The silence was painful as we both just stared at each other.
I felt tears slide down my cheek as I swallowed hard.
"Thank you" I whispered and he sniffed.
"You already knew though, didn't you?" he asked suspiciously and I looked to the ground guiltily.
"Was always suspicious, i'm not stupid." I muttered and he squeezed my arm.
"But you knew exactly what I had; did you look in my cupboard? How did you know what they were..." he question and I bit my lip.
"Stop that...it's distracting" he said with a frown and I stopped myself.
"I did, and I searched one of the names..." I admitted and he sighed.
"I was trying to spare you..." he mumbled and I shook my head.
"Getting more and more ill without confiding in me would have broken my heart Erin, I care about you, how would you think I'd feel if I didn't know what was wrong with my best friend?"
"...I'm sorry" he muttered and I sighed.
"It doesn't matter, thank you for telling me..."
"I can't afford it" he suddenly said and I gave him a confused look.
"An answer to most of your questions, I can't afford it....we can't afford anything..." he said and looked down at his hands.
"Can't you get help to pay for it?" I asked and he gave me a look.
"Don't you think I would've already? It's complicated, but no" he muttered and I sighed.
I felt horrible...I've never experienced not having enough money for health care.
My mother may have been poor at some points but my father would always send plenty of money if I got ill.
"No one will buy the house, not like I want them to sell their house for a simple adopted no one anyway...We do get some help of course I won't lie...but not enough..." he explained and I sighed.
I took his hands in my own and looked him in the eyes.
"Erin, I'll get you the money, how much do you need?" I asked and he scoffed, trying to pull away but I held on tighter.
"Riley I can't ask you to do that..."
"Yes you fucking can, if not for you then for me" I persisted and he sighed.
"Riley..." he murmured quietly but I wasn't going to change my mind.
"I'll get you it anyway, now are you going to give me your bank details or am I going to have to steal them illegally?" I asked and he snickered.
"You'd never pull that off" he commented in amusement and I gave him a look.
"I would, I can do many things when determined" I defended and he smiled at me.
How would I get the money? I have nothing in my name...at least not enough to pay medical bills...
Getting money from the brothers would be just as bad as stealing from a random house right now, they owe me nothing, and in fact I probably owe them if you think about it...
Not like I wouldn't steal from a random house to get him the money...
My father, he has enough to spare...and if he hasn't changed the arrogant bastard still has his details in his office drawer. Ugh, if I could only remember it from when I was younger...that would be impossible, but it's still irritating.
"I'm going" I said with determination and he blinked at me.
"What?"
"I'm going to England, and I'm getting you that money"
"What, actually?! No, I want you to stay with me, you can't leave me alone to die!" he panicked and I grabbed his shoulders.
"You're not fucking dying Erin you're a healthy 18 year old, I won't let that happen!!" I reassured and he scoffed.
"I'm not healthy I have CANCER Riley, do you think it just goes away like the common cold!?" he cried while shaking as he grabbed onto the side of my arms.
"I can't just let you die Erin, I'm getting that money. You seemed fine when I said I was leaving earlier!" I growled and he slumped in defeat.
"Yes, I didn't think you'd actually go..."
"You were sure playing with fire trying to persuade me to then weren't you?" I complained with a distraught frown.
"....When will you leave?" he asked and I sighed.
"...Tomorrow, the ticket's for tomorrow" I replied and he stared at the floor.
The room then fell into silence and Erin held a conflicted expression on his face.
"...I don't want to be a coward..." he muttered and I frowned.
"What?"
"I...need to tell you...I...can't...I'm too scared...I'm a fucking coward Riley, and I'm scared!" he cried and I hugged him tightly, tears streaming down my face as I fought the urge to sob.
"You're leaving...and I can't...soon it will be too late but I can't!" he continued to sob into my shoulder and I frowned.
"Can't what?"
"Fuck, why is it so hard?" he complained and I pulled away to look at him.
"Erin, I won't judge you for anything, what is it?" I asked and he just silently stared into my eyes like he was genuinely observing them.
He gave a small smile and I frowned at him.
"Your eyes really reflect the moonlight..." he explained and I gave a huff.
"Erin, what is it?" I asked again and he opened his mouth to say something.
I squeezed his hand when he just closed it again and he gritted his teeth in irritation.
"I'm going to be sick" he suddenly stated and my eyes widened.
"Seriously??" I asked and he smirked.
"No...but I feel like it..."
"Erin..." I muttered and caressed his cheek with a worried frown, making him wince.
"I...ugh...Riley...damnit" he tried to start a sentence but kept on stopping and I watched him in concern.
"Erin, why is it so hard to say something to me, at this point i wouldn't even care if you're a serial killer. Do you think I'm dangerous or something? That I'll hurt you? Erin I would never do something like that I care about you..." I tried to reassure him and he looked at me with determination.
"Riley...I know this may surprise you, and is really inconvenient, but..." he started then stopped again and I sighed.
"Erin you-"
"I LIKE YOU, like ALLOT, and not in the friend way either!" he suddenly exclaimed and I blinked in shock.
What?!?!
"I know you'll think 'he's over exaggerating his just a young teenager', heck maybe I am. But whatever this is its strong enough for me to regret not telling you. And I had to, before it's too late...i think i may love you" he justified himself in a panic and I stared at him.
