"He said he came from Jamaica, he owned a couple acres.
Something.. Something fake visa cause he never had his papers.
Gave up on love messing with them heart breakers, but he was getting money with the movers and the shakers.... Blah blah," Genesis sang so loudly in the shower, it distracted me from my thoughts temporarily.
"Please be quiet!" I yelled, hoping that she heard me over her excruciatingly loud singing and the steady stream of water hitting the surface of the tub.
I was still extremely drowsy from sleep and the dream that I had recently had. It was the second time that I was dreaming of the future. Aubrey and I as a family. Us. Together. Family.
The thought of having a family with Aubrey both thrilled and terrified me tremendously. On one hand, I would want to spend the rest of my life with Aubrey, because of the unconditional love we shared. On the other hand, I was terrified of being a parent. I'd have made a horrible mother, due to my naturally cold personality. I would've not been able to comfort my kids in a way that was deemed acceptable, I might spoil them rotten or kill them dead. Raised in a Afro-Caribbean household, whoopings were permitted and I received a good deal, but how would I know when to stop? How would I have known when to quit? Inevitably, Aubrey would've become the better parent.
I tried the names from the dream out. Our son's name was "Auden". I obviously had chosen that name due to my love of poetry, named after W. H Auden, whose poems I spent many of my days analyzing. I wasn't a huge fan of him then, I wondered what had happened to make me change my mind enough to name my own son after him.
"Auden Graham." I stated, making sure to caress each syllable as they were expelled. The names flowed beautifully together, sort of like a short song. I smiled at the name.
Auden was the spitting image of his father, the only difference being that he had inherited my eye color, the only evidence that he was also my son. I had yet to see my baby girl, and I looked forward to dreaming of when I was no longer pregnant.
I spoke her name as well, taking my time to pronounce each letter poetically, "Auburn Graham." This name was not a traditional girls name and I loved it. The color reddish brown was what it meant, however it seemed to hold a different meaning as well. It was the only way Aubrey and I could combine our names to make it sound good. Much like my name which had this exact double meaning. "Amber", the color and "Amber" the combination of my parents names. It meant something, that even in my dream I continued a family tradition.
I smiled at the realization. But it still didn't sway my views. I didn't any children.
Genesis entered the room, her towel wrapped tightly around her bust. "What are you smiling for?"
I shook my head vigorously, knocking myself out of my reverie.
"Fine. Don't tell me then." She dropped her towel to the floor revealing her naked body to me.
"Yo, I need to get my own room." I mentioned.
"Ha ha.." Genesis replied, rubbing lotion on her slender arms. "I'll leave by the start of summer so don't worry your little head."
I had meant my snide comment as a joke, I didn't actually want to be back in my empty room.
Living with Genesis definitely helped with my coldness, and meeting Aubrey revealed to me that I no longer wanted to sleep alone. Ever.
I grabbed the book bag that he brought to me, knocking over the open bag spilling the contents. A variety of my favorite types of candy revealed to Genesis. Crap. That meant I had to share.
"Oooh... You know you gotta give me some of this," Genesis grinned.
I rolled my eyes and pulled out a handful of chocolate, I sorted the variety so that Genesis had two of each kind and placed them on her bed.
"Touch any more and I'll shave your left eyebrow off." I threatened. Every girl had their favorite eyebrow. Genesis' happened to be her left. I smiled to indicate that I was simply joking, but in the back of my mind I knew I just might've went through with it just to see her reaction.
Genesis rolled her eyes, pulling a red t shirt over her head. "Kay. I won't." She held her arms up in defeat.
I lay my head down on the bed when I heard the door bell go off. Who the? On a Saturday? I hoped it wasn't the jehovah witnesses.
I announced I would get the door and hurried down the stairs. My fluffy yellow bedroom slippers squeaked noisily through the house, and I silently wished that they weren't so loud.
I opened the door to reveal, Aubrey?
I stepped outside, closing the door behind me.
I grinned up at him, his face held an unreadable emotion. "Why are you here Aubrey?" I asked him, dusting off the lint on his dark sweater.
He grabbed my hand, pressing a chaste kiss to my palm and held on to it. "I... I. Just come with me." He said. It always gave me a boost of confidence whenever he would act shy around me. It reminded me of the effect that I had on him, and the effort that he put into the relationship.
He tugged at my hand lightly, willing me to follow him, but not hard enough so I knew that I still had a choice. I followed his lead, my hand dwarfed in comparison to his.
We strolled across the street and straight into Roger's front porch. I planted my feet firmly on the floor boards indicating that I was not going inside.
"This is my mothers boss's house. I feel like I'm violating some type of unspoken rule." I confessed as he quirked an eyebrow at me.
He nodded, "but it's also my aunts house and i have a key so... Please just come with me. I need to speak to you alone."
I rolled my eyes upward and nodded, following his figure into the front door. We entered an expansive living room and Aubrey sat on the large beige couch. He patted his lap, indicating that he wanted for me to sit there.
