Kestrelfur felt a lump in her throat as she padded over to Waspstar. She felt her fur fluffing up, but she forced it to lie flat.
When she had almost reached him Nightblaze stepped in her way. "What are you doing?" Her hackles were raised and her eyes glittered with hostility.
"It's okay," said Waspstar, coming forward. He looked casual, as though he hadn't just killed a clan leader.
Nightblaze dipped her head and stepped back.
Waspstar looked excited at first, but then his face fell and he shuffled his paws awkwardly. "Are you... okay?"
Kestrelfur wasn't sure whether he was referring to Rainfoot and Morningleaf's deaths or the fox attack. "Yeah, I'm doing fine."
There was a moment of awkward silence between them. Kestrelfur felt her heart thumping, not sure what to do. She couldn't kill him now, with everyone watching. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
"I need to speak privately with you," she said, making up her mind.
"Great," said Waspstar, sounding bright. "Let's go to those tunnels from before!"
They were about to leave, when Cherrynose came up to them. "Oh no you don't!"
"What?" asked Waspstar, turning to face her.
"I need to treat your wounds," said Cherrynose sternly and stubbornly.
"I'll be fine," Waspstar snapped. "I'll get them treated when I get back."
If you get back, thought Kestrelfur. She felt like she had a wad of cotton in her throat; it was hard to swallow.
--
They arrived at the entrance to the tunnel. Kestrelfur remembered how she discovered it: she was running and then fell into the hole. She had been so excited, not realizing that one day it would be the location where she'd become a murderer.
Waspstar went in first, and Kestrelfur squeezed in after him. Since they had both grown since their last visit, it was harder to get through the entrance.
When they were fully in the tunnel, it opened up around them so that they had more room. The earth beneath their paws seemed rough and hard, not squishy mud like their last visits. Perhaps things really could change over time.
"Now, what is it?" asked Waspstar with a flick of his ear. His amber eyes seemed to be glowing, and he had a grin on his face that caused sparks to flicker under Kestrelfur's fur. No, no, no, no.
She took a deep breath. She had to talk to him first, one last time. She started with, "I'm pregnant."
Waspstar's eyes glowed brighter and his smile widened. "Oh, how wonderful!" he purred. "Let's start thinking of names! You said that in your visions there was a tom named Tigerkit, right? And the others were she-cats. Lets name the she-cats Alderkit and... how 'bout Sagekit?"
Kestrelfur felt something drop in her stomach. "Those are beautiful names."
Waspstar was looking at her intently, and Kestrelfur had to turn away so that he wouldn't notice the tears brewing in her eyes. Unfortunately, Waspstar noticed and asked, "What's wrong?"
Kestrelfur squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't tell him. "You killed Rainfoot and Morningleaf. How could you?"
She felt Waspstar tense. "I thought Frostfire told you."
"She did!" snapped Kestrelfur, suddenly feeling a surge of anger. "I meant how could you kill Rainfoot, who went through apprentice training with us?"
Waspstar tensed. "I asked him to show loyalty to his clan, and he wouldn't."
"You're lying," whispered Kestrelfur. "I can tell."
"Well... that was only part of it," he said apologetically. "Mostly because I noticed the way you looked at him... like you had a crush on him but couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to help you."
The wad of cotton in her throat dug deep, becoming stronger. She felt like she couldn't think.
"Something else is bugging you," said Waspstar. Kestrelfur clamped her jaw. Why is he so perceptive today!
"It just... it feels like everything is ending," she said, the words stuttering out.
"But this is a beginning!" said Waspstar. "We're going to bring peace to the clans and rule them together. We'll be heroes!"
"By killing everyone who is useless?" she asked, looking up at him. Just then she noticed how much bigger he was compared to her. He might as well be a TigerClan warrior.
"It's to make the clans stronger," said Waspstar. "It's our destiny."
"No it's not," mumbled Kestrelfur.
"What?"
She took a shaky breath. She might as well be truthful with him since this was their last time together. "While I was gone I went to the Moonboulders and StarClan visited me. They said that we aren't destined to rule the clans together. That's not our destiny."
"But it is!" said Waspstar, as though saying it loudly would make it true. "Haven't you always felt it? It is our duty. I've known it since I've opened my eyes."
It's your duty, she almost said, but she didn't because she had learned that sometimes it's better to hold your tongue.
Kestrelfur looked down at her paws. "I just... I—I... I don't feel like a belong in Cloud—er, FlightClan anymore."
"Hey..." said Waspstar, surprisingly gentle. "It's gonna be okay. I'll make it okay. I'll get you anything you want."
Kestrelfur didn't respond, feeling the emptiness expand within her, threatening to shatter her heart. She felt Waspstar's tail slowly tangle around hers. Finally, she looked up at him. He had grown so much since they were apprentices. His shoulders had grown broader, his chest higher, his pelt thicker and sleeker. He really would be a terrifying opponent. It's no wonder that he had easily killed two leaders.
Their heads came together, then their muzzles. Kestrelfur felt sparks surging under her fur, and she knew Waspstar felt them too. She breathed in his scent one last time: piney like the woods. She hoped he wouldn't notice how shaky her breaths were or how much it hurt to swallow. She hoped he couldn't see the tears forming in her eyes.
She wanted to stay there, with him, for the rest of her life. But that wouldn't happen. She had a destiny.
But maybe she wouldn't have to kill him. I'll test him.
"Waspstar," she said, pulling her muzzle apart from his. "Let's not go to battle. I don't care if we rule all the clans. Let's stop killing cats and let GladeClan return to their own clan. Let's just rule CloudClan only."
"No!" said Waspstar, shaking his head. "We're supposed to rule all the clans and make them stronger. We're already halfway there! I'm not turning back now."
"Please."
"No!" he said, almost shouting. He began to shake. "Don't you see? It's too late to go back. I've killed far too many cats. I was the kit who knew there was a destiny waiting for him, I would imagine killing all the cats who got in my way, knowing it was for the best. But when I actually went to do all this stuff... it was worse than I thought. But it's too late; I'm not turning back because I can't turn back."
She felt a stab of pity for him. She knew what it was like to be a kit, dreaming of a huge destiny awaiting them. Still, it was wrong. What he's done, and what he will do.
It's too late to turn back.
It's never too late to do the right thing.
She pressed her forehead to his, feeling his soft fur. She sniffled. She licked his cheek, and he licked hers in return.
She squeezed her eyes shut. "I love you. Please forgive me."
And then she slid her claws through his throat.
A/N::
... I have nothing to say :'(
//Edited