"What do you expect me to do?" I try to plead rationally with the police officer who's standing at the hospital doors. I probably should go and get one of the higher ups to sort out this issue, but I don't think I have the time. He seems determined to push everyone through, regardless of what I want. If I leave I'm sure he'll do it anyway. "We just don't have any room. This place is already overrun. Can you not exchange the infected people for the one's who seem fine?"
Why couldn't someone else have answered the knock?
"Of course not," he scoffs at me. "This isn't a Goddamn cab service. We are told to bring 'em here, so that's what we'll do. The rest is up to you."
"Look at this place." I indicate wildly behind me. "It's a mess. Can you not take them to the hospital?"
"Hospital's closed down." He shrugs and pushes the first person in. "This is the only place left."
I feel a pang deep in my heart. The hospital has been closed for the Lockdown and I didn't know. Childishly I think some of those doctors should've come to help, namely, Ryan. He knows that I'm here and he hasn't bothered. If I've ever needed a sign that he doesn't want me, then I have one now. Loud and clear.
"The hospital is closed?"
"Everywhere is closed. This isn't called the Lockdown for nothing. Everywhere's shut down."
"What are we supposed to do? Will you bring more people here? This place will collapse! People are getting sick every day. Any minute now, everyone will be infected, then you'll have nowhere to go." I can already see that my impassioned speech has had absolutely no effect.
"Look, miss, there ain't nothing I can do. You gotta take them in, I don't know where you're gonna put them, but this is the way things are."
I don't want to, but I can't see any point in keeping up the disagreement when I can already see that I'm going to lose, so I nod defeatedly and I step aside to let the people in. As more people than I ever thought possible rush past me, I start to feel an overwhelming sense that the walls are going to close in on me, that we're all going to end up crushed. I can almost see it happening; the trampling, the squashing, the sickness spreading through us all like wildfire.
I don't want to die in that way.
"C...calm down," I gasp breathlessly. "Everyone, calm down." My vision blurs as I stagger forwards. I feel drunk like I no longer really know where I am. "Someone needs to...we need to get control, this is too much...help, someone..." I can no longer breathe, my lungs feel flattened, any minute now I'm going to die.
"Miss?" I can hear a voice next to me, but I cannot see who's attached to it. I move to find them, but nothing becomes clear. "Miss?"
The light balls up, and slowly vanishes. I can feel myself almost retreating from the world, turning in on myself.
Then the blackness claims me, and actually, I willingly let it.