Hyuk's POV
I'm still quite suprise that i'm actually here.I actually broke my promise.I promised myself that i won't come back here but i'm here now.
Few minutes ago,i knocked at Hongbin's door but i got no answer at all.So i decided to just make breakfast for both us,trying my best not to give too much pressure on my left wrist or it will sting so painfully.
Suddenly when i was frying the egg,i feel hands wrapped around my waist and i immediately jumped in respond.
"Sorry.....A habit..."He apologized as i just ignore him,more like trying to get rid of the small blush on my cheeks.
"Here."I said as i pass him the plate of bacon and eggs.He thanked me as i sat infront of him and ate mine quickly.
Once both of us are done,i take my plate with my right hand and without thinking,i just take his olate with my left hand.Me being an idiot self,i forgot about the scar on my wrist.
I then winced in pain as i accidentaly dropped the plate.I see the plate shattered into pieces and my face immediately masked in horror.
"I'm s-so sorry."I apologized while trying to clean the pieces but Hongbin stopped me.
"Are you alright?Does your wrist still hurts that bad?You should take a rest."He said and i shake my head.
"I'm fine."I whispered and i heard him sigh.
"I'm so sorry for doing this but you leave me no choice."Before i could even process what he said,i feel he wrapped his hands around my legs as he carried me in bridal style.My cheeks immediately burned in embarrassement while my eyes widens as i trash around his hands.
"H-Hongbin!P-Put me do-"I tried to protest but then just like that,he kissed me on the lips.
And again,being my idiot self,i melted in his kiss and started kissing him back.He mumbled a 'shut up' inside my lips and i can feel his small smile as our lips melted on each other.
I started to close my eyes as i feel he bit my lower lips sexily and i release a small groan.I feel as he slowly lowers his arms so that he slowly puts me down on the couch as his hands slowly trailed behind my neck.He pushed the back of my head softly as he's trying to pull me even closer to him, if it's possible.He then licked my upper lips and i release a small moan.
And that's when i snapped.
I shouldn't be doing this.I can't just let him kiss me like that!Great job Hyuk,you just broke another promise of yours.
I pulled back immediately and when i opened my eyes,Hongbin's eyes are staring right at me.Of course,i couldn't help myself as i blush,hard.
"I'm sorry.I couldn't hold it back."He apologized and i sighed.
"Hongbin...you can't just do that out of nowhere..."I said,trying not to stutter as my mind is still clouded with the kiss.
"I'm so sorry...."He apologized again.
"Hongbin....do you....do you still....nevermind."I mumbled then tried to stand up but then he pushed me back again so i was laying back on the couch again.
"What are yo-"
"What were you about to say?"He cut me off while his eyes are staying at mine the whole time.I quickly broke the eye contact and shake my head.
"Nothing important."I lied and of course,he knew.
"Please stop lying to me..."He plead.
"Nothing.It was a stupid question alright?"I simply replied but he's not having it.
"Tell me."He said while keeping his hand on my shoulder.
"Hongbin...."I silently plead as i remove his hand from my shoulder.
"Tell me..."He said and i mentally sighed.
"Do you still.....please don't make me say it."I plead but he shake his head.
"Do you still want me?"I blurt out and cover my face immediately.
"Well,i think you already know the answer for that."He replied then chuckled after.
"I mean,i keep on telling you to stay away.Why do you still want me then?"I asked while slowly pulling back my hands from my face,which no doubt,is as red as a tomato.
"Have you forgotten that i'm a very stubborn person?"He replied and my lips pressed into a thin line.
"Do you think it's possible for us to be together again?"He asked.
"No.Maybe."Yes.
"Why?"He asked,his voice sounded really sad.
"Because i don't want the same thing happen again."I replied and he frown.
"It won't happen again."He said and i immediately laugh in disbelief at him.
"Hongbin,why can't you just accept the fact that everything about us,it's over.It's over since you fucking slapped me.I don't want to get hurt anymore.I still like you,but i don't want you anymore.Why can't you just understand that i'm trying my best not to fall for you again?Please Hongbin....for both of our sake,stop trying."I said then stands up as i quickly went upstair and to my room.I feel Hongbin's presence behind me as i tried to walk faster to my room.
"Then why did you kiss me back then?!"He exclaimed.
"Because it was a mistake!"I exclaimed back as i quickly slammed the door shut and look it.
"If you really don't want me anymore,then why are you still here?Why aren't you running away?"He asked while slightly banging on the door.I sighed in frustration as i pull my hair while leaning my head on the door.
