My ears ring, my brain buzzes, I can barely part my lips enough to say anything, but still, this cop doesn't give up on me.
"Miss? You're going to have to speak to me soon or things are going to get real ugly around here. In case you haven't noticed, we've got a huge mess to clean up here."
Yeah, a mess that I'm about to be a part of at any moment.
It won't be long before I'm a monster too, causing untold problems along with all the others. But before that'll happen I need to go through the sheer agony of changing. I'll have to suffer what I've seen so many go through before. The screaming, the shrieking, the begging to be killed. Seeing that from a medical professional's point of view is one thing, going through it myself will be something else entirely.
I don't think I'm brave enough.
"Pull the trigger," I plead quietly with the police officer. "It's the only way."
A quick, mostly painless death that I won't know much about is preferable to the unknown. I don't know much, but I am sure of that.
The man gives me a look of understanding before a range of emotions cross his face. I recognise the internal battle that he's going through, I was in that place before only moments ago. The only difference is I'm begging for death, I want to be put out of my misery. I'm much too afraid to face the future now. I need this.
Come on, I plead as I stare intently up at him. Do it already. I'm done, it's time for me to go...
But nothing happens. Well, nothing that I want anyway because in a heartbeat everything's changed all over again. The gun is gone, I'm being dragged to my feet, and someone's pulling me into the outside area...I'm leaving the hospital behind.
"No," I murmur quietly. "No, this isn't right, I can't..."
"Everyone into the riot van!" a cry bursts through the thick air. "We need to take you all somewhere safe."
"I can't go," I beg to anyone who will listen. The only problem is that seems to be no one. "I have to stay here. I'm going to die. I'm infected."
"Can I help you?"
As someone finally speaks to you, my chest swells with relief. I want to weep with joy. My eyes twist until I see a pair of warm, familiar eyes staring back at me. The girl. The teenage girl that I almost killed is the only person willing to give me any help.
"I...I..." I gasp, too stunned to really form an answer. "I..." I want to tell her everything but I'm too afraid to do so. I don't really deserve her help, but I'm also not quite ready to give her up just yet. "What's going on?" I eventually decide on. "I don't know what's happening at all."
"I'll look after you," she tells me with a cozy smile. "Don't you worry about anything." I want to ask her if she remembers me if she knows what I almost did, but I don't. Instead, my lips purse tightly and I wait for her to speak again. "My name is Rachel, by the way."
"Katie," I whisper back. "I'm Katie."
"Well, as far as I can work out, Katie, the hospital isn't safe anymore so we're being escorted to somewhere that is..."
I won't go, I can't. I can't endanger everyone else that's okay. I'll just run as soon as it's time to get into the van. Simple. What can go wrong?