"Well that went surprisingly better then I thought." Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth when it's just Calum and I. The rest of the evening went really well, In fact it was like a normal family get together in the end, You wouldn't of even known that Calum and I had dropped a wedding bomb on everyone.
"Yeah, Strange." Calum shakes his head. "I think they are both going to be nightmares over the next couple of months though." Calum says referring to our mothers and I knew it was right, They were already going over things for the wedding by the end of the night. Calum and I would need to start getting organised because we would have to make a lot decisions and quickly.
"They'll be like Mumzilla's." I joke and Calum snorts.
"They will be." Calum lets out a yawn before stretching his arms out. He almost looked like an overly tired pouty toddler which I thought was adorable.
"Think you can stay up a little longer?" I ask Calum raising my eyebrows at him mischievously.
"Uh probably." Calum gives me a curious look. "Why?"
"Just come with me." I instruct him before turning away from him only to make my way upstairs. We had both had a pretty eventful night and I figure that the perfect for us to whine down would be to take a nice bubble bath together. It really wasn't something Calum and I did often but whenever we did, it was always so relaxing and not to mention just a wee bit intimate.
Calum leans on the door frame watching in amusement while I turn the water on and then add the bubble bath which smelt like a delightful bouquet of flowers. Calum always claimed that my bubble bath was way too girly smelling but I know that he secretly loved it.
"Hey Cal this is okay right?" I ask him suddenly feeling a little nervous. It had been months since anything remotely physically had happened between Calum and I. In fact the last time he had even seen me properly naked was probably the night I miscarried when he had to dress me for bed.
I can't say it doesn't break my heart to think back to the night because I think it always would but I needed to not dwell on the sadness or lost on that night. I couldn't do that, I obviously needed to feel the pain but I also needed to get to a point where it didn't hurt as much and I think I was slowly getting there.
I just hoped Calum was too.
"What? Of course it is." Calum assures me making all my nerves disappear in an instant. It was odd how different Calum and I had been with each other since the miscarriage, I mean we were always that affectionate couple who would get yelled at by friends and family to keep our hands off each other, of course we never listened. I guess I knew things would change between us but I guess I didn't think things would be so different for so long. I missed us, I missed the couple we used to be but lately I had been thinking that maybe I needed to not dwell on who we were in the past and maybe I needed to start focusing on the people we would in the future.
After all in a few months time, Calum and I would be married.
"So are you going to take your clothes off?" Calum asks with a smirk, taking me right back to the day when we first showered together, the first time we were ever really intimate with each other. I still to this day remember how nervous I was about the whole thing, the idea of being naked with Calum in such an enclosed space made me feel dizzy back then, it still did now but just in the best way ever.
"Oh that's right ladies first huh?" I snort shaking my head at him in amusement. I keep complete eye contact with him as reach behind to pull the zipper of my dress down then let it graciously fall down to pool at the bottom of my feet. Calum lets out a Sharpe breath at the sight of me in just my underwear, the dress that I had worn tonight didn't work with a bra so I wasn't wearing one.
"Wow." Calum mumbles his eyes drinking me in. I still loved the fact that he always looked at me like it was the first time. It made me feel incredibly special and loved.
"So." I start then stop only so I can pull my underwear down my legs. "I think it's your turn now." I tell him and he smirks at me before taking a step forward so that he could join me in the bathroom.
I dip my hand in the water to test the water and I'm happy at the temperature so I turn the tapes off and look back at Calum who was now shirtless.
"Tut Tut." I grin at him. "We don't have all night." I tease and he lets out a chuckle as he pulls his jeans down his legs. I turn back to the bath and dip both of my feet in before sinking down in to the warm water, it instantly relaxed me and the smell from my bubble bath was just amazing.
"I thought we weren't allowed to leave our clothes on the floor?" Calum asks me getting my attention. My breath hitches in my throat at the sight of him standing in front of me completely naked. I didn't even know when the last time I saw him naked was which was a shame because it was a incredible sight.
"Excuse me?" I raise my eyebrows at him and watch as he scoops up our discarded clothes before chucking them in the laundry basket that was in our bathroom.
"Oh right." I smirk at him as he comes to join me in the bath. I always complain about Calum not putting his clothes in the laundry basket yet I had just done the same thing. At least he knew how annoying it was to pick up after someone else washing now.
"Right." Calum retorts and I roll my eyes at him. "Can you come over here?"
"Nope." I shrug popping the 'p'. Calum and I were both sitting at opposite side of the bath, which was usual for us. "You come here."
