Alex's P.O.V
Currently standing between my parents graves I took one last sigh, wiped my tears and composed myself as I still was drunk. Once I had sorted myself out, I chewed on a piece of gum and walked back inside the church. As I opened the beautiful white doors a large group were sat and hovering around at the front of the church. Derek and his team, Linc, Nessa, Blake, Ruth and the other agents/soldiers who were friends of the family. Including my moms brother and the rest of Dereks family. I knew what I had to do, I couldn't leave them all sat here mourning, I had to do the right thing if not for me, then for my parents.
Walking up to the priest who was gathering his stuff I ignored everyone and stood in front of him.
"Brian..."
"Alexandra Phoenix Hunter, my sweet child. Are you okay?"
"I will be... I can't apologise enough for the damage I caused..."
"Don't be silly, it's okay. Once you forgive yourself, everything will be put into place..."
"What do you mean?"
"you've lost your parents at such a young age, but know that they are back with god now and are watching over you, they are so proud of what a fine young woman you are and they will be with you every step of the way. But Alexandra you have to let the people who love and care about you in, but you can't do that without letting go of any pain in the past..."
I didn't say anything as his words meant a lot, for the first time I actually felt peace. He wiped a tear and hugged me. Turning around I walked towards the group and looked around. Blake walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist, laughing I turned around and hugged him back as I held in the tears that were burning to flow out.
"let's go..." I spoke up to the whole group who were quiet at this point, my voice was hidden from any emotions as I didn't flinch, my voice deep and sad I started to walk out hoping they would follow.
"Alex...where?"
"Home."
10 minutes had passed and I was now stood in front of the house which held so many memories. I was stood in front of my house yet couldn't find the strength to unlock or open the door. I peeked behind me as I saw the whole neighbourhood waiting for me to open the door. Derek stood behind me and put his arm on top of my hand and helped me open it, unlocking we all walked in.
The house remained the same; it had the same loving vibe to it. There was no mess in the house as I remember cleaning it before I left thoroughly but I knew I had to sort something out quickly. As everyone made their way in I ran to my parents' bedroom and shut the door. The smell of my mom's perfume and dads suits hanging up on show. I couldn't do this, I couldn't let anyone ruin or move anything from its place so I decided to lock the door and make it unavailable for the public.
Walking out I went back into the living room and smiled at Blake who had started to move the couches and sofas around to make the room even bigger than it was. Everyone had started to arrive and the house was getting a lot more full. As it was only 8:30pm it wasn't too dark outside so I used the control system near my patio door to turn on all the lights in my garden, as soon as I did the whole place lit up. The gazebo was twinkling as the hammocks and pool glowed.
"Such a beautiful house Alex." Derek walked up behind me and smiled out to the garden.
"My dad built it..." my heart throbbed as I spoke about him.
"That doesn't surprise me one bit, always did like to get his hands messy." He chuckled.
"I don't know what to do, how do I entertain people here?"
"You don't have to do anything, Ruth, Vicky and my sisters have gone to pick up food, and the others are sorting the rooms out. You don't have to speak to anyone or do anything, let us take care of you."
"Thank you." was all I said as I walked to my room. Looking around at pictures of my parents and, the room was a happy space where I remember the exact moments my parents had nearly killed me from doing something stupid like throwing a house party, or getting arrested for the 6th time in a row. Oh how I miss them. I knew I was still pretty tipsy so I locked my door and took a quick shower. Once refreshed I changed into a black dress and placed both my moms and dads chain around my neck and hid it. I could hear a lot more noise now, people talking, some crying and some running around (obviously any children on the base).
I left my room and walked towards the living room, but as I did I analysed everything. Every picture in the house, every ornament and all the furniture. Grabbing a bottle of water I downed it and looked out my kitchen window. Blake, Linc, Nessa and the rest of the teens who were at Vinnie's were all chilling out back, some were kicking a ball around whilst the others were in full conversation. I knew I hadn't spoken to Linc or Nessa much on this trip, but they knew I wouldn't be up for talking as it was a lot to take in, which is why I was grateful to have them here. Smiling I made my way to Derek and the AWOL FAMILY.
"Alex."
"Hi..."
"We are sorry for...."
"No...don't. Just don't say anything. I lost my mom and dad; you've lost your sister, brother, and son. You have every right to be here, you're Skyler's and Phoenix family, I can't take that away from you. I can't imagine the pain you are all feeling...." As I spoke calmly tears formed in everyone's eyes. "It's just a shock to see family here when my whole life it was just my mom, dad and I. But am I going to say this, just because you are family with them does not mean you're my family. Sure we are related by blood but I don't know you, I don't know any of you and I don't know if that was my parents fault, or yours or even mine, whatever the reason ... im open to getting to know you, but right now it's too much for me, so please when I ask for space and time, just give it to me...respectfully." I finished and smiled at the bunch.
