I just want to warn you that this chapter is a little boring. BUT! It should answer all those lingering questions you have for the book, so that's the upside.
I want to thank everyone who has fanned/voted/commented on my story. It means so much to have your support.
I personally want to dedicate this chapter to @Skylar_Marie for all their lovely comments. It really brightened up my day to see that people are actually getting into the story.
Enjoy! And keep the comments and votes coming guys <3
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Chapter Twenty-Two: Quiet Before the War
My breath hitched in my throat. I opened my eyes, a sudden burst of energy hitting me as I sensed something was off. I sat up slowly, examining the room for anything out of the ordinary. But I came up with nothing. What was this feeling I was experiencing?
"You're awake," a voice whispered from the other side of the room.
"Sadly," I answered. I didn't recognize their tone, nor could I see them through the shadows of the room.
"What makes you say that, Roxanne?" The man questioned and I knew it was one of my brothers guards by the way he addressed me.
I sighed. "No reason." But there was a reason. I could feel something stirring inside of me. Gloria was put to rest, but that didn't change the fact I could still sense her. Something or someone was making her stir in her sleep. But what could possibly be getting to her? I've never felt this feeling inside of me before and I don't think anything good can come of it.
"I think I'll go for a walk," I told him as I went to get off the bed.
The man rushed to my side and forced me to stay put with his hands. "Alpha Stone as ordered you rest the night."
"I don't care what 'Alpha Stone' has commanded. Let go of me!"
"I'm sorry, Roxanne, I cannot."
"I need fresh air, I don't feel well. Please?" I asked nicely, hoping he would give into my sweet act. I really didn't feel good and I knew I couldn't stay inside any longer.
"I'll open the window," he answered before hurrying over to the windowsill.
"No, that won't be necessary. I just want to go for a walk. You can even come with me if that will help," I suggested, but I knew by the look on his face he wasn't having it.
The moonlight reflected from the window, revealing the mans face. He had long brown hair and a very short beard growing. He wasn't young, but he wasn't very older either. I had never seen him before, but that didn't surprise me much. Derrek never let me know any of the pack if they were male. I guess he's okay with it now though since I have Leo and all.
"Look, Roxanne, I am a good man. I know you've been having a hard time, but I can't go against your brothers orders. I wish I could help you, but I can't."
"More like you won't," I pouted.
"I'm sorry," he apologized once more, like it would make any difference.
The room went silent after that. I took a few deep breaths and tried to trick my mind out of this feeling of despair. Him rejecting me the right to go for a walk made everything intensify. I needed a distraction, so I decided to talk again.
"Roxie," I whispered, breaking the lingering silence in the room.
"Excuse me?"
"My name. Call me Roxie," I told him in a soft voice.
"Very well. You can call me Xander."
"Xander, huh? Reminds me of someone I used to know."
"And who would that be?"
I laid back down on my bed, accepting defeat. "Someone I'll never see again."
"Did you want to see them again?"
"You're very chatty for a guard," I commented with a small laugh.
I could see Xander give a light grin before replying, "I wasn't always a guard, you know."
"Oh yeah, then what were you?"
"You're very chatty for someone who should be sleeping," he laughed, mocking my words from before.
"You're alright," I chuckled. "But talking helps keep me distracted."
"Distracted from what?"
"I have no idea what to call it. I can just feel my wolf freaking out while asleep."
"Do you think she's waking up?" He asked, panicked no doubt.
"No," I reassured him quickly. "It's nothing like that... something's upsetting her. But since she's asleep, I have no clue what that 'something' is." I shrugged, but he probably didn't see since I was lying down.
"Well it sounds to me that you rely on your wolf to tell you what to do or think."
"Excuse me?" I asked harshly, sitting up with a shocked look frozen on my face.
"I didn't mean to upset you, Roxie. I just think that it would probably help you if-"
"If what? How could you possibly know what I'm going through?!"
"I don't think you give me enough credit. I've seen some of your work," he shrugged, like his comment meant nothing at all.
"You know nothing! Stop pretending like you know me just because you've heard some rumors. I'm tired of everyone talking about me like I'm not here!"
"I know enough alright. You wear your emotions on your sleeve, you expect people to help you so you don't have to help yourself. You pretend to be this helpless little girl when you could do so much more. Open your eyes, Roxie! Your wolf is only taking advantage of you and doing the things you don't have the guts to do yourself!"
I starred at him wide-eyed for the longest of time. I couldn't process his words, they sounded so true. Had I really been acting like that? Is that really how I come off to people? This man barely knows me, yet here he is saying everything about who I am.
"Leave," I ordered, no longer finding his presence helping.
