Guess who was disturbed from a deep sleep by some shitty, good - for - nothing little humans? Now I'm back with some stupid chapter.
Question: What is your biggest insecurity when you think about you and your team? Karasuno, answer.
Daichi: Well. . . The fact that I probably am not so good of a captain kind of starts becoming a potential candidate for triggering my paranoia. I just don't think I have all that it takes to be able to lead a team of twelve to victory all that smoothly, and that would give them all a feeling that they weren't good enough, and I can't take it.
[ When someone is proficient in something, they start to want for more and more excellence regarding that field of expertise. Have you ever looked back at your old artworks and started laughing at them, yet how come you never come to appreciate your current works? That's because you get better and better bit by bit. You cease to notice your greatness because you already are much too great, beyond your comprehension, beyond your expectations. And the fact that you go as far as to shoulder other people's feelings? What would we call you if you refuse to be called and to acknowledge the fact that you are an awesome leader? ]
Sugawara: I know I'm not supposed to be feeling this, but because I was kicked out of my position as a starting setter on the last year of highschool for me. . . I just can't help but feel insecure and all. Like I'm not really of much use and that I have never been. Selfish, aren't I?
[ Selfishness isn't even one of the seven deadly sins, meaning, it is a normal way of the human mind. So what if you start thinking you should have been the one in there? That's completely natural. Of course, we sometimes want to always have that feeling of being able to do what we want, to pursue some kind of career we want and to always be the one in there, and we also need it. We need to taste the feeling of standing on top of a pile of corpses so we can look forward to the next battle without fearing the intensity of the heated clash. Besides, you think you're useless? Well, that's not being selfish at all. That's being selfless, for a fact. ]
Asahi: The team lost because of me. I wasn't able to break through the blocks at the most crucial point in the game, and I kept feeling this sense of paranoia clawing at me. I started feeling afraid of giving volleyball a try, because I'm not ready to see everyone suffer such a loss once again.
[ Just because you are the best at something doesn't mean you have to always keep being the best at it. We have to retract, we have to fall, we have to experience failure in order to get stronger and learn how to get back up again from the ashes of our defeat. Did you know, for every fibre damaged in the human body, it gets replaced with two? Besides, being the 'ace' means not only being able to bring victory to your teammates, but also to make them feel as victorious as the opposing team, the winners, despite the loss. ]
Nishinoya: Being the libero means being the backup that everyone relies on. Since I'm just human all the same, I can't possibly receive every single hit the opponents send me on purpose, and the feeling of having people rely on you and failing to serve your purpose just gets to me.
[ If you really think they rely on you so much, then do what you must. They rely on you, so why start feeling all down about it? Instead of getting all depressed, why don't you try harder and all until you can finally call yourself someone worth being relied on? No one relies on someone who can't even rely on himself. ]
Tanaka: Amidst all the awesome spikers like Asahi - san and Hinata, who is a first year and even lacked proper practice, I just can't help but start getting the feeling that I'm being carried away in a sea too powerful for someone weak and not good enough like me. I just don't see how I contribute to the team's forces. I wonder when I'll eventually drown?
[ If you start to drown, go back to the shore and make a boat. If a storm is on, you should make the boat more durable. Just because you aren't capable of stopping the storm doesn't mean you have to fall back down and let it whip you away like you're just some ragdoll. Well, if you are, wear armor. There are a lot of ways to catch up to the strong, so you should find them on your own. Do you think Bruce Lee could immediately do those stunts once he was out of his mother's womb? Everything takes time, time. And if you just can't be the same, then why try to be the same? Maybe you're just way different, unique and that you have your own strengths. ]
Ennoshita: It's not because I'm just a substitute captain or some kind of a future leader. It's not that I don't find the feeling of being a replacement much to my liking, but the fact that I'm supposed to fill in for someone so great. . . I can't help but start to think, 'someone who quit, really?' and I just end up wanting to laugh at myself.
[ The fact that you were chosen to be this replacement you speak of is enough proof that you are good enough to be someone who can stand in the same light as someone you look up to. And don't you ever think that quitting once and getting back to something is a sign of weakness, that you shouldn't be trusted because you were too stupid and weak. Approaching something you had once walked away from is a sign of pure strength, and that makes you just as great as someone you deem far superior. ]
Kageyama: Even though I don't want to, I keep dwelling on the past. It's like it's keeping me from trusting these new teammates I have, and I can't help but start lumping them together with the people I have been with once. I don't want this. Can someone tell me if I can still change?