"Oh Alexandra..." was all my 'grandma' said as she burst out in tears and pulled me in for a hug. Sniffling I hugged her back and went along with the night. A lot of people sent their condolences, some cried and others tried to mask their loss with stupid dad jokes. The night had quietened down as everyone had now eaten and was settled down all relaxed on the couches inside. Some were sat on the floor whilst others were seated on the couches. Making my way into the living room again from the bathroom everyone was quiet. I walked to the middle of the room and starred in the mirror. Something was different here. Looking directly at the mirror I knew it was out of place as my head usually wasn't that tall. As everyone watched I knocked on the mirror to test for where it was dense. As I knocked the middle I could hear a slight change in sound.
"Fuck sake dad, why have you always got to hide stuff in random places." I laughed and picked up the lamp which was sitting on the fireplace. Unhooking it I stepped back and smashed the mirror. This caused everyone to jump up and start asking questions.
"Shut up..." I urged as the room once again fell quiet. Moving the glass and breaking some parts off again, I noticed a safe lodged in the wall. Looking at it, it wasn't like your average safe. There was no keypad therefore no passcode. I analysed it and instantly knew what to do... let's just hope it works. Placing my hand on the door handle I heard a faint click and it opened up, smiling I grabbed the box from inside and sat down with it in my lap as everyone watched confused.
Pulling out a letter I smiled and read it out loud.
"To our beautiful daughter, Alexandra Phoenix Hunter. We don't know when you will read this, either a special day where we will give it to you when you need it the most or maybe a birthday but we thought we would write you a letter explaining a quest we will send you on whilst we are not with you. We have written 10 letters for all the milestones in your life, some are placed around at home and others will come naturally. If you find them, read them and DO 50 PULL UPS..." the last part was obviously scribbled by my dad which caused me to laugh the tears away. "Like I was saying, read them and you will know what to do. But right now we just want you to know that we love you to the moon and back, you changed our lives so much and we couldn't be more thankful to have such a beautiful, brave, intelligent daughter. We love you so much and we hope you find peace in your future and reach all your dreams with your head held high. Anyways this letter is getting too long now and you are getting home from school any minute now so we are going to hide and scare you when you get back, inside this box is a video we made for you as well as a song I wrote for you, play it loud and proud. Love you eternally, Mom and Dad."
All I could do was smile and laugh, looking inside the box I pulled out a note book and opened it to the first page. On the top was my name scribbled along with a song. Standing up I sat at my mom's piano and placed the notebook down, playing the song and singing along I knew I was going to cry but had to keep it in, I had to be strong. It was beautiful.
Once I finished I started to smile as everyone looked in awe. This was the first time Derek and his team had heard me play and I could tell they enjoyed it by the looks on their faces. Closing the piano I went back to the box and pulled the final thing out, a Dvd. Putting it into the Dvd player connected to the TV I pressed play and sat next to Derek as we all watched the collection of home videos of my father and I messing around. (Video linked above: Watch it all for a feeling of some of the clips her dad included of them).
As the movie played on repeat I looked around and noticed that my mom's brother had walked out. I hadn't spoken to him before today, so I knew I had to check on him and make the first move. As everyone was still watching I stood up and walked out quietly.
"Hey..."
"Alexandra...."
"Uncle...."
"Leo. Yeh im not surprised you had to ask."
"Im sure she would have told me about you when I was older, she just didn't get the chance too.."
"No, I get it... it's nice to finally meet you Alexandra."
"You too, how are you?"
"Me? I should be the one asking you that, you are my niece at the end of the day."
"Yeh, I guess you're right... Well im getting there, I will be fine later on, it's just a shock to see their faces again after so long..."
"You can say that again." smiling, I knew I had to ask.
"What happened between you and my mom?" he looked down but indicated me to sit down on the bench outside my porch. Sitting down he sat next to me and filled me in.
"Our parents never wanted her to join the army and they really didn't want her to marry your dad. They were kids when they met and they were always fooling around. Anyways one night she left me a note saying that she couldn't live the way she was forced too and she was joining the army with Phoenix. She promised to stay in contact and she knew I would back her choice no matter what. But a few months later we got a phone call saying she had passed away on a mission and I stopped hearing from her. Then out of nowhere I was woken up by a phone call about month ago, to tell me that she hadn't passed away then, but she had actually passed away on a mission now, leaving you... my only niece alone. So I came to the funeral for her, and for you. I know you have been through a lot, and I know this is really surprising for you also, which is why I didn't want to get in your way... im sorry Alexandra, I should have asked more questions, I should have known years ago she hadn't passed away and that she had a daughter...." As he finished off he started to cry so I held his hand and started to hug him, once again holding back the tears.
