Harry's POV
"What's wrong?" I questioned, worry growing inside. I recalled everything from last night, wondering what I might have done to cause her to act this way. Nothing but sweet memories flooded my mind. Thalia kept backing away, seemingly trying to create as much distance as possible between us. I'd never felt so disappointed.
"Thalia." I demanded an explanation. My voice grew rigid, my patience wearing away. I refused to believe that I did anything to hurt her. I didn't. I took quick steps towards her. "Please... don't touch me." I heard her mumble as she pushed herself into a corner. "Harry, please." I didn't listen and proceeded to grab her hand. She wriggled in my grip.
"What's the matter with you?" My voice cracked a little, in response to her hurtful reaction. This was all so sudden, too abrupt for me to grasp. "Tell me what's wrong." The gloss in her dark eyes stressed me out. Why was she crying?
She stopped struggling and I let go of her. She slid down to the tiles below and drew her knees up to her chest. Her pale hands then reached up to wipe below her eyes, a sniff following the action. I shook off the urge to pull her in for a hug. I didn't want her to scream out loud, and I got the feeling that she would if I did that.
"It hurts..." She finally said in the quietest tone, her head tilted down.
"Oh." I rubbed the nape of my neck. I didn't know how to deal with this. I'd heard that sex isn't the best experience for girls when it's their first time but I didn't think it was actually true, or atleast important enough to keep in mind. It couldn't be so painful that you would need to bawl your eyes out... could it?
"Just... everywhere." She breathed. "It hurts."
"I'm sorry..." I apologised eventhough I wasn't so sure what she was talking about. "I didn't know. You could've said something and I would've-"
"I don't know who I am anymore." She continued. "What did you do to me?"
"Lia, what do you mean?" I bent down to level our eyes.
"I spent the night in a dirty motel with an engaged person while my sick mother is confined in a hospital... suffering." Her voice caught in her throat, and she paused for a moment. "I've done exactly what your father wanted, what Richard wanted. I am a Baby Doll, Harry."
I inched a tad closer to her and spoke in a whisper. "Lia, what we shared last night... it has nothing to do with my dad, Richard or anyone else. It's between the two of us, and the two of us only. You are not one of them."
She brought her gaze up to me. "The contract's over right? We'll be going our separate ways. You'll be getting married and-"
"I'm not." I interrupted. "I'm not getting married."
"What?" She sniffed.
"I never wanted to marry anybody. I was only going along with it because Kaylee's dad was helping me get through college. If I fail this time, I'll have to go through an extra year. That'd be worse than hell for me, Lia. I don't even like what I'm studying, in fact I absolutely hate it."
"Then... why are you doing it?" She asked rather timidly.
I heaved a sigh. "I made a promise to my mum before she died, that I'd get through college with a proper degree so I wouldn't have to depend on anybody when I'm older. To be more specific, she didn't want me to be dependent on my dad. She never trusted him. I know I would kind of be depending on Kaylee if I married her but the promise was only to get through college, and that's what I'm trying to do."
"Oh..." She said under her breath, looking away from me. I wanted her to be more vocal right now. I needed to hear her say something more than that. But I understood where she was coming from. Knowing very well her personality, it wasn't that much of a shock to see her act this way. I just wanted her to be the way she was last night.The last thing I'd want was for her to be afraid of me.
"Lia, listen." I said, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes again. It brought me solace when she didn't resist. "This... is real for me. I blame myself for not realising it soon enough. I just hope I'm not too late."
"Did... did you mean what you said to me?" She asked. "Last night..." I could've sworn I saw her cheeks flush.
I had told her I loved her. I wouldn't blurt something I didn't mean. But I wasn't sure what love was. I'd always considered it to be an overrated, commercialised thing. I might have a contradicting view of it now.
"Course I did. I do." I answered. I had never imagined myself to be in a position like this - consoling a crying girl, telling her I loved her and actually meaning it. Harry, where have you gone?
Thalia expelled a sigh and rubbed her face, the oversized dress shirt slipping down her right shoulder. My gaze propelled towards the exposed skin, eventhough I forced myself to look away. This wasn't the right time to be ogling but I couldn't resist.
