Everyone rushes around me in a blur of activity while I remain frozen to the spot, helpless and hopeless. I've got a knife between my fingers, which I guess someone must have handed to me at some point, but I can't do anything with it.
Dave and Hannah are already gone, they don't seem to have any issue with what we need to do, which only makes me feel a million times worse. We're supposed to be helping these people, they came here for a cure, not to be murdered. We can't do this, I was supposed to have more time. I needed to find a solution and now it seems like it's too late. If we're taking this crazy step then all control of the virus must be done. The specialist medical facility is over and we're all screwed.
How are we supposed to just be okay with that?
"Come on, Katie," someone screams next to me. "Don't just stand there, they'll kill you."
They...the dreaded people making all the decisions. Would they really kill me for not wanting to join in? I suppose that's a question which doesn't really need an answer.
I step into one of the patient rooms where blood spurts from every angle as medical staff slit the throats of the patients without a second thought as if it's standard procedure.
If there's no hope then you will doing them a favor, I try to convince myself. Leaving them in that state, if there's truly no answer, is so much worse.
But I don't know if I'm ready to let go of the dream just yet.
As I take a step towards the bed of one of the victims that I've felt very sorry for recently because of the state he's in. my knuckles turn white. There's a trickling sensation in my hand which suggests that I've pierced my skin with the blade. I don't bother to check though, I have a mission at hand and I need to at least attempt to complete it. I might not like it, but I don't want to die myself. I guess my self-preservation is stronger than anything else.
I'm sorry, I blink tears away as I slide the blade closer to the boy's neck. He snarls and growls at me, his teeth aim for my skin, which keeps me going. If there was even a scrap of humanity left within this boy I wouldn't be able to do it. This is for the best. I have to do this.
The silver connects with his skin and I drag it along, much too lightly. It does no damage which only makes it more agonizing for me. I have to do it again, much harder this time. I half expect blood to fly out him like I've seen it do with the others, but it's more of a trickle than anything else.
"In the head!" someone screams from another room. "It has to be in the head."
I ignore that statement as I move over to the next bed. There I find myself staring down at a pale, beautiful, very human-looking teenage girl.
I gulp. Am I supposed to do this to her as well?
"It's a mistake," she yells shrilly. I can see the sheer terror behind her eyes, which coincidentally is exactly how I feel.
"Yep, it always is," I hear my mouth saying as if that's a reasonable answer to her. I don't know what my brain was thinking when it came up with that statement, it probably just wanted to shut her up before I changed my mind.
I hold the blade out, I press it to her skin, but before I can do anything at all everything changes in a flash.
Alarm bells ringing. Lights flashing. Fear. Panic. Where is that screaming noise coming from?