I woke up slowly, my eyes fluttering. The bright light from the early morning sun shined through the window and on to my face. I looked around unfamiliar with my surroundings. Once I was fully awake, I was aware I was in my living room. My head throbbed as the burning memories of the night before gushed into my mind.
I can't believe it. Austin does love me. Robert explained to me in vivid detail how madly in love with me Austin was. Ever since he met me he liked me. Ya, he dated other girls, but Rob said that was because he was trying to get his mind off of me. This can't be happening. It pained me that I didn't even know if I loved him back. I know what it's like to be in his shoes.
I glanced over at the couch from the big cushy chair to look over at Austin. He was still fast asleep, one of his arms hanging off the side. I groaned loudly knowing I would have to face him when he woke up. I mean he might not remember what happened last night, but I do.
"Well good morning to you too" Austin grumbled. My heart skipped a beat not knowing he was awake.
"I didn't know you were awake." I mumbled closing my eyes again.
I wanted to just fall asleep until he left so I didn't have to talk to him. It's messed up, but it's the only way I was gonna get through my day.
"Every time I open my eyes I puke my brains out." He breathed. Boo hoo poor Austin.
"That's what you get for doing stupid shit like you did last night." I snapped. I was gonna give him attitude if I wanted. The boy put me through hell last night.
"What's with the tude?" He asked with a bit of annoyance in his tone.
"Do you even remember what happened last night?" I questioned not caring if he was annoyed with my 'tude' or not. He should be grateful for what I did for him last night. He could have gotten really hurt or worse and I forced my self to tolerate that stupid party for 5 hours to make sure he didn't.
"Not really," He mumbled. "But I'm pretty sure that it wasn't bad enough for you to bitch at me."
That was it. I snapped. I sat up and stared at him anger pulsing through my body. Ungrateful little shit.
"Get out." I commanded. I jumped out of the chair and walked over to where he was laying.
"What?" He asked, his eyes still closed.
"You heard me Austin, get out!" I said, ripping the quilt covering his body off of him. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot waiting for him to move. He squinted a bit so he could look up at me.
"Why?" He questioned.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!," I started, flailing my arms all over the place. "I got you out of that party before the cops came, I stopped you from drunk driving, I called your mom and covered for you, and now your being rude and ungrateful so you need to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I yelled. He opened his eyes all the way and I was somewhat afraid that he was going to throw up all over me. Not wanting to take any chances, I walked over to the other side of the room, where I had left my purse on the floor last night. I rummaged around, searching for his keys. My phone wasn't in there, so I walked to the kitchen to go get it. I could hear him shift around from the other room. I sighed deeply. I hate getting angry at him. But, when he acted like an asshole I wasn't going to all the sudden flip my personality and not stand up for myself. I grabbed my phone from the counter and made my way to Austin, yawning loudly in the process.
Once I got to the living room, Austin was shirtless and was sitting on the edge of the couch with his head in his hands. I threw his keys on to the coffee table in front of him.
"There's frozen waffles in the freezer you can heat up before you leave." I mumbled, sleepily making my way to the stairs. What?, I wasn't gonna not give him food. He didn't respond. I slowly made my way upstairs into my room.
My room was a light pinkish coral color, with white wood furniture. My bed had a white comforter covered with pink and orange cheetah print.
I threw myself into my bed, snuggling up under the blanket. I was so tired and irritated that I just wanted to sleep for the rest of the day. I unlocked my phone and checked the time. 3:00. 3 hours later than usual on a Saturday. My mom would be at work for another 2 hours. So i was here. Alone. Without thinking I sent out a text in the group message with the boys in it last night.
One of ya'll needs to come over and hang out with me today because I need someone to cheer me up.
No response. I groaned loudly and slammed my phone on my bedside table. Austin probably got to them first and made them think I was being a bitch for no reason.
I heard the front door open.
"Bye Leah." Austin yelled from downstairs with no emotion in his tone.
"Bye." I called back. And with that, he closed the front door and left. Him and I haven't had a fight in a long time, being that he was away most of the time. So being angry at each other was a big deal for us. My phone buzzed repeatedly. I checked my screen to see who the caller ID was, and a picture of me and Zach being "thug" lit up my screen. The picture of the two of us never failed to make me smile.
