I didn't go see Jake for a couple days. I was far too busy and far too angry. I needed space.
I worked in the emergency room for a majority of the time. They needed help, so I volunteered. I didn't want to deal with Jake. I didn't have the time or heart for that.
I really wasn't beginning to feel too well. I was dizzy, nauseas, my head ached, and I was tired. It all hit me at once and I wasn't happy about it.
"Dr. Hamilton?" Dr. Thomas called.
I looked up. "Yeah?"
"You okay?"
I was sitting at the nurses' station in the emergency room, charting. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?"
"You look off today."
"I'm fine."
"Then, you'll come help me with a patient?"
I nodded. I stood and followed him to a patient.
A middle-aged woman was lying on a stretcher. She looked weak and tired.
He looked at her chart. "Ms. Adams, hi. I'm Dr. Thomas. This is Dr. Hamilton. We'll be taking care of you today. I understand you have some stomach pains."
She nodded and pointed to her left upper quadrant.
He felt her abdomen. He looked at me. "Dr. Hamilton, will you palpate her abdomen?"
I nodded and stepped in. I felt her abdomen. I looked at Dr. Thomas. "Spleen?"
He nodded. "Ms. Adams, I'm going to send you to a scan. Then, we'll go from there."
"Thank you."
He nodded.
I took her to her scans, then I brought her back down to the emergency room. I showed Dr. Thomas the scans.
He nodded and led me back to her room. "Ms. Adams, we're going to take you to the operating room and remove your spleen."
"Do what you have to do," she breathed. "Just make it stop."
We took her to the operating room and scrubbed in while the patient was put to sleep.
We went in the operating room and got gloved and gowned. We got right to work.
Halfway through the operation, I felt immensely dizzy.
"Dr. Hamilton, are you okay?" a nurse asked.
I nodded. "I'm fine." I looked at the patient. Mind over matter. I just had to get through another half an hour or so.
After a few minutes, I knew I couldn't do it. I needed a minute. I met eyes with an intern.
He stepped over. "Dr. Hamilton, may I hold the retractor?"
"What? No," Dr. Thomas spoke.
He looked at him. "Sir, I'd like the opportunity."
"No, Dr. Hamilton isn't moving."
I lasted a few minutes longer. I closed my eyes and felt myself sway.
"Dr. Hamilton?"
I went down.
By the time I hit the floor, I was back with it. Kind of.
"Someone get her a chair!" Dr. Thomas shouted.
I felt someone pull me in a chair.
A nurse dabbed a cloth to my forehead. "Doctor? Dr. Hamilton, can you hear me?"
"I'm-I'm fine," I breathed.
Another nurse put a straw to my lips. "It's water."
I took a sip.
"Someone talk to me," Dr. Thomas spoke.
"I'm fine," I spoke. "I just got a little faint."
Dr. Thomas looked at me. "Are you sick?"
"No, I'm fine."
"And then you fainted."
The Chief came in. "Dr. Hamilton, are you okay?"
I nodded. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"Did you eat this morning?" a nurse asked.
I nodded.
The Chief's face suddenly became almost understanding. He nodded. "I know what's going on."
I looked at him.
He nodded. "Okay. How much more of the surgery is left?"
"We're almost finished here," Dr. Thomas spoke.
The Chief looked at me. "I'll meet you in post-op."
I nodded.
He left.
I stood and took a breath. I walked back over to the operating table.
"I promise I'm good," I spoke.
He nodded and passed me a retractor.
We got back to work.
When the surgery was over, we scrubbed out.
He turned to me. "You gonna tell me what that was all about? I know it's not the hours, because you've done more before."
"Can you keep a secret?"
He nodded.
I handed him my ultrasound.
His eyes widened. "No way. Really?"
I nodded. "Jake told his family and I got upset. I've not spoken to him for two days."
He nodded. "Got it, my lips are sealed. Why don't you want people knowing?"
I told him about Tyler, then about the baby I lost when Jake got back.
"So you're scared."
I nodded.
"That's understandable."
"Thank you! God, I'm still so pissed."
"I would be too."
I sighed.
He handed me the ultrasound and gave me a hug. "I'm here for you, Bridget."
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
He nodded and pulled back. "You have to see the Chief while I check our patient."
We went to post-op.
