Vivian's POV
I woke up with someone's arms around me, my mind was blank. I was about to scream when I saw Sebastian's calm sleeping face next to mine. A little stubble adorned his jaw, which I found extremely sexy.
I reach a hand out and stroke his cheek, which made him pull me closer to him. He mumbled something about building a pizza castle. A chuckle leaves me, but I stop when he starts shifting a little. Thankfully, he goes back to his dream land.
Sebastian was blissfully unaware of my secrets, and I planned to keep it that way. But now I was doubting it. Should I let him in?
But who was he to me? A stranger who had stupidly made a deal with me, without knowing the danger in it.
It was a lie, I knew he cared more than he showed, yet again, it could be an act. A perfect act. How could I even tell him about my demons when he hid his skeletons in the closet? But this wasn't a trade, these were feelings.
Feelings were more dangerous, but I wanted to take the risk.
As much as I try to hide it, I knew. I knew very well that Jason would manipulate the truth and tell him. That scared me, I didn't want Sebastian to think bad about me.
I moved my hand back as if the touch burned me.
I can't feel like this, it makes me vulnerable. So what if he judges me, as if the entire world doesn't.
The reason why the camera's still follow me around is because I was once famous too. My parents had asked me to join modelling at the age of 8 and I didn't like the emptiness of our house and wanting to please my parents, I agreed.
So when I suddenly dropped all my contracts and shows at 18, people were curious. They saw how the clean record, bubbly girl became a scandal herself. And they craved to know the reason.
Also hooking up with a few celebrities for a night increased my demand too. But I didn't want that. Yet I couldn't care enough to change.
But now I find myself back to same place I started from. I feel the things I felt at that time, the same need to please. And that scared me to no end. I didn't want to become like that weak girl again.
I stared at his face like a creep, but I couldn't look away. I don't know for how I long I lay there, still as a rock. Slowly he opened his eyes. His eyes met mine, and then a smile broke out on his face.
"'morning." His morning voice. It was so raspy and rough. I didn't answer. And then as if he remembered something, he pulled me to his chest. "Oh my god, Vivian! You scared me so much, but that doesn't matter. It's all alright now." He stroked my hair. I didn't say anything yet again. He moves away, getting out of the bed. "It's okay if you don't want to talk right now. Go and freshen up. We can leave once you are done."
He leaves the room, after kissing my forehead. I stare at the place he just left from. How could a person be so...vibrant? He was starting to understand me more than anyone. That would mean that soon he will look through me and see the web of lies.
I was always going in circles when it came to Sebastian. At one point I decide I am going to build a big wall against him, and the next I think that I am going to let him in. Frickle-minded, that's what I am.
I get up from the bed. Only then do I realize that my gown is kept on the chair next to a table, and I was dressed in a nice silk nightgown.
The thought of Sebastian changing my clothes, struck my mind. He wasn't that kind of a guy but we were supposed to be engaged. So he had no choice.
I go to the bathroom and take a shower. Once done, I put on the bathrobe and tie it around me tightly. Leaving the bathroom, I see Sebastian sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand.
He looks at me, his eyes darkening a little. I move away a stray damp strand from my face.
"Any news?" I ask, moving towards him.
"Yeah. We leave in ten minutes. And I bought you some clothes that Elenour gave." He points to the table. I nod and take the clothes, going back to the bathroom.
Changing into the flowy blue sundress, I slip on my underwear beneath. Towel drying my hair once again, I put them in a ponytail.
I exit the washroom and see that the room is empty. I grab my phone from the side table and go towards the door. Just as I reach the handle, it turns and Sebastian walks in. I take a hurried step back.
"Hey. Where were you?" I ask.
"Travis asked us to have breakfast with them-"
"I want to go back." I cut him off.
"I know, so I declined. So let's leave." He says. I then see that he had changed into his suit from last night, removing the coat and tie.
He takes my hand in his, leading me out. Turning a corridor, we see Travis and Elenour, a warm smile on their faces.
"Thank you for letting us stay here last night." I say once we reach them.
"Too many empty rooms here anyways, it was no big deal." Elenour says, adding a small chuckle.
"We hoped you would stay here a little longer, joining us for breakfast." Travis says.
"Perhaps another day." I say emptily.
After quick byes, we leave in a car that was waiting for us. Soon the driver pulls up at our hotel.
The ride was silent and I was fine with it. Once the car stopped, Sebastian left the car before me, and came to my side, taking my hand in his. We walk into the hotel with no cameras around. They didn't expect to see us back here so early.
Once we were back in the hotel room, Sebastian made me sit on the couch and went in the room and changed into some nice clothes. For the next fifteen minutes I put on different songs. Our suite had this thing with bluetooth speakers in the hall with my phone connected to it. Sebastian walks to the kitchen.
Then Sebastian came out of the kitchen, handing me a bowl of pasta. I take it, and set it on the cusion on my lap. He went in the kitchen again, returning with another bowl of the same food. He sat next to me, urging me to eat.
"Vivian, you need to eat, to take your medicine."
"The follow ups." I mumble.
