February, 13, 2014
Dear Jack,
It's been another week; making it seven weeks since you've been gone, and since the last time I've seen you...
My father asked me to go shopping with him today, silently yet eagerly begging me to leave my bedroom. I was hesitant at first, and I was worried that I would run into people from school.. but in the end, I agreed, knowing damn well I've needed to get out of the house.
When we got into the car, he was kind enough to ask me as to whether I was doing okay or not. I was honest with him, and told him no. I could tell that it hurt him. I knew he wasn't happy about always being away from home so much because of work. I could see it in his eyes.
Do you want to know what he said after I told him that I wasn't okay?
He sighed, and then he had told me that I should be occupying my time with my friends, at least trying to rid you from my mind, even if it is for only a few hours. But I just laughed at him, and told him that people we're inscrutiating villains. And I had once again had to inform him that I no longer have any friends, nor did to be around anyone. Not because you all left, but because I dread going through the pain of losing anyone ever again.
It's a hard thing being away from you, especially for this long. More so because I crave to be with you, I crave to be in your arms again. I want you to be around and show me your foolish side like you have done so many times before. I want you to return to my life, and show me the inner depths of who you are. I want you to come back. I miss how my life had once been. I was almost always cheery when you were around, and I know you felt the same because I could see your happiness emit from you each living moment we were with each other. I long to hear the sound of your laughter ring through my ears. I crave the feeling of your delicate lips against mine. I miss the smirk you used to get when we would be mischievous and live as if there was no tomorrow.
I want you. Not just bits of you, but all of you.
The feeling of being away from you is in most ways, unbearable, especially today because the fact that tomorrow is Valentine's Day continues to torture my thoughts. It's driving me insane because I won't be spending it with you, and in the back of my mind, I worry that you may spend it with someone else...
Although though you won't be spending valentines day with me, I still hope that you have an enjoyable day, even if you do spend it with someone else because you deserve it. And more importantly, you deserve to feel special.
Yours truly,
Ashley