The Chief sat me down and did a quick exam.
Dr. Willis came over and did an ultrasound. "Okay. You still look good."
"So what happened?" Dr. Thomas asked, stepping over.
She hesitated.
I nodded, "It's okay."
"The blood vessels are developing, so she's not getting enough blood back to herself. She's going to be just fine. It happens a lot in pregnancies."
"Along with headaches, nausea, dizziness, fatigue," I listed.
She nodded.
"I'm charting. I thought I could get through one surgery." I shook my head and looked at Dr. Thomas. "Is she okay?"
"She's fine."
I nodded.
"You can monitor her recovery."
I nodded.
When I was cleared, I took her to her room and went to get a cup of coffee.
My grandfather was there. He bought my coffee and handed it to me.
I thanked him and took a drink.
"So the company and I are doing something for you."
"What's that?"
"We're making you oak nursery furniture."
"Seriously?"
He nodded.
"That's amazing. Thank you."
"I understand you're still worried, as you should be, but we want to be prepared. If it doesn't work out, then we can burn it for warmth."
"Options. Nice. Let's go see Nan."
We went upstairs.
I checked on my grandmother, who was looking incredible. I checked her vitals. "You look good, Nan."
"I feel better," she smiled.
"That's great."
There was a knock on the door.
Jake stood there.
"You should be in bed."
"I should be on speaking terms with my wife."
"I'm with a patient."
"You're with your grandmother."
"Who is a patient! Get out."
"No, because my wife passed out in surgery and I found out from a nurse."
"So?"
"Bridget!" he snapped.
I looked at Granddad. "Does the military voice impress you? Because it doesn't do much for me."
He shook his head.
I looked at Nan. "I'm pleased with your progress. Can I get you anything?"
"How'd the appointment go?" she beamed.
I handed her the ultrasound.
"Oh! Wow. And thanks to you, I'll be seeing this little one grow up. A great-grand-baby. Wow."
"I told her about the furniture."
"What furniture?" Jake asked.
"Bridget's company is making the nursery furniture," Granddad spoke.
"That's something Bridget and I need to decide. As of now, we don't even have a nursery."
"She's not too far along and there's a lot to consider, but we wanted the baby to have nice furniture," Granddad spoke.
"She's my wife and that's my child. I am the father. You don't get a say in this."
"And if what Kelly has told us is true, neither does Bridget," Nan spoke. "She's stressed and she's got the baby inside of her. She deserves a say."
"That's between us."
"Nan, I have to go check on another patient. Call if you need me."
She nodded.
I moved past Jake and checked on my other trial patients. Then, I went to the nurses' station. "Everyone is looking good."
They nodded.
A hand took my wrist and pulled me into an on call room. I was forcefully turned to Jake.
"Hey! Let me go!" I snapped.
"No. You've avoided me for days. No one will tell me anything. You're going to talk to me."
"Jake, I have nothing to say."
He took my other wrist. "I have plenty, but you won't listen. You won't even come to my floor."
"You should have respected my wishes. I had a reason for not telling them, yet."
"They're my family," he growled.
"So are we!" I shouted.
His eyes were full of rage. He looked at me. "I don't understand you. Family talks to family. If there are issues, you talk to me. You don't ignore me, pass out in surgery, and confide in someone else. I'm your husband! I'm the father! I deserve-"
"What do I deserve? I'm carrying the baby. I'm married, but it feels like I'm on my own. I might as well be with Nick all over again."
"Hey!" he shouted. "I do more for you than that asshole ever did!" He shook me, gripping my wrists tighter.
"Jake, stop," I spoke, flinching.
"No. Talk to me."
"Jake-"
"No. You're not leaving until we figure this out."
The door burst open. Security, the Chief, Dr. Thomas, and Kelly were there.
"What the hell is going on in here?" the Chief shouted.
"I needed to talk to Bridget and she won't come see me, so I came to her."
"You walked down here?" Kelly gasped.
"No one would bring me a wheelchair."
"Sgt. Major, let her go," the Chief spoke.
Jake looked at me. He released me.
Dr. Thomas came over with ice ready to go. "I'm a trauma surgeon; I was prepared for everything."
I nodded.
He put the ice to my wrists.
I flinched and looked up. "Security isn't necessary."
