I never really thought about my body shape before I turned sixteen years old. When I did start noticing my body shape,I liked it. I liked how my breasts were growing and my waist was kind of small with wide hips. I didn't worry about my thighs too much knowing they would be covered most of the time anyways. I liked to run my hands down my sides and feel the difference between my waist and hips,cup my breasts in my hands when I was alone.
I was by no means the skinny type with a tiny waist and large breasts. I had a little belly fat (I like chocolate, sue me) and a few months after I turned sixteen I started noticing things.
My boobs were different. One of them seemed to be growing differently,faster. I was a 34DD at the time and started to panic. I mean, I knew my chest was going to be big,my mother had to wear a special bra to help her back pain but I didn't want it to be uneven. It was only a small difference and I knew it might not be a big deal to others but it was to me.
I liked how my boobs looked but I did not like them being uneven. I noticed that if I cupped them,one would feel different,lighter and I didn't like it. Symmetry was considered pretty without us even realising it and now my body was uneven,imbalanced. I stopped paying attention to my body, ashamed of it. I heard stories of women with asymmetrical breasts and how they said it was very common but I still felt like I was a disappointment.
I was waiting for Nate one day after school, a male stood a few feet away,watching and waiting until Nate arrived so he could leave. A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped. I recognized Nates scent and instantly relaxed.
"Sorry I wasn't here,I thought I scented my mate." I nodded at him and smiled.
"It's okay, I was supervised" It always confused me as to why we needed to constantly be watched. I mean, many females were short. Well shortish. I had only seen a handful of tall females and I had been awed by them, some were even taller than the males! I couldn't help but think of it as a small victory,even if they couldn't help it.
Nate growled under his breath at me" Niamh,look at me" I looked at him "You do not need to be under constant scrutiny. It's ridiculous. If I found my mate and she was being watched by another man I would be furious." his cheeks were flushed in anger and I stared at him in surprise. He had just openly talked against the rules which could result in him being whipped by the Alpha.
I was kind of surprised at his anger. It wasn't that big of a deal so why was he getting so angry.
"I, um, okay?" He sighed and started walking. I followed behind him silently.
"I scented my mate. But she got away. It was like she was running from me." He balled his fists and I eyed it nervously. Angry males were bad. Angry males who felt that their mate had betrayed them were even worse.I knew he was hiding something from me but didn't push, afraid his control would snap.
I thought about this as I looked at Nate the next day.
He was seated next to his mate,Dimitri, and was looking at the ground. There were bruises around his neck. My chest tightened and I thought I might be sick. He was my older brother, he was gentle and kind and so unlike many males. He would look at my father emotionlessly when he talked about how he should treat his mate when he finds her. He wouldn't weigh in when my fathers friends spoke of how women were born to serve them. Now,now he's going to be beaten into submission.
I looked away and bit my lip. Oh God. Dom had told me that he forbade anybody from using any of their abilities around me. I had raised my eyebrows at the "forbade" part but didn't comment on it. I was comfortable with my thoughts but knew when to stop,just in case. Dominic was rubbing lazy circles into my thighs as we sat outside. There was a gentle wind and the trees surrounding us stood tall and proud. I loved the feel of the grass between my fingers,the smell of outdoors.
I always considered myself average when it came to being an outdoors person. I loved nature but I also loved being inside. I loved sitting in the rain or walking in it but hated when it rained and I had to be somewhere. Sometimes,Nate would bring me outside when it rained and we would walk around, feeling with the rain covering us. We were soaked to the bone after a few minutes and we would be sneezing for the next few days but it was worth it.
He would sneak us out when my father was occupied. It was always a very special treat and I loved every second of it. I glanced at Nate again. He was sitting next to his mate quietly but,as if sensing my gaze,looked up at me. Our eyes mate and he smiled. He didn't look ashamed or embarrassed about his position,more tentative. Confused. He grew up where the females were submissive and the males completely dominant. He was not taught how to behave, only how to make sure his mate behaved. He jumped slightly and turned his head to look at his mate. He was pulled closer into his mates side and stayed there.
I looked over at my mate who was texting on his phone. His face was serious, as it always was when he had to deal with business. I was in between his legs,my back resting against his chest. I sighed and closed my eyes. I was starting to feel the need to be constantly near my mate. Stronger than before. I always felt empty without him being near but now? Now it was like my entire body physically needed him touching me every second of every day to live. I knew this was a sign my heat was near,a few days at most. I learned that the first heat was about a week long. The others would be a few days,some would be a week but not many.
