It's a pretty absurd feeling you know; when you knew something wasn't right or it was a huge mistake just waiting to happen. Ever since that night Michael and I kissed; it really got to me. Feelings were everywhere; I don't know what to do. It's been at least a week and he pretended none of it ever happened; I sigh and slowly walk over to my dresser and grab an oversized hoodie and the same sweatpants I've been wearing for the past week.
I've been suffering these nightmares that I can't get a hold of it's always the same thing; dad. I always wake up with sweat drenched clothes and cheek stained tears. It's 4 in the morning and I don't want to go to sleep, so I step out of my room and into Michael's room finding that he's not there; again. Michael comes home pretty late; after therapy, he drops me off at the apartment and is never to be seen until after midnight. I don't know what he's doing or exactly where he is, but all I know is he hasn't paid much attention to me at all.
I grab some milk out the fridge and some cereal; I sit down and think of what has happened the past few weeks.
Well for one thing; I died. Luke screamed at me during our therapy session. Michael kissed me, and now he's suddenly missing. What a chap he is.
The front door bursts open with Michael sucking Stacy's face. What the hell? Moans escape their mouths as cereal escapes mine; this is really uncomfortable. They suddenly stop; both cheeks flush and heavy breathing continues as they notice I'm choking on a fruit loop. Awkward silence fills the room before I break it.
"I-erm, uh-I'm gonna head to bed..." I say awkwardly scratching the back of my neck; them just silently laughing to themselves as their arms brush against one another.
Wow.
-
I'm running; but I don't know where I'm going. A long dress is draping over me; just like the one when I died. People yelling and cheering for me to keep running, even though I have no destination; it's all just one long dirt road ahead of me. I turn my head to the left and to the right, instead of cheering, they're now yelling at me to run faster before 'he' gets me. With a confused look on my face, I turn around.
Dad?
I stop dead on my feet to look at him; his faced angered and in his hand is my mum's vase. He's running; running after me. I run and I run but something holds me back. A long rope wraps around my neck and I'm suddenly now in front of crowds of people waiting to be hanged.
"Witch!" they yell "Crazy!" a woman yells; tears escape my eyes and my dad appears before me.
"You were never a good enough child for me." He says pulling the lever.
-
"Bella wake up!" Michael yells shaking me awake. My body's covered in sweat and my cheeks are stained with tears. Stacy is against the wall wearing Michael's ACDC tank picking at her nails; Michael's face flashes with worry and concern as he runs his fingers through my hair as sobs escape my mouth.
"Stacy, can you give us a minute?" Michael asks her and she nods and heads for the door; me taking Michael's hand out of my hair and onto his lap. I intertwine my hands together so their locked and look Michael in the eyes.
"I'm fine, you should go." I say barely audible, he nods and slowly stands up, but sitting back down in a matter of seconds. Nervousness is written all over him as he speaks.
"That kiss, i-I'm sorry. I was just confused, I had all these feelings bundled up inside and you looked so much like Stacy. I'm just; sorry." My heart dropped, I looked like Stacy? What? She and I look nothing alike; she was stunning like lighting as I was as dull as rain. I manage a fake smile as he places a kiss on my forehead and walk out my room.
Soft sobs escape my mouth and I muffle them all into my pillow. It's 6:45am and I think I'll be awake for a long time.
It's now 9 am and I've been doing nothing but stare at the grey boring wall before my eyes. My eyes are heavy and are threatening to close; but I know if I do, nightmares will come and there will be no angel to save me.
I decide to go out for a nice walk or some actual food; I haven't had a proper dinner in weeks. I grab my jacket and slide my oxford shoes on, I head out the door grabbing some house keys with me knowing that Michael probably be here when I get back.
I take the elevator down to the main lobby as a teenage boy with curly brown hair and dark eyes shouts at me to keep the elevator door open. He's holding loads of carry-on bags and his breathing is heavy as he tries to speak to me.
"My cousins are finally going back to Quebec." He laughs as pressing the already green lobby button. I smile and nod my head as he continues.
"You're Bella right? Yeah, I'm Calum and uh I live like two or like twenty doors down from you and Michael." He says showing off his pearly white teeth at me. I smile wider as his smile is contagious; I wrap my arms around my body remembering Calum and I used to go to school together. He dropped out with the influence of Michael; but I've never really known that much about him.
"Do you need help?" I ask him in a quiet voice; his eyes go wide and a grin breaks out from the both of us. I grab one of the carry-on bags and follow him as we both enter the parking lot. He opens the trunk of his car and throws four of the bags in; I copy him as he closes the trunk and locks it up.
He scratches the back of his neck and I squint as the ray of sun is really killing my eyes. He smiles like many times in the past few minutes and I also do the same. He's just a genuine happy person.
"Erm, I'm not really doing anything after I drop off my cousins at the airport, would you like to have lunch with me?" he asks me a tint of red staining his cheeks. My cheeks flush too as I've only been asked on a date once and I did not look like a dead person.
My stomach drops at the thought of Luke, but I push the feelings away as I smile and nod my head to my new found friend; Calum.
-
I think I'm lost, it's like 11:30 and I'm supposed to meet Calum at 1. After we exchanged numbers I walked to the nearby park where I sat on the park bench for two hours enjoying the rays of sunshine and the cool gust of wind flowing throughout my hair.
I decided to walk, just walk around the neighbourhood. But then I sort of zoned out of everything and ended up here. Sunset drive, I've never ever been here before and it was getting pretty chilly. The houses here are gigantic compared to mine and Michael's apartment, it baffles my mind that after living here for the past 19 years, and I've never noticed this street before.
My phone died of long minutes playing on my phone trying to beat my own high score in mega jump. Now I don't know where I am, what time it is, or how I'm getting home. I sit on the curb focusing only on my breathing and the noise around me. Winds and nothing but.
-
"Can you cut your hair Belle?" Luke asks as he pushes my hair out of my face but it was no use; the wind still kept blowing my hair everywhere.
"No, I love my hair." I say pouting, acting like a complete 5 year old; he chuckles and holds my hair into place with his palms.
"I love your hair too; it's just this stupid wind that's killing me." He says and I laugh
"How is the wind killing you Luke? C'mon, 'Then the gusty blow of wind then knocked out the famous Lucas Hemmings'" I say mimicking a voice over like the one in cartoons.
"Not only is the wind killing me, but my love for you is also," He says clutching his heart while biting his lip. I crack a smile and he does the same, as the wind blows us far away from the real world.
-
"Bella there you are!" someone calls me from the distance. Three figures come to me as I'm still sitting on the curb with wind gushing in my air. It was Michael, Stacy, and...Cathy. Michael sits beside me as Stacy and Cathy both stay standing.
What is Cathy doing here? Cathy nods to Michael; she walks away Stacy following closely behind her. Michael and I are left alone as Cathy and Stacy go on about to wherever they're going.
"Cathy's Stacy's mom you know." Michael says nudging me on the shoulder; I slowly nod my head, not really wanting to talk to him after last night.
"And they live down the street." He adds pointing at the big green house down the road; I nod once again looking down at my shoes Michael tapping my shoulder.
"Are you alright?" He asks me, and I point at my wrist pretending to have a watch on.
"Oh" He says "Would you like to go home?" I nod my head smiling remembering my 'lunch date' with Calum.
We head over to the car as we both put our seatbelts on; he takes my face so that's it's facing him. He looks at me with furrowed eyebrows framing his face. I mirror his face as he lets go of me, he sighs looking down at the steering wheel.
"You really are Cathy's daughter." He thinks aloud, he thought I couldn't hear what he was to say, but I clearly did.
-
so what'cha guy thinkkk
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