Hi everybody :) I am back with a new chapter! Thank you guys for waiting. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me. It has been pretty tough lately, I am not going to lie, but I am optimistic that everything will work out and be okay :) I am SO excited because I have family coming from Maryland and I miss them SO bad. Anyways, I just hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! I loved writing it (as always) and I hope you enjoy it just as much. I also hope you know how loved and how important you are. xo, Hannah <3
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CHAPTER 28: Layla awoke slowly, wondering what had disturbed her sleep. She blinked the residual haziness of sleep from her eyes and took in a deep breath, listening.
There it was again.
Turning her head, she realized with a start that what had woken her was Julian.
He thrashed in his sleep, mumbling under his breath as a sheen of sweat coated his forehead. Her lips parted in surprise as she watched him, terror written across his face as plain as the small motes of dust that floated in a stream of milky moonlight streaming in through the window.
All this time that he had been staying here and all this time they had been in the same bed together, not once had she seen him have a nightmare. If anyone was having a nightmare it was usually her or Hazel. His hands tightened at his sides, clenching and unclenching as if he could fight the demons he went to war with in his nightmares with his fists.
Finally, Layla couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take hearing his cries.
She never thought she was that much of a deep sleeper, but how could this be the only time he had a nightmare without her noticing? Quietly, she scooted closer, hovering above him to take his face in her hands, smoothing her thumbs across his cheeks.
"Julian, sweetie, I'm here. You're okay. You're okay." She cooed softly. "It's just a nightmare, you are okay, Julian."
Suddenly his eyes flew open, but he wasn't really seeing her. She let out a yelp as she found herself flipped over, hands restrained above her head with a tight and bruising grip.
"Julian!" She cried as he snarled like a terrified dog trying to defend himself.
She hit at his shoulders, flashbacks shooting through her mind like individual strikes of lightning.
Mason above her, hands around her throat.
She couldn't help the whimper of pure fear that escaped her lips and that small sound seemed to penetrate whatever cloud had descended upon Julian's mind.
This time, the horror on his face wasn't because of his dream, but because of what he was doing to her. Layla watched the emotions flit across his face with a building sense of sadness and dread, knowing how much it would bother him at what he had just done.
"Oh my god." He whispered, unable to look at her as he practically flew out of the bed.
Layla tried to control her breathing as she slowly moved to a sitting position. She reached over and draped her robe over her shoulders, tying it at the waist as she climbed out of bed.
She turned and found Julian by the window, his back and shoulders hunched and rising with the fast pants of his breathing, head hanging.
With this angle and the soft lighting, his scars were that much more prominent on his tattooed skin. She gave him just a moment to gather his thoughts, but not too long because she knew what could happen if she left him with his thoughts alone for too long.
She made her way over to him and finally lightly laid her hands on his back, his shoulder blades just on the edges of his spine. His muscles flexed at her touch, his skin enticingly warm and slick.
"Julian," She whispered softly, slowly turning him to face her.
His head stayed down as his throat worked.
She felt her heart tighten painfully at the guilt and utter self-hatred written on his face.
She moved forward, molding her body to his as she bent her head by his chest to meet his eyes, her hands coming up to cradle his face.
"God, Layla." He choked out, shaking his head. "I-I...I put my hands on you!"
Layla shook her head. "No, Julian. It was an accident. You know that and I know that. You just were scared..." She paused and was just about to speak when he broke in.
"I don't care if I was fucking terrified. I promised myself no harm would ever come to you even if that harm is at my hand!" He growled.
She met his eyes with just as much fire. "Julian—I don't give a fuck what you think, quite plainly." Said Layla. "I know that what just happened was because of the horrors that you were seeing in your mind. I know that you would never ever consciously or deliberately lay a finger on me, so just...stop." She finished in a whisper.
He stared at her. "Please, Julian. How many times have Hazel and I had nightmares and how many times have you been here to comfort us? To hold us and to make us feel SAFE."
He didn't speak, so she spoke for him. Moving closer until their noses were practically touching, she quietly whispered, "Every damn time."
Smoothing hair away from his face, she examined him closely. "Let me be here for you. Let me make you feel loved and let me show you that you are not in that dark scary place anymore." Julian stared at the woman he loved for a long time, chest feeling tight as he once again realized just how fucking in love he was with her.
