After the ceremony, we did pictures. Countless pictures. I hated every minute, as did Jake, who began twirling me around the field.
"Why are we dancing?" I laughed as he twirled me out and into him.
"Because pictures are stupid!"
"Hey! You're ruining your first dance!" Lou snapped.
Jake brought our dancing to a halt. He pulled me into a kiss and smiled against my lips. "You're my wife."
"You're my husband."
"Okay! We're done!" the photographer shouted.
Jake led me towards the barn.
Everyone was inside by the time we got there.
The DJ announced us as 'Mr. & Mrs. James Hamilton,' so Jake didn't move. After a minute, the DJ spoke, "Correction. Sgt. Major and Dr. James Hamilton!"
Jake led me to the dance floor, where Michael Bublé's "Hold On" came on. Jake smiled as we began dancing. He held me close and gave me a kiss.
"Why were you crying earlier?" he whispered.
"When?"
"As you walked down the aisle."
"My grandfather was supposed to give me away. They forgot about the wedding."
Jake briefly stopped dancing. "What?"
"Can we just continue dancing? Please? I don't want a big scene. I want to finish our dance."
"A happy wife, a happy life," he smirked, beginning to dance again.
I smiled, "You'd do well to remember that, Sgt. Major."
He chuckled.
I smiled as he kissed me again.
When our dance was over, the DJ spoke, "Father/Daughter dance!"
Jake pulled back.
We looked at Erica, who looked horrified.
The Chief and Kelly came up. "We'd like to cut in."
We danced with them.
"Chief, thank you for everything you've done today. You didn't have to do anything."
"You're my best student. You might as well be my daughter."
"Thank you, sir."
We all danced for a bit. Then, it was time for dinner.
We all sat down.
Drew stood. "Good evening. When my brother asked me to be the best man today, I was honored. He's done so much for me, so much for our country. He and Britt are perfect for each other. They're amazing, like puzzle pieces. They work together better than any couple I've ever met. The love they share is strong and unmoving. It's as beautiful as they are. One day, I hope to find a love like theirs, because theirs is the kind that will last forever. I love you, guys. Best of luck."
We took a drink.
Lou stood.
Jake squeezed my hand.
"I've known Britt since we were little. We've been roommates forever. She'd been through a lot. When she found James, I was overwhelmed with joy. I couldn't believe it. From that day on, they've hit a few bumps. Their lives aren't perfect. They're not perfect, but they love each other. They are the very definition of love winning. I wish them the very best."
We applauded and took a drink.
Dinner was nice. It was elegant. I had a chicken dish and Jake had steak; both options were equally as tasteful. We'd definitely chosen wisely.
After dinner, Jake smiled, "Let's dance."
We danced for a couple songs.
The DJ spoke, "Let's slow it down..."
He began playing a song.
I knew it immediately. Carrie Underwood's "Just a Dream." I blinked back some tears. I tried not to let it bother me.
A song about a wedding and death. A military song. It hit close to home.
When the song hit the bridge, I could feel myself loosing it. My chest tightened. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even look at Jake. I needed to get out of there.
I pushed away from him and hurried from the reception. I went around to the side of the barn where no one could find me.
What was I going to do without him? What if he died overseas? What if all I got was a folded flag? I didn't want a flag; I wanted Jake. Forever. I needed him.
I couldn't breathe. Everything hurt. I put my hands to my head as tears fell from my eyes. I stepped out of my shoes and tried to focus on my breathing.
"Bridget?" Jake called.
I turned, still not having caught my breath.
He ran over. Worry took over his features. "Honey, what's wrong?"
I shook my head and puffed, "I can't-I can't-"
"Hang on. I'll get help, okay?"
I nodded.
He ran off and returned with Kelly, the Chief, Dr. Hart, and Dr. Walker. Great.
"She's having a panic attack," Kelly spoke.
Dr. Hart left and returned with a chair and an oxygen tank. He helped me sit and hooked me up to it. "Breathe, Britt. Breathe."
I tried, but it burned. I put my head in my hands.
When I looked up, Jake asked, "Why are you panicking?"
I shook my head.
In the quiet, you could hear another song begin to play. Tim McGraw's "If You're Reading This." I looked down as more tears consumed me. What the hell was wrong with this DJ?
Kelly knelt in front of me and took my hands. She squeezed them tight. "Britt, sweetie, it's okay. It'll be okay."
I shook my head.
"Bridget, you need to breathe, okay? You'll pass out."
It took me a minute to calm my breathing to subtle hiccups. I was shaking. I squeezed her hands.
Kelly looked up. "Dr. Walker, go tell the DJ to change the song."
He nodded and walked away.
A minute later, the song changed to Lady Antebellum's "One Day You Will."
I looked at Kelly and calmed down.
She smiled, "Good. You okay?"
I nodded.
She took my pulse and nodded. "Good."
"Why are you panicking?" Jake asked, sounded a bit angry.
"Because the damn DJ played songs about soldiers coming home dead. The first song was about a newlywed soldier dying," Kelly explained.
"So? Mom, Britt doesn't get effected by those things."
"She did today," Dr. Hart spoke.