"Fine, I won't be the difficult one." Calum says moving over to me.
"Can I wash your back?" I ask him and he shrugs before turning around so that his back was towards me. I never quite understood how someone could have an attractive back but then again nothing about Calum was ugly so I suppose it made sense.
"Did I ever tell you her name?" Calum asks five minutes later. I had basically finished cleaning his back now and I was mainly just drawing patterns on it now, but Calum didn't seem to mind.
"Who?" I question him not having any idea who he could be talking about.
"You know my dream that I had about...our daughter." Calum says turning to look at me. He looks like he's in deep thought and I can't help but smile at him. I hadn't told him and I didn't know If I ever would but I loved the fact that he had dreamed of a little girl, who could be half of me and half of him. We obviously didn't get the chance to find out whether the baby was a boy or girl but I just like Calum for some reason thought it was a girl or at least we both saw the baby being a girl.
"You didn't tell me her name." I answer his question from before and he nods.
"It was Gracie." Calum informs me and I take a few seconds to process it. I liked the name and from what Calum had told me about his dream, she suited it.
"It's pretty."
"Yeah." Calum frowns looking down at the water. I knew he was still hurting, we both were and he saw a visual of our possible child, he lost our baby not only in real life but also in his dreams.
"Cal." I say softly reaching my hand to lift his face to meet mine. "I don't know when but I know that someday...when the time is right, we'll make another life together. We'll give that baby everything it needs and more and we'll be the luckiest parents ever. You know that right?"
"Yeah I do. I guess I just thought that someday would be a lot sooner when you got pregnant and then it was gone." Calum admits and I feel my heart break just a little. Even though we weren't planning on getting pregnant when I did, we were still excited. It was still something we wanted and it absolutely sucked to have that and then have it taken away.
"I know." I sigh. "Do you know what I also know?"
"What?" Calum raises his eyebrows at me in curiosity. I did after all know a lot of things.
"I know that even though we never got the chance to met our baby, it knew us and loved us." I tell him and get a glimpse at that beautiful smile of his.
"I love you."
"I love you too." Calum pulls me to him without any warning and presses his lips to mine sweetly.
-Twenty Minutes later
I'm the first to go back in to the bedroom, my towel wrapped securely around my chest. I felt so content and refreshed and I knew that the bath really was the perfect way to wind down before bed. I can't but hum happily as I walk over to my dressers and look for something to sleep in, even though I'm sure Calum would be more then happy If I slept naked. Unfortunately for Calum I just wasn't one of those people.
I can't help but think about our conversation in the bath about our baby, our gracie. It hurt to talk about it all but it also felt good. Calum and I seemed to be on the same page with things and I was so proud of us for facing it together. Grief was never an easy thing to face but we were doing okay at the moment.
My ears perk at the sound of the bathroom door closing and I know that Calum has finally finished whatever he was doing in the bathroom. Within a few minutes I feel Calum's arms wrap around my waist from behind.
"Genie." Calum mumbles then places a swift kiss to the left side of my jaw. "I was thinking..."
"You were thinking?" I question putting a stop to searching through my drawer so I can turn to face Calum. He had an odd look on his face which instantly made me concerned. "What's wrong?" I suddenly demand and he shakes his head at me.
"Nothing's wrong Genie." Calum gives me a light smile. "I was just thinking that I want you. Like now." Calum tells me and I can't help but widen my eyes at him.
"Are you sure?" I ask him softly. I knew that this was a very big deal for the both of us, and I also knew that not too long ago Calum wasn't ready to be intimate again. I didn't want to push him in to anything, he needed to one hundred percent sure about this because it was such a huge step in the healing process.
"Yeah I am." Calum nods. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately and It just kinda dawned on me that the miscarriage didn't happen because we had sex...well it did." Calum shakes his head. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah I do." I smile and he instantly looks relieved.
"I just I don't want it to hold me back from anything anymore." Calum admits. "It hurt like hell and I really don't know how we've manage to move forward but we have. I just wanna be with you Genie, I miss you and I miss us." My heart flutters in my chest at his words, he had no idea how much I had been waiting to hear those words from him.
"I'm happy you feel the same way I do." I tell him then bring my hands up to cup his cheeks. "I just I don't want to rush anything you know?" Calum's eyes instantly soften at my words and I know he can sense my worry. I didn't want to have to worry but I couldn't help it. I just didn't want us to take this huge step without him being fully ready for it. Calum lets out a small sigh as he moves his arms from around my waist, only to reach for my hands a couple of seconds later.
