"I won... again." My little brother didn't seem very excited about his victory. "Thalia, are you even trying?"
I looked down at the chess board and struggled to bring my mind back to the game. "I'm sorry, Jakey. I'm just a little tired." I said as I massaged my temples. I won school chess competitions effortlessly but now I was losing to my thirteen year old brother.
"We can stop playing if you're not in the mood." Jakey said, shrugging his shoulders as he wiped the game board clean of the pieces.
I couldn't believe I was eighteen now. Birthdays used to be so fun, so lively. Jakey and I looked forward to them. We never had much but we always made the best out of the situation. We baked our own cake, decorated our meager apartment room with ripped newspapers that we dipped in paint and played board games till midnight. My mother would give us a present too - that was the most exciting part. It was usually something small but I appreciated anything I was given.
Today it was different. Everything seemed bleak and dreary. I couldn't be fully expressive when I spoke to my mother and she had nothing much to say to me. I couldn't help but wonder why she was acting so distant. It was disheartening watching her intently stare out the window, not uttering a single word, as if she was deeply bothered by something.
"Mum." I called for her.
She turned to look at me with a blank expression before returning a small smile. "Are you hungry?" She asked.
"No." I replied. "Just wanted to let you know that I love the hat." She and Jakey had gotten me a green fedora hat from a second-hand shop down the street. I actually didn't want presents from anybody, especially not from my mother. Everyone had been extra nice to me since I got released but I didn't feel like I deserve it.
"I'm glad you like it." She said in a voice a little louder than a whisper.
Then our conversation ended.
"This birthday stinks." My brother complained, tucking the board game box under his arm as he stood up.
"We'll play another game." I tried to enliven things a little.
"I know you don't want to, Lia." He was right, and I remained silent, unable to think of an appropriate reply. He took off to the room he shared with my mother, for a nap I supposed. I was left in the cramped living room with my mother who was now fixated on a novel as she gently rocked her wooden chair.
I felt suffocated.
I made my way to my room and locked myself in it. It was a lot smaller than the living room and there was barely any space to walk around but atleast the tension wasn't there anymore. I knelt down and reached under my bed. I pulled out an antique box and set it on my lap. I took a careful look around the room before clicking it open to reveal the necklace Harry had given to me. I smiled at the sight before gently taking the glimmering object in my hand. I stood up and faced the mirror with the necklace in hand.
I winced at my reflection. My hair was untamed, the ends springing out into a frizz eventhough I'd brushed it numerous times and light bags hung under my eyes. Just when I was about to dwell on my unsightly appearance today, I remembered how Harry took pleasure in gazing at me every chance he got and the multiple times he told me I was beautiful. It made me feel better. I didn't want to be dependent on him for my happiness, but it couldn't be helped. Only the thought of us together could bring a little life back into me.
I clasped the necklace around my neck, it gleamed with the motion. It was so beautiful, contrasting with the rest of my appearance. If only I could wear this whenever I wanted. I inhaled deeply and felt tears gather at the back of my throat. I'd just spent the night with Harry but I was already missing him. Terribly. A sense of anxiety added to the distress I felt. I didn't know what he was doing right now. He could be in the company of Kaylee. Or someone like her. I trusted him but I didn't know how things worked out there, and I was afraid. I was afraid I wouldn't see him again. The last time we parted ways, I didn't see him for weeks. It had been the most excrutiating experience not knowing when or whether I would see him again. I didn't want to go through that again. It scared me how things between us were so uncertain. How long would we have to go on like this?
A voice in my head urged me to stop thinking so much. This was unhealthy. I loved him but I needed to occupy my mind with something else. There was nothing I could do about the current situation Harry and I were in so there was really no point in stressing myself out like this. Staying in the apartment did not help. It was depressing even. I decided that I'd return to work. I was tired yes, but I couldn't sleep either. I moved my hair off my shoulder, straightening it out before tying it up into a ponytail. I needed to make myself appear more presentable. Right then something caught my attention.
I noticed an almost colourless bruise on my neck, right by the jewellery. Harry had kissed me there last night but he hadn't been particularly harsh... or atleast I hadn't realised it. My eyes dropped closed and I felt my cheeks flush as I lightly ran my fingers over the mark, images of the kiss flooding my mind. His lips pressed to my skin, tongue slowly tracing over it, a warm tingling feeling growing at the touch... I found myself smiling at the remembrance.
"Lia." My mother's muffled voice sounded.
My heartbeat raced, as if I'd been caught. "Yes?" I inquired, my tone shaky.