Jake looked at me.
I removed the oxygen and thanked Dr. Hart.
He nodded.
"Guys, give us a minute," Jake spoke.
They left us alone.
Jake lifted me up and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Talk to me."
"It just hit too close too home. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out. It's just the thought of you not coming home alive is suffocating."
"I will come home alive."
"You don't know that. You could blow up or get shot. You could die over there, Jake, and it's scary. It's terrifying. I just need a minute to be scared. Don't I have the right?"
His eyes searched mine. Then, he pulled me in a tight embrace, kissing my cheek.
"Britt!" Lou called.
I pulled back from Jake and looked up.
"Britt, your grandparents are here. They're asking for you."
I looked at Jake.
He nodded.
We walked into the reception.
My grandparents were standing by the entrance, looking around.
"Granddad, Nan, so glad you could make it," I spoke, walking over to them.
"We knew it was this week. We just didn't remember the day. I mean, you changed it pretty quickly," he accused.
Taking offense, I defended, "I had no choice. You're aware of our situation."
"Your situation? That's what you're calling it?" he balked, laughingly.
"Yes. That's what it is. I don't understand why you or your assistants didn't write it down."
"Don't blame my assistants. If you should blame anyone, it's that damn husband of yours!" he snapped.
"What does Jake have to do with you missing the wedding?"
"He's the reason you changed it."
"So? I don't understand what that has to do with anything."
"We just don't feel like we should support something so...reckless."
"Reckless?"
"The marriage isn't going to last, Bridget."
"How could you possibly-"
"He's going to war! You honestly think he's going to come back alive? That he's going to be the same man you married? He won't be! And where will that leave you? You'll be a used up military wife that will have to fend for yourself in a world you have no knowledge of!" he shouted.
"You have no-"
"Wake up and smell the coffee! There's going to be a time where he's gone and you'll be alone. There will be no one to help you and-"
"Like you did today?"
"Excuse me?" he snarled.
"You had one job--a job you volunteered for. I can't count on anyone to help me. I can't even count on the two of you, who, by the way, have done a damn good job of making me feel like I'm family. I hadn't had one before, but having it dangled in my face like some kind of animal has really been an eye-"
He shoved me. Hard.
It knocked me off my feet and onto the floor.
Gasps were heard from around the room. Everyone was staring.
I looked up at my grandfather who had crazy eyes, then my grandmother who looked worried.
Jake ran over. He knelt beside me. "What happened?"
"Get Diane."
He helped me up and got her.
Kelly and Lou were cleaning my dress off.
"Doctor?" Diane spoke.
"Diane, walk with me."
I led her outside.
She kept up with my fast pace with ease.
"Find me the best lawyers to help me with the company."
"But Mr. Malone-"
"Mr. Malone doubts me. He doesn't believe in me and I don't want someone like that working for my company. Find me the best in the business. I expect a meeting before I leave for Bethesda."
"Yes, Doctor. Should I go now?"
"If you so wish."
"I should get to work," she nodded.
I nodded and smiled, "I'll bring you a piece of cake."
"Thank you, Doctor," she smiled.
We went back inside.
Granddad was speaking with Jake. They were laughing about something.
I cleared my throat.
They looked up.
"Jackson, you're good at what you do. You'd be the perfect politician... But that's not what I want for my company."
"Bridget-"
I held up a hand to him. "I may be young, but my father raised me right. He clearly had faith in me. Otherwise, he would've left the company to you, but he didn't. He left it to me. You may have helped build it, but it's now my company. That being said, I think we need a change."
"We can talk about this at the office."
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"I said no. I'm going into the office one time before I leave for Bethesda and when I get there, you won't be."
"What does that mean?" he asked, unsure what I was doing, unsure of my attitude.
"It means I'm finding a new lawyer."
"Excuse me?"
"You're fired from being my grandfather, from being my lawyer. Pack up your office and get out by Saturday afternoon."
"I-I--You can't-"
"I'm sorry. Did I stutter? You're fired. I don't want anything to do with you. Now, please, leave. This is family time. I'm sure you can try to understand."
I walked to my table and downed a glass of champagne.
Lou ran up to me with a vodka. He handed it to me. "That was amazing."
"You mean the fact I didn't piss my pants? Yeah, I'd say that's a win." I downed the vodka and took a deep breath.
"Want more?"
I nodded.
Lou pulled me to the bar and ordered me a couple shots of tequila.
I quickly downed them.
Hands touched my shoulders.
"That was awesome," the Chief spoke, moving beside me. "Well done."
"I need more alcohol."
"Open bar for a reason," Lou smirked, passing me a couple more shots.
I downed them and took a deep breath.
"That was impressive," Jake spoke, walking over.
"I was tired of his crap," I spoke.
Lou passed me a single malt scotch.
"Okay. Easy. Drunk brides are trashy brides," I reminded him.
"Drunk bride just stood up to a very powerful man. Drunk is good. Get more drunk," Lou urged.
"Lou, no. I'm okay, really, but like getting drunk, I'll be feeling it in the morning." I took a sip of my scotch and turned to Jake.
"Cake time!"
