omg i now have six mins to get to work lololol
not proof read ahhh
"It's fine if you don't want to, but, you know...I don't want any regrets so I thought i'd ask" he said calmly and I just blinked at him.
Why isn't he acting shy right now? This isn't just your every day request!
What the fuck me it's not like I can talk...I'd kiss anyone...
Ugh but that just makes me think Erin can do better.
Much better.
"Erin it's not like I'd have any right to reject you after the things i've done with other people, but. I feel that you can do better" I voiced my thoughts and he scoffed and glared at me.
"Are you picking a fight or something? I have better taste than that. I can't do better because you're the one I like, which makes you perfect to me" he reassured making me blush and feel guilty.
"Sorry.." I apologised and he rolled his eyes.
"Sorry?? Riley I'm fine with liking you, stop insulting my tastes! I won't judge you for what you've done in your past, I know there's a reason for it. It's not like it's a personality trait or something" he rambled and my mouth fell open.
"....What?" he asked after he noticed my expression and I smiled before moving forwards and kissing him.
"Umph whoah!" he exclaimed against my lips but I just pushed him down onto the bed. He eventually just relaxed and I pulled away to see his shocked expression.
"Where did that come from?" he asked and I chuckled.
"You're the first one who hasn't assumed I'm some kind of slut" I admitted and he frowned.
"Of course , I've had your side of the story the whole time. How could I? It was obvious you weren't the one at fault, you just seem to be unable to say no" he explained and I bit my lip.
Unable to say no?
...hmm...
"No. See i said it" I pointed out and he raised a brow at me.
"Not literally you dolt"
I made a face of discomfort as i thought about what he meant and he sighed.
"I know it's not nice to have your flaws pointed out to you, but you have to have something wrong with you, you can't be perfect" he said and I smirked.
"I have plenty wrong with me." I stated and he gave me a look.
"You're almost perfect to me" he said without much thought and we both cringed at the same time.
"Think I'm going to barf" I commented and he chuckled.
"Sorry, but it's true. It so hard to think badly of someone you like" he tried to explain himself and I rolled my eyes.
"It's late" I commented after a few moments of silence as i stared down at him.
"It is..." he replied quietly before sliding a hand round the back of my neck and making me blush.
He lifted himself up slightly and pulled my head down so our lips met. I made sure to reassure him by kissing him back before the kiss became heavier.
I seriously never expected I would be doing this...
I lowered my head even further trying to not put any strain on him as he intertwined our tongues.
I couldn't help but notice he had a kind of chemically taste to him as I ran my tongue along the inside of his mouth. I'm tasting the remains of some kind of cancer medicine aren't I? It burns my tongue slightly...
I closed my eyes tightly as they began to sting with tears and tried to control my unbalanced breathing.
Erin pushed me down onto the bed as he got up making me stare up at his anxious frown.
"Why are you crying? I'm not hurting you am I..." he asked with worry and I shook my head.
He stayed there staring down at me for a while before sighing.
"Riley..." he seemed like he was about to start a lecture before closing his mouth and looking away.
"Don't pity me, I have pride too you know" he eventually said as he caressed the side of my face making me bite my lip as my eyes stung again.
He then smirked bitterly before smiling. "It does feel nice having you cry for me..." he commented before leaning down and kissing me again, slowly and tenderly like he was cherishing it.
His hands wondered under my top gently, gliding smoothly over my skin before he pulled it over my head. I stayed silent as he looked down at my chest, trailing his fingers up towards my neck.
He leaned down and kissed my skin in various places making me bite my lip as I started to shiver and react.
He then moved back towards my face and kissed the side of my eyes before smiling warmly at me.
I wonder if that's a genuine smile...if he can actually feel happy at a time like this...
I would be so angry...
I reached up and kissed him before sucking on his bottom lip. His hand that was resting on my waist gripped my skin before he moved his head away and panted.
"I'm sorry....a bit...dizzy" he muttered and I frowned.
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I asked in worry but he put his hand on my chest to stop me from moving.
"I'm always like this, so its fine" he said and I continued to frown anxiously.
He continued to pant and his skin felt hot. He sighed before taking his own shirt off and sitting on the side of the bed.
"Have you got a change of clothes for tomorrow?" he asked and I bit my lip.
"I'm fine wearing what I have on, it's clean enough" I replied and he sighed.
"Well take it off now then, you don't want to get it dirty sleeping in it do you?" he said before standing up and unbuckling his jeans.
I blinked in slight confusion before standing up and taking off my own clothes, leaving my briefs.
We both then just stood there in the darkness after he turned his easel light off, murmuring something about how it easily overheats.
I looked down at the floor solemnly as he stared out of the window.
How am I even supposed to sleep from now on...how do normal people get over something like this...
How does he get over something like this?
"Riley..." he said as he moved towards me, slowly lifting his hands up to cup my face and kissing me gently. I sighed heavily after he broke away a few moments later and looked at the ground.
His thumb softly stroked my cheek as he smiled at me, like he was trying to comfort me.
Like I was the one suffering here.
I moved forwards and embraced him in a gentle hug, resting my head in the groove of his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and we just stood there in silence.
Get yourself together Riley, you can't make him have to be the strong one here.
"I'm tired" he eventually stated and I felt his jaw move as he yawned.
He moved away then grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto the bed with him.
I tensed up at first before relaxing when he smiled at me reassuringly. I let him wrap his arm around my shoulders as I lay my head on his chest.
"Don't you need to do something before you go to bed?" I asked while staring at my fingers as they trailed up and down his side.
I wonder which kidney it is...
"I already took my meds" he explained before grabbing my hand and moving it down to his side, confirming my suspicions.
I stared at the area of skin as I placed my hand on it. It looked perfectly fine...how sinister.
How cruel.
Why Erin?
"Was it really spreading?" I asked before gulping and he sighed.
"I was being a bit over dramatic. It's not official, but that's what we're worrying about and will find out on Monday..." he answered and I grit my teeth.
"Why won't you take it out?" I asked and he gripped my shoulder tighter.
"My other kidney is too weak...I need a transplant...expensive..." he trailed off and I sighed.
He wants me to stop asking questions...I will then.
The room descended into silence and after a while I heard Erin's even breathing.
He fell asleep...he's probably really fatigued...
I closed my eyes and sighed, but I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon.
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;-;