"I'll figure something out."
Harry's voice rang in my ears over and over. That was what ke kept saying. My confidence in his words was fading. I needed something better than that. Things between the two of us had changed drastically in the span of just 48 hours. Everything was happening so fast it terrified me. I wished I wasn't so apprehensive all the time but it had become a part of who I was. The littlest of things worried me.
After our night together, I had been solely focused on how I much wanted to be near Harry, and how much I loved him. I hadn't given much thought to the consequences of our relationship.
We were nearing the hospital, nearing my mother and my palms were sweating. I had talked to Darren on the phone and I'd told him about my being let off. But suddenly I wasn't so sure if I was ready to face them, especially my mother. Why was I so nervous to see her? She was my mother. She had always been the person I was most comfortable around. But I was a changed person now, or atleast I felt that way. I felt like I had become one of those people she constantly criticised and warned me of.
I had lost my virginity, voluntarily. I had also gotten in the way of an engagement and had caused it to break. All in a mere 48 hours.
My mother couldn't know any of this. I wouldn't want to burden her poor heart with distasteful things. I would rather let my guilt eat me up from inside.
I felt something warm on my thigh and I snapped my head toward Harry. "Thinking again?"
I gave him a nod. His fingers tightened around my thigh and I felt a burst of heat. Things would be so much easier if I had never met him. But then there would be a gaping hole in my life. "You need to give your mind a rest." He said.
"I know, I'm just... nervous." I told him. Green flared in my peripheral vision and his eyes returned to the road as he began to drive. He still managed to keep his hand on me.
"She's your mum." He laughed. I awkwardly shifted in the car seat at his touch. He noticed and stole a quick glance at me, a smile taking over his lips. I shuddered when he gently slid his hand up higher. Not right now.
"Why don't you wear dresses anymore?" He asked. I knew he was only trying to shift my focus away from my stress but I felt the pink rise in my cheeks at his words. I didn't dare to think of how different this situation would be if I had chosen to wear a dress instead of these jeans.
"The vintage ones? You said they looked funny." I replied and I felt his hand slither down the valley of my thighs. A shaky whimper escaped my lips and embarrassment surfaced right after.
Harry smiled at my reaction, his face contorting in amusement as he kept his gaze on the road. He was so handsome when he smiled, I really liked those dimples. No, no. This wasn't the time.
"I could get you a nicer one... maybe a slightly shorter one." He shrugged his shoulder a little then proceeded to move his hand around, gently feeling me. I found myself biting on my lower lip to keep any more sounds from leaving my thoat. I shut my eyes. God, this was so wrong. I felt so guilty for enjoying this.
"It's okay, Lia... things are going to be fine." He said it in such an assuring way. How was it possible that he could make me feel this way whenever and wherever? I had never once experienced this kind of thrill before I met him. The effect he had on me had noticeably intensified after last night.
I felt the absence of Harry's touch, then a slight burn at my closed lids. My eyes cracked open to the new sensations. I realised that the Volkswagen had pulled up right outside the hospital, in a parking space. "We'll continue afterwards." Harry grinned as he clicked open his seatbelt. He leaned over to press a kiss to my cheek before getting out of the car.
I followed and a lump grew in my throat as I peered up at the old building. I'd never felt this anxious. It was going to be so strange meeting my mother, especially after what had just happened in the car.
"Thalia, what are you doing?" Harry was already at the glass doors. "Come on." I wished I could borrow some of that calmness and confidence from him.
I padded over and stopped at the doors. Harry extended a hand, offering to hold mine. "Harry do you really think that would be a good idea?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm.
"No. But you seem really stressed out so..."
I managed a smile. "It's okay."
Once we entered, heads sharply turned. Eyes were glued to Harry, inquisitively examining his entirety. It was probably because of the expensive-looking black fabric that adorned him, and the Volkswagen that we had just arrived in. A person like Harry walking into a hospital that wasn't exactly of the highest quality was uncommon.
But Harry did not acknowledge any of the people in the lobby, he stood tall and kept his chin up, the stares evidently not a bother for him. He was probably used to it.
______________
"Georgia Faye." I repeated so the receptionist could hear me properly. Loud conversations and the cries of babies and children filled the air.
"Alright... and your name?" The old receptionist inquired.
"Thalia Faye." I answered.
"Sorry?" She cupped her ear with her hand, leaning in closer.
"Thalia Faye," I raised my voice.
"Come again?"
"For fuck's sake, her name is Thalia Faye!" Harry cut in loudly.
"Oh, I see." The woman's face paled and she quickly looked down, flipping through a log book.
"Harry..." I turned to him.
"What? The whole hospital could hear you." He defended himself. I knew he was only being this way because he was tired. Light bags hung under his bright eyes. "I'll be waiting outside till you're done." He pulled out a cigarette box and headed toward the glass doors, jaunting through the curious stares.
"She's been moved out of the emergency department. Go there," The receptionist pointed to a hallway. "She's in CRU-19."
"Thank you so much." I smiled at her. "And sorry for earlier." I quickly muttered before following her directions.
___________
My nerves tingled when my little brother pulled open the door. Jakey's weary eyes immediately lit up and I found myself rushing to hug him. "I told you! I told you she would come!" He excitedly said.
"You made it." Darren's voice sounded behind me as he entered the room. I hadn't seen him outside.