"Okay," He finally said and a beautiful smile bloomed across her face, filling the room and his heart alike with light and chasing the darkness away.
"I...I was dreaming of my mother. She was beautiful, ya know? She had this pureness about her that made you instantly feel like you were breathing in fresh air if you were even just standing beside her," He looked out the window, Layla's arms wrapped around his waist.
Absently, he traced small circles onto her lower back through the soft satin of her robe. "The nights she didn't work-which were very few-we would always go sit outside, playing out in the backyard and in the garden."
Soon, it was as if he wasn't seeing Layla's backyard anymore, but his dream instead. "We would be playing around, having so much fun and then all the sudden, the night would get darker. The stars that shined in the sky were no longer shining but instead swallowed up by the dull blackness of the sky as it deepened and got even darker, casting shadows of the deepest and darkest black. I could feel something fall over us in the dream-something bad-and I knew we had to run. I could hear this laughing and this...this whistled song."
Julian's eyes slammed shut as though he could hear it then and there. "I would turn around to tell my mom that we have to go, but then I would freeze because my mom was suddenly...different. Her skin was horribly pale and I'd reach up to grab her hand, expecting the warmth I always felt when holding her hand but then...she was ice cold." Julian shuddered.
"I would slowly look up and...I would see a small drop of blood on the soft fabric of her nightgown, then another and another. I would follow where the drops went with my eyes and it would slowly lead to these long running ribbons of scarlet. I would follow those and then...I'd see the big gaping slit in her throat, I'd be able to see the pale white of her eyes as her mouth opened in a scream and I wouldn't be able to help but slam my eyes shut and then the whistling would start up again and when I would open my eyes, I was in that closet again and I could hear him as he..." He broke off, feeling bile rise in his throat.
He collected himself and took in a deep breath. "It goes on and on, over and over. The anniversary of her death is in two days."
Layla felt a tear trickle down her cheek for what he had to endure, for the horrors she knew that he saw over and over again without fail in his mind.
She didn't know what to say, so she simply hugged him to her, laying her head against his chest. He sighed deeply, resting his chin on the top of her head as he squeezed her even tighter until it was almost painful. She didn't care.
After a long moment, she pulled away from him and met his gaze with her own. "I am sorry you have to deal with those nightmares. I know how horrible they are—the horrible hot and cold feeling that slides down the back of your neck when you wake up, realizing that it was only partly a dream and mostly a reality. Why haven't I ever seen or heard you have a nightmare before this? Why haven't you told me?" She asked urgently.
"I would just make sure not to sleep or if I did I would do it in very small increments. And because I didn't want to trouble you with my demons when you already are fighting your own." He said and she laughed softly, shaking her head as if he were a complete fool.
"Julian..." She whispered. "That is what you do for someone that you love. Even if you are dealing with enough nightmares or pain or heartache you set it aside-happily-to help the people you love. And honestly, it seems as though your mind already knows this because you were doing it with Hazel and I." She said, caressing his cheek.
"But-" He began, but she cut him off. "But its different for you? No, Julian. It isn't and you know it."
Layla wrapped her arms around his neck. "Let me help you. You don't have to fight these things alone anymore and I am sorry you had to deal with them all by yourself for so long, but you aren't alone anymore..." She murmured. "You have Hazel and...you have me."
Her gaze flicked to his mouth before going back up to his eyes. "You have me now...you have me forever...you have me always."
Julian's eyes burned with unshed tears as he fought the rising wave of emotion that built in him. He didn't know what to say, how to react, so...he simply kissed her.
Their lips met and Layla sighed against his mouth as though having her lips against his own was the most perfect paradise she could ever imagine. She tightened her arms around his neck as he picked her up and led her to the bed.
Ever so gently, he laid her down and pulled his lips from hers, eyes running over the lines of her face. He lifted a hand and ran large fingertips lightly over her cheek making her sigh softly as her eyes fluttered shut. His fingers traveled up then to her eyes, gently running over her brow and back down her temple to her jaw and to a path that led to her lips.
Her eyes opened slowly as he laid a large hand over her chest, just over her heart.
Finally, he looked up at her and smiled, a slow beautiful smile that had warmth blooming inside of her.