"We're not. I just feel like I'm starting to loose it. I need to be with you and I need to feel you again." Calum tells me and I can't help but melt at his words because I felt the exact same way. God I missed him.
"As long as you're sure." I say once again and Calum shoots me a small smirk.
"I'm sure." Calum reassures me then entwines his hands with mine before leading us over to the bed. My stomach was tying itself in knots in anticipation. Calum and I had always had such a phenomenal sex life, somehow things between us had only seemed to get better and I couldn't wait to just feel him again.
He presses his lips to mine and I feel like I'm floating at just the familiar feeling of his lips on mine. This wasn't like any of the kisses we shared recently, it just felt so different, we felt different. His tongue swept gently across my lips, parting them and coming together with mine, and in that moment I feel the most overwhelming feeling wash over my body. It felt like every emotion that I had denied for the last couple of months was washing all over me at once and although the feeling was intense, it was also so unbelievably amazing. It felt like I was waking up from a nightmare to learn that he'd had the same one and that he understood completely without any words.
We kissed deeply for a few minutes before Calum lays us back on the bed, making sure to not disconnect our lips in the process.
I lay beneath him, and let myself indulge in just feeling the weight of him again. It had been a long time since we had even made out like this and I was doing my best to soak it all in. It doesn't take long for him to tug at the towel still wrapped around my body and within seconds he has it off.
Calum pulls back all of a sudden and all I can think is that he's changed his mind. He isn't actually ready but then he just stares down at me, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"What?" I ask feeling a little breathless already. Calum's eyes drop from mine and flicker down my body before coming back up to meet my eyes.
"You're just so beautiful Genie."
"So are you." I tell him and bring my hand up to trace my fingertips against his pink lips, then up to follow the line of his eyebrow before dragging my fingertips lightly down to trace his wonderfully sharp smooth jaw. Calum watches me closely before pressing a soft kiss to my lips, he drags his lips down to my neck seconds later and begins to lightly suck and nip at my sweet spot. I close my eyes and focus, wanting to feel nothing but him.
I can't help but let a few moans slip from lips at the feeling of his mouth, he knew exactly what to do and where to do it and that in itself was a turn on. Even though it had been awhile he still knew my body like nobody else ever would and I knew that I knew his just as well.His hands ghosted ever so delicately along my sides as his mouth begins to travel down the center of me, to my collarbone, my heart, my breasts. When he reaches my stomach he stills, the tip of his nose barely touching my skin. I could feel his breathing, heavy as if he was holding back tears again.
"It's okay," I coaxed softly, running my hands through his hair. Finally he closes his eyes and presses his lips to my belly. He holds himself there for several moments and I know that he's thinking about what we lost, just like I was. We had lost more then just our baby, we had the lost all the future plans that we had already made in our heads, we had lost the idea of us as parents, and the idea of us with a baby. We had lost so much and we were still working through that loss.
"Cal." I whisper and He looks back up at me. "Come here." I instruct and he gives me a look of confusion.
"I thought you-" Calum starts but I cut him off by shaking my head. Foreplay really wasn't important to me right now, I just wanted to feel him, every inch of him.
"I just want to feel you, I need to feel you." I tell him and I know he understands. He crawls back up to me and presses his lips against mine again. I reach down and pull his towel from his waist before chucking it to the ground. There was no barriers in between us now. There was nothing stopping us from being together again, in a way that we both needed.
Calum slowly pulls away a few seconds later and looks at me a little awkwardly. "Do we..Do I need a condom?"
"I'm back on birth control." I tell him and he looks a little sad but the sadness is soon gone when he shoots me a grin.
"Thank god." Calum says. "I need to be able to feel all of you." I want to roll my eyes at him and his boyish comment but I knew he didn't mean it like that, I knew he just wanted to be fully connected to me once again.
I reach my hand down to him and with seconds he's in the palm of my hand. Bringing him to life, bringing him back to me. I pump my hand against him a few times, getting a throaty groan from Calum in the process. It felt good to have that power again, to know that I was making him feel good again.
Calum reaches for my hand and entwines it with his own before stretching our arms up and placing them on the bed above my head. He lines himself at my entrance then slowly sinks in to me. We both exhale and close our eyes, needing to embrace the feeling of being connected like this again.
I gently push my hips up tighter to his, needing every inch of him inside me.
The feeling of him and me together again is euphoric and I never want this feeling to end. I never want to be without him, I just never want us to have that disconnect ever again.
"You feel so good, holy shit." Calum groans deeply and it has to be one of the hottest things ever.
