By Jay
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Honestly I never expected it to happen the way it did, and I hoped to god they were supportive about it, but boy was I wrong. Oh so wrong.
I live in a house where I'm not entirely happy, sure I got food, I got water, I got clothes on my back, I got a roof over my head, but I'm not happy here, I never was happy here, I wasn't happy anywhere we moved to. My mother hates me because I wasn't born a boy, she hates me because I'm not the person she wants to me to be, she hates me because she doesn't believe I have mental problems, she hates me because she thinks I lie about everything. My mother is a lesbian and has been one for as long as I can remember, she was a lesbian when I was a born and a lesbian when my brother was born, she's been a lesbian her whole life probably.
There was a time where everything was alright, everything was going swell, but when my brother was born...she changed dramatically, we weren't as close anymore, she stopped paying attention to me, she stopped worrying about me, and she started trying to treat me like I was already an adult, claiming I needed to set an example for this kid that was coming into the world. I hated my brother then and I hate him now, he does nothing but treat me like shit, I can't believe I want to kill my self because of a ten year old child.
In late December to late January my mother was complaining about me, she didn't like the fact that when I was twelve I denied kissing a friend of mine, she didn't like the fact that I allegedly told my brother it was a sin to be a homosexual when I was twelve. She doesn't understand that twelve year olds aren't mature enough to understand what it going on in their mind and why they feel different or not different towards different people with different sexualities. I was still learning what genders and sexualities were back then and it was hard for me to understand what was going on. But two months ago, I decided it was time to come out to my mother and while she was complaining about me, I told her I wasn't exactly straight and she became hostile, claiming it was out of the blue that I was telling her this. Said that it wasn't true and that I was lying, she's a lesbian and I thought she'd be more supportive, boy was I super wrong. My brother became more supportive later on, but still treated me like shit and still does so. My boyfriend was immediately supportive about it and so was my friends.
I also came out to my family the same day as Agender, a person who feels nothing towards a certain gender, I already came out to them about that in 2016, but guess she didn't listen. But when I came out to her as Agender as well, she still decided to claim I was telling her this out of the blue, that I was lying.
My friends were pissed, but my boyfriend was more pissed at my mother then anyone else would be, she's been treating me like shit for years because she wanted a boy and there she goes, a lesbian claiming her panromantic asexual child came out out of the blue.
Exactly when should I have came out to her? Should I have scheduled meeting with her? Should I have told my manager first? Or should I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist before I told her?
But I finally released the rainbow, that's the only thing that matters to me while I'm still living under her roof.