I shifted where I sat,very aware of what was between his legs. The sound of him texting stopped and I was pulled closer. He rubbed his nose along my shoulder up my neck and stopped at my jaw. He nipped the skin there and growled. I purred and pressed myself even further into him.
I suddenly came back to reality. Did I just purr? My face reddened. Oh my God.
Dom groaned "If you keep making them sexy sounds I will drag you back up to the room" he threatened. I nodded quickly,my face still bright red.
A deep chuckle was heard "Man,she really has you wrapped around her little finger now doesn't she?" his voice was smooth,almost sultry. The vampire. The thought of a Lycan and Vampire mating was hard to imagine. A Lycan and a Vampire mating and producing a child? It was impossible to wrap my head around the idea. I remember seeing him and his mate. I knew he was someone to not be fucked with.
"Watch it" growled Dom. He chuckled again. I could hear him walk closer,not close enough that Dominic would see him as a threat, and sat down. He whistled and the sound of footsteps were heard,stopping in front of him before the person was pulled down beside him. Their scents were mixed. Mates. Did he whistle her over? I thought of Dominic doing that and although the idea was off putting,I knew I would come running.
They began to talk about packs and people that needed to be dealt with, I tuned them out not really wanting to hear what they were saying. However,when I heard a family friends name mentioned, I began to listen.
"...openly disrespecting the Alpha." the vampire said. "The Alpha wants us to step in. He feels people are not as respectable as they should be since he was mated and had a pup." He almost sounded as if he was asking permission. I knew Lycans did not have Alphas or ranks,so why was he asking my mate? Dom began twirling a piece of my hair between his fingers. I was tense, waiting for his response.
"When do you plan on the punishment?" I froze. He was going to go?
"Tomorrow,maybe leave tonight"
"O.K. we'll leave tonight and be back by Tuesday." Dom said,he scooped me up and stood,without wavering."We'll meet you by the cars at 7p.m." With that he walked away.
"Are you like the top dog or something?" My brows were furrowed as I looked at him. He chuckled and shook his head.
"Lycans don't have any ranks,remember?"
"That doesn't mean there isn't ,like, an unspoken rank. You know,social ranks." he laughed at this and my lips twitched.
"I guess I am high up on the social ranks" he smirked down at me and I rolled my eyes. Cocky bastard. He laughed again,louder this time. I giggled looking at him delighted. I was very proud that I was the one causing him to laugh. We walked in silence until we arrived at the kitchen. He adjusted me so I was on his hip.
I squirmed trying to get down. I was not a child.He squeezed my hip roughly ceasing all movement from me.
"Where are my mother and father?" I asked. I was tracing the tattoos that snaked around his arms. It was a tree,the branches were dark and sinister.
"They're in their room." he said shortly. I nodded not knowing what to say without pushing him too much. He made scrambled eggs and beans and bacon. I blinked at it.
"Are they Quorn rashers?" I asked incredulously.
"Well you are vegetarian and so I assumed you might like some 'rashers' that you could actually eat" I blushed as he said rashers.
"No need to slag me" I grumbled. He raised an eyebrow at me before sitting down at the counter,me on his lap.
"Eat up. We'll pack a small bag before leaving" He began to feed me. I chewed a couple of times before swallowing.
"Am I going with you?"
"Yes. Last time I left without you,you were hit and nearly raped by another man" He was gripping the fork tightly,his knuckles turning white. The hand that was on my thighs grip was getting stronger and I winced. He relaxed and rubbed soothing circles where he had squeezed. The pain was gone instantly. He finished feeding me,his food was also gone and I tried not to look into it too much.
After packing our bags,well more like he packed and I sat on the bed trying to help but being told to sit,we walked out to the cars where the vampire and his mate were. She was sitting on the ground by his feet and had on a two pieces of cloth. I blinked. Her clothing resembled the clothes that slaves wore in ancient Rome. I couldn't even imagine Dominic letting me outside in anything that even revealed my arms.
Dominic nodded and pulled me over to one of the jeeps and sat in the drivers seat. I was put into the passenger seat and the belt was buckled for me. I bit my tongue and remained silent. He started driving leaving his hand on my thigh.
