Roman
I sat in the front of Lyah's house flicking a lighter on and off. It was dark outside and being that my car was all black I was sure no one would see me. I honestly had no motive or bad intentions. I was just thinking.
Thinking about Taylor and what she said to me earlier.
"People make mistakes, it's in their blood. I'm sure everyone in this room has made mistakes but sometimes you just gotta forgive them and forgive yourself... even if they don't deserve it. What goes around comes around."
I've made mistakes, more than enough to go around. Maybe her betraying me and having me locked up was my karma. And maybe, Taylor was my karma for all those hearts I had broken in the past.
I tilted my head back and looked up at the ceiling of my car. My mind was on Taylor, something rare. I didn't have a crush on her, it just felt like something different. Something like a friendship.
Bzzzt. Bzzzt.
I felt my phone before I could find it. I pulled it out of my pocket and answered the ringing phone. It was Lani.
"Sup, hoe?" I answered laughing a little.
"Hey, bitch. Where you been? Haven't heard from you in almost 24 hours I believe." She replied, laughing.
"Oh what? You miss me? Haven't heard from big daddy now the girl blowing my phone up." I teased, laughing at her. "Nah, but I was just chilling."
"Just chilling, huh? With who? Who's the bitch this time?" She said, now having a laugh of her own. I got serious even though I knew she was joking.
"It was the Taylor chick." I told her. It was silent for a while like maybe she was trying to remember who that was. "The one I brought over and she was onthe couch?"
"Oh." She said dryly. "Okay. Had fun?"
Her tone was awkward. "It was straight. We were over at my Dotty moms house and shit." I told her, tapping my finger on the steering wheel.
"Oh word? You took her to see the family? That's cool, what they think?" She joked.
"It wasn't like that, nigga." I told her, rolling my eyes. "Anyway. Where you been at?"
I looked around at my surroundings before l back at Lyah's house. Suddenly the door opened and somebody with a hoodie pulled over their head and tight ass sweats with some sneakers came out, their hands stuffed in their hoodie pockets. Judging from the size and height, I was guessing it to be Taylor.
"Did you hear me?" I heard from my ear. She was coming straight towards the car.
"I'll call you back." I told her before hanging up. As soon as I hung up, she knocked on the window. Now she was close enough for me to know that it was Taylor. I started the car up and rolled the window down. "What?"
"What do you mean what? What are you doing out here?" She asked, looking into the car.
I bit my lip looking at hers. "I was just chilling." I said with a shrug.
She rolled her eyes. "Open the door, Roman." She said reaching in the car.
"Ugh, why?" I teased unlocking the door. I smacked my lips as she got in catching a peek at her ass.
"Are you ever going to stop being an asshole all your life?" She asked, slamming the door and taking her hood off. I burst out laughing my fist over my mouth as I looked at her. She rolled her eyes. "You're childish."
She pulled her hoodie back on and I just kept laughing before pulling it back off and pointing. "What is that?"
"It's a fucking bonnet." She grimaced, snatching away. "Can you stop? You're a dick."
"You look like my moms when she comes home from work. She's a fucking lunch lady, bro." I was literally dying, my chest aching from laughing so much.
She hit my arm. "Stooopp." She whined.
"Okay, okay." I said while putting my hands up. "But for real, you look like an old ass lady, man. Take that shit off."
"No, I just washed my hair." She said, shoving me again. "You get on my nerves. Why are you still even here?"
"Told you I was chilling." I told her, rolling my eyes.
She instantly got serious and was quiet for a while. I didn't wanna bother her but for some reason, I always wanted to know what was on her mind.
"Why did you lie to me?" She finally asked. It took me by surprise honestly.
I sat there quiet for a while. I looked out the window because I knew she was looking at me.
"You could've told me before. Why tell me your sister died if she didn't...?" She continued. "What did you think? That I would judge you or something?"
"I don't know. It just sounded most con-"
"I don't wanna hear that shit. You're mister 'I hate liars' but a damn liar yourself." She snapped, pointing at me.
I smacked my lips. "Man..."
"I'm listening..." she said. After a few minutes of sitting there and realizing I wasn't going to say anything, she sighed. "I don't know. I thought maybe you would wanna talk. Silly me, trying to be there for your ass."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't need anyone to be there for me, man." I said, laughing. She looked serious though. "Look-"
"What's the real story?" She asked. "And I mean the real deal. No bullshit."
"What-"
"You owe me, for real." She cut me off. Cut me off again... sexy ass. I smacked my lips and tilted my head back, thinking about the story of me.
"Where to start?" I asked her. Something told me to look at her, I took a quick glance. She looked at me like i was the most interesting person alive. For the moment.
