-Violet-
The box sat on my desk.
It's been sitting on my desk since Christmas. Sometimes I sit and stare at, other times I throw a shirt over it. I haven't opened it and I'm not sure I want to. At least not right now. It's Reese's idea of closure, but it's also his idea of potentially making me feel bad. I know Reese. He hasn't changed, not really. He's still Reese. He looks the same, only slightly different. His voice a little deeper and his eyes a little paler. But it's Reese.
When you're sixteen, you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with the first boy you fall in love with. That's how I felt with Reese and I always made fun of that in movies. Then I fell in love with Reese, the bag boy from the grocery store and part time troublemaker. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. It was hard to picture a life without Reese in it.
Then he left and it changed.
People leave and you have to get used to it.
I healed after Reese. Maybe not completely, but I was better and I learned not to let my feelings depend on anyone else but my mom and my brothers. I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy, but I didn't know that when Reese left. Happiness was this distant thing that I had no idea how to reach.
Now there's James.
And my heart is swelling all over again. When I look at him I feel it like an electric pulse. It's nothing I felt with Reese. It's what I thought I felt until it became a reality. I'll always love Reese, but in such a different way than I did before. I can't see myself with Reese and I can't see myself without James. I'm not going to let my feelings to depend on James, but I'm not going to be happy if he decides to leave.
I don't even want to think about that being a possibility.
And I know Reese is bothering him. The letters that sit on my desk are causing trouble.
As I stared at them, I can just feel myself getting angry.
I walked over to my desk and picked the box up from the surface. After turning around in a small circle, I decided they'd be best under my bed for now until I'm ready to read them. With a small shove, I pushed them under until it hit something hard.
When I stood back up, Gray walked into my room with a raised brow. "Being destructive?" He asked and leaned against the doorframe.
"Not yet," I replied. "Give me a hammer and let me loose in your room."
"I'd rather not give you any tools." He grinned. "What are you shoving under your bed? Another dead body?"
I leaned my head to the side and smiled. "How'd you guess?"
Gray just shrugged.
"I was just putting away the box Reese gave me. Kind of tired of looking at it and it's an eye sore when James comes over."
"Don't you think you should've done that in the first place? It couldn't be easy for him to look at it."
"I know, I should've thought about it."
"Do you love him?"
"I love James a lot," I retorted. "Why are you asking?"
Gray's lips twisted into a smile. "Just seeing which person came to mind first."
"There's no question about it," I said quickly. "It's James. I'll always choose James no matter what."
He nodded, a smile still on his lips. "Good, because I actually like James."
* * *
The next week went by slowly.
It was weird working on the top floor with Claire. The view was gorgeous and I got a bigger desk, but sometimes I miss the fifth floor when I was only an intern.
Only an intern.
Everything has changed so much since September. It's hard to believe it was five months ago. The day I met James and a week later my life was turned around. It was turned around for the better.
I like where I work. Occasionally I'll help Jimmy in IT, which is a great excuse to visit the server room. Other days Claire will tell me to help Susan in human resources with filing. Apparently they appreciated my organizing skills and decided to put them to good use.
But overall, I really did like working here. The money I made goes into my college fund and I give some to my mom to help with bills. She's less stressed, she's happy, and I wouldn't trade seeing my mom smile for the world. In just four short months, I'll be graduating high school finally. Pretty sure I can't get out of that place fast enough.
James stays pretty busy now that his dad lives in New York. He seems okay and he's dealing with it all day by day. Claire on the other hand isn't as put together as she usually is, but James is there to help her.
We haven't been spending too much time together because we both have school and a job to tend to. Obviously James has more to deal with and I can tell it's taking a toll on him. Dark smudges run under his eyes from lack of sleep and I've been getting two A.M. phone calls because he can't sleep. It worried me, but every time I asked him, he just tells me it's school and the company.
* * *
On Saturday, James planned to work while his mom took a break. It happened to be a day I was scheduled to work too. But it was still surprising to see James standing in her office Saturday morning, dressed in black from head to toe. He was rummaging through papers on her desk when I stepped up to the threshold and knocked on the glass door.
His head shot up and I noticed his blue eyes popped out against the dark circles under his eyes. "Hey," He said hoarsely and looked back down at the papers. "Do you know where my mom put Tim Wesley's file? I can't find it anywhere. She told me she needed me to look over it—"
I stepped towards the desk and pulled a folder out from under a leather bound notebook. "She called me this morning."
He sighed and grabbed the folder from my hand. "Thank you."
"Do you need anything?" I asked.
