"Jeeze, Gordie. Why couldn't you get some breakfast stuff like twinkies and root beer?" Vern asked and I almost backed up, how the hell is that breakfast food?
"Sorry, Vern. I guess some more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven cents," Gordie replied sarcastically and I would have laughed if I wasn't so hungry. With our stomachs rumbling we pressed on toward the Royal River. The reality of Ray Brower was growing and kept us moving despite the heat.
"Gentlemen, the Royal," Chris said as we all came to a stop.
"God, the tracks go way out of the way," Teddy said and I stared at the tracks, you couldn't see the end.
"If we cut across this field right here, we'll be there in an hour," Chris said and I nodded taking small steps toward the woods until Vern said "I think we should stick to the tracks."
"I say we go across the field," I said continuing walking.
"Let's go!" Chris yelled. Him and Teddy started running, I ran after them.
"Take no prisoners!" Teddy yelled and Gordie followed us, leaving Vern still on the tracks.
"Hey you guys! It's a lot safer if we ah--"
"Come on men!" Teddy cut him off and Vern still didn't move.
"You don't know what's in those woods!" He'd said looking at the tracks and then to the woods, I was almost already there.
"Let's go!" I yelled and he started running.
"Hey you guys wait up for me!" He shouted and then fell, tumbling a little down the hill.
I raced Chris the rest of the way to the woods. I was just about to beat him when he tackled me to the ground, it didn't hurt but I groaned anyway. I looked up at him and laughed. sitting up. "Whoops?" He said laughing, acting like he did it by accident.
"I hate this shortcut," Vern said as we made our way through the woods.
"I hate this shortcut," Teddy mimicked. Vern stuck his fist into the air nearing Teddy's face, and Teddy flinched.
"Hahaha! You flinched! Two for flinching!" Vern said excited. Teddy just rolled his eyes and punched Vern twice in the arm. "But you flinched," Vern said confused.
"I know. Two for flinching," Teddy said and we kept walking. I almost walked into a pool of water until Chris pulled me back and I stared at it, gross.
"How are we supposed to get across this?" Vern asked and I sighed "we use you as a raft," I said looking for a way around. On the side of the pond there was some rocks and trees, easy enough to cross.
"Very funny," Vern said and Chris ripped off a branch from a tree and tested the water.
"Hey, it's not that deep, we can walk across," he said and I shook my head. I knew that you never go into, or drink from still water. It carries more bacteria and creatures than running water. I would have told them this but they were already neck deep in "shallow" water.
"I told you we should've stuck to the tracks," Vern said annoyed as I used a tree to pull myself up onto a rock.
I wobbly started walking on the rocks, using the trees for support. "Is it me or are you the world's biggest pussy?" Teddy asked me and I rolled my eyes.
"I suppose that's fun for you," I said pointing to the water and he shook his head.
"No, but this is!" He said splashing me.
"Come on Teddy, act your age!" Chris yelled at him and I walked faster.
"This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth and I'll only be young once!" He yelled dunking Vern under the water.
"Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life," Chris said and I was just about to get to the other side. I saw Gordie swimming away when Teddy shouted "oh-oh, Chambers you just signed your own death-warrant! You die, Chambers!"
"Hey, where're you think you're going Lachance?" Gordie almost made it to the other side before Chris pointed him out.
"Yeah, Lachance," Teddy shouted.
"Come on you guys," Gordie said getting dunked under.
"Sleeper hold! Sleeper hold!" Vern shouted and I finally made onto the other side.
"Vern, there's something on your neck!" Gordie shouted and Vern was not concerned. "Gee, right. I'm not falling for that one, Lachance."
"No Vern, there is something on your neck," Chris pointed. "It's a leech. Leeches! Jesus Christ! Get them off!" Teddy screamed. There it is, once again Mallory was right about something.
The boys started taking off there clothes, frantically ripping leeches off of themselves.
I went over to them and helped take them off their backs until Gordie pulled out the band of his underwear. "Oh Chris. Oh shit, Chris. Oh shit, man." He pulled his hand out and his finger tips were covered in blood. We all went over to him and I thought about what to do.
"Gordie, man, are you okay? Can you hear me? Gordie, are you there?" I asked checking his pulse. Once again Vern thought this was a brilliant time to say something so unnecessary. "Maybe he's dead."
"He's not dead, he's still breathing, you idiot," I said checking the pulse on his wrist.
"Well I don't know," Vern said upset and I felt bad. Wow, I actually felt bad for hurting someone's feelings, that's a first.
"Hey, hey. Just cool you guys, he just fainted. Gordie," Chris said.
"God, I never met anybody who fainted before," Vern said and I could tell Teddy was getting as annoyed with Vern's smart ass comments as I was.
"Maybe he made a bad mistake and looked at your face," Teddy said.
"Shut up, Teddy," Chris said and I noticed Gordie moved.
"You okay, Gordie?" I asked and he nodded "yeah."
"Let's go," Chris said helping him up and all the guys put their clothes back on.
Gordie sat by a tree and we all were ten feet away from him, still in his earshot. "Maybe we should take Gordie back," Chris said looking over at Gordie.
"Oh great, Chambers, now you're turning pussy too!" Teddy said sarcastically and I got mad.
"What's your problem, Duchamp?" I shouted and the guys got quiet.
"He had a leech hanging from his balls, he fainted!" Chris shouted at Teddy, also.
"Maybe we should stop talking about him like he can't hear us," I said annoyed. "But maybe Chris is right, maybe we should."
"What are you, his mother?" Teddy asked and I got upset.
"Eat shit!" Chris shouted shoving Teddy and Teddy shoved him back. "You eat shit!"
"Hey, hey! I think Mallory and Chris are right. Let's go back," Vern said and Teddy had a reply to that too.
"Oh haha! What a surprise, the king of the pussies wants to go back too!" Teddy shouted and I shoved him now.
"Don't call him that!" I shouted defending Vern. Teddy's attitude made me upset and I could tell it made Vern upset too.
"Well, pussy," Teddy said shoving Vern.
"Stop it," Vern said upset and I looked at Chris, he was silent and had that look, the one where you don't know what he is thinking.
"Pussy," Teddy said again and now I was just pissed. "Stop it," I shouted at him and shoved him. He shoved me back and I landed on the ground.
"You four-eyed psycho!" Vern yelled at Teddy and Chris shoved him really hard, pushing him straight to the ground "don't touch her," he said, venom dripping from every word he spoke.
We were gladly interrupted by Gordie shouting "STOP IT!!" we all turned to him "I'm not going back."
He got up and we started walking after him. "Idiot," Teddy said and Vern rolled his eyes "shut up, retard," he fired back.