The Chief looked at me. "Bridget, if you're in trouble-"
"I'm not in trouble," I spoke.
"Bridget, do you want to bring a baby into such a hostile home?"
"He's not hostile at home."
"PTSD, anger problems, military personality," the Chief listed.
Dr. Thomas removed the ice and looked at my wrists. "Take my hands."
I did, but flinched. "Ouch."
"Chief, her blood flow to her wrists isn't great."
"And she passed out, because her brain didn't get enough blood earlier because of the baby. Okay. Take her to the nurses' station and hook her up to a saline drip."
"Yes, sir."
"Hey, we weren't finished talking," Jake spoke.
"You can talk quietly in a bit when you calm down and she gets hydrated," the Chief spoke.
"Listen-"
"No, you listen. You're the father? The husband? Great. Let us help your wife and baby before you put them both through a wall."
"Uncalled for! Mom, tell him," Jake spoke.
She hesitated.
"Mom!"
"James, I love you, but it wouldn't be the first time you've hurt her on accident. You're stronger than her, especially right now."
Dr. Thomas took me to the station. He put an IV in me and hooked me to a saline drip before he put the ice back to my wrists.
"How loud were we?" I asked.
"The whole floor and floor upstairs heard you."
"Yikes."
"Does he hurt you? You can tell me."
"No. He never has before. When he did, he was having episodes. He's been doing better."
"Bridget," he warned.
I shrugged. "It's only happened a couple times."
The Chief came over. "How is she?"
"I recommend she takes the rest of the day off."
I nodded.
The Chief nodded. "I agree."
"She's okay, sir."
"Let's see her wrists."
Dr. Thomas showed him.
They were swollen and bruised.
The Chief sighed.
I smelled something revolting. "God, what is that smell?"
They looked around.
A nurse was eating a burrito.
"Angie, can you take that somewhere else?" the Chief asked.
She nodded and left.
It was too late. "Trash can."
The Chief got me one right on time.
I got violently ill. By the time I was finished, my body was shaking.
The Chief got me a warm blanket and a toothbrush and paste to clean my mouth out.
When I was finished, Dr. Thomas pulled me on his lap, holding me to his chest.
"What are you-"
"I'm another heat source. Just relax," he spoke, covering me up.
"I-"
"I'm your friend, Bridget."
I nodded.
Security came over. "Sgt. Major is back in his room."
I looked at Dr. Thomas. "Can you take me? Please?"
"Ma'am-" the security guard spoke.
"We can sit across the room. I just need to make sure he didn't hurt his hip coming down here."
They took me upstairs.
Dr. Walker checked Jake. "He looks fine."
Dr. Thomas sat down, holding me to his chest.
Jake's eyes narrowed.
Drew and Melanie didn't say anything.
The Chief and Dr. Walker left the room.
"I'm sorry," Jake spoke. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just upset and angry. You wouldn't talk to me. I didn't know what to do."
"It's okay."
"It's not okay," Jake spoke. "How's the baby?"
"Made me sick, not happy," I mumbled.
"Is that my fault?"
"No, a nurse downstairs," I spoke.
Dr. Thomas rubbed my back.
"I'm not comfortable with this," Jake spoke.
"We're friends. I do it with my daughter all the time."
"You have a kid? Does your wife know you're close with my wife?" Jake asked.
"My wife suffered from a disease that your wife found an amazing treatment for, so I think if she were here, she'd applaud what I'm doing."
Jake was quiet.
"Dr. Thomas?" I mumbled.
"Yeah?"
"Can you take me to an on call room?"
"Yeah, of course."
I was asleep before he even left the room.
***
When I woke, Dr. Thomas and I were laying in bed.
I gasped.
He opened his eyes and groaned.
I sat up. "Did you stay in here with me?"
"You wouldn't let my top go. I didn't have much choice. It's not a problem."
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Thank you."
"No problem. You look better."
"I feel better."
"Let's get your IV out and get you to Jake."
I nodded.
We got up and went to the nurses' station.
He took my IV out and bandaged it up.
Then, I went to Jake's room.
He was asleep. He was also alone.
I sighed and walked in. I went over to him and ran my hands through his hair.
He stirred.
I kissed his forehead.
His hand went to my top. He tugged.
I pulled back and looked at him. "Jake?"
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I promise I'll do better."
