Isabella
After a really rough week Anthony drags me out of the house for an nice meal and some music. For one night I get away from being a mom and a dad and a sister and a financial consultant and I can just be free.
Life has been... less than ideal. After getting Nick home form the hospital he's been complaining that his heart hurts. They gave him some pain pills on top of the three he already takes every day but it helps so I won't be one to complain. But it's been a transition to get him back home and to school while keeping a close eye on him. He hates it but that's the way it has to be until I get that phone call.
As for tonight, Anthony took me out to a small restaurant with live entertainment. It's was cute and chill and everything I needed in a time like this. I sit in my white dress listening to the musician play on the piano and softly sing into the microphone. The lights were dim but I thought it was relaxing. I look across the table and catch Anthony's glance. His brown eyes shining in this dark place. He sends me a sweet smile that sends chills down my spine.
"You look amazing" he starts.
"Thank you, you look pretty great youreself" I compliment.
"So, how are you holding up" he asks.
"It's been rough. My grandparents keep insisting that we or at least Nicky comes to live with them so they can take care of him. But I couldn't pull him away from here, he would rather his heart give out than have to leave" I explain.
"They can't take him from you, can they" he wonders.
"Legally no. But if I can't afford to take care of him or he doesn't start getting better under my care then they can appeal to a judge" I sigh.
"They wouldn't do that" he claims.
"They would. They think they know him, us. Since my dad passed they've been hounding me to give him up. I was only twenty at the time and they didn't think I could take care of myself let alone a kid with heart problems. They think I'm some kid who doesn't know what Nicky needs, and they think he needs them" I shrug.
"Well they know nothing about anything. Because I've never seen a little kid so attached to someone before in my life. I might be his favorite player but you're his hero. He's still alive today because of your love for him. No one else" he insists. I look at him as he waits for me to say something. His chocolate brown eyes scanning me to make sure I understood what he said. And I did.
"Thank you" I say and he cocks his head to the side.
"For what" he wonders.
"You're the first person who sees what I see. Just because my brother shouldn't have lived this long doesn't mean I shouldn't want more for him. I see more in his life and you do too. Thank you for understanding why I do the things I do. For listening to my cries for help and actually doing something to about it. It means the world to me. I don't feel like crying every night anymore. I'm excited to go to bed because I know that when I wake up I get to talk to you and that is the best feeling in the world" I explain.
"I love-" he starts but stops when the waiter places our food on the table. He lets out a loud sigh and I kind of felt bad that he got cut off... again.
We eat our food and enjoy a light dinner conversation. Baseball was almost over and it's kind of sad but it was obvious they weren't going to be in the post season, that's for sure. But not unusual.
Eventually the food is gone and we switched over to water so at least one of us can drive home. I start to tap my finger on my glass and Anthony watches me closely.
"Would you like to dance" he asks and I smile.
"I would love to" I admit.
He comes over and offers a hand helping me out of my seat. He pulls me to the dance floor and the piano continues to play. The saxophone joins in as Anthony pulls me to his chest. He wraps his large arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. He pulls me in closer so our bodies were pressed together. I look up at him as he stares down on me, just silently communicating with each other.
The singer begins to sing and I felt like it was just him and I in this place. We sway slowly as the music fills our head.
"I don't know
But I think I may be fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I know you better
I am trying, not to tell you
But I want to,
I'm scared of what you'll say
And so I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head."
"I wish that for once I could just say what's on my mind" he starts and I furrow my eyebrows.
"What do you mean" I wonder.
"I... I can't explain it. All these words and feelings are jumbled up in my head and I can't get them out. I can't express them to you no matter how bad I want to. It's frustrating" he huffs.
"Wow, you're really upset" I notice.
"I'm sorry... I just. I don't know" he sighs. I bring my hand up and softly caress his cheek. He looks down with those kind deep brown eyes and I feel like I knew what he wanted to say, but I wasn't sure. I didn't want to say it because if it wasn't true then I could ruin everything.
Does he love me? Do I love him?
All of the sudden I understood what he meant. I too get flustered and start to search his face for some answers. The next second he presses his lips to mine with so much passion. He towers over me causing me to arch my back as he pulls me in even more. It was then any doubt flew out of my head. I loved this man with all of my heart and now it's as clear as day.
"I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me."
"I love you" he whispers on my lips and I slowly open my eyes to see he was already looking at me.
"I love you too" I smile and he laughs a little.
"You have no idea how amazing that sounds" he admits.
"Whys that" I ask.
"Because I've loved you since the first day I laid eyes on you. You were everything I was looking for in one convenient package and I knew it from the first time I saw you. You were going to change my life and you've done so much more than that. And I could never tell you that because every time I tried to something came up. Hell I tried to say it like a hour ago and I couldn't. But now that I did and you said it back, I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders" he admits.
"I didn't know you felt that way" I insist.
"I didn't know how to tell you" he defends.
"Oh, I just can't take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spilling out
I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you."
He kisses me once more before the song ends and I couldn't help but feel the butterflies going around in my stomach. He brushes a piece a hair out of my face as we remain impossibly close. In that moment there was no place I would rather be.