should have eaten something...
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Aaron's sharp sigh. "Great, looks like something vile is headed this way."
In the seconds it took to follow his eyes Matias had already reached us, storming over while been pulled back by a small lady to no avail.
"U-um, Aaron.." I worried while trying to take a few steps back.
"It's fine." He reassured seriously, glaring ahead with crossed arms.
"You little fucking shi-" He didn't get to finish his threatening growl, because his hair was grabbed and pulled down until his face collided with Aaron's lifted knee.
My jaw dropped as I watched him stumble back in shock and Aaron returned to standing beside me.
"What the fuck?!"
"What the hell is going on here?!" Chester growled as he stormed over and Matias lightly dabbed his nose as it started to bleed.
"Approach him again and you'll get a lot worse than that." Aaron threatened as Chester grabbed Matias and harshly pulled him backwards.
He just narrowed his eyes and glared as him as his face began to become smeared in blood. I bit my lip trying to hide my amused smile, but I began shaking again just from seeing him.
I became more than slightly nervous when I realised nearly everyone had now gathered outside, some observing and some shouting and arguing with Matias and the people accompanying him.
Okay, calm down...
I felt my hands become sweaty as the argument seemed to get louder and more chaotic.
"...And Riley, where did you even go?" Someone saying my name caught my attention and I looked up to see Chance glaring at me with Luca and Zac standing next to him with equally accusing looks.
I took a step away from them and glared at Luca, who had a largish red mark on his cheek. The air seemed to have become thin and hard to breathe, and my legs began to feel weak from shaking so much.
"Are you going to say anything?" Luca demanded and I could only manage a shake of my head.
"Just leave him alone, you're stressing him out." Aaron growled and they started arguing between themselves as I tried to catch my breath.
Okay so...I think I'm going to faint.
I put my hand against my head and cringed as I began to feel nauseous and dizzy.
"Um, Aaron." I called quietly and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket to keep myself upright.
He turned to face me, relaxing his features as he noticed my current state.
"I think we should go inside." He suggested quietly as I hyperventilated, taking short useless breaths and panicking slightly.
I shook my head trying to tell him I didn't think I could walk before my knees seemed to give way. He reached out quickly and grabbed my arm, stopping me from impacting harshly with the ground.
I just winced and held my head, the world was spinning as he gently let me sit down on the gravel.
"Riley, you need to breathe." He said calmly as he looked me in the eyes, kneeling next to me.
"Sorry, I-I'm fine." I managed to get out, but sounded like I'd just finished running a fucking marathon.
I jumped as someone quickly knelt down and grabbed my jaw to make me look at them. Luca stared intensely at my eyes before pushing two of his fingers against the side of my neck.
"What's wrong with him?" Nate asked as he stood over us, and I looked away from them.
"His pupils are dilated and he's hyperventilating... He's fine he's just having a little panic attack." Luca sighed, ignoring my attempt of glaring at him.
"Riley." Luca complained when I snatched my arm away from him as he touched me.
"Luca leave him be, you've done enough." Aaron stated calmly, but he was glaring at him in anger. That's a good point, Luca lied to Aaron too, he has every right to hate him as well.
"What I can't j-"
"It's fine I know what to do, Alex used to have panic attacks all of the time." He brushed him off before ignoring him. Meanwhile I was starting to have blurry vision but that's totally fine.
I'm fine.
"I'm sorry." I apologised while looking away from them, and he gently cupped my cheek and turned my head to look him in the eyes.
"It's fine Riley, this is a perfectly natural reaction. It feels horrible but I promise this isn't dangerous, you're just having a subconscious flight or fight response. I need you to slow your breathing okay." He explained and I shook my head.
"I can't." I complained, starting to panic.
"Try breathing in calmly and then out for double that time." He suggested and I grimaced as I concentrated on doing that.
It felt like there wasn't enough air in the first place to do that, but eventually my breaths started to get longer and I began to feel less dizzy.