"I don't take orders from you. I'm sorry if the truth hurts, but you needed a push before something bad happens."
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I NEED! Who are you to talk to me like you know everything about who I am? We just met!"
"No, we met before. I wouldn't expect you to remember though, because you've always been about yourself. I came in here trying to help-"
"No, you came in here firing accusations at me! I'm sorry if I don't remember you, but I'm no longer the girl I was before," I told him sternly. I refuse to be treated like crap again, I've been through too much to accept that kind of treatment.
"Oh yeah? And why is that?" He asked condescendingly.
I went quite after that. I didn't know how to put what I've been through in words. I spent this whole time trying to believe it was a lie. I know I've been acting horrible, but I don't want to believe it's forever. I feel like speaking it just makes it more true than it has to be.
"I've just seen a lot," I whispered, putting my head down in discomfort.
Xander obviously saw my moment of distress and decided to give me a break. "I'm sorry for the things I said. I have a short temper and I'm bad at shutting my mouth. Forgive me, but do not forget what I have told you. I suggest you think those things over... I'll be sitting in the hall," he said as he walked towards the door. He gave me one last disappointing look before leaving me alone to think things through.
The only problem with that was I can't think! Everything he said is either true or false. I have no idea how I act, because I'm too confused on who I am. I used to get so upset because everyone hated Gloria, but she's me. Where does the line end between what she is and what I am? Is there even a line? Secretly, Gloria is everything I've always wanted to do, but never had the guts or cold heart for.
"I'm a monster," I sighed, burying my head in my hands.
"Knock, knock," someone said as they opened the door to my room.
I looked over to see Mabel walking inside cautiously. I couldn't see much of her, but I know that head of blond hair anywhere. "What do you want?" I asked harshly, still upset from earlier.
"I just wanted to talk to my best friend," Mabel answered softly, taking a seat across from my bed.
"And look where that got us last time," I commented coldly.
"Roxie, I'm so sorry for everything. I know that I should have been honest with you from the beginning, but I'm here to make up for that now."
"How?"
"Look. Something bad is going to happen and I don't want you left in the dark when it comes."
"What's going to happen? What do you mean and how do you know?" I questioned, unsure if I should believe anything from her. We used to be best friends. But I'm not so sure that's the case anymore.
"I'm the nerd remember?" She joked, but I wasn't in a laughing mood. "Roxie, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come right out with it. Your brother fucked up," she smiled, trying to lighten the mood like always. But there was no lightening this.
"Mabel, I don't want to hear anything expect for information. I'm sorry to burst your happy bubble, but there are more serious things going on right now," I snapped at her.
"Gosh, you really have changed," she mumbled quietly, but I still heard it. "Well I guess I'll just give you the 'information' then. Shimmer Wolves can be either good or evil. How that is determined, depends on your mate. Your brother found out you were a Shimmer Wolf some time before your parents died. Your father planned to keep you pure to prevent any occurrences of darkness, and once they died, Derrek tried to follow through on that.
"As you know, Derrek has always been hard on you to act and be a certain way. He always just wanted you pure. I was actually one of the few Derrek selected to help read up on Shimmer Wolves. I came across an article one time about how if the wolf doesn't find their mate, you can train the wolf to be pure on its own. From that day forth, Derrek decided to train you secretly."
"But you always encouraged me to find my mate," I spoke up out of confusion.
"I did, but that was just to be motivational. I knew the kind of love I had for Lance was like no other before, so I secretly hoped that you'd get a chance at that. I shouldn't have hoped for that though. Your mate turned your wolf evil and I'm sorry for that."
"But Gloria didn't even act bad at the Black Moon Pack. As much as I wanted to kick Xavier in the ass for being such a man-whore, I never actually did anything. Gloria liked him at first, so why did all of this happen? It couldn't possibly be because I pushed him away the first time he tried to be with me... could it?" I wondered aloud.
"Wait. Did you say you pushed him away? Maybe when you guys mated, your head wasn't in the right place. I mean Gloria could have been upset with how her mat-"
"Xavier and I never completed the mating bond," I rushed out before she could say more.
"But that's impossible. I read that your wolf chooses good or evil after such an occurrence," Mabel informed me with a puzzled look.
"But I- Oh. My. Moon. Goddess. Mabel, I was raped," I looked at her with pleading eyes. Hoping that all of this wasn't from that one horrible night.
"WHAT?" Mabel shouted, just as shocked as I imagined she'd be.
"I-it happened at some party the pack was havin-"
"And you didn't tell us about this before? Why, Roxie, why?"
"I'm sorry, I was just so... Mabel, it was scary and I didn't want it to be real!" I cried out, the feeling of despair growing inside of me.