Without looking up, he shook his head.
I retreated to my desk just a few feet away from the office doors. James finally sat down at the desk and picked up the phone to make a call. I proceeded to sit down and start by taking messages off of the machine. It probably didn't matter since Claire wasn't here.
When I got to the last message, my heart paused when I heard David's voice on the recording. "Why won't you talk to me?" Sigh. "Don't hate me. Please don't hate me." Click.
I put the phone back on the hook and dropped my head before pressing my fingers to my temples. What the hell was going on?
"Everything okay?"
Opening my eyes, I noticed I wrote the message down on the pad. I quickly slid my hand over it before lifting my head to meet James's gaze. "Yeah, just a headache."
He tucked his hands in his pockets and nodded. "I'm going to need you to take my calls for a couple of hours. Joseph needs me for a meeting that I have no idea about, so I guess it'll be a surprise."
I snorted. "Have fun. I'll take messages."
James smiled a little. Even though he looked tired, he managed to smile. "Would you care to stay with me tonight?"
"Yeah...I'll stay," I said softly.
His smile widened a tick. "Thank you." And he left towards the elevators.
The floor was too quiet. The employees around me were too engrossed in their work to even pay attention to us except Peggy, an older woman that had a permanent scowl on her face. She didn't like me and she didn't like James. Actually, I'm not too sure she liked anyone. She just sat at her desk, typing away on her computer.
Even Peggy's glare couldn't distract me from James. God, I worried about him. I just wanted to make things better for him and take away whatever wills his pain. Part of it is his dad leaving and the other part is life and what it has to offer. The house I live in is full and happy while James is alone. James is my family too now and I don't want to see him this way.
I just want it to get better.
* * *
"Are you hungry?" James asked.
The apartment door shut behind me. "Not really," I murmured and started to remove my jacket. I draped it over the arm of his couch and paused.
James shrugged out of his suit jacket and placed it where mine was. "I'm not either," He responded.
Once I kicked my shoes off, I walked up to him and took his hand. "Come on." With a small tug, he followed me into his bedroom. The sun was just setting, so the room glowed a vibrant orange. James didn't say anything when I started to unbutton his black shirt. It was easy to get him out of his clothes and into a comfortable pair of sweat pants.
I climbed on his bed first and opened my arms for him to crawl into. James rested his head on my chest, tilted up slightly so I felt his breath across my neck. I speared my fingers through his dark hair and he sighed. His arm drifted over my stomach and tucked around my waist. While I kept one hand in his hair, I used my free one to brush my fingertips over the bare skin of his back. The smoothness was like velvet against my fingers. His hold around my waist tightened for a moment and he leaned his head back further so he could bury his face in the crook of my neck.
I twisted my head around and pressed a small kiss to his forehead.
We didn't talk.
More than anything I wanted to know what was on his mind, but I'd rather him fall asleep to rid himself of the dark smudges. He snored quietly and I knew he had fallen asleep, but his grip on me remained.
I spent the next two hours just mindlessly running my fingers through his hair and leaving small kisses on his sleeping face. You're probably thinking it's weird to watch your boyfriend sleep, but it's really not. It's the most peaceful I've seen James in a month and I didn't want to miss it. His delicate features softened and I couldn't help but trace my fingers across.
In every sense of the word, James is beautiful. When he's sleeping, when he's happy, and even when he's angry or sad. It sounds twisted to think someone's beautiful when they're sad or angry, but James is. No, I don't like it when he's sad or angry. He's just...beautiful.
I found myself staring too strongly at him in the dark. His solid features only a silhouette of what they are.
He shifted in my arms and let out a long breath. I kissed his temple and he relaxed once again, but didn't wake up. Soon enough, I was asleep too.
* * *
James was up when I opened my eyes.
This time I was in his arms and his intense blue eyes stared down at me. I let my eyes flutter so I could get rid of the sleepy blur that clouded my vision. He was smiling down at me and he moved a strand of hair from my face. "Good morning,"
"Morning?" I questioned.
"Well, it's one in the morning so close enough." He chuckled.
I let out a small laugh and rolled onto my back to stretch my arms out. "Did you sleep well?"
"I did actually." He reached over and lightly touched my cheek. "Thank you."
"I'm worried about you."
"It's okay," He whispered. "I'm just overworked. This thing with my dad leaving...I'm just trying to help my mom and school work is a lot to keep up with too."
"You need to take a break, James," I urged. "You're going to have a mental breakdown."
"She needs help," He said.
I shook my head. "I know, but you need help too." I flipped on my side to face him better. "Let me help you in ways that I can."