I was reminded of how her skin had been so soft under my touch, her lips too. Just everything about her screamed delicate. It was that trait she possessed that drew me in, that rare trait. I didn't dare to dwell on her past. Her fate had probably been similar to that of my mother's. Filthy men calling her names, getting harassed and etcetera. I wouldn't let any of that happen to her again.
"I don't know anymore." Her hands dropped to her knees. "I'm so lost."
"I'll figure out something." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. If I wanted Thalia with me, a lot of changes would have to be made. I would be in for a major turn of events. The engagement had escaped my thoughts. I had been unfaithful to girls before and sometimes guilt would creep up to sting me but right now, that wasn't the case. The only thing I was worried about was facing my dad.
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Thalia's POV
Harry had left me to get ready. Many uncertainties and doubts still lingered and I needed him to get rid of them. I didn't know where we were about to go with this but I was aware that whatever that was coming up wasn't going to be something that could be easily accomplished. Why was I putting myself through this?
The contract was over and I was free to go home and move on with my life. This was what I had been anticipating, all that I had been looking forward to. But then there was Harry. Oh, Harry.
Besides the torturous guilt that was coiled up in me, another form of discomfort was being a bother. It still hurt down there and I still didn't know if it was a normal aftermath. I had hinted at it but I was too embarrassed to actually ask Harry about it. Yes, it was strange to still be ashamed of these things after what we had done but it couldn't be helped.
Once I had tidied myself up, I strolled out to the bed and perched myself on the foot of it. I waited for Harry to return from getting vehicle aid. I found myself pressing my hands along the wrinkled sheets of the bed... and I was bombarded with flashes of what had happened last night.
I felt my cheeks heat up as the scenes played in my head so clearly. I was reminded of how much I loved him. And the fact that he felt the same way about me caused my insides to flutter. I still couldn't really wrap my mind around it, as it was something so unlikely. Tears welled up in me and I struggled to contain them. Last night had quite the impact on me and just thinking about it got me emotional.
Harry returned about half an hour later, keys clutched in his hand as he held the door open. "Ready?"
I nodded and walked past him. The corridors looked so different in daylight. "How about I take you to your mum's hospital after we go back to the mansion for a bit to clean up?"
"That'd be great." I lit up at his suggestion eventhough I didn't want my mother and Harry to be associated in any way. Also, was I supposed to pack up my things already? I didn't know what Harry wanted to do about us.
"Got a friend to help me with the tyre." He explained, keys clinking as he pulled it out of the knob.
"Your friend came all the way out here?" I asked. I folded my arms over my chest and gandered down when a lanky bearded man walked by us, gawking at me. Harry didn't answer me and I looked up to see his narrowed eyes following the man.
"What?" He finally replied after a few long seconds.
"I asked if your friend came all the way out-"
"Stay close." He interrupted me, reaching to grab hold of my hand. He interlocked our fingers and I noticed how warm his hand had gotten since last night.
Harry handled the bill at the counter while I stood by, trying not to appear too affected by the stares we were receiving. I was thankful when we finally stepped out of the cramped lobby. His mended car waited for us on a gravel pathway beside the small motel.
"Your knee." Harry remembered as he shut the car door. "You didn't tell me what happened."
"You didn't give me a chance to." I shrugged.
"It's your fault for being such a huge distraction." He turned to me and flashed a smile, keys bringing the car to life.
I didn't want to talk about last night with him right now, and I hoped I didn't blush at his indirect mention of it. "Who's Ali?" I asked.
"What? How would I know?" He said as he began to drive.
"She's this girl I met and asked directions from. She had black hair, shaved on one side. When she found out I had a connection to you, she chased me down with her friends. I got away but it was like they wanted to beat me up or something." I speculated.
"You got chased? And you had to wait till now to tell me?"
"I was going to tell you. There was just a lot going on yesterday." I said. "I asked for directions to the mansions and they just assumed that I knew you. The girl spat at my shoe and said that you were... um..."