Now before you ask, no I do not have feelings for any of the boys. They were all the best friends I could ever ask for. Plus, the thought of dating any one of them creeped me out because I thought of them all like my brothers. And they all treated me like their sister. I kissed Robert once in like 9th grade, but it was a dare and we just laughed about it afterwards. This is why Austin having a "thing" for me is an issue.
"Hi Zachary." I answered.
"Hello Squeeze." He responded with a bunch of random noise behind him. In the distance, Alex yelled to Zach to put his pants back on and Zach told him to shut up. I giggled a bit.
"So all of us are together today, and we got your text, what do you wanna do?"
That's what I love about these boys. They don't pressure me into saying anything I don't want to, and they know if I wanna tell them about what's on my mind, ill tell them. They respect my privacy, and know their boundaries. None of the boys that I've met or been in a relationship with can compare to them.
"Do you think the fair is crowded?" I asked. I really wanted to do something fun with all of them, because we haven't done much since all of them got back from touring with Austin.
"No don't think so." He answered. I got really excited to spend time with the guys there. But, should I invite Austin? I mean, we were probably both in a bad mood and just really cranky because we just woke up.
"Cool, I'll pick you guys up in like an hour." I said, pulling my self out of bed so I could get ready to go out.
"Cool, see you later." He said.
"Zach?" I called out to make sure he heard me before he hung up.
"Ya?" He questioned. I was timid for a second. I could just say 'nothing,never mind' but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
"Can you tell Austin I'm coming to get him too?" I pleaded. I was honestly nervous to ask Austin myself because I didn't know how he would react. I mean, I just kicked him out of my house.
"Why can't you tell him?" He questioned.
"We got in a little fight this morning. It was really nothing, but I want him to come and I don't know if he'll respond to me." I stated.
"Alright, I'll tell him. See ya later."
"Bye." I hung up my iPhone and quickly made my way to the bathroom across the hall to take a shower. I hopped in, and took a quick 5 min shower. As soon as I got out I took 45 minutes to blow out my hair with a round brush to make sure it was straight. Straightening it that way gave my hair so much more sleek and shine, and didn't damage it. With 5 minutes to spare before I should leave the house to pick up the boys, I threw on a grey zip up hoodie, a pair of Hollister shorts and my old beat up pair of black converse.
I quickly made my way down the stairs and to the kitchen to grab my keys from my light pink juicy couture purse. I prayed that it didn't smell like alcohol from the strong smell of the party last night, luckily, it didn't. I sent a text to Zach that I was on my way.
I ran out of the house and straight to my car. My car was a white ford escape XLT. When I first got the car when I was 16, I sprayed the car down with light pink spray paint, and after all my car has been through, you could still see the paint, but not very well. You had to be close to the car to appreciate it.
It was a short drive down the block and around the corner to Zach's house, but when Austin was home, he stayed in his grandpa's house in the town over. His Mema died about a year ago but he doesn't like to talk about it.
Even though it was maybe a ten minute drive to get Austin, the boys never failed to make a huge scene the entire way. Alex sat up front and blasted my radio, and all the boys sang to every song so loud with all the windows rolled down. They just always made me so happy.
Once we got to Austin's house, I parked the car and told the boys to stay in the car. I timidly made my way from the driveway to the front door. I took a deep breath in and out before knocking on the huge wood front door and ringing the door bell. I heard yelling from inside. I assumed it was Michele, his lovely mom that I've known forever, and him having a conversation from across the gigantic house.
Austin opened the door, a sad sober look on his face. We looked at each other in the eyes for a good five seconds. An awkward silence hung in the air and I glanced down at my shoes getting really uncomfortable. Just looking at his face made me feel guilty at how I got mad at him this morning. Like, what if he really did love me in the romantic way that Rob said he did? Did this make him feel even worse than it would make any of my other friends?
Before I could speak, he embraced me in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms protectively around my entire body and gripped my jacket in his big rough hands. It felt so comfortable when he held me. His strong arms were like safety to me. I threw my arms around his neck and stood on my tippy toes so I could rest my chin on his shoulder. I held on to him as tightly as possible, and closed my eyes, savoring the moment.
"I'm so sorry about last night." His deep raspy sleepy voice was muffled by my hoodie. He was so vulnerable and innocent in that moment. This was the Austin I knew and missed. Sweet and nice.
