-Five Days Later.
Healing is such a strange process. There are days when you feel like things are getting better, the pain has started to fade and you're sure that sometime soon you will almost be back to the person you use to be, but then there are those days when you can't even see yourself making it to tomorrow, and it's usually on those days when the pain demands to be felt and reminds you just how bad you can hurt. For me though, I've found that for the healing process it is almost essential to live through each day and take it as it is, regardless if it's a good or bad day because that's what helps you heal. You need to remember the pain but you also need to remember that it fades and that things can get better.
I think after our talk Calum had started to understand that remembering the pain of loosing the baby was important to help him move on. He had seemed to be doing a whole better already and that reminded me just how strong we were and how much we had grown both as people and as a couple.
I was proud of him and of myself because we had gone through one of the worse possible things ever but we were healing, we were continuing with our lives and trying to rebuild ourselves back up, and I knew that our baby, even though we'd never met was proud too.
"I think we need to talk about the wedding." I blurt getting Calum's attention. We were currently in the living room just watching tv, well I was watching tv and Calum was texting and emailing away on his phone.
"What about it?" Calum raises his eyebrows at me. We hadn't talked much about the wedding since we decided we wanted to get married in less then two months, and I knew that if we were going to go through with that then we should probably let everyone know and start getting things together.
"Do you still want to get married in June?" I question him. "I'm only asking because we need to start planning and also because I want to make sure that you're sure."
"What do you mean make sure that I'm sure?" Calum frowns looking confused. I'll admit that after our talk that there was a small part of me that thought that Calum was only wanting to rush the wedding because he felt like he needed to marry me to I don't know...prove something? And he has been a little over the place lately.
"I just want to make sure that this is something that you really want." I admit and Calum's face drops and I know exactly what he's thinking. "I'm not having second thoughts Cal, I just don't want you doing something you feel like you need to do or anything like that. I know things have been hard since the baby and I just don't want that to be the reason why you want to get married so soon."
"Genie do you know when I knew I wanted to marry you?" Calum asks and I shake my head at him. "Well you already know about my embarrassing crush that I had on you in high school and this is only going to make it even more embarrassing but as soon as I saw you at the ball all I could think was that I wanted to marry you someday." (A/N: A ball is basically a prom.)
"What?" I look at him in surprise. I don't think I even spoke to Calum for more then five minutes at our ball and If I I'm being honest I absolutely hated my ball dress so to think that that's when Calum knew he wanted to marry me was both flattering and mortifying.
"I don't know what it was but as soon as I saw you I just knew and it scared the shit out of me because you were dating my best friend and I didn't think I had a chance." Calum says a small smile playing on his lips. "I just knew it was you and that hasn't changed Genie okay? I get why you're a little doubtful but you really don't need to be."
"I wish I went to prom with you." I say and Calum smiles. It really still baffled me how I could of overlooked Calum for all those years, I was so utterly blind and stupid.
"Yeah me too." Calum chuckles. "I've never been more jealous of Michael then I was that night."
"Don't let him know that." I snort knowing that if Michael ever heard those words from Calum's mouth he would never let him down. I'm sure Michael already knew that Calum was jealous about our short lived high school romance but Michael never really said anything about it, which considering how much crap Michael loved to give Calum and everyone else was quite surprising.
"I would never." Calum shakes his head before shooting me a mischievous smirk. "So Genie how did your ball night end?"
"I was at home before my curfew which was midnight and I went straight to bed." I answer raising my eyebrows at him in confusion. Calum had never asked me about the ball before and his question seemed a little odd.
"Oh so that wasn't the night Michael fingered you then?" Calum asks looking beyond amused.
"Oh my god." I groan covering my face with my hands, I still hated them all for bringing that up. It was just horrifying to relive. "I hate you."
"You love me." Calum laughs before pulling my hands away from my face. "But honestly Genie, I still want to marry you and I still want the wedding to be in June."
"Well you know what that means then." I smirk at him and a small frown finds it's way to his fast.
"We need to tell our mothers."
"Right." Calum grins and I shake my head at him. We both knew telling those two was going to be a little messy. I just hoped they weren't too upset with us.
<~>
"I am not going on any blind dates!" Sam practically yells through the phone and I can't help but laugh at her response to my suggestion. The girls and I had all been trying to get Sam back out on the dating scene but it was proving to be very difficult.
"Why not? You had no problem forcing me to go on them." I point out remembering all the horrible dates I had gone on because of Sam, In a way though I was grateful because if it wasn't for all those blind dates then I wouldn't of complained to Calum about them and he wouldn't of came up with the boyfriend project and I wouldn't of gone along with it. So thank you Sam.
"That was different. You wanted a boyfriend, I don't." Sam huffs. "I'm perfectly happy being single."
"Really?" I ask in amusement. Sam was one of the only people I knew who couldn't stand to be single, she was just a relationship type of girl and that was perfectly fine but she just needed to own it, not try to deny it.
"Really." Sam chuckles. "I know you and the girls are just trying to help but I'm not ready to date yet and when I am, I'll let you all know."
"Okay deal." I tell her. I knew Sam all too well and she wasn't the type of person who responded to being pushed, she needed to do things in her own time and I could respect that.
"So I wouldn't be me if I didn't ask...How's the wedding planning going?" Sam questions sounding excited.
"It's going.." I tell her not wanting to tell her Calum and I's plans until we had told our parents, which we were planning to do tomorrow night.