He brings his face to mine, our noses touching, our lips grazed. "I love you, so f.ucking much." I nodded because I already knew. I never doubted it. He slipped back and then pushed deep again and I felt my cracks and broken bits fuse together slowly. With each thrust, with each kiss, with each squeeze of his hand and breath down my neck, he was fixing me.
"I love you too." I managed to say in between breaths. And god I did, I had never in any relationship felt the way I did with Calum. The love I had for Calum was like a once in a lifetime love, I wanted everything with him and I wanted to be with him till the day I died. The love that I had for him was consuming but I wouldn't want it any other way.
I listened to him make small gentle noises and it was so rewarding. I loved knowing that I could give him this much pleasure, all I wanted to do was please him, to make him happy. He takes me by surprise when he lifts his hips up then takes my hips in his hand and rolls me up to him. I almost want to burst with how much pleasure he was giving me, he was just so perfect. He knew where I needed him and most importantly he knew how.
"Oh God, Calum. Don't stop, It feels so good."
We continue like this until it becomes too much for him, I then lay my hips back down to the bed. The change in position making him feel even deeper in me as he picks up his pace.. I dig my nails into his bicep and moan out in complete pleasure. I was glad that he wasn't treating me like he could break me, he was just treating me like normal after all this time and funnily enough it was when it mattered the most. I don't know if I could handle him treating me like some fragile doll, I needed to feel strong, to feel sexy, to feel wanted and that's exactly how he was making me feel.
"God, I missed you," he groaned and my blood sparked in my veins.
He alternated his pace. Giving me the slow, dipping wave once again,the deep, strong thrusting that I craved. Our bodies were burning for release. It'd been far too long since we had been together and I knew we were both becoming overwhelmed. I don't how or what he does but he somehow seems to get push even deeper in to me, making me let out a gasp in pleasure. I cling to his shoulders and dig my nails in to his skin once again causing a hiss to escape from lips. It only took seconds for this position to pull me away from reality and leave me floating and spinning in an alternate universe. One with no pain or bad memories. One with only him and this light and his warmth.
"I love the way you sound," he whispers against my lips as I came around him and within seconds he was following. Leaving everything he had deep inside me.
When stay in this position for a few minutes just soaking up the moment, The moment where we found our way to each other again. Where we reminded each other that no matter what, we'd still have the other.
I can't help but feel empty when he pulls himself out of me. He drops himself on to his stomach next to me and I relish in the closeness. I turn to on my side and snuggle closer to him, pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder. I knew that we both felt normal for the first time in a long time and I hoped that that feeling last for forever.
"You're the rest of my life....you know that, right?" His voice was sleepy and warm and his words filled the seams of my broken heart. He open his eyes that had been closed moments ago to look at me and I feel instant warmth at the sight of his beautiful brown eyes.
"I do." I smile at him and he gives me a tired smile before burying his face in the crook of my neck. I let out a content sigh and start running my fingertips up and down Calum's back, I just felt the need to touch him. I had miss being this close with him and I didn't want to miss it again.
We stay like this for awhile but then I know I need to get up. I let out a small groan as I pull myself up.
"Where are you going?" Calum asks me, his eyes remaining shut.
"To turn off the light." I tell him and a cheeky smile finds it's way to his lips. He probably left it on, on purpose. I turn the light off and then find a random shirt of Calum's to throw on.
"Get under the blanket babe." I tell Calum when I'm back by the bed. I tug at the blanket on my side and hop back in to bed. Calum lets out a groan before sitting up and slipping under the covers. He pulls me to him almost immediately and I can't help but smile because I knew that everything was going to be alright, If we could of gone thorough what we did and come out the other side then there was nothing we couldn't survive.
A/N: Hello lovely people!! I am finally back and I am so happy about it. If you didn't see my message about why I've been gone then you just need to know that I'm moving house and so we didn't have the internet but we do now! I hope you like this chapter because it took me forever to write, I know you always have wanted a full fledged smut chapter with Galum and so here it is. So let me know if you all like it and if you want more smut scenes like this and I'll do my best to make it happen haha, It's just a wee bit awkward to do but I'll do it if you really want me to.
If you haven't already then check out my other Calum fic The Fame Game! I may be biased but I think it's pretty great and I have some big things planned for it so maybe check it out? Also it's really cool to see new readers and a few more comments on here!! I love you all, and I will hopefully post the next chapter on Thursday. My goal is to back in to weekly updates for you all.
P.S. I'm so excited for the next chapter like s.hit it about to get real ;)