[ Doubts are always there. It's impossible to lead them away, and as they say, wise men are never certain. Only fools are. Indesicivenes is what makes a person wiser in making choices as they think of all the possibilities. Paranoia is just a result of all the ideas you've put into compilation. You know, the very fact that you're thinking of all these things and are pondering so hard about a question that has already been answered. . . Haven't you already changed? ]
Hinata: How nice it would be to have been blessed with height. Aside from being able to play volleyball better to get a sense of fulfillment, I would be able to contribute to the team way, way better than the me in my current situation.
[ Seriously, so what if you're short? What if you're being told that you're not suited to be playing a sport you aren't meant for? What if they say you're doing something that isn't fated to be yours? Well, fuck fate and make ways to show them that you can do it. A sense of fulfillment isn't bad to be craving for, but isn't it more fulfilling when people get surprised at what you have in store? Seeing an ant carry a piece of some food ten times its size is incredible, and they aren't even aware of how amazing this feat is. The Ugly Duckling turned out to be a swan. ]
Tsukishima: I can't stop thinking about the possibility that all this hard work will end up in a ditch. The more you put into something, the greater disappointment you will feel when all your efforts would be discarded down the drain. If I don't perform at my best, then I would be able to remain neutral.
[ It's cliché, but you won't really know unless you try. If you keep running away from the opportunity, then it will start running away from you, too. Besides, you're taller than whatever is pulling you down. You stand above whatever is weighing you to the ground. I understand you aren't dwelling on the past but are simply considering your present actions for the sake of the future, but miscalculations always happen. Grab the chance, live to feel, not to fail, and you won't know what you have failed if you won't try. ]
Yamaguchi: A spear is useless when one doesn't know how to protect the wooden handle. If someone simply grabs it and uses it against an experienced fighter, he would undoubtedly lose and his only weapon which is fragile enough to be taken down that easily will fall from his hands. So a spear without a good wielder is just useless, isn't it? And I'm afraid I am a very bad fighter.
[ Warriors were trained for years. Spears may have vulnerable bodies, but their heads are as deadly as fast - acting poison. If you seriously deem yourself as an awful wielder of such a difficult weapon, then it's fine. The weapon is difficult to wield. Besides, you can make ways to protect the wood that easily breaks under the pressure of a sharp blade. If the usual style always ends up in having you holding two pieces of a whole, then do it your own way and learn in your own pace. The greatest warriors were once newborn babies. ]
. . . *mental disorder intensifies* I can't think well at all, it's 1:00 in the morning but I had to finish this or else I'll end up deleting it again. Like that time when I erased the entire document that contained a nearly - finished oneshot just because I thought about it twice and deemed it nonsense and all. I apologize for talking drunk. I'm drunk when I'm half - asleep. Yes, yes, I'm fully aware that I'm half asleep. I hope there'd be no typos lingering around. . .
So let's stay here for story time since it's impossible to go back to dreamland once I get interrupted as I run through the fields of the castle of this awesome land. The guards just kick me out for me letting a shriek escape my throat and they won't let me go back after a while.
Hmmm. . . Guess which of these 'insecurities' I had the most trouble giving an answer to? You'll definitely know immediately once you look at Trashcan, chapter 13; 48 Questions ( re - answering ). But no, it's not advisable. If you don't have anything better to do, then okay, go go go. I spread secrets a lot and that's why people get plenty of blackmail material. But it's okay. I somehow manage to turn the tables on them. *wink* Agggh fork, I need to get water. I need to drink. I need hydration WTF BUT IT'S TOO QUIET EVERYONE'LL WAKE UP AND THE HALLWAY IS -- *sees facial features* . . . *screams*
BUT EEEGH. I don't even know why I made such a chapter which my fully - conscious side probs would never approve of. Wait, lemme fumble around for my stuffed bear.
Hmmm oh my god it's 01:11 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa -- oh ok now it's 01:12 how late ( not a typo bc letter t is so far away from letter m on the keyboard ) of me to have only seen that holy time seconds before it would disappear. Hmmm it's actually forking weird now. I mean -- wait wtf it's already 01:14?
Wow. Time sure flies fast.
My stuffed bear is so fabulous. It's pink. Yay. Time check; 01:15. Srsly wat
Ok i need a glass of water so bad buh bye i swear im going to sleep after that. No, rlly. Not being sarcastic or shit here. Ummm the headcanon book became an upgraded trashcan oml.