"The beginning."
1998, Atlanta
"Mommy, mommy!" Lyah yelled racing me to see my mother at the door as she came in with her bags.
"Hi babies. Hi mommy's babies." She cooed, giving us kisses.
It was one of those days where she got to come home early because it was a half a day at the school she worked at. She was a lunchaid, almost 8 hours a day for a funky check that barely got the rent paid. We lived in one of the poorer ends of Atlanta, run-down apartments where the drug dealers liked to find young minds to corrupt. Every day my mother came home from work and she worked some more. Her husband was never around because he was always out cheating on her. She knew it, we all knew it even back then.
His name was Joseph, or Jo. He owned a strip club that took care of the rent that wasn't getting paid by my mother's check. That strip club got us a lot of nice things. However, that was never how my mother was. Before there was money, there was love. Stupid love. She always saw the great in him even when he didn't see it in himself. But that didn't get her loyalty from him. Instead, lies and regret.
That night, in 1998, I had to be about four but I'll never forget it.
"Put your fucking hands up where I can see em!" An officer yelled. Lyah screamed. "Shut that little girl up."
"Please don't hurt her!" My mother begged, holding her hands up. "Shh, Ly. Just do what mommy do, okay?"
Lyah closed her mouth and got on her knees besides our mom, I got on the other side doing the same thing. "Mommy what's happening?" I asked.
"I'll tell you what's happening..." one of the men said. "Your father didn't pay what he owe. So we gotta make him."
He started to laugh before looking around the house. The other held a gun pointed at us, waiting for the other. He looked heartless like he was ready to pull the trigger with just a word.
The other came back and grabbed my mother by the hair. "Where's his safe!?"
See, the thing about my mother that I could never understand even after all these years is why she was so loyal to this man. This man that did nothing but treat her wrong.
That night she looked in his eyes and she lied. She told them she didn't know where it was.
"You don't know huh?" He said with a nod. "I know you're lying. I know you know where it is."
He pushed her to the ground and Lyah screamed again. His hand went across her face and the man with the gun shouted. "Aye, nigga. We not here to hurt no kids. Just go look."
The man snatched the gun from him and pointed it at Lyah. "I don't give a fuck who we gotta hurt. I'm gonna get mine."
I remember being so scared. I wanted to protect them. I wanted to help them. But I was so little and so scared.
My mother got up and pushed the man pointing the gun. He shot and my mother was done. Lyah and I ran to her, crying and screaming.
"See, look what the fuck-"
Sirens could be heard coming from outside. Of course that scared them and they fled the scene. When the cops finally came in they saw my mother there, they saw us... and it was too late.
I remember looking through the tears in my eyes outside the door and my father standing there, not a hint of remorse on his face. He was smiling. Then he walked off like it was nothing, like it wasn't his fault.
Years later, Lyah and I ran away from the system. They tried to separate us but we never let go. I always found her and she always found me. 16 and 17 running around like maniacs, trying to find somewhere safe.
We found one other girl, her name was Porscha. We made money sweeping up barber shops, pumping gas, begging at liquor stores.... the older we got, the harder.
So, I took advantage like my mother would in a way only my father would.
"Slanging." I told her. "Crack. Weed. Heroin. Whatever I had to do to get money. I got the money, we had a better life."
"Then what?" Taylor asked, looking at me. "What happened to the Porscha girl?"
"Well Lyah started talking to this dude named Wyn- you obviously know him-"
"Talking?" She looked offended.
"Yes. But she dated some other nigga instead. She started getting defiant and going out more." I rolled my eyes. "Porscha. She cheated on me with some fake ass Eddy Murphy ass nigga. Then tried to set me up..."
"What?" Taylor scoffed. I laughed before sitting back some more.
"Yeah. My crew took her out. This was just a year or two ago." I told her, thinking about it. "Ever since, I told myself I'd never let another bitch be a weakness for me. Lyah traded me in for her so called nigga... and he tried to get her killed. She ran away from the fam and all that, moved to Florida."
Taylor started to laugh. "Yeah, and that's where I met her crazy ass."
"Oh what? She's the crazy one out of you two?" Now I was laughing as she hit me again. "Look, girl. Stop putting ya hands on me."
"I do what I want." She said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh really?" I asked, my eyes on her lips. She must've felt me looking because she licked them and her voice got low.
"Mhm." She mumbled.
I didn't wanna fuck her in the beginnning. But I wasn't about to tell her my whole life story and not get some pussy. I leaned over the seat and kissed her. What I was expecting was a smack to the face but instead... she kissed me back.