Chapter 1
Holden's Little Sister
I woke up with a pounding headache and a twist in my stomach. I groaned as I removed the blanket from my head and was greeted by the bright sun. I turned to my side to face away from the window and found my roommate, Sammy, sleeping peacefully. I clutched my throbbing head and tried to collect most of my memories from the night before. But, per usual as when I get wasted I couldn't recall. I didn't drink often, but when I did drink, I drank hard. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I needed an escape from reality even if it was for just one night.
I remembered leaving the party with a beer in my hand which is a good sign, because there wasn't a guy with me. I could live with knowing somehow I had gotten more to drink, but I made it home in one piece and most of my dignity. I recalled Darren's harsh words, but as badly as I wanted to hold a grudge against him I couldn't. He was just too god damn hot.
I shakily got up and changed into a new sweatshirt and jeans, I wondered for a moment if anyone would question me about my sweatshirt and as to why the hell I'd be wearing one in the middle of August. But, then I told myself no body would question it because no one cares.
I sighed and left the dorm quietly as to not disturb the peaceful sleep of Sammy. I walked toward a coffee shop I knew would be open this early on a Saturday morning, but as I begun to walk in I quickly turned around as I saw two too familiar faces. I didn't want to bother them with my presence, but they saw me way too fast.
"Emily! Over here!" The brunette shouted while waving her hand over. I gave a small smile and walked over.
"Hey Lauren," I whispered then nodded, "Hey Jamie."
"What are you up to?" Jamie asked while sipping from her cup. I shrugged unable to focus. Lauren's hair was perfectly straightened and her perfect straight white teeth were shining in the light as she smiled. I could never be as beautiful as she was.
"You okay?" Jamie asked pulling me back to the conversation.
"Huh?" I glanced at her then gave an awkward chuckle, "Oh yeah. I'm good, just getting coffee."
"You seem a bit out of it," Jamie said and Lauren nodded in agreement.
Shit, I thought, can they tell? Can they see how broken I am?
"I just have a terrible hangover is all," I whispered thinking that won't get them off my back, but then they erupted in laughter. Oh, I guess they can't see through shit.
"Been there done that," Lauren laughed then checked down at her phone, "Shit. We're late." I didn't speak as I watched them get up. Lauren glanced at me.
"You coming to rehearsal?" I looked her over confused.
"No..." l trailed off a little shocked that she had asked, "Why would I?"
"Uh, cause you're Brian's little sister!" Jaime spoke as if that was all I was. That's all I could ever be in their eyes. Brian's Little Sister. It was as if it was branded on my forehead.
"I'm not really needed," I said looking down at the table and for a moment my pounding head wasn't the only thing that hurt, so did my heart as it fell to the bottom of my stomach.
"Don't say that!" Lauren said tugging my arm making me jolt up. "Come on!" And she pulled me along and for a second I did feel needed. But, that disappeared quickly as Lauren let go of her tight grip on my arm and skipped ahead of us. Jaime laughed at her and I wished I could laugh as well, but happiness couldn't reach me. I was too far gone. My head hurt too much for me to think, so, like a lifeless zombie, I trailed behind the two happy girls, whom I wished I could call my friends. We weren't friends though, how could we be? My brother was friends with them, not me.
We approached the small theater on the campus and Lauren shoved the door open with ease. She walked in with a swing in her step and Jaime followed suit. I tried to hide in the background, I could feel the stares before I had even step inside. My brother glanced up from the huddle of Nick and Matt to stare at me. My god, did he look like hell. He had dark under eye circles and his eyes were puffy, he clearly was more hungover than me. I smirked for a moment, but it quickly fell when I heard someone speak.
"What's Em doing here?" Joey Richter asked. Maybe he didn't mean it to sound rude, but it did. And it hurt.
"Oh nothing, I can leave if it's too much trouble," I began turning away, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. Warmth flushed through my arm and my heartbeat quickened. I looked up to stare at Darren who looked as worse off as my brother, but better.
"No, stay. You can help," he barely spoke, but it was enough to make me turn to mush.
"O-okay," I stuttered feeling my cheeks heat up.
I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to feel anything, but this stupid infatuation. And in my defense, I shouldn't have felt this way, because this was my brother's best friend. But, the heart wants what it can't have.
His hand grasped mine, in a friendly way, but I pictured it meaning something more in my small dull mind. He guided me to a seat in the middle of audience.
"There, you can see the whole show," he grinned at me and I gave a smile back. I forgot about my pain and sadness for a moment, as he stared at me everything felt good. But, then he turned around. I thought he was going to leave me, but instead he climbed on the stage and turned to face me.
"Now thank you all for coming," he gestured around and I stifled a laugh. Looking back this moment wasn't so funny, but when you're in love with a boy everything that comes out of his mouth is funny.
"In case you don't know what this musical is about and as if the title hasn't given it away, it's a parody of Harry Potter." I shook my head at him.
"I know, Darren." He ignored me.
"And of course, I am the lead. I play the great, Harry Potter." He winked and I swear my heart stopped and I died. Everything in the world ended and the only thing left was him and me.
"Okay, okay," Joey Richer slapped Darren's back, "Enough flirting go talk to your girlfriend, Julia."
The word 'flirting' rattled inside my brain. We weren't flirting, were we? I didn't even know the first step of flirting. Could Darren Criss have been flirting with me? Could he like me?
But, my thoughts were crushed when Darren tore his eyes off of mine and turned to Julia—his girlfriend, I reminded myself.
"I play Ron in case you didn't know," Joey said climbing off the stage and coming over to me. I gave a weak nod.
"I know." I looked away in the distance watching Darren and Julia converse. Julia threw her head back laughing and he placed a hand on her shoulder, just as he had done to me a few minutes ago. I could still feel his hand on mine and the fire he had lit. He burned my entire soul and tore my heart apart all at once.
"You hot?" Joey asked and I jerked away to look at him.
"What?" My eyebrows furrowed together and a part of me worried he had made a connection with my sweatshirt and was going to ask me why I was wearing it.
"Your face is all flushed," he shrugged and I gingerly touched it curiosity getting the better of me. I flinched at how hot my cheeks were.
"Oh, oops," I mumbled realizing jealousy had shown itself. Joey chuckled at me.
"If you're hot take your sweatshirt off."
My eyes widened and I reacted a little too quickly at being panicked.
"Or don't," he gave me a weird look then he laughed, "Ohh. You don't have a shirt underneath, do you?"
"Yeah," I nodded, "I can't take it off because of that." I nodded again in agreement. That's totally the only reason I can't take it off, I thought.
"Guys come on, let's go," Brian, my brother, shouted. Joey spun around and everyone sprinted onto the stage to talk with Nick, Matt, and Brian, leaving me completely and utterly alone.
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A/N:
I hope you are enjoying the story so far!
I will be updating at least 3 times a week, but sometimes everyday if I have time. :)
I always make a playlist when I write, because music helps to fuel me so up top/by the side (maybe?) there should be a YouTube video with some chapters that is a song that somewhat fits the chapter or just the story. Listen to them or don't lol
Have a fantastic day!!