I couldn't move my feet if I wanted to, they're absolutely frozen to the spot. I could even start to believe that I've turned into a statue, if it weren't for the horrendous noise my thundering heart is making in my chest. My mouth is bone dry, an ice cold fear trickles up and down my spine.
And the source of all this terror...my phone.
An unknown number is calling me, and there's only one name I can think who might be attached to it. After all, I did give him my number during our random, middle of the night meeting. It's the one person I never want to speak to again. But also, the only person I yearn to talk to as well.
He's a player...I should ignore him.
But he's Zac...maybe I shouldn't, but I like him.
Maybe I should just see what he has to say, just incase it magically explains everything else away. I'm probably just giving myself an excuse to do what I already know I want to, but I nod along with my mind, succumbing to temptation.
"Hello?"
No one answers for a moment, leading me to completely doubt myself. I might've just got myself totally worked up for no reason. It could even be a wrong number.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
"Oh hi, Rae! It's me, Zac."
Right, of course it is. So now what? I rack my brain for a moment, desperately hunting for something to say, but frustratingly my mind has now deserted me leaving me with nothing but a big black hole of nothingness.
"How are you, Rae?"
Stressed...why haven't you rung me? You've had my number for days! Are you just a player, messing about with my emotions? Am I just another one in the long list of girls you've kissed?
"F...fine." I wimp out, stammering a pitiful, bland answer instead of all the real things I want to say. The remain locked away in a box. "How about you?"
For the first time in my life, I wish I had more experience with boys and dating. This is like a minefield and I'm stranded without even a map for company.
"Mhmmm, would you like to hang out again later?" He sounds oddly distracted this time as he talks. A desperate need claws in my chest, I have to know more, but there's no way I'm going to build up the confidence to outright ask now.
"Yeah, sure," I hear myself answering before I've made any real decision either way. I shouldn't go out with him again, I know that. He's not the sort of guy I should be getting involved with...but somehow, I can't help myself. Just the sound of his voice is making me shiver with excitement. I want to see him again, to spend time with him, to kiss him. Even if it isn't the best idea.
Plus, I need to understand him better. I trust Emma, I believe every word she told me, but the tugging in my chest is too powerful to ignore.
"Okay great, meet me at the beach at eight?"
"Sure," I agree, feeling way more excited than I should do. I'm an idiot, I know I am. I just can't help myself. Teenage lust circles my brain, controlling everything I do. "See you then."
As I hang up the phone I begin to regret my decision a little bit. Curiosity shouldn't make me act crazy, I'm supposed to be acting smarter now.
Then again, maybe it's better I see him now before starting school—if school even starts—just to work him out a bit better. Maybe this is the smart thing to do. After all, going in with no information would be so much worse...wouldn't it?