"Whenever you need any help you know where to find me." Sam tells me once again and I have to roll my eyes in amusement, If I had a dollar for all the times she had told me that I would probably rich.
"Thanks Sammi, Look I better go but I'll call you tomorrow okay?"
"Alright Bye Genie." Sam replies before the line goes dead, Well I suppose she had things to do too? It was quite the sudden hang up from her, usually she would restart the conversation and keep me on the phone for longer but not this time.
I thought about calling her back but those thoughts were interrupted as soon as I heard someone knocking on the front door. Calum better not of forgotten his key again.
I was more than surprised to find Luke on the other side of the door."Hey Luke what's going on?" I question. "And why are you knocking?" It was so beyond rare for any of our friends to knock on the front door, everyone knew where the spare key was so they usually just let themselves in, especially Luke.
"Genieeeeee!" Luke sings almost tripping over his feet as he walks past me and inside. Was he really drunk at two in the afternoon?
"Have you been drinking?" I ask Luke shutting the front door and turning to look at him. He looked like a bit of a mess and I really didn't know I didn't notice it when I first opened the door.
"I may of had a drink." Luke chuckles plopping down on the couch. "Where's Calum? I wanna squish his squishy face." Luke asks looking around the living room in search of his best friend.
"He's out." I tell Luke trying my best not to smile at his comment, we all knew how squishy Calum's cheeks could be. "So Blondie is everything okay?" I inquire feeling a little worried about my old friend. I had never ever seen Luke this drunk in the afternoon, it was so very out of character for him.
"I did what you told me to do." Luke mutters. "I broke up with Katie." Oh.
"Luke I'm sorry." I tell him sitting down beside him. "Are you okay?" I ask and then feel like a complete dick right after because it was so clear that he wasn't okay.
"I'm drunk." Luke grins and I give him a sympathetic smile. "I just don't get it." Luke shrugs and I can't help but frown at him.
"Get what?"
"Why I feel like such an asshole....I mean I didn't want to be with her anymore so I should feel great right? But I just don't and I don't know why." Luke explains and I can hear the helplessness in his voice.
"You feel bad because you're a good person Luke." I tell him trying to sound somewhat reassuring? I actually had no idea what to tell him and he would probably forget everything once the alcohol had left his system. "You may not want to be with Katie but that doesn't mean that you didn't care about her so of course you're are going to feel bad about it."
"I don't know." Luke sighs looking in to the distance, drunk Luke was obviously in a deep thinking mode at the moment.....or maybe he had just blanked out. "You think I'm a good person?" Luke suddenly asks looking over to me. His blue eyes were incredibly bloodshot and also quite glassy, I didn't know if that was just because he was drunk or if it was leftover evidence of crying, either way it made my heart break just a little for the boy who was sitting in front of me.
"Of course I do." I tell him giving him a smile. Luke stares at me for a few seconds before shaking his head.
"You wouldn't if..." Luke mutters off shaking his head once again.
"If?" I push raising my eyebrows at him, I really very much doubt that there was much that Luke could tell me that would change my mind about him, he was honestly one of the best people I had ever met and I didn't see that changing anytime soon.
"If you could read my mind." Luke states simply which confuses me. What was he going on about? "What do you usually do for breakups?" Luke asks and I'm kind of surprised at his question.
"You mean other then getting drunk in the afternoon?" I tease and he rolls his eyes at me. "Well I usually eat a whole lot of junk food and watch some good old slasher movies and then I'll have a spa day with the girls or by myself and then I'll cry it out and then probably eat some more junk food." I tell him, Now I knew that everyone had their own ways of dealing with a breakup but this my way and It usually worked out pretty well.
"Food." Luke laughs then stands from his spot and wonders off to the kitchen. Well I had a feeling I would be in for a long night.
The last couple of hours consisted of Luke talking about a whole bunch of nonsense and him eating like a bottomless pit until he fell asleep on the couch. I couldn't help but be extremely worried about him, Luke always seemed so happy, he was also the positive one out of us all but now it was like he was a completely different person. I didn't really know what to think about it all but I did know that he seemed to of started changing once he found out about Claudia and the baby, I knew it was hard on him but I thought he had moved on, Now I was thinking that I was very wrong, hell we all were.
"What are we going to do with you?" I say quietly looking down at a sleeping Luke. He looked peaceful when he was sleeping which was kind of ironic because it seemed like Luke really needed to find some sort of peace in his life and I had no idea how he was going to do that, it really seemed like he was fighting a serious battle within himself and ending things with Katie had only seemed to make everything worse.
I decide to leave him to sleep and head in to the kitchen to find my laptop. I had an idea of who could help Luke or at least help us all help Luke. Once I had started up my laptop I waited a few minutes before signing in to my email. I didn't even bother checking my inbox instead I went straight in to composing a new email, I really didn't want to this but it had to be done.
It didn't take me long to write what I needed to and to send the email, I hoped that it would reach Claudia sooner rather then later but considering she went off the grid quite a lot who knew when she would get it.
A/N: I was going to do a double update tomorrow but I thought why not post one chapter today and the next one tomorrow?! Also I've notice quite a drop in comments which kinda sucks so I'm just wanting to know if there's anything you as the readers want? Like are you not enjoying this as much anymore and if so what can I do to change it? Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter, The next will be posted tomorrow at some point :)