He smiled and leaned in to give me a small kiss. "You are helping me, Violet. Just by being here you're helping. Being with you is the only peace of mind I actually get because I know you don't want anything from me."
"There is something I want from you though." I grinned.
James raised a brow. "Oh?"
"Yeah. I need about two million dollars, a new car, a pet lion and—"
He kissed me before I could say anything else and we both ended up laughing. "Shut up."
I laughed and kissed him again. "You love me anyway."
"That I do." When he leaned in again, he stopped just short of my lips and I opened my eyes to meet his. "You weren't serious about the two million were you?"
Another laugh tumbled from my lips. "No, you idiot."
"Hey! I'm just making sure, there's no need for name calling."
"Are you saying you'd actually give me two million dollars?"
"Yeah and the pet lion."
More laughing. "But not the new car?"
He smirked. "You could just use the two million."
I moved my hands and caressed his face in my hands. "Do I get to keep you too?"
James dramatically rolled his eyes. "You can't have me and the lion, Vi. It just doesn't work that way."
"Fine." I sighed. "I guess I'll choose the lion."
He started laughing so hard, he actually snorted.
"I'm selfish," I said. "I want both."
James calmed enough to look at me again. "You can have anything you want," He said softly, bracing a hand on the nape of my neck.
I wrapped my fingers around his arm and leaned into him. "You. I want you."
His lips barely brushed mine. "I'm already yours."
I smiled and sealed my lips over his. Then like the asshole my stomach is, it decided to grumble and James pulled away so he could laugh. Even though my face was burning, I couldn't help but laugh too. "Kiss and feed me, remember?"
James threw the covers off his body and climbed out of bed. "I remember. Come on and I'll order something."
"It's one in the morning," I reminded him and got out of the bed.
"That pizza place across the street is open twenty-four hours and I'm pretty sure they deliver. That's only because we're so close to the college campus."
I snorted. "Makes sense."
James walked into the kitchen and I sat down on the couch. It basically gave Chaos permission to jump on the surface and attack me. I started thinking about that weird voicemail from David and I wanted to tell James about it. But he's finally smiling and laughing, I don't want to bring it up. I just feel like I have to. Or call Claire and tell her about it.
"Hey, James," I started. "Are your parents talking?"
"Uh, I think so," He called back. "Why?"
"No reason." I sighed and placed my hand on Chaos's head.
A few minute past and James came in the living room and sat next to me. Chaos moved from my lap to sit across James's. I was fighting an inner battle with myself because I wanted to tell James about the message. Shit. "Your dad called the office phone," I blurted.
"Really?" His tone held surprise.
"Yeah, he was looking for your mom." I took a deep breath and exhaled. "He left a weird message. Kind of cryptic."
James smoothed a palm down Chaos's soft black coat. "What did he say?"
I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. "He asked why she won't talk to him and then said he doesn't want her to hate him. I was scared to tell you because I didn't want you to be upset."
He shook it head. "I'm fine, but I don't understand the message. My mom has been acting weird lately."
"I noticed," I mumbled. "I'm guessing they didn't leave on good terms."
"Not exactly, but they haven't really been on good terms for years."
"Yeah, but still. I think your dad leaving is doing more damage than he thinks it would've."
James glanced at me and down at Chaos's sleeping form across his lap. "Well, it's going to have to be something they have to work out together. I'm done getting in the middle of it."
"I'm sorry." I let go of my breath. "How's Meredith taking it?"
He shrugged a shoulder. "She seems to be fine with it. She was never close to our dad anyway. I've always been close to my mom, but Mere was always independent. We were close at one point and you'd think as twins we'd basically be inseparable." He gave a slight shake of his head. "We're fine though. My mom will be fine and I'll be fine. Everyone's going to be fine."
I smiled sadly. "You should talk to your mom sometime. Make sure things are okay on her end."
"I will," He said. "I'll go over there tomorrow or technically today."
"Good." I placed a hand on his forearm and tightened my fingers gently. "I missed you by the way."
He looked at me and his lips curved slightly. "I missed you too, Vi."
I searched his eyes and smiled too. He was still tired, I could tell. But there was a small glint in his eyes that told me he was still in there, it's just going to take some time.
And I'll be here when that happens.
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The next chapter will be the last chapter!! I really don't want this story to end, but it's time lol. It'll be in James's point of view and the epilogue (Yes, I decided to do one lol) it'll be in Violet's point of view.
Not sure when either will be up. Hopefully sometime next week.
Please vote and comment!!!!!!!! :)