So, here is something I want to tell you. I got some private messages telling me to just trust god and that god knows what he is doing. But I can't trust god. I am agnostic. For those of you who don't know what that is, if you are agnostic you believe there is no proof of god existing or not existing. He may be real he may not be. Before you can judge listen.
I am being raised catholic. My parents don't know I am agnostic they would die if they found out. They are constantly talking about god and his plans. But where is the proof? For all we know the Bible could be made up. There is nothing to support the fact that the bible is true.
However, I am not atheist. If you are atheist you believe after life there is nothing. But I disagree. There is something after you die. Maybe it's heaven or maybe it's something else. If you are Christian then tell me this, why should we believe in god?
The bible is proof. Not to me. To me, the bible is bullshit because it is telling you that god had plans for all of us. That he loves us. If he loves me then why is he slowly killing me? Why is he strangling me? If god is able to sit back and let someone become suicidal before they turn 12 then he isn't worth believing in. It's not worth believing in someone who gives you false hope because that's what god does to me. People tell me it will work out in the end but its been nearly 7 years and nothing has changed. How much longer will take then huh? As soon as god can show proof that he is real. Proof that he is in charge of everything then I will believe.
No, before you ask I'm not atheist. There is nothing to support the fact he isn't real either. God (or any other god) could be real. How else would you explain some things? Sometimes god is the only explanation people can think of.
To me god is for those who need an explanation and can't find one in facts. God may be real. God may not be real. But I know on thing, facts are real. I don't believe god is alive nor dead. I believe in facts for now. I will believe in facts until am proven otherwise. Call me whatever you would like. My mom said if ever confronted about what you believe in then stand up for what you believe. So that's what I will do.
So no more: god loves you or god will make it work out in the end. No more: god has plans for you. Because he doesn't. No one can control your life other than you. You decide what will happen. Not god. Not the devil. Not anyone. Just you. So to any of those who read this, I'm agnostic. And I will be until I die. Unless proven otherwise of course. But I will need facts. Something to depend on.