Stand by Me

Chapter Sixteen "I Should Have Known"

"Someone you used to know?" I pressed, hoping the answer was me. As selfish as that sounds I would like to know that he was missing me as much as I missed him. It would break my heart if he didn't.

He nodded his head, still seeming like he was not all there. I decided not to make him tell me. It would be a lot more awkward if I didn't know him as well as I do, but I noticed then that he probably didn't know it was me. "Uh.. I'm sorry for bumping into you, I guess I'll go now," I stammered unsure of how to continue the conversation. How do you talk to someone that you haven't seen in a month, and they don't even know that you are their girlfriend?

I turned around, almost automatically, and started to walk away when he called out. "Wait..wait," I turned around and looked at him confused "I lost you once, Mallory, I'm not going to lose you again."

A grin widen on my face and I said, in almost a whisper, "you knew." A smirk appeared on his face and he shook his head "how could I not. How could I not remember the prettiest girl in Castle Rock, I should've known sooner."

I laughed lightly and we hugged each other tightly, almost as if we were the only people in the world. We were the only people who mattered, because I had him and he had me. I was afraid to let go, to let it be over.

Finally we pulled away when I heard shouting coming a bit down the road. I looked up and noticed the three boys who I could never forget running to me. "She's back! Mal's back!" they embraced me in hugs and we were all happy to be back together, like we were one big family.

"Woah blondie," Teddy said, grabbing and examining my hair. And I laughed, "my new identity," I said pulling away and smoothing out my hair. We all just enjoyed each other's company at the moment talking about whatever.

"Mallory, I'm really glad you're back, sincerely," Vern said. We all were sat at a booth in Blue Point Diner, devouring all the food. "I'm glad to be back, Vern," I said.

"How was Washington?" Gordie asked and I looked at him confused. "How'd you know I was in Washington?" I asked and all the guys looked nervously around.

I was struck by sudden realization, people probably weren't happy, much like the boys were, to see me. I had a bad reputation around here, I was nothing but trouble. And to think that they could have finally gotten rid of Mallory, that excited them.

I'm sorry to everyone who didn't want me back, but I'm about to make their lives a living hell. I got out, I got out of this town only to be dragged back.

I shook my head and suddenly I felt a wave of sadness. It's sad to think that a thirteen year old girl is marked lousy, for what? For sometimes having a bad attitude, who wouldn't when their dad died, their mom abused drugs and their aunt beat them. I don't steal, cheat and I don't lie, and yet.

"Are you ok?" Gordie asked bringing me back to the reality of the diner and mounds of food. I nodded my head, because that's what I'm used to doing. I have to say I'm alright, even if I'm not, because I don't know how to explain my feelings.

An awkward and sudden silence fell upon us all, we had nothing we wanted to say. Silence can be scary, especially when it's unexpected in this group of guys. I got up, and left. I can't explain why, but I needed to be anywhere else.

I almost got down the street when someone gripped my shoulder "Mal," I turned around at the familiar voice. I couldn't help the tears streaming down my face, it was different with him, different with Chris. It's like we had an understanding without saying anything. I would've hugged him, would've told him that I'm not alright, but I didn't. I couldn't come to terms with my feelings, the constant numbness.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I couldn't. I didn't say a word, but instead a worn out Mallory turned around and walked home. My feet slid, dragging themselves along the concrete. My body felt heavier than usual, almost as if it was a burden to hold my body weight. And yet, Chris still followed.

I finally said something, "Why did you run away?" I asked, my voice sounded empty and without meaning. He looked at me with sad eyes "my dad," he whispered and that was enough of an explanation for me. He didn't look ready to talk about it and I wouldn't force him.

I turned on my street and I started to feel the logical parts of my brain shut off. "I'll leave if you want me to," Chris said when we reached my house. I sighed and said in an almost whisper "I'm sorry that I ruined our reunion, but I would just like to be alone for tonight. Can we hang out tomorrow?" I asked as sad as I feel, and he nodded, embracing me in a hug.

I slowly climbed the stairs to my house and once inside my mom gave me a questioning look. I looked her dead in the eye, and with the most broken tone of voice that I ever heard myself use I said "Mallory is back."