Aaron smiled at me gently before leaning in and resting our foreheads together again, making me chuckle slightly.
"Since when did they get so close..." Nate commented not quietly enough and I moved my head away, looking over my shoulder in the other direction.
I heard Aaron sigh and stand up, making me close my eyes as a horrible feeling travelled through me.
"Can you stand?" Chester asked after a few moments, and I nodded without looking any of them in the eye.
Surely they're still mad at me...
"Come on." Aaron encouraged and offered his hand to me, I took in a deep breath before grabbing it and standing on shaky legs.
"I feel really achy all of a sudden." I complained and Alex smirked.
"It's because you're muscles were tensed and full of adrenaline...I've never seen someone else have a panic attack before..."
I blushed and sighed. "Sorry, I wasn't planning on being a drama queen." I apologised and Aaron frowned.
"Stop blaming yourself for everything, come on inside, this is the last situation you need to be in right now." Aaron commented, getting a dirty look from Nate as he grabbed my wrist and gently tugged me in the direction of the house.
I wasn't really in the mood to worry about the others, and just winced from the headache I now had as we walked into the house.
Aaron didn't let me go as we walked up the stairs, his grip was tight and I noticed the slight shake of his hands.
"Hey, are you alright?" I asked him as we walked into my room, and he avoided looking at me.
"Sorry, I'm a bit frustrated by this to be honest. I've never really been the bad guy in a situation with my brothers before." He said and I frowned at him.
"Bad? You're not..."
"Did you see the looks I was getting? It's like touching you is against the rules of their stupid game or something." He smirked and I gave him a concerned look. "Sorry, I'm overthinking their reactions, I tend to do that, perks of anxiety." He said with a nervous smile, and a slight shake in his voice.
I smiled, making him tilt his head at me. "What?"
"It's nice to know I'm not the only shaken one here." I explained and he sighed.
"I'm sorry... I'm supposed to be stronger than this, I want to make you feel safer."
"Safer? Says the one with the probably bruised knee from smashing someone in the face with it...I don't even know what that move is called." I chuckled and he smiled.
"I don't know either...I just felt like my fist wasn't hard enough for that particular situation." He explained with a bashful smile.
I sighed, before quickly putting a hand over my nose as I felt coldness trickle down it. I looked at him wide eyed as he frowned and tilted his head in confusion.
"Uh, sorry, excuse me." I mumbled as I rushed into the toilet, sighing in frustration as I leaned over the sink, covering it in fast flowing blood.
"Shit, that's not supposed to happen!" Aaron worried and I grabbed his arm before he rushed out.
"No it's fine, I used to get them a lot when I was tired and stressed, don't worry, ask Charlie if you must." I explained, having to get lots of iron-y blood in my mouth as I talked.
"You should get a tissue and hold your head up though right? I've never seen it that... flowing..." He looked down at the blood with a worried expression, making me smile.
"It'll calm down in a minute or so." I explained, sighing from fatigue, and wishing I was in bed.
He sighed after a few moments of silence, and then gently stroked my hair because he probably didn't know what else to do.
I frowned as I felt a shiver and butterflies in my stomach, then decided to package that thought away, lock it in a case and throw it into a river.
I grabbed a wet wipe that was by the side of the sink and pinched my nose with it after the flow of blood had calmed down, then tilted my head back for a few minutes to make sure it had stopped.
He grimaced at me as I pulled the wipe away, making me chuckle before turning the tap on and washing my face of all the blood.
I washed my mouth out and checked I was clean in the mirror before sighing and smiling at him.
"See it never happened, I need to go talk to Charlie." I said as I stormed past him.
"Ah ah, no you don't." He grabbed my arm and I gave him a confused look. "Chance talked to Charlie already." He explained and I frowned.
"When did he tell you that...I was with you the whole time."
"Were you not listening to our loud argument?" He raised his brow and I blinked.
"Oh, not really... wait, how does he know about that?"