"I know you didn't." I gave him a kiss and sighed.
He sighed, "I love you."
"I love you."
He put a hand to my stomach and sighed.
I put a hand over his and removed it from my stomach. "No touching until you can see a bump."
"Why?"
"It's weird."
"Bridget."
"Last major complaint. Promise."
He nodded.
"Is the nursery furniture that big of a deal? Because I was excited by the news," I quietly spoke, biting my lip.
"No, it's not. I was just freaked and angry. What color do you want it? I wanted to paint when I get home."
"It can't wait? We won't even know the gender for a few weeks."
He shrugged.
"Fine, but gender neutral, okay?"
He nodded. "What do you want?"
I shrugged. "I just want a baby. What do you want?"
"A girl has its perks because every guy wants to have a daddy's girl, but I wouldn't mind a boy. I could play sports with him."
I smiled, "You've thought about this, huh?"
He nodded. "Boys are less drama, though."
"True."
"You really don't have a preference?"
I shook my head. "As long as it's healthy, I could care less."
He took my hand. "Don't you have rounds?"
I nodded. "I just wanted to come see you first. I don't like fighting."
"Neither do I."
There was a knock on the door.
I turned.
Dr. Walker stood at the door. "Hey, Sgt. Major, what do you say to going home today?"
"Oh, I'd have to say I love you."
"And I cleared it with the Chief and we want Dr. Hamilton to go with you and take the next two days off, because she's going to kill herself."
"I'm fine."
"That's what you said before you passed out yesterday. You're going home." He handed me papers. "Discharging your husband. You know where to sign."
I signed the papers and handed them to him.
He removed Jake's IV and helped him sit up.
I helped Jake into a wheelchair and collected his things. I texted Diane and Adam. Then, took Jake out front.
Adam pulled up and helped us in the SUV.
We quickly drove home.
When we got there, we got out and went inside.
It felt like forever since I'd been home. It smelled amazing, which meant Vanessa was cooking breakfast.
"I sent her a text to make something for you to eat," Diane spoke.
"Always on top of things," I smiled.
She nodded and stepped out of the room.
Jake and I went into the kitchen.
"Vanessa?"
She turned to face us. "Sgt. Major, you're home!"
"I am. Britt is going to keep me company the next couple days, so we'll both be around."
"Good. You both work too hard."
I shrugged, sitting at the bar.
Jake sat with me and sighed. "Work keeps us going."
"Wait until baby comes. Work less."
"Not for me," I spoke.
Jake looked at me. "Not even a little?"
"Surgical resident who is curing cancer. I can't slow down."
"No worry. I teach Sgt. Major about baby."
I smiled at Jake. "Mr. Mom."
He rolled his eyes. "Fine, but do I at least get a cape?"
I nodded.
He kissed my head.
Diane came in and passed me a coffee and my medicine.
"Should you be drinking so much coffee?" Jake asked.
"It's decaf," Diane responded.
He nodded.
"Diane has me under control. Anything you do, she does ten times that," I spoke.
He nodded. "Right hand woman."
Diane nodded. "And probably super nanny when the baby comes. I was thinking and I think it would be best if the baby is near Dr. Hamilton, so I could bring the baby to the hospital for your lunch break."
"I could bring the baby to the hospital," Jake spoke.
"Take shifts. Otherwise, it'll get old after a while," I suggested.
They nodded.
I took a drink of coffee and sighed.
Jake put a hand on my leg. "You okay?"
I nodded.
He was quiet.
After lunch, we went upstairs.
Jake changed into pajama pants and a shirt.
I changed out of my scrubs. Before I dressed, I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the vast mirror.
I couldn't believe I was pregnant again. It didn't seem real.
Jake came in. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, fine."
He walked over. "You have the most beautiful body."
I blushed. "Jake-"
He gave me a kiss. "I've just never seen you look at yourself before."
"I just-I can't believe it. I'm pregnant. There's a baby growing inside me."
He smiled, "I know, it's amazing."
I smiled, "I better go get dressed."
He pulled me back into the bedroom.
I slipped on a nightgown and got into bed. I smiled at him.
He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my head.
I sighed.
It had been a long couple of days. There had been too much fighting. We had been through too much. We needed to work on us, because the baby was coming and we couldn't afford to break when we needed each other the most.