"I'm sorry for having an attitude with you this morning." I said. We slowly slipped away from our hug and looked at each other. I gave him a faint smile and he returned the favor. "Let's go?" I asked, holding out my hand for him. He intertwined his fingers into mine. And for some weird reason, I got this amazing sensation that ran through my body. It sent chills down my spine and made goosebumps rise on my arms. It was probably because I was happy about us being okay with each other.
I tugged him towards the car, and our hands slipped away as I got into the drivers seat and he took an extra step towards the back. I looked at him before he got in. He had huge dark bags under his eyes and his cheeks were streaked with tears.
"Are you okay?" I asked before we got in. He shrugged his shoulders.
"Still a little hungover, that's all." He said but in a way mumbled. I half smiled at him.
"I could only imagine."
* * *
The fair only came to San Antonio for 2 weeks a month before school ended. It was huge and much better than any other type of fair I had ever gone to. I've been going since I was a little girl and now I just like to go and have fun with my friends.
We got our tickets and got in pretty quickly. "What do you wanna do first?" Robert asked peering at all of us.
"Rides!" I called out before anyone could answer. Ya, all the rides were kiddy rides but they were cute and fun to play around on. We all walked in a little herd on the dirt path, past all the little shows. All the way at the back of the field were the rides.
All of us got unlimited ride wristbands, and stood by the side of the ticket booth to decide what we wanted to go on first. I surveyed Austin as the boys argued over whether we were going on the bumper cars or the swings first.
He had on grey sweats, a ratty old white t shirt, and a pair of high top white Air Force 1s. He was slouched over with one hand in is pocket, the other one holding his phone. His messy curly hair was pushed off his forehead into a huge mess. To be honest, it was kind of sexy in a weird way. His eyes had dark bags under them. If I didn't know any better, I would think he hadn't slept in days. He had an unreadable expression on his face as he listened in on the boy's argument. I had so many questions to ask him. I just needed him alone for 5 seconds. Unfortunately, that wasn't happening anytime soon.
The boys minus Austin came to the conclusion that we would go on the swings first. Finally. We all strolled over to the line and stood behind all the little kids.
"Uh Leah?" Robert called over the constant screaming of children.
"Ya?" I answered, directing my attention to him.
"I think Carson is here." Ex boyfriend. Pretty face, total jerk. Harassed me every time he saw me.
"Your kidding me right?" I knitted my eyebrows together. He shook his head no. All of the boys looked in the direction Rob was looking. I just stared at the ground, hoping he wouldn't recognize me from behind.
"He's here." Alex sighed. I groaned. I was so not in the mood to deal with all his bullshit tonight.
"Just don't bring any attention to us okay? I don't want him bothering us." Carson was never a fan of the boys. One out if the many many reasons why I dumped him. We dated for all of junior year, and by summer I was just so fed up with him that I got rid of him. Best decision of my life.
The line started to move, and all the kids in front of us sprinted inside the fence around the ride. Most of the kids swarmed around the seats closest to the line. The boys and I walked to the other side where it was almost empty. I sat down in a 2 seater and Robert quickly joined me. Next to us, Zach sat by himself, and behind us Austin and Alex sat in a 2 seater.
The ride took off and started to spin. I should have been having fun, but all I could do was worry. Worry about Austin, worry about Carson, worry about everything. I pretended to have a good time, but every time I looked behind me at Austin, he had a pouty face on.
The ride ended quickly, and the boys ran out of the exit. Austin and I trudged behind them.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"I told you, I'm hungover." He sighed.
"I'm just, I'm, whatever." I said, frustrated that I couldn't get an answer out of him. It irked me so much that he didn't remember any of last night, so it was so hard to bring up the whole "love" thing.
We hit up a couple more kiddy rides and I loosened up a little bit. If I can't get an answer out if Austin, what's the point in trying? We all came to the decision that we would go get something to eat and then walk through the petting zoo and all the horses and what not.
We were all talking and laughing, walking towards all the food stands, when king asshole decided he was going to harass me. "Hey Leah!" Carson called from behind me. I slowly turned my body to face him, as he ran towards me. I crossed my arms as he entered my personal bubble. His cool minty breath grazed my face, sending terrified chills down my spine. Why doesn't he just leave me alone? All the boys crowded behind me ready to pounce on him if he made one wrong move.