Mabel looked saddened. She rushed over to embrace me in a hug once some tears began falling out of my closed eyelids. "It's okay, Roxie. None of this is your fault. I had no idea something like this happened. I- we thought that it was Xavier that did this... Derrek even thought it was Leo."
"Leo is the only person who's kept me sane through all of this," I told her truthfully.
"I'm so sorry, Roxie," Mabel apologized again, squeezing me tighter to her.
"It's not your fault," I whispered to her. It was true, none of this was her fault. She may have not been completely honest with me from the start, but it wasn't her who did this.
"But I should have warned you. I should have gone and got you once I figured out the true nature of the Black Moon Pack. I might have been able to prevent this is I would have just gone and got you," she continued scolding her.
"What do you mean by their true nature?"
"What? Oh. Well after you left, I did some research. You didn't think I'd let you leave without knowing everything there is to know about my best friends whereabouts, did you?" She chuckled, but I remained serious.
"Mabel, what did you find out?" I pressed, needing to know all the answers I've been dying for.
"Well nothing you wouldn't have figured out on your own with your time spent there. History wise, I learned that Xavier's father was one of the worst Alpha's known to our kind. The man killed his own mate and led his pack out of anger and cruelty. The girl had a son before she died though, I guess he got what he wanted out of her before tossing the poor girl away like she was nothing.
"What I read wasn't clear on how Xavier's father died after that. It said something about a war, but nothing specific like that. All that really matters is that his fathers horrible genes probably got passed down to Xavier, along with his morals. Poor boy never had a chance," Mabel shook her head. It was almost as if she couldn't believe it as much as myself.
"But if Xavier is so terrible, then why am I his mate? I thought you're supposed to be the perfect fit for the other, not a challenge."
"I don't know, Roxie. All I know is that what happened to you was horrible. I promise you that they'll pay for scarring you like they did," Mabel swore as she enveloped me in another hug.
I rested my head on her shoulder, taking in all the new found information. I was about to open my mouth to ask Mabel why she's coming to me with this all now, but I never got the chance. A sudden crash was heard throughout the whole pack house. Mabel pulled away from the hug and rushed towards the window. The sun was just beginning to come up. But I couldn't see more, because Mabel hurried to close my window and curtains.
"Mabel, what's going on?" I asked in a panicked voice.
"Roxie, we have to get you somewhere safe. Stay in here, don't come out or open your door for anyone!" Mabel instructed as she scrambled to make sure everything was secure in my room.
"Mabel, what do you-"
My words got cut off by Xander bursting into the room screaming, "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! GET DOWN!"
Mabel ran out of the room once she saw Xander grab onto me. With the door open, I could hear growls and snarls of the wolves probably fighting below. Why were we under attack? My brother is loved by everyone.
"Come on, I'm taking you to the prison. You'll be safe behind silver bar," Xander stated as he pulled me out of the room.
"No!" I shouted, pulling my arm out of his grip. "I can fight. I just need Gloria to wake up and I'll be the best on that battle field."
"Alpha Stone has instructed that-"
"I don't care what he said! I'm going to fight!" I began running down the hall, but I only got so far until Xander grabbed me again. Without Gloria awake, I'm not filled with much energy.
Xander flung me over his shoulder and started in the other direction. I knew where he was going: to the prisons. They want to lock me up behind silver bars, so I'll be 'safe.' They're all stupid! They need me in battle and I won't sit back like the little girl I used to be. I have no idea who we're fighting, but I won't let this pack go down.
Screams and cries filled the air and I felt Gloria stir. She was waking up and just at the right time. This must be why she was stirring earlier. Gloria probably knew something like this was going to happen... but how?
"Let me go now, Xander, before I do something I'll regret to you," I warned harshly.
"Shut up, I have to do this quick," he snapped back.
"Fine, then for your sake, I'll do this quick." Before he had anytime to react to my words, I had him on his back and under my hold in half of a second.
Gloria was awake and I was filled with strength like no other before. This battle was fueling her, something was getting her fired up. I wasn't about to question it, because now is the perfect time for this to happen.
Xander groaned in pain when his back slammed against the hard floor, breaking it around him. "Sorry!" I apologized with a giggle. I wasn't sorry at all. But boy, was I alive.
I followed the sounds of snarls and grows all the way down to the first floor. I knew all the fighting would be going on outside, but I still had no clue as to why. I didn't have time for questions though, I needed to spring into action and get to the heart of the battle. I finally get to let Gloria free without mercy to anyone---not like she gave mercy before.
I ran across the floor and nearly knocked the large wooden door off its hinges as I burst outside. I expected this rush of adrenaline the second I saw the quarrel. But what I didn't expect was who would cause this spike.