I didn't protest, I cautiously sat on his lap my side to his front. His hands came up to pull my frame against his and he kissed my shoulder.
He rubbed my thigh, and chuckled when he noticed my Pikachu bedroom slippers.
"So sexy," he complimented sarcastically.
"I'm just a modern day Marilyn Monroe." I smiled, clicking my heels.
Aubrey laughed, a sound I took pride in making happen.
"What's up? What do you need to talk about?" I asked after his laughter died down.
"Are you busy?" He asked, tracing patterns on my skin, his touch sent shivers through me and I was thankful that I was wearing shorts.
"No, but.... I don't really feel comfortable in this house." I confessed.
He kissed my shoulder once again to soothe me.
"What I'm about to say won't really be completely good news, so umm try to relax for me okay." He stated, staring up at me with a small frown.
I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes. My exhale came out as a yawn. I guess I was still pretty tired.
"I'm..." He sighed, "I received a call from Jonah an hour ago. They're pressing charges against Roy for several counts of murder, torture, drug charges, kidnappings, you name it." He revealed.
I turned in his lap, facing him now"isn't that good news?I'm glad that he'll be out of out out hair."
"That's not all though baby." He wrapped his arms around my waist in a loving gesture. "I have to testify against him, which means that I'll be heading back to Canada in 20 days."
"But you don't have to go do you? You just got back to me." I reminded.
"He was arrested in Canada, so that's where the trial has to be held." He confirmed my fears.
He peered up at me, his eyelashes thick. Not saying anything.
"What about Roy's goons? Won't they attack you if they know you're there? It's a risk." I stated, almost not sure if it was true.
"I'll be in witness protection. Plus, it's a risk I'm willing to take to get that low life in prison." Aubrey assured, his voice clear.
"Well, then. I'm coming with you." I informed, not caring that I won't get permission from my parents.
"Fuck no!" Aubrey's response came almost instantly.
"Why not?" I folded my arms feeling much like a child who didn't get her way.
"I'm not putting you in danger." He stated simply.
"I don't care Aubrey, you obviously need me there. This is a huge deal baby." I used the word to get him to agree.
"Don't want to hear. You're not coming and that's final." He restated.
"C'mon!" I yelled, exasperated. "I want nothing more than to be there for you. You need the support of your girlfriend."
"And you can provide that support, from your home." Aubrey insisted.
I got up, my arms still firmly crossed. Aubrey grabbed my arm, pulling on it.
"You're not going anywhere." He stated, his grip tight on my wrist.
"You're not the boss of me." I gritted out. Okay, now, I was really sounding like a temperamental child.
"Baby, please just sit." He tried to persuade me, dark eyes shining into my lighter ones.
I obeyed, sitting next to Aubrey again, but no longer touching him.
"I want to be there for you Aubrey. Why won't you allow me?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose, then reached over to cover my hand with his. My heart beat rapidly at the thought of Aubrey being in the same room as Roy again.
"Amber," he began, as he scooted over. "You are my world, okay? As much as I want you with me holding my hand along the way, I will not jeopardize your safety for my own selfish reasons. I love you way too much for that."
"Nothing is gonna happen to me." I persisted.
"And what if something does!" Aubrey raised his voice, a vein on his neck becoming apparent. His vocal level retuned to normal as he continued, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Knowing I am the reason you were hurt."
It was becoming clear to me why he wanted me to stay in Texas so badly. I looked at him, his head hung low in frustration, his jaw set in a firm line, his eyes distant as he thought of me being hurt. I couldn't continue to torture him in that way.
"Okay. Aubrey.. I'll stay okay. If that's what you want." I agreed.
Aubrey smiled instantly, the distant look he just held forgotten. It was almost instantaneous.
"That's my baby girl." He praised, making me shiver. It was the name he called Auburn in my dream a few hours earlier.
I gasped audibly, remembering. He looked at me in confusion, and I recovered by asking, "How long will you be there?"
"A month, maybe two. It depends on how long this case is assumed to last." He clarified, the disappointment clear in his tone.
That statement was all I need for my heart to shatter.
"What? No. Aren't you... What about school?" My head could not wrap around not seeing Aubrey for another one, or possibly two months.
"I'm Not registering this semester." He stated. How could he be so nonchalant about this? This was literally the worst news ever. My chest tightened as I closed my eyes.
"I can't do it Aubrey. You're talking another month of being without you." I emphasized.
He licked his lips, the action so incredibly sexy that I temporarily forgot about our dilemma.
"You can. You have to." He said way to calmly. It confused me how he could from 100 to 0 so quickly. Declaring his love to me one minute, then practically forcing me to be apart from him for two whole months the next.
Quietly, I stood, my pickachu slippers squeaked loudly and Aubrey looked up.
I tore my eyes away from his, making a hasty retreat.