"Long time no see." He said in his low raspy voice. He went to wrap his hand around my back but I hit it away. I was so fed up with him. But all at the same time, I was petrified of him. Carson did not understand personal space and was a little let's just call it "hands on" and "aggressive". No, nothing really bad happened when we were together but he tried stuff on me and after a while he finally got it through his thick skull that if he did hurt me, my boys would get him.
"What do you want?" I snapped. My voice was strong and still, but I could feel my knees lock and fingers tremble.
"Ohh feisty." Carson said coolly. He grabbed my hips tightly pulling me closer to him. Gasping, I quickly grabbed his hands to try and pull him off of me. The harder I struggled the harder he held on. My hips were burning, and I could hear the boys yelling behind me at him to let go of me. Carson bit his lip and took a deep breath in. Tears started to form in my eyes and my heart was pounding so hard and fast that it could have exploded any second.
"Hey!" Austin yelled getting closer to me. "I SAID TO GET THE FUCK OFF HER." He screamed. I gasped as Austin shoved Carson with all his strength to get him off me. I stumbled backwards, Rob immediately putting his hand on my shoulder. By this time, most of the teenagers that heard the screaming had gathered around us in anticipation of a fight. Oh dear god no. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" Austin yelled into Carson's face. In all these years I've been friends with Austin, I've never seen him so...angry. He looked like he was gonna kill somebody.
"Watcha gonna do about it?" Carson challenged. Robert's hand slightly tightened on my shoulder. I looked behind me at Zach then turned to face Rob and then turned my head to face Alex. They all wore blank stares and slightly gaped mouths. Austin clenched his fists.
"Austin don't! He's not worth it." I called out so he could hear me over the murmurs of the little "audience" we had attracted. He seemed to take a deep breath out, totally ignoring me. He's gonna fight him. He's actually going to get in to a physical fight. Ya, Austin's strong and wrestles the boys a lot, but he never fights to intentionally hurt someone. I went to take a step in to grab Austin away, and in the blink of and eye, they were going at each other. Fists were flying, elbows were being used to hurt one another, it was madness.
Alex, Rob, and Zach all ran in to separate them from each other. Rob held on to Austin's arm, and Alex and Zach latched onto Carson's arms. I can't believe what just freaking happened. Austin Carter Mahone, one of the sweetest guys I know started a physical fight. All so Carson would leave me alone. My pulse raced as I stood and watched as all the boys standing in front of me took deep breaths and stared at each other, waiting for someone to say something. It took me a second to register everything. What if Austin really got hurt while that was happening? What if a police officer came over and got them in trouble? What would happen if the paparazzi snapped a photo of the little tussle that just went on? Oh my god. Austin just risked his entire reputation...for me. He really does love me. He didn't even have to come out and say it to me. He just showed it. Not in the way I would have liked, but still. I felt like bursting into tears. I can't believe it.
"I'm gonna say it once, and I'm not going to say in again. Leave Leah alone." Austin growled. His muscles were still tight, his fists still clenched, and his feet were planted firmly on the ground.
Carson shook Zach and Alex off his arms. He had a bruise forming on his right cheek. I could only imagine what Austin looked like. He scoffed with a little smirk in his face, and then jogged in the opposite direction, like nothing had just happened. Rob slowly let go of Austin, and I could see him relax. The boys all huddled together for a good ten seconds. All I could do was stand and watch. If I even moved a muscle, I knew I would start sobbing. I am so thin skinned its not even funny.
Austin turned around to face me. He had a busted lip, but that was pretty much it. He slowly walked towards me, his head hanging low. He opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him. "Don't you ever do that again! You scared me half to death!" I commanded. He lifted his head a bit, just so he could look at me. His beautiful hazel green eyes peered into mine, and I was more scared at that moment than angry. It scared me that he could have got really hurt. The boy is practically my entire life. Before he could respond, I roughly threw my arms around him, digging my head into his chest. I tightly held on to him, engulfing him in the biggest hug I could possibly give him. It caught him by surprise, but he quickly returned the favor, holding me in his big strong arms. I tightly closed my eyes, wanting to embrace the moment.
"I just don't want anything to ever hurt you." He murmured.