Isabella
"You should date anthony" Nicholas states as we sit at the dinner table.
We just got back from a great game between the Cubs and the Pirates and it was a fun one. We won in extras and everyone went home pretty happy. It was a little late to be eating dinner but I never said I was a good parent. Just a kick ass sister.
Anthony got called up a little under two weeks ago and we've flirted some but nothing more. We usually just talk to each other through a net and listen to my brother go on and on about baseball. After Anthony asking a bunch of times I finally gave him my number yesterday but he hasn't contacted me yet. I mean we see each other every day there's a home game so no real reason for him to text me.
"Why should I date Anthony" I ask and he shrugs.
"He's cool" he claims.
"A lot of people are cool, and I'm not going to date them" I defend.
"I don't know. I just want you to be happy and he can make you happy. He makes me happy" he claims.
"You make me happy" I smile.
"I know that, but I know you want someone else besides just me and Aunt Ciara. I think he can help you" he insist.
"Help me with what" I wonder.
"Whatever makes you cry at night" he says and I stop eating. I had no clue he could hear that. I drop my fork and wipe my mouth off with the napkin in my lap.
"I need a moment" I say excusing myself from the table and going outside to the deck. I sit out on the porch under the stars and let out a long sigh. I look up into the sky and sniffle a little. Out here all my problems seem so small, it's so beautiful. I hear the door open and my brother appears next to me. He wraps my arm around him and leans into my side.
"I love you" he reminds me.
"I love you too Nick. Always" I assure him.
We sit there for a little just watching time fly by before it was time to come in. We go inside and I tuck him for bed. We pray together and I close the door behind me after I leave. I clean up dinner and wash dishes before crawling into bed. I lay there and stare at the ceiling trying to figure out what was going to happen next. It was July and school was about to start up. I was going to finish my one semester so I can graduate and get my degree. Nick was about to start school for the first time and I wasn't sure what happens after that. I learned that if we try to make these plans, when they fail it hurts that much more. So I usually just let life happen and try to stay out of the way. But I can't have a normal life, and it sucks.
My phone starts ringing next to me and I thought it was my best friend Ciara but I see a number I don't know. I ignore it at first but they call again. It wasn't until the third time I give in and answer.
"Are you avoiding me" a voice says and I smile.
"I didn't know it was you" I defend and he laughs.
"Well I didn't know if you wanted me to call you" Anthony claims.
"I didn't know I wanted you to call me" I admit.
"So you did want me to call..." he trails off and I can just see him smirking.
"I wouldn't hate it" I admit.
"So what are you doing right now" he finally asks.
"I just put Nicky to bed. He already has his Rizzo jersey and shorts out for tomorrow" I laugh.
"Of course. Is he excited to start school soon" he asks.
"Yes and no. This is the first time I won't be attached at his hip so he hates leaving as much as I hate him going, but I know he'll be fine. He loves talking to people, as you've probably figured out, and it'll be nice that he gets to make some friends" I admit.
"Look at you being all positive" he says.
"I'm always positive" I defend.
"Always" he asks.
"As much as I allow myself to be" I clairfy.
"Want to talk about it" he asks and I pause. Do I?
"Not on the phone" I admit.
"Wanna meet somewhere" he asks and I look at the clock. It was only 9 and I didn't have any place to be.
"Let me see if my friend can stay with Nick then I can meet you somewhere" I say.
"Okay, what about somewhere subtle and quiet, we can meet at the fountain in grant park" he suggests.
"That's good. How about in a hour" I ask.
"I can do that, see you then" he says and I hang up. I run my hands down my face because I didn't want to do this. But I needed to vent to someone and he was someone.
My friend comes over quickly and after freaking out for a second she lets me go. I drive over to the park and see Anthony sitting on the fountain. I walk over and sit next to him before bumping into his shoulder slightly so he knows it's me. This is the first time we've seen each other and it not be from behind a net.
"Hey" he says and I giggle.
"Hi" I reply.
"This shouldn't be weird, right" he asks.
"Yeah" I nod.
"I do have to admit you look a lot cuter without black lines going across your face" he jokes and I shake my head.
"Is that's your way of complimenting me" I ask.
"I just made it weird didn't I" he asks.
"No, I thought it was cute" I admit and he smiles.
"So, what's on your mind" he asks turning to me.
"Okay... so I've never told anyone besides my best friend this and I don't know why I'm telling you but Nicky really loves you and you seem like you want to be a part of his life" I say.
"I do. That kid is amazing. I can't explain it" he says.
"I can, it's because that kid is a miracle. My mom went into the pregnancy knowing it was her or him. She was sick and he was too but she didn't want anyone to worry. So she didn't tell anyone what was really going on, not even my dad. Then the day comes and he's born, he was sick but he was alive. But she died right after he was born and her last wish was that Nick gets to live on.
As for him, he was born with a deadly heart condition. He has congenital heart failure which is a birth defect. He knows he does but he doesn't understand how bad it is. It's really bad, and if he's not careful his heart can give out and he will pass away before he's a teenager. Every time he goes to bed I have this intense fear that he won't wake up. Every time he coughs it strains his heart and I know that it's coming closer to the time that I need to get something done for him. I'm just so out of options at this point.
The house we live in is more than paid for, my mom and dad has us set for life as far as housing and spending money. But we don't have health insurance. I didn't get my degree so I haven't been able to get a job that can help him and I'm so afraid I'm going to run out of time. He's going to need a new heart and I won't be able to give it to him. I love that little boy so much. He is such a ray of sunshine and this innocent little ball of fire who just wants to play baseball, but he can't. He knows he can't and it kills him. It's killing me too" I sigh. Anthony places a finger under my chin and pulls my face up so I have to look into his eyes. I see he was crying too and for some reason that broke my heart. He wipes away one of my tears as I sniffle. He softly caresses my cheek as we just stare at each other.
"You... are so strong" he says.
"That's little boy is my strength" I say.
"I want to help him" he says.
"You can't" I say.
"Why not" he asks.
"He needs a new heart... you can't give him your heart" I say. Anthony lets my face go and looks at me and just stares. I wasn't sure what he's thinking but something in me needed to know.
"We're going to find him a heart" he claims.
"How" I ask.
"I... I don't know. I really don't. But that little boy doesn't deserve to die, not yet. He should be able to play baseball and play with his friends and be a kid. He shouldn't be worried about dying" he claims.
"He's not. It's the last thing on his mind but it's the first thing in mine. I've lost everyone, everyone who has ever loved me. I can't lose him too" I cry.
"We won't. We're going to save him. I promise."