"Come have dinner." She merely said.
"O-Okay. I'm just getting ready for work." I replied as I removed the necklace.
"Work? But you're off today." She said, her voice noticeably drawing closer to the door.
"We could use some extra cash." I told her as I hurriedly bent down to put the necklace back in the box.
"Thalia, I don't want you to feel obligated-"
She was cut off when I pulled the door open. "It's okay, mum." It took a lot to bring out a smile but I pulled it off. I scurried past her towards the dining table, a little edgy from the thoughts I was having earlier.
_____________
My senses were kept alert as I exited the building. Night had come fast. There was a blast of cold wind, it rubbed against my cheeks as I reached to tighten the scarf around my neck. I was glad I had worn my mother's coat. It was thicker and was noticeably coming into good use.
I found myself on the main street after a minute or two. It was customarily empty in daylight but at night, women offered sordid services under the dimly lit street lights. They weren't Baby Dolls, meaning they weren't Richard's property. They belonged to another person who was probably equally heinous. These women were older and had tons of makeup caked on their faces. I'd only seen a few of them since I began working at the cafe but tonight there seemed to be more of them.
Darren usually accompanied me when I walked to the cafe and also on my way back home but I was alone tonight. The walk was barely five minutes but I hated the atmosphere and I wished for his company. I sunk a little into the large coat I was wearing and quickly made my way into the cafe. The glass windows were fogged up and I was thankful for that. I didn't want to see those women outside, I didn't want to be reminded of what I'd gone through.
Only two tables were occupied. Business was slow today. I smiled at Gretchen, the manager who was working at the counter. She maintained a straight face, which wasn't out of the ordinary. I shucked off my coat and tiptoed to hang it up on a stand. All the while I felt eyes on me. I twisted my head and met a man's gaze. He was seated in a far corner and didn't look away. Slightly intimidated by the intensity of his stare, I turned and headed toward the kitchen, taking quick steps.
The door swung as I entered, catching Darren's attention. "Decided to work on your birthday?" He asked with a grin as he peeled off his apron.
Just then I remembered throwing up here and I felt sick all over again, my legs slightly numb from the walk. Maybe I should have just stayed at home. "Yeah. I like keeping myself occupied. Celebration's over anyway." I replied as I looked around for a chair or something I could sit on. "And you're leaving already?" I grabbed a stool and settled on it.
"The repair shop offered me extra cash for the night shift so I took it. I would've cancelled if I'd known you were working tonight."
"I'll be fine." I told him. I knew he was lying about the repair shop but I wasn't going to confront him about his expensive-looking cell phone I found, or the suspicious call that came. The call that Harry answered. Darren obviously knew that someone else was here the night I disappeared from the cafe, and of course he'd think it was Harry. So he knew I had lied about the whole Sarah thing.
"I was going to give this to you after work but... you're here now. So..." Darren reached up to the cabinet and then pulled out a gift box. "Happy birthday." He said as he handed it to me.
"Darren, you didn't have to. You should be saving." I told him eventhough I knew he had money, a lot more than my family did. I was just dying to know what he was up to. I tugged at the ends of the ribbon to loosen it. I hoped it wasn't anything too fancy, I had a feeling it was. But I was proven wrong when I lifted the lid. It was a mug.
"Oh. A mug." I held it by the handle and turned it around, observing the image of a cat that was on it. "Love it." I'd tried to put more emotion into it but failed.
"I know you love cats. Remember Snuffles?"
"Yeah, we kept him in a shoe box under your bed. Your orphanage went crazy over it." I laughed.
"Old times." He lightly touched my chin with his knuckles and watched as I set the mug on the counter. I leaned over the counter, as I was again reminded of Harry. How nice would it be if we could some time together on my birthday? I wondered what he was doing right now.
"Lia? Hello?" Darren waved a hand in my face.
"Huh?"
"You zone out a lot." He commented as he slid his arms into his jacket. "I'm going. I'll try to get things done quick so I can walk you home."
"Okay." I said, turning to face him. "Thanks for the present, by the way-"
Our chat was cut short when the chef waltzed in from the bathroom. His flabby cheeks were raised as he beamed at me. "Little troublemaker." Pablo said in a thick Spanish accent as he wagged a finger in the air. "Happy birthday!" He wished with a loud chortle. "I didn't get the chance to get you a present but somebody else did!"
"I know, it's a mug!" I tried to sound excited.
"What? No! Flowers!" He corrected me. "From your friend Sarah. She left it at the doorstep this afternoon."