I just stay quiet as i don't know what to say and he quickly continues,
"You need to accept the truth Hyuk,the truth about us.Stop denying the truth Hyuk!"He exclaimed while banging the door harshly.
I ruffled my hair harshly as i shake my head.No it's all lies.His words are not true!
"Shut up!Shut up shut up shut up!"I exclaimed while roughly pulling my hair.
"You clearly admits that you still like me,yet you're telling me to go away.Stop lying to yourself and just accepts the truth that you still wants me.You still want us.If you don't,you won't be here anymore Hyuk.If you don't,then you would already push me when i kissed you just now.If you do-"I cut him off when i opened the door and hit his chest,hard.
"YOU BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP.SHUT UP HONGBIN!JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!"I yelled while hitting his chest harshly,ignoring the sting on my left wrist.I bet that my face is red,because of anger.
"Hyuk....stop."He just simply said as i hit his chest as hard as i can while he just stay still.I breath heavily as i feel my hands are starting to hurt but i just continue hitting his chest harshly.
"Hyuk....stop."He said one more time as he grabbed both my hands and hold both of them with just his right hand.
"You will hurt yourself."He said softly as he uses his other hand to caressed my cheek softly.
I shake my head immediately to get rid of his hands while my hands tried to escape his grip but his hold is too strong for me.I growl in frustration while his eyes stayed at me the whole time.
"I hate you so much."I growled at him while he sighed at me.
"You don't hate me."He sighed and i childishly step on his foot so i'm standing above his feet.
"You know that it doesn't even hurt right?"He asked while chuckling as i growl.
"STOP FUCKING LAUGHING!"I yelled at his face and he immediately frown at me.
"Hyuk...don't be like this.You're not mad at me,you're mad at yourself."He said and i shake my head in denial.
"No.I hate you!"I said while trying to release his death grip on my wrist.
"Hyuk...stop this."He plead and i glared at him angrily.
"Okay okay!What do you want me to do then?So you're not being like this?"He asked me and i quickly go silent.
What do i want him to do?
I just stay silent for a few moments until he suddenly release a sigh while slightly ruffling my hair.
"See?You don't even know.Stop being so stubborn and just accept the truth Hyuk."He said and i shake my head at him.
"Even if i did,then what?Let the same thing happen again?"I asked and his eyes immediately drops,so as his face.He slowly let my hands go as he pulled his leg back,he muttered a small sorry then he went back to his room with his head hung low.
Don't you dare to feel guilty Hyuk.Don't you fucking dare.
Don't even think of forgiving him just like that!
"Hongbin wait!"What the fuck did you just do?
"Yeah?"He then turned his head and asked.
"I'm sorry...."I apologized while playing with my fingers nervously.
"I'm being an asshole again even though you did nothing wrong..."I continue while he just stared at me.
"I think i forg-"I was cut off when he suddenly grabbed my shoulders.
"No.Don't say that.Don't you dare forgiving me just because you feel guilty. Just....Just take your time..."He said then slowly letting go of my shoulders.He then went inside his room,leaving me spechless.
Okay....Maybe he's kinda right....
Now after i thought about what just happen....i feel so guilty.He was being so patient and kind to me but of course,i just had to be an ass.
I dragged myself to the living room and decided to just waste my time watching TV.I sighed while ruffling my hair as i think about his words.
I'm not suppose to be here.I'm suppose to be moving on,forget everything about Hongbin and live a happy life.
I'm not suppose to be here,still falling for the asshole who hurt me so bad.Why can't i just forget about him?!
Hongbin's POV
I suddenly heard someone knocking the door while i'm playing my phone.I quickly went to the door,only to find Hyuk,who has his head hung low as he plays with his fingers nervously.
"So...lunch is ready....if you're hungry..."He mumbled.
"Okay...thanks."I thanked him and he nodded then start walking away.
I went back to my bed,just to take my phone then went down to the kitchen immediately.My stomach growled as the smell of the pizza hits me.Gosh i really miss his cookings.
I sound so whipped.
I went to the dining table and quickly grabbed myself two pieces.
"Yeah?"I asked when i can feel his eyes on me the whole time.
"Nothing."He blurt out as he went to sit infront of me.
And so,we ate in an awkward silence.With me playing with my phone while eating....well Hyuk....he just keeps playing with the cheese on the pizza.
"So ummm...."He started then cleared his throat.
"Yeah?"I replied.
"Where's your parents?And ummm...i see that the house is a mess and i wonder why there isn't anybody cleaning it...."He mumbled and i let out a small chuckle at him.