"A jerk? A dick? An asshole?" He laid out the possible profanities.
"The third one. She also said you were stuck up." I added.
"Yeah, I've heard people call me that behind my back." He arched his eyebrows momentarily. "What did you say her name was?"
"Ali, with an 'I' or something."
"Fuck, that's Allison." He cursed. "Patrick told me she's gone all punk." He said to himself.
"What did you do to her?" I was almost scared to ask.
"I-I didn't really mean to... I know can be a dick sometimes but she was just so annoying." He groaned. "God, it just can't seem to go away."
"It was years ago. When she moved here, I went out on one date with her. She ended up enrolling into my school and quickly became known as its laughing stock because everybody thought she was incredibly awkward. So I stopped talking to her. Then she went around telling everybody that we went on a date. It got on my nerves when people started coming up to me to ask if we were a couple. Then the word got to Kaylee-" He paused.
"You were with Kaylee then? You cheated on her?"
"It wasn't like that, she was in another school..."
"It's not called cheating when your girlfriend is in another school?" I quizzed.
"I was a kid, Lia. Things are different now."
"I'm not sure if that's true. If you think about it, you're cheating on her now." I pointed out. How could I fully trust him and the things he'd told me if he didn't consider cheating to be a big deal?
"No I'm not. We're not actually together." He retorted.
"You're still engaged to her." I stated.
"I told you that I'm going to end it. And aren't you doing the same thing? Have you forgotten about Darren?"
"Darren is my best friend, nothing more. I've never had a boyfriend." I wished he would stop referring to Darren like that.
"Alright, fine. Go on and judge me." He straightened up in his seat and focused on the damaged road.
"Just tell me what happened afterwards." I didn't want to get into an argument.
"What's the point of telling you if you're going to judge me? I told you I was different then."
"I won't judge you. I just want to know why Ali spat at me and chased me down with her friends like a wild pack of animals."
He sighed. "One day I found out that her mum worked as a part-time maid. One of my dad's friends had hired her before. Allison kept it a secret. I got her mum's number and called her in for a cleaning session, on the night of a party I was having with my friends. I also invited Allison. At the time I thought she deserved some humiliation because she was spreading rumours about us and people were getting a different opinion of me."
"What did you do to her?" I asked faintly.
"She came without thinking anything of it. I still remember her face when she saw her mum there, in a maid's dress. I introduced them as mother and daughter to everyone and I deliberately spilled drinks and threw food everywhere so her mum would have to clean it up. She got picked on so bad afterwards that she had to change schools. But I was really drunk at the party so yes, I went a little overboard with it. I just wanted to teach her a lesson."
"A little overboard?" Learning these things about Harry made me feel insecure.
"I know it was a terrible thing to do, but as I said, I was a kid."
"But you went on a date with her. You must've liked her. But you were afraid of what people would think of you."
"I had a social standing that couldn't be tapered with." He replied.
"You still do, don't you? What does that mean for us then? How do I know I'm not another Allison?" I sputtered as my apprehension grew. I had given Harry so much and I knew I would be nothing but a wreck if he did something to hurt me.
"Lia, you can't relate what we have now to something stupid I did in the past." He said as the car came to a halt at a red light. I took in the surroundings, they were familiar. We were nearing the mansion.
"I love you." I heard him say before he arched over to press his lips to mine. I shuddered, my mind bringing back images of our intimate situation. "I think I'm the one that should worried because you haven't said anything back." His whisper fell on my lips. He pulled back when the traffic light popped green.
"I... love you too." I said in a murmur. He tapped me under the chin as he drove, seemingly satisfied with my response. I loved him, probably more than he loved me. It was just so difficult to say it because I was petrified of getting hurt. I decided to drop the 'Allison' subject as I was too fatigued to burden my mind with more worries.
When we finally arrived at the mansion after what felt like the longest drive, I couldn't wait to change out of the oversized shirt and get into the shower. I prayed there would be no more distractions that would get in the way of seeing my mother, but my prayer wasn't answered. Kaylee's red Mini Cooper was parked in the driveway of the mansion.
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