"What?" He asks.
"I was feeling nausetic because I didn't take the follow ups. She prescribed me some vitamins, along with the medicine. I didn't take them from the start." I explain. He looked angry for a minute and then regained his posture.
"And you didn't think I should know. Vivian, please stop doing this to yourself. You know that no matter how much I try, this recovery will only happen if you want. So I beg of you to consider your health." He says, then stops to take a breath. He sighs and continues. "Eat now anyways."
He goes back to eating his food. I grab the fork from my bowl and poke some pasta. Putting it in my mouth, my only though was that I am doing this for him. He needs to think that I have hope.
Only when I recover will he leave. He needs to leave so that he is safe. Now my only motive is to make him think that I am trying, which wasn't hard seeing that I was.
He had no idea how one starts thinking when they have been critised their whole life.
I had always been the one changing, the one who tried to impress everyone.
You are wothless.
You are selfish.
And most of all
You are incapable of being loved.
Those words were etched in my brain. No matter how much the world can change, this will never change.
"Jason was there." I start. "He attacked me."
Sebastian turns to me so fast that I was scared that his neck would snap. The anger in his eyes was visible. It was storm brewing in those blue eyes of his.
"Vi-"
"He held my wrist from behind, his intentions were clear. He dragged me to a corner, no one noticed. He was drunk, so when I pushed him, his grip became lose. I ran from there. And you know the rest." I take another forkful of pasta, putting it in my mouth.
He sets his bowl on the table, turning fully towards me. "I will kill him." He growls.
"Yeah, and then spend the rest of your life in jail." I say, setting my bowl down too. "Don't act with your heart. Use your brain. He is very poweful. There is a reason he walks around freely." I saw the last sentence with a distaste.
"Walk around freely?" He looks at me, confused. If I should say anything, I should say it now.
"The Quinn's and my family were friends since a long time. Jason grand father knew my grandfather, my father is friends with his father. So Bennet, Jason and I were very close. But since Bennet was a older than us, Jason and I grew close. Ray and Dustin were best friends since childhood and I was an usual memeber, but Jason spent more time with me. Jason was a very shy kid. Imagine this Jason, as a lanky boy with braces." I let out a hollow laugh.
Sebastian's eyes never left mine. His hand rested over mine.
"I was never the rebellious child, I wanted my parents to be proud of me. So I did whatever they asked me to. I joined modelling at the age of 8, and tried to study as much as I could. But my mom couldn't get over her fashion line and my dad never spent much time away from his office. Bennet and I drifted apart. So I only had Jason to lean on to. So for years we were as close as best friends get. Only for him, he thought that I liked him. And he let his obsession with me grow. He made me feel as if I was nothing without him, and I believed him. I thought that he was the closest that I had to family and I couldn't lose him."
Sebastian's grip tightened a little, amd he pulled me to his chest. I lay my head on his head, with his chin on my head.
"I declined him when he asked me out for the first time. It was when we were 16. For the next two years, Jason grew impatient, he just wouldn't understand that I only saw him as a friend. He made me distant from my friemds at school, and made me only spend time with him. And then on my 18th birthday, my family had a big party for me. I was shy of all the people there, so I set off to the backyard. Jason followed. I don't know what it was but when I once again rejected him, something snapped. He physically assualted me."
"Moró,-" Sebastian started. But I knew if I stopped then I would never be able to tell him the truth.
"And then as if nothing happened, he left. I somehow pulled myself together and ran back to my room. That night I cried as I tend to all the broken peices of my existance. After thinking a lot, I told my parenst about it the next week. They didn't believe me. They trusted Jason more than me. Bennet knew that I was saying the truth, yet he didn't say anything. A few months later I left my house and joined college and started living in a dorm. And now here I am." I finish. Sebastian doesn't say anything for a long time.
Though his hand kept stroking my thigh. He was deep in thought, yet from time to time he kept shaking in anger.
"There is a reason why Dustin and Ray didn't break Jason's face. I asked them not to." I try to get my point across.
"How dare he touch you?" He said in such a low voice, but the anger was radiating off of him.
"I know you were curious about my behaviour with my family. It's not that I gave up on them just like that. I gave them chances, yet the only thing they cared about was their reputation-"
"You don't need to explain your action, agapi mou." He strokes my hair, kissing my head.
"Let's go sight seeing. I am know you haven't been to London yet. Get dressed and we will leave." I tell him, trying to get up, but he wraps his arms aroung my waist. We were laying on the couch, the bowls of foodlong forgotten.
"Sleep." He tells me, his voice sleepy. I then think of what he went through last night.
Soon his heartbeat went rhythemic. I lay there, not knowing what to do. Sleep was never easy for my in the past 4 years. I was way too comfortable to leave, not that his hold would let me.
So I spent the rest of the morning in his arms, while Sebastian slept. He kept mumbling about chocking someone with ice cream waffles.
I definately need to ask him about these weird food dreams.
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A/N: Hey guys, did you like this chapter? Also, do u hate Jason more. Because trust me I want to kill him.
Love, Milk
xoxo