"They are taking care of some business shit.And yeah the house is a mess but you know that i'm not the type of person to clean...So i just let it be the way it is."I said and he nodded.
"That night....did you...."He said and i tensed a bit but i stay quiet as i munch on the pizza.
"Did i what?"I asked him.He seemed hesitant about it but he continued,
"Did you had sex with the girl?"He blurt out and start blushing after that,but his eyes stayed on mine.
"Yes.I did."I said as my eyes stayed at his,to see his reaction.His face drops immediately as his eyes starts to water but he quickly blinked it away.His lips trembled a bit but he quicky cover it with his palms.
"Hyuk you need to understand that i was drunk!"I exclaimed quickly.
"But people get honest when they are drunk!"He argued back.
"Hyuk....you know that i don't mean it..."I plead.
"You know how painful it is,to know your boyfriend have sex with another girl?"Just as i was about to open my mouth,he continued,
"Or when your boyfriend slapped you?Let's not forget about those....mean things you said."He spat out and my head immediately hung low in shame.
"Do you know what actually hurts the most?Is that you actually dared to slap me.You are nothing but an abusive piece of shit."He said,anger clearly on his tone.He then slammed the table harshly as he stormed upstair.
Please don't leave the house.....
I let out quite a sigh of relief when i heard he locked his own room.I then quickly went upstair and of course when i tried to open his room,it's locked.
"Hyuk....i don't know what should i do for you to forgive me....Will you please just tell me what should i do?"I plead as i rest my head on the door as i heard sobs inside the room.
"Just....just go away Hongbin."He sobs and my heart clenched painfully immediately.I don't reply him but i stay on the same position for a few moments,until suddenly i heard some movements.I heard another door pushed open harshly and that's when i snapped.
He's not going to cut himself isn't he?
I quickly went to my work room,finding the screen that shows Hyuk's room.Once i see it,my jaw dropped as i see him on the bathroom,looking for something.Thank god he didn't close the door or else i won't be seeing anything.
I quickly take the key from one of the drawers and went back to Hyuk's room.I open the door with the key and quickly run to the bathroom,only to find Hyuk ready to cut himself.
He snapped his head to my direction as he widens his eyes when he saw me while i quickly went to him and take the razor from his hands.I then randomly throw it somewhere and i place my hands on his shoulders while staring at his eyes.
"Hyuk....please don't do that..."I plead while he just avoided my eyes.His eyes are red and puffy while there are dry tears on his cheeks,he look like shit.Seriously Hongbin?
"I can't okay?It just hurts so bad."He mumbled.
"I'm hurting too.But do i hurt myself?No."I argued and he immediately glared at me.
"Well,at least you're not the one who got slapped."He snarls and my eyes darkens immediately.He has been blamming everything on me and yes i know it's my fault,but he doesn't have to remind me about it for a thousand times!
"Look Hyuk,i'm sorry alright?I don't know what should i do anymore to make you forgive me.I know that you're hurting,but i am too,i'm hurting as bad as you.I'm already feeling really guilty here and you're making it worst.What am i suppose to do Hyuk?Go back in time,and take it back?If i can,i would.But i can't."I said while my eyes staying at his face the whole time just to see his reaction.
"But if you're really done with me,you tell me right now.I promise you will never see me again.But if there's any chance that you will forgive me,you tell me.I will respect your decision no matter what.Now tell me Hyuk,which one is it?Because to be honest,i don't know what should i do anymore."I continued as i release a long deep sigh as i finally can get it out of my chest.
"You want my honest decision?"He mumbled and i nodded.
"Well....umm..."He said then quickly went to cover his face.
"I just...i still want you so bad...but..."He said as he uncover his hands from his face.
"I can't handle anymore heartbrokens...one is painful enough...I'm just scared..."He shyly said as his face grow red every second passing by.
"I just...how about...we just take a break on each other first?Then when i'm ready...maybe we could...i don't know,start over again?"He suggested and i hold back a sigh.
"Fair enough."I said after realizing again what had i done.
"Okay...but can i have the razor back?"He asked me and i glared at him.
"No.In fact,i'm gonna confiscate all sharp things here.Including scissors."I said then his jaw dropped wide open at me as he stare at me in disbelief.
"Are you crazy?You can't do that!What if i need to cut something?"He asked.
"You can just come to me and i'll lend you the scissors."I simply said and i see his eyes drops in defeat.
"So ummmm...."I said as i slowly release my hands from his shoulders.
"Are we like...okay now?"I carefully asked him.
"Yeah.We're okay now."
I dont think i'll be able to update the next chapter soon becuz im currently on my vacation .-.