"I'm gonna marry you one day." He promised her.
She was so shocked that the smile froze on her lips as her breath caught in her chest. He stared right back at her without an ounce of hesitation and finally, she felt her smile grow again as she felt bright and light, a feeling she never would have imagined feeling after Mason.
She pulled him down to her, whispering, "Not if I marry you first."
Then, she kissed him.
They made love after that, slow and sweet with a heavy promise and happiness blanketing over them.
A little while later, tight in one another's embrace, sleep descended once again and for the first time in 26 years, Julian slept deeply and didn't have a nightmare waiting for him...
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Julian, Layla and Hazel ate at their special picnic in the backyard. The air wasn't too hot nor too cold.
The sky was a seamless blue, clouds a fluffy white-gray. The air smelled heavily of the rain-soaked dirt, of rose bushes and the pasta Layla had made for lunch with the help of Hazel.
Hazel gulped some lemonade after taking a big bite of buttered French bread and Layla couldn't help but smile at Julian as she took a bite herself.
Birds chirped in tandem with their bouts of conversation along with the soft clicking of grasshoppers rubbing their legs together. The trees in the woods just beyond the backyard swayed back and forth in a soothing dance that made the afternoon that much more soft and relaxing.
"What other flowers do you want to plant back here, Hazel?" Asked Layla.
Hazel chewed on the corner of her mouth before pulling open her book and searching the pages.
'Tulips'.
'Lots'.
'Lots'.
Layla let out a laugh as she smiled at the girl. "Lots and lots of tulips, eh?"
The little girl nodded with a small smile and a blush. "I think they would be gorgeous!" Layla told her and Julian nodded his head as he sipped his beer, unbelieving of such a heaven he was in.
"Tulips would look great, Hazel. I can help build some bird-houses, too."
Hazel looked at him with wide-disbelieving eyes.
She flipped the pages of her book.
'Really?'.
Julian grinned, unable to help it as he nodded.
"Really, really." He confirmed and Hazel's smile was just as great even as she giggled. He narrowed his eyes-teasing.
"Are you laughing at me, little one?" He asked in a low tone and Hazel tried to contain her smirk as she shook her head fervently side-to-side.
"No? Are you sure about that?" He slowly set his beer down in the grass, getting to his knees as Hazel got up, too. "Because I was pretty sure you were laughing at me."
Hazel shook her head even more adamantly, more giggles escaping as her muscles bunched. Julian lunged for the little girl, but she managed to move her little body out of the way just in time, squealing as she ran away from him.
Julian began to chase the little girl around the yard. It wasn't long before Julian's long legs and big body caught up with her and he swung her up and into the air over his shoulder, tickling her sides as the little girl squirmed.
Layla threw her head back, laughing so hard her sides hurt.
Julian whispered something into Hazel's ear and another smile grew over the little girl's face. He set her down and they started to inch closer to Layla.
That finally made Layla stop her incessant giggling as she pointed a finger at them. "I know what you are thinking right now. You know how ticklish I am! Don't. You. Dare." She scolded them, but saw she wasn't getting out of this.
She looked from her left to her right and then she bolted for it.
Julian must have been anticipating her move, because it wasn't even a second after she had made a run for it that his large arms were around her waist and she was in the air over his shoulder.
He began tickling her sides as soon as she was in the air and she screeched even as she laughed. Julian brought her back over to the blanket and then Hazel was tickling her, too.
"Stop, stop, stop, STOP!" She laughed hysterically, tears streaming down her face as she tried to buck away from them.
"Stop, I'm going to pee my pants! Stoooop!" She half-scream/half-laughed, vaguely hearing above her Julian's own rumbling laugh mixing with Hazel's small tinkling one.
The fun and games didn't last long, though.
The sound of a car pulling up made each of them freeze. Layla's eyes open as she shot into a sitting position, all three of them slowly turning to find a big black escalade pulling up outside the house. Layla and Julian looked at each other and he could see the question on her face.
'Are you expecting someone?'
He shook his head.
No, he wasn't.
He pushed himself up so that he was standing, watching with growing dread as the car door opened, Dave and Antonio got out.
That bad feeling in his stomach only grew when he saw the grim looks on their faces. "Back here!" Julian shouted, hands cupped around his mouth.