"How far is my old town from here?" I asked. The drive from his home to my town was about an hour or two,but I had no idea how long it would be from his parents home.
"A few hours,five at most" I nodded and remained silent. I was kind of tired and thought about sleeping in about an hour or two.
He left the radio off and I looked out the window. We were driving past a forest. I found the view captivating and continued to look out until I got bored and decided to sleep.
I tried for about ten minutes before getting frustrated and giving up. I groaned and sat up annoyed. He patted my thigh.
"There,there" I gritted my teeth and glared at him.
"I'm not a fucking dog" I snapped. I was starting to get very pissed off at everything and glared out the window. The hand on my thigh tightened painfully.
"Look at me." His voice was dark and full of so much authority that I obeyed. His eyes were narrowed as they looked at me "You are not allowed to speak to me like that and you are not allowed,under any circumstances allowed to curse. Am I understood?" I nodded without looking away. His eyes were changing from electric blue to normal every few seconds. "I will not be disrespected by my mate. I haven't had to train or punish you so far but I will not hesitate to do so"
"I understand"I said through clenched teeth. He nodded still looking at me.
"Behave." was all he said before turning around to face the road again. I stayed silent,fuming. Who did he think I was? A dog? I was his mate,not his doormat. Just because I am biologically a female does not mean I am to serve every fucking male. I rubbed my temples,frustration building up inside me. If a woman was taken advantage of, IT WAS NOT HER FAULT! How dare anybody said that they had the right to do something simply because they felt like she had teased them.
It is not the womans fault. She could walk around in nothing but lace underwear and it would be her fault if a man raped her. She had the right to say no whenever she wanted to.
The headache grew worse and I closed my eyes. I usually had these thoughts when I was alone and had time to actually think,but it seemed like years of anger and frustration were being thrown at me all at once.
My heat.
The days leading up to a females heat were usually filled with strong emotions and irregular mood swings.
Fantastic.
I just needed to try and keep my emotions in check while in front of other people and then when Dominic and I go back I will tell him what I am feeling so he knows why I am being like this and-
I stopped. I didn't have to explain myself to him. I am a strong woman. I will not break and I can take whatever he throws at me. Literally. With this in mind,I glared at him.
My glare was cut short when I looked over at him. His jaw was clenched and his hands were holding onto the wheel tightly. His muscles bulged in his arms and his t-shirt clung to his chest. My mouth watered.
Damn.
I squirmed feeling heat pool in between my legs. He stiffened and sniffed the air. His eyes flashed as he looked at me and I couldn't bring myself to look away. All thoughts of being strong and refusing to break fled my mind as I looked at him. I licked my lips,imagining the taste of him on my lips. Feeling his tip hit the back of my throat.
He growled and I shivered. Good God help me.
"Go to sleep. I plan on arriving at your old pack house at 10.30 and if you keep looking at me like that I will be forced to pull over" he paused,clenching his jaw "Sleep". I was out in a second.
****
I woke up to my mate lifting me up. I blinked groggily. It was dark out,the stars winking down at us as they shone brightly in the night sky. The stars were always very bright here and I missed it. I used to dream of falling asleep underneath them,like they would watch over me and protect me from any threats.
He walked up the steps and it was only then that I realised we were not alone. My old Alpha stood at the door,his mate tucked into his side. I gasped seeing her.
The light from the inside bathed her in a golden glow,making her look radiant. Her hair was straight and neat,she wore a long flowing dress and boots. A thick cardigan covered her arms. I looked at her and she smiled at me,her eyes twinkling. She looked happy next to her mate,genuinely happy. I smiled back at her softly,my eyes filling with tears.
I sniffed and snuggled into my mates chest,relishing in the warmth and comfort he provided. His arms tightened around me and I smiled. Again. We were escorted to our room and left alone. I tried to look over Doms shoulder but he just held me tight,refusing to let me see the retreating couple. I sighed and gave up opting for looking at our room.
There was a double bed with golden covers and more pillows than necessary. A plush black carpet was beneath our feet and a giant window was directly opposite the bed. The covers were drawn slightly,leaving room for the moon and stars to shine into the room. I sighed again and closed my eyes. I was as close to my old home as I was going to get. I was placed onto the bed and the covers were pulled up to my shoulders.
At some point,my clothes had been taken off and I was put into a pair of long sleeved pyjamas. Dominic wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head. I smiled and was soon fast asleep. Again.