"It's okay, please.... It's going to be okay...I promise." I smiled as we parted once he calmed down. We spoke for what seemed like hours about her and how I wasn't upset with him but just confused. We had walked back in as I realised a lot of people had started to leave. Walking in, it was just the normal bunch in the house. Derek's family, team, Linc, Nessa and Blake.
Sitting back on the couch I looked around and sighed.
"What do I do?"
"What do you mean?" Derek answered before anyone else could.
"Do I pack all their stuff up? Do I sell the house? Am I supposed to just live with you or can I come back to base and live here?" so many questions yet not enough answers.
"You don't need to think about that now; we will sort it out later on." Vicky answered.
"No...we don't have time later, we need to leave first thing in the morning... I have to sort it all out before I go..." standing up in the middle of the room I looked at everything whilst spinning around to eye the four corners of the room.
"Alexandra, please just sit down." Blake stood up and walked towards me.
"No Blake...I can't... I won't." As I refused I found it a lot harder to breathe, I was stuttering and felt really hot as my hands started to get clammy.
"Alexandra, you need to look at me and breathe..." I looked straight at him.
"You're having a panic attack, you're good." He reassured me as I took 3 deep breathes.
"Blake, I have to leave in a few hours....I don't want to leave, this is my home."
"I know it is, this is always going to be your home, you are the army baby after all and no one can take that away from you, but you know why you can't be here, but I promise you I will try my hardest to get you back."
"So will I, we are all trying Alexandra. You just have to trust us." Ruth butted in as she walked through the front door.
"You promise?"
"Cross my heart.." she smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Ruth...Shit Ruth I need to talk to whoever is in charge of ...you know what..." my mood went from 0-100 real quick as Olinskey, the bombings and all the signs popped back into my head. I hadn't told anyone yet but I needed to.
"You can, tomorrow... but you need sleep right now, it's been a long day." she tried to dismiss the situation.
"I can't... its important, I have information." I urged as she started to walk out.
"Tomorrow...."
"I'm leaving in a few hours, please Ruth! You have to help me..."
"Alexandra whatever you are going to say...stop."
"He's coming for me! God Dam it just LISTEN!" again my mood switched up, as I was now starting to get angry.
"He's not... don't worry."
"Don't worry? I WAS BLOWN UP a few weeks ago... or did you forget that?"
"We haven't forgotten Alexandra, it's just complicated right now, there is a lot of stuff going on and I really do have to get back to base. I will see you before you leave, I promise." With that she walked out completely ignoring me.
"Fuck...FUCK!..."
"Alex...she's right, you need to sleep." Axel spoke up.
"Yeh... I will. We all do, why don't you guys go back to the hotel, take Linc and Nessa with you. I have to sort some things out here with Blake, he will drop me off later on." I smiled and walked towards the door. After 5 minutes everyone had finally listened to me and left the house. It was now only Blake and I.
"I need you to talk to the pact for me, fill them in if I can't."
"Yeh, sure...what's going on." with that I filled Blake in with everything from the start. We tried to talk about the mission but I had so many blanks in my memory that I couldn't remember a lot of the details so we left it at what I thought I had found out.
We decided it was best for me to pack any last minute things and to lock up. We all needed sleep as we had to fly out soon. Turning off the final light to my house I locked up and made my way back to the hotel. A few hours had passed and we had all started to board the plane. I was the last to get on as I was saying bye to Blake and the rest of the base. As I finished hugging everyone Ruth walked towards me.
"There's a situation, you need to leave now."
"Ruth, what's going on? Do you need back up? I can stay, I can fight with you! This is my base!"
"No, you need to go... now. I will explain later, I promise, just please leave."
"You're kicking me off my own base? And not letting me fight, wow..."
"Stop it Alexandra! Just get away from here."
"Fine." Looking away from her I walked to Blake, kissed his cheek then walked up the stairs leading to the plane. Not looking back I walked straight in and found an empty area of the plane, away from everyone. Looking out from the window I felt another tear fall but wiped it away. Im sick of crying! Especially for a place where I'm no longer welcome. Without thought I shut the window so I couldn't look out, placed my headphones on and shut my eyes.
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Hey ! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter! I'm sorry its really long winded, I promise this is just a filler chapter, as there is a lot of stuff going to happen later on! Hope you didn't find it too boring!
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