"Sometimes you just have to hold on to hope."
Ricky walked upstairs and silently walked towards Amy's door. He took a deep breath and knocked.
"Come in." Was the cold and short answer he got.
With hesitation he opened the door and stood in the doorway, looking at a very annoyed-looking-pregnant-Amy.
She was sitting on her bed, trying to enjoy reading a novel, while she was eating some pickles with peanut butter.
"So uhm... Amy, are you coming?" He asked with hesitation in his voice.
Amy closed her book. She turned her head towards him and sighed.
"Yes, i'm coming!" She said, uncertain.
"Are you sure you want to go today? Because if you don't want to, we could always go tomorrow?"
Amy nodded and looked annoyed. "You know that i don't have a choice. This is my monthly check up. It's just that i'm a little tired... That's all."
Ricky looked down and sighed. "You're always tired Amy! And that's what's been worrying me these couple of days."
Amy seemed to be surprised by his concerns.
"It really is nothing. It's normal to be tired when you're pregnant you know?... Besides, i was always tired when i was pregnant with John!"
She looked him straight in his eyes.
"But's that's something you wouldn't know because you were too busy having sex with Adrian back then."
Ricky felt hurt by this comment. He didn't expect her to say something like this. Something that happened a long time ago.
"You know that i'm not that guy anymore! And being tired is one thing. But being tired and having Preeclampsia is another thing." He said, trying to make his point.
Amy nodded and looked away.
"I'll be downstairs. Just take your time to get ready, Amy!" He said in a harsh tone while he walked away.
----
"You have to put your seatbelt on, you know that you have to! How many times do i have to ask you... Put your seatbelt on, or you can get out of this car and walk all the way to the doctor's office!" He shouted.
"And how many times do i have to tell you that it feels uncomfortable to be pregnant and wear a seatbelt!"
"Come on, don't act like a kid. You shouldn't act like a kid with a kid."
He took a deep breath and tried to stay calm.
"Just please... Put it on, Amy?" He asked, trying not to lose his temper.
Amy rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe what this fight was about. Everything seemed fine between the two of them just a couple of days ago. She was just getting used to being friends, and it was working out the way she wanted it to be.
But they were slowly going back to their old habits. They were making their return to the old and rough road they shared. A road fulled with emptiness, betrayal and sadness. She just didn't want to feel that way ever again.
"You know what... Just drop me off."
Ricky looked at her. "What do you mean?" He asked, uncertain.
"Just drop me off at the hospital and go home. I really don't want you there with me right now!" She said, looking out of the window.
In a sudden the car stopped.
"What did you do? Start the car!" She shouted.
Ricky stared out of the front window. He didn't say a word because he was afraid he might lose his temper. And the last thing he wanted to do, is to hurt Amy.
"Why did you stop the car? I have an appointment. You know that i've got an appointment with my doctor, and..."
Listening to Amy's words, knowing that she wouldn't stop talking made Ricky even more angry. He just knew that Amy was trying to cause a fight. A fight she wanted to win.
"What is this about huh?" He asked, while his fierce eyes looked into hers.
"What do you mean?" Amy asked, not sure what he was talking about.
"Why are you so mad in all of a sudden? You're trying to start a fight here, without actually having a reason to fight at all. And believe me, you are causing a fight. So what's going on? Just tell me, before i might lose my temper!"
Amy looked down. She didn't know how to start, or how to say this without hurting his feelings.
She sighed.
"It's just that i think it's unfair that..."
She stopped because she felt uncertain about the truth. She still felt confused about the situation between her and Ricky.
"Just say it Amy!" He said.
Amy nodded and looked down, she tried to avoid eye contact.
"I just think that it's unfair that you can still do whatever you want to do. Like going to college, hanging out with friends and going 'somewhere' if you feel like having a break. I think it's really unfair that i have to go through this, knowing that i can't have a break. And you can still do whatever you want to do because your're not pregnant!"
Ricky nodded. "If that's what you think?" He asked, trying to not have an argue.
"Yes, that's what i think. And that's not only what i think, that's what i know Ricky."
Amy was looking out of the window. She looked how her reflection was staring back at her.
"Because no matter what i do or say, i will always be the girl who got pregnant."
~•~
"Remember the moment you left me alone and broke every promise you ever made.
I was an ocean, lost in the open,
nothing could take the pain away"
- Throne by
Bring Me The Horizon