"Yeah, it wasn't easy." I said with a small chuckle, recalling yesterday's events. It all seemed less serious now.
Darren bent a little and latched his arms around me. I felt like the old Thalia again, everything was so familiar. My gaze travelled further and my heart ached at the sight of my mother on the hospital bed.
I slowly pulled away, ending our nostalgic embrace. Jakey led me farther into the room and a strong whiff of disinfectants filled my senses. "Mum?" I called faintly, careful not to startle her.
"She got out of the emergency department this morning." Darren informed as he stood behind me. "She's doing a lot better."
I smiled at the good news. "Do you know when she'll be discharged?"
"I think she'll have to stay for a week. I'm not sure." He said as he flattened a hand over his bristly blonde hair. "How did you manage to get here?"
"Thalia?" I heard my mother call weakly and my attention was diverted to her. My fingers gripped the bed rails as I looked down at her. Underneath the white bandages that blotched her, needles pierced through her pale skin. Transparent pipes crowded in my vision, they were all over her body. A machine beeped beside the bed, it showed her heart rate. I wondered if it would be able to handle displaying mine.
"Mum, I'm here." I said, my tone trembling. Her veiny hand lifted a little and I gently laced my fingers through hers. "How are you feeling?"
"So much better now." She murmured and put out a smile. It melted my worries away.
"I'm coming home, mum." I told her.
"I know. Darren told me." She mumbled. "I'm so sorry, Lia." Tears began to glaze her grey eyes.
"Mum, stop. I'm okay, we're all okay. That's what matters." I gave her a big smile.
"I'm going to... make it up to you..." Her soft voice trailed off and her eyelids dropped.
"Mum?" I grew anxious.
"Don't worry, she's just sleepy because she's been under anesthetics." Darren explained as he brought his hand to my shoulder. "By the way, what did you put yourself through to get here? You look pretty worn out."
I pursed my lips and turned to him. "I don't even know where to start."
"Where's the bastard?" Darren crossed his arms over his chest.
"Darren." I said warningly.
"It still fazes me how you haven't said a single negative thing about him." He wagged his head a little. "Did he bring you here?"
"No. I took a taxi." I lied. He would never understand what Harry and I have been through.
"Have you slept with him?" My body tensed at his question.
I glanced over Darren's shoulder to look at my brother, hoping he wasn't listening to our conversation. To my relief, he was curled up on a couch, sound asleep.
"Well?" Darren pushed.
"What? No." I lied again and narrowed my eyebrows at him. Darren was practically family but I was annoyed at how he always delved into such personal things.
He breathed out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Lia. I'm just worried about you, you know."
"You don't have to be." I assured. "We're going to have to get a new place, by the way." I changed the topic.
"I know, I've got it planned for you. There's this apartment complex blocks away from your current home. Rent is lower, and it's a pretty decent place. It's actually where I'm living for the time being. A room will be ready for you guys in two days," He looked up at the clock. "Well one day from now. Jakey's excited. And as for the financial stuff, I've got some extra cash that I've put aside for a while now. I could help pay for the rent."
I instantly regretted being annoyed with Darren. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you." I went in for a hug. "And I'm going to have to get a job." I sighed, sliding my arms off him.
"The cafe I'm working in pays. If you're up for it, I could help with getting you a job there." Was there anything he couldn't help me with?
"Sounds good." I smiled at him. Then I was reminded of school, and how I was probably never going to complete it. It was devastating.
"Jakey's staying at my place tonight. What about you?" Darren inquired.
"I'm going to go get my things packed. I'll be back here by morning." I told him.
"You're staying at the mansion for the night?" I sensed a tinge of disgust in his voice.
"I haven't packed any of my things yet, I've got nothing with me right now. And it's late. One night isn't going to make a difference. Harry's probably not even home." I lied, once again.
Darren responded with a slow nod. "Just becareful."
__________
Guilt capered in my stomach when I saw Harry outside the open glass doors. His back faced me as he leaned his body against the wall outside. He had his mobile phone pressed to his ear, while his free hand held a glowing cigarette. I felt terrible for lying to Darren. I only hoped he wouldn't cross paths with Harry. But I was confident he wouldn't, as his taxi was already waiting for him and Jakey at the back exit of the hospital. I should be getting on that taxi with them.
The thought faded as I neared Harry. I was a little puzzled when I saw a young girl in a nurse uniform approach him. She waved her hand at him. Harry cocked his head toward her and lifted his chin briskly, enquiring what she wanted.
"Sorry sir but you are not supposed to be smoking here." She said rather timidly.
"I'm smoking outside. No big deal. And I'm on the phone right now." He turned away to continue his phone conversation.
"I'm sorry but you're going to have to throw that away." She repeated.
"I told you I'm on the phone, piss off will you?" He spewed at her before popping the cigarette back into his mouth. The young nurse appeared shocked by his hostility. She shook her head as she walked away.
Harry had been quite aggressive today. First with Kaylee, then the receptionist, now this nurse. Kaylee had asked for it and when he burst at the receptionist, I figured his exhaustion to be the cause. I was a little skeptical this time. He had been bitter to me before but this was on a whole new level. Was he always this way with people? I never left the mansion so I had never really seen Harry interact with other people. Seeing this side of him stirred up thoughts of Allison. 'Stuck up asshole' was how she described him.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard some shocking words in his phone conversation. "She's nothing, man. Just needed a reason to get rid of Kaylee."