[ the title has zero originality ( you don't have to know why or how ) but eh; ]
Why HQ is in jail:
Daichi: child abuse because he was ordering hinata and doubling training as punishment for being absent for a week ( idk if they do this bc as far as i know, sports clubs definitely do this )
Suga: framed for food poisoning
Asahi: the police found drugs in his bag which pranksters put in there and his appearance didn't help
Noya: rammed a motorcycle into an innocent electrical post right after getting a driver's licence ( did i spell licence right )
Tanaka: motorcycle #2
Ennoshita: shoplifting
Narita: was found drunk-talking some kid in a park somewhere ( because he got a girl but the girl dumped him, but that wasn't the cause of his drunkenness )
Kinoshita: wasn't a criminal, but kissed narita on the lips when he was complaining about the girl so is technically a criminal for driving narita to go drink
Kageyama: for making a whole nursery cry
Hinata: accidentally burning a parrot alive ( wait what )
Tsukishima: for pushing his brother down the stairs infront of a catholic church ( i wasn't arrested when i did this but oh well, i was 5 )
Yamaguchi: picking flowers ( does anyone remember the powerpuff girls, not the ppgz, episode where bubbles-- //slapped// )
Oikawa: for being pretty ( I'm sorry i can't think of anything )
Iwaizumi: for being with a pretty human ( i swear this is the last )
Kuroo: for pranking the police station by leaving a beeping bag infront of their building pretending it was a bomb
Kenma: is the cop
Yaku: scamming an insurance company
Lev: because he didn't read a sign in the mall that said "slippery when wet", so he slipped and accidentally toppled a €876,543 thing and can't pay
Akaashi: rushing into a coffin without paying and setting the funeral rights ( waht )
Bokuto: eat and run ( hoe no )
Ushijima: eat and run #2 ( this is why i said no )
Tendou: attempted to assassinate the prime minister of japan because he wanted to "be like his favorite anime character"
Semi: jumped infront of a train to go commit suicide but the train was severely damaged and he didn't even get one scratch
( i have a beach headcanon in the style of the "bears and tents" and "it started with a truth omg" chapters, but it sucks ass sooo much so it's gonna take a while to release unfortunately ;-; )