He didn't really need it, considering his voice was as loud and as deep as a lion's roar. Hazel ran into Layla's arms, her skin suddenly cold and clammy.
The two men came into the backyard, taking in the food and drinks laying on the brown and cream colored blankets spread out on the lush green grass.
"A lunch picnic, eh?" Antonio asked with a forced smile and Julian could tell the man had been up all night.
Dave looked just as disheveled, making Julian's hands fist.
He didn't even ask. "One moment and I will meet you out front." He said and bent down to drop a kiss on Layla's forehead before he went walking towards the house.
Layla pointed at Hazel and the little girl nodded, watching as Layla jogged after Julian, disappearing into the house.
"Were you expecting them?" She asked, out-loud this time as they cut through the kitchen. Julian shook his head, lips tight as he pulled his shirt over his head and made his way into the back bedroom. "Well, what do you think it is? What do you think they want?" She asked, anxiety pitching her voice an octave higher.
Julian pulled out some new clothes to put on. "I don't know," He said honestly. "I don't know why they are here. If it was just another scene to clear up than they would have texted me and given me the address. I wasn't expecting them here at all." He said.
He felt a lump in the pocket of the jeans he put on and as he felt it, he realized it was the dead man's phone.
He had totally forgotten about it and he didn't want to take it with him and have the chance of being caught with evidence that could potentially get him killed by the family.
So, quickly and discreetly, he stuffed it into the bedside drawer. It wasn't working anyways. He turned to Layla, finding that she was right behind him, hands by her mouth and looking more than concerned.
He sighed and walked up to lay his hands on her shoulders, tipping up her chin. "I am sure it is nothing." He said, hoping it was the truth. "Don't worry, okay? Just stay here with Hazel and just try not to stress yourself too much." He said and she let out a cold laugh before meeting his gaze head on.
"I will always stress when you are out there and I don't know where you are and if you are safe. I will always worry about you because I love you." She murmured and his heart beat faster.
He didn't think he'd ever get used to hearing that and he never wanted to.
The feeling it gave him...it was indescribable.
"Just...Just promise me that you'll come home to Hazel and I. We need you."
He sighed deeply, not wanting to promise her something that he wasn't sure he could keep it. She forcefully grabbed his face in her hands, glaring at him.
"Promise me." She growled, but he could see the fear in her eyes. They stared at each other for a long minute and before he realized what was happening, the words were leaving his lips.
"I promise."
Her shoulders deflated slightly and she smiled up at him.
"Thank you," She whispered and leaned up to press her lips against his in a hard and fast kiss that made his blood run hot.
She pulled back ever-so-slightly. "I love you."
He kissed her again. "I love you too, babe." He said, grabbing his jacket off the bedpost before he turned and walked out.
They were going in the car that Antonio and Dave had pulled up in and Julian found that the men were just as tense as they had been-if not more.
Dave got in the back and Antonio got in the driver's side.
Just as Julian was about to get in the car, he turned and looked over his shoulder to see Layla and Hazel staring after him, Hazel in Layla's arms with her head on her shoulder.
He tightened his grip onto the car-door until it was to the point of pain, staring at his girls and hating the worry and sadness on their faces. With a soft snarl, he turned away from them and got in the car.
Antonio didn't wait one second longer before he was speeding away.
"What's with the hurry?" Julian asked and Antonio only let out a tired laugh in response.
"Call a guy to watch over the girls, please?" Julian asked after another moment of silence. Antonio nodded and reached in his pocket for his cell-phone before giving it to Dave in the backseat to type in a message.
Some of Julian's tension eased knowing that Hazel and Layla would be safe. He turned slightly to look at Antonio.
"Are you finally going to tell me what the ever-loving fuck is going on?"
Antonio's jaw clenched as his teeth ground together and when he spoke his words made Julian's body go ice cold.
"The boss has personally requested a meeting to talk to us."
Julian forced some saliva into his mouth so that he could speak. "And that's bad?" He asked with a forced laugh.
Antonio smiled coldly, looking at him from the corner of his eye.
"Very bad." He said.
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AHHH! All done!:) I hope oh so much that you guys liked this chapter and I will be starting to work on the next chapter tomorrow. I am so excited for you guys to see what happens next! VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. SHARE. I love you. -Hannah xx<3