"Chance asked Luca why you hated him so much, and he told him it was because of your promise to Erin." He explained, making me roll my eyes and glare at the wall in distaste.
"He really likes to spread other's secrets doesn't he." I spat and he opened his mouth to probably defend him, but then narrowed his eyes and closed it again.
"I think he's an asshole too at the moment anyway so...Uh, Chance said Charlie won't press charges." He said and I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes.
"No way..."
"Apparently he wasn't really in the mood for talking, being in the middle of kicking out his husband and all, but he said he'd make up for what had happened by letting you have the money." He said with a scowl and I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
"Fine with me..." I sighed, then took a shaky breath in."That's... really relieving." I gave a tired smile and he smiled back before walking over to the door and shutting it.
"I recall you telling me all you wanted to do is sleep for a year so." He said as he walked back over and I chuckled.
"What and you're going to sit in here and watch me huh?" I teased and he rolled his eyes.
"I promised you'd never have to be alone again." He explained as I stepped backwards towards the bed.
"How would you like to know someone's watching you while you sleep?" I smiled, raising a brow as I took off my shoes and he frowned.
"Good point, I can sit outside if that makes you feel saf-errr!" His eyes widened as I pulled him onto the bed with me and I chuckled. "Riley..."
"Stay with me, please." I pleaded, closing my eyes sleepily.
"I'll stay here, don't worry." He said as he tried to stand up straight but I didn't let go of him.
"Noo stay on the bed with me." I huffed.
"I don't think that's a good idea..."
"Oh come on Mr Asexual, what are you afraid of!"
"It's more like what you're afraid of.." He said and I opened my eyes.
"Ugh don't be like that too." I huffed, turning onto my side and pulling him closer by wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Ow my neck...okay I'll stay let me go." He complained and I chuckled.
He sighed as he took off his shoes, before taking off his jacket, and I smiled as I look at his daisy tattoo peaking out from the sleeve of his t-shirt.
"What?" He asked as he sat on the bed slightly, and I huffed before pulling him closer.
"You were the one that promised to not leave me alone now get here." I complained and he smiled at me.
"I'll stay next to you, if you go under the covers, because you're not going to sleep long if you're cold."
I sighed and clicked my tongue, not wanting to get up.
He chuckled and the grabbed my waist. "Come on." He encouraged and I groaned in complaint as he dragged me off of the bed.
"Fine, mother." I huffed as he pulled the covers down and he snickered.
"I've been called worse things." He commented as I climbed back onto the bed and flopped onto the pillow as I let out a heavy breath.
He watched the door as he sat on the edge of the bed again and I growled as I grabbed his arm and pulled it against me.
"Ow." He complained as I hugged it and I pulled my tongue out without opening my eyes.
"Stop resisting... I'm so tired my head hurts." I grumbled and he sighed before finally moving so he was lying next to me and gently pulling the covers over.
I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes in front of me. He smiled and I gave him a genuine toothy grin.
"What?" He chuckled, confused at my reaction.
I'm just really glad and blessed that someone so honest and pure exists.
"Nothing."
I gently stroked the start of his daisy tattoo with my finger tips before relaxing and snuggling against his chest with a smile.
"Sleep well, Sunshine." He said and kissed my forehead gently.
I don't know how I'm able to smile after today, but somehow I don't feel the never ending pit of darkness I usually do when something goes so horrifically wrong like this.
I would be lying if I didn't say my heart was broken, but the body lying next to me was a pretty strong pain killer, I'll tell you that.
-
If you don't remember Aaron has lots of doodle like tattoos on his body, including a large patch of daisies on one of his shoulders.
It's getting so hard to enjoy publishing the chapters guys. I love writing, but wattpad makes publishing such a stressful and unrewarding process. From sending empty chapters to disabling votes for a few hours, it makes me get less and less feedback on my chapters...makes me sad.
Anyway, let's hope the at this publishes with no problems... because I'm outta here
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