"I know it's stupid that nearly every guy you've met has liked you and I think that's fucking ridiculous and unfair too but I didn't want to be one of the ones who never told you about it. You're a gay magnet and a strong one at that, and I'm not ashamed that I got pulled in by you because you're an amazing person and you're beautiful and even straight men like you. You're so patient with me and even though you're going through so much stress with that so called family of yours you're still so kind and loyal and it makes me feel so happy to have known you and to be the one that you feel comfortable with." He started sobbing again while I was still frozen in shock.
"And I'm so sorry I betrayed your trust by falling for you I know you don't see me in that way but I just couldn't fucking help it, I tried! But to tell you the truth I started liking you the moment I saw you out on the basketball court on my first day. You made me feel so welcome and you were so confident about your sexuality I really looked up to you, of course I'm not gay I'm bisexual..i mean unless you count that as being like half gay or something...anyway its nearly the same thing and I would be a lot more of an unhappier person without you. Actually I'd probably have ended it already because there would be no one to look forward to seeing every day, no one whose smile makes me feel warm inside and no one who makes me feel butterflies just by seeing your perfect face. I carry on fighting this cancer because of you and I didn't want you to know because I didn't want you to smile less. But as time went on you caught on, and you seemed so worried. And now you're stressed about your fucking brothers who i hate may i add...always taking you away and getting all of your attention. I mean who confiscates a fucking phone for several weeks that's just harsh" he stopped his rambling when he noticed me sobbing profusely and frowned.
"Whoah, hey, hey it's okay" he comforted and that made it even worse as he hugged me.
"Um...Well if I knew all that you'd do was start sobbing when I told you I would've done it allot earlier" he commented and I started hyperventilating.
"Calm down Riley, breathe" he said and I just started crying even harder when I saw his face.
"I'M SORRY!" I exclaimed in frustration and he started chuckling.
"This isn't funny!" I snapped in anger and he smiled at me.
"You're so gay" he stated and I hit him before laughing slightly and stopping myself with a hand over my mouth.
"You look a bit hot in that hoodie" he pointed out and I nodded before taking it off, taking a deep breath and calming myself.
"Having someone cry more than I was makes me feel so much better thank you" he said and I smiled.
"You didn't react half as bad as I thought you would..." he stated and I sighed.
"Erin how can you say I'm nice but think I'll hate you for liking me at the same time? You're strange" I questioned and he shrugged.
"So, you don't think of me differently now?" he asked and I bit my lip.
"Well, I do, but not in a negative way. It's very eye opening to know that someone has feelings for you..." I admitted honestly and he frowned. "Um...can you turn on the light now?"
"No i don't want you seeing my red puffy face in even more detail are you serious" he said and I rolled my eyes.
"Put that lamp on your easel on then" I suggested and he gave me a look before getting up and switching it on.
"You scared of the dark or something?" he asked as I frowned at the very dark and lonely looking painting that was placed on the easel.
A silhouette was just sitting on a platform in the middle of a lake, with nothing on the horizon.
"I was told vent art just makes you sadder" I commented as he sat back down next to me and he sighed.
"Sometimes it's easier just to wallow in self pity" he replied and I frowned at him in worry.
"Pfft don't look at me like that, besides isn't this supposed to be really awkward now?" he pondered and I rolled my eyes.
"I'm too tired to be awkward...." I reassured and he gave me a flat look.
"Too used to people confessing to you huh?" he asked and I scoffed.
"People are attracted to me I'd have to be blind not to see that, but they don't ever love me, it takes allot more than a 'pretty face' and an 'okay personality' for that" I voiced and he sighed.
"Don't underestimate how I feel Riley. I'm not some naive teenager that thinks a schoolboy crush is true love...I generally...may love you" he looked to the ground and I felt a bit on edge.
"But...we haven't known each other for that long..." I muttered and he tssked.
"Long enough, look I'm not saying I'm head over heels for you or anything get over yourself. Just...it kind of scares me sometimes...how much...." he trailed off without finishing and bit his lip.
"Stop that it's distracting" I imitated his earlier complaint about me biting my lip and he rolled his eyes.
"I don't want you to go Riley...What do I get up for if i can't see you" he complained making butterflies in my stomach.
Shit...does he actually like me that much? How can I just leave him when he's said something like that??
"I'm definitely not going back to school again now it's not worth it" he grumbled and I scoffed.
"You still went to school because of me? That's going too far" I said and he chuckled.
He then smiled happily before hugging me again and squeezing hard.
Can't breatheee.
"Ugh you're so fucking nice like seriously" he commented and I raised a brow.
"I wouldn't go that far..."
He then kissed my forehead making me blush and gulp awkwardly.
"Pfft don't look at me like that I haven't suddenly turned into a pervert in these last few minutes" he complained and I smiled.
"I wouldn't call that being a pervert" I said and he rolled his eyes.
"I would so your brother's are perverts in my eyes well at least the ones who've done something to you, heck no they're all perverts every one of them" he ranted and I scoffed.
"Done something to me? What am I a helpless victim?" I asked and he looked at me seriously.
"Uh, yeah. You're too nice to stop any of them, you're a helpless victim when it comes to that kind of stuff" he commented and I frowned.
"I'm not helpless..."
"You're thinking of physically helpless. I mean mentally. Which is why I'd never come on to you without your permission" he said and I frowned at his self righteous behaviour.
"Right....thanks" I said with a raised brow and he smirked.
"Anytime"
I'm not mentally helpless what does that even mean...
"Speaking of that...can I?" he suddenly asked and I blinked at him.
"Can you what?" I asked and he smiled.
"Kiss you" he said and I paled.
"H-huh?"
not like the past confessions I must say :3