We went and did the classic cake scenario every couple did. It got messy, but it was fun. I made sure to save Diane a piece.
Then, we did the bouquet and garter tosses...which were interesting.
We kept it clean, but after Jake took the garter off, he leaned in and whispered, "Consider that the opposite of what we'll be doing later."
I smiled up at him.
He gave me a kiss and threw the garter. Someone in Jake's family caught it.
After a while, Jake walked up to me. "Britt, care to dance?"
"Sure."
We walked to the dance floor and began dancing to Michael Bublé's cover of "For Once in My Life," which was really nice.
I tested my head on Jake's shoulder as we danced. I held him close and rubbed his shoulder.
"So when I get back, would you like to go on vacation?"
"We could. I'm sure my new Chief wouldn't mind much," I murmured.
"Right. New job. Are you excited for that?"
"Nervous. Just because it's a new job and it's a bit different than my last job. I just-I don't know. Your mom will probably visit me often."
"Good. And you'll have Diane... Where is she?"
"Finding me a lawyer."
"Ah, yes. As your husband, I have to be honest," he whispered, "seeing you that angry, that powerful, was sexy. I mean, amazingly sexy. So hot."
I laughed, keeping my head on his shoulder. I turned my face into his neck and kissed it. "I love you."
"I love you," he smiled, kissing my head.
When the song ended, Lou came over. "Time for departure."
I lifted my head from Jake and sighed.
The crowd began going outside.
Jake smiled at me. He took my hand.
When everyone was outside, we waited a couple minutes. Then, we went outside.
Our friends and family held sparklers above as we ran through.
When we got to the car, Jake pulled me in a kiss. He helped me in.
It was an antique car. I adored the white leather interior.
Jake got in and smiled, "Ready?"
"Where did you even get this car?"
He smirked and drove off. "Like it?"
"It's beautiful. From the leather seats to the thin white steering wheel, it's amazing. How could I not like it?" I was getting excited. I couldn't believe we were in an antique car that cool!
He pulled me into his side and held me close as he drove.
I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, looking at the road ahead.
"You okay? You had a rough night."
"I had a great night," I defended.
"I'm glad. I did, too." He kissed my head. "When we get to the house, do you want a tour? Or do you just want to go to bed?"
"Mm...bed sounds nice." I gripped his knee.
"Yes, it does," he agreed.
When we got to the house, Jake parked right in front of the house. He got out, opened my door, and lifted me from the car. He carried me up the stairs and into the house. He didn't put me on my feet until we got to our room.
I stood and turned to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you."
"I love you," he smiled, giving me a kiss.
As the kiss deepened, Jake unzipped my dress. He tugged it down. He pulled back and looked me over. Smirking at my white, lacy undergarments, he stuck his hands in each and slid them slowly off my body.
I slipped his blazer off him. Then, I undid his shirt and pants.
As they fell to the floor, I worked on removing his boxer briefs.
He began kissing my body--all over. His sweet lips roamed, kissing everywhere they could.
When he looked up at me, he knocked me back on the bed.
He crawled over me and spoke, "Bridget, you looked so beautiful today, like an angel. I couldn't believe you were my wife. I had to pinch myself throughout the reception to make sure it was real."
I smiled and pulled him into a kiss. Oh, Jake. He always knew what to say...
As we got more entangled in one another, the more lost in him I became. My love for him flourished in a way it hadn't before. He was my husband. He was the love of my life. He was my everything...and that wasn't going to change.
***
The next few days were...fun. We spent our time closely entwined. We spent as much time as we could together, trying not to think about Saturday. But as much as we didn't think about it, it came anyway.
On Saturday, I woke at nearly 4am. I looked at Jake.
He was sleeping peacefully beside me.
I ran my hand through his hair.
He stirred and opened his eyes. "Good morning, wife."
"We have to get up."
He looked at the clock and groaned. He rested his head back on his pillow. "No." He gripped my waist.
"Jake, we have to get up. Your plane takes off in two hours."
"I don't want to go."
"I don't want you to go either."
He was quiet a moment.
"What?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I've just got a bad feeling."
"Oh, don't say that."
"Bridget-"
"No, Jake. Don't say it. Please. Because I have to let you go. I don't get a choice. You having a bad feeling doesn't help my nerves. I-I've never done this before and I'm terrified to let you go. Please, don't do anything stupid or if you have a bad feeling, stay positive or something. I need you back here alive, okay?"
He nodded and gave me an intoxicating kiss. He sat up and stood. He carried me to the restroom and into the shower. He briefly pulled back. "Let's multitask a little..."
So we did. Halfway through, a thought clicked into my head. That would be the last we would be intimate in months... That could possibly be the last time I ever have sex with my husband. Somehow, it made it more bittersweet.
When we finished, washed off, and got out of the shower, we went to our room and got dressed.
He put on his military uniform and I put on a black sheath dress. I did my makeup and slipped my shoes on as Jake checked his bag again.
"You ready?" I asked.
He nodded.
We went downstairs.
"Guys, we're leaving!" Jake shouted.
Vanessa, Diane, and Adam came from the kitchen.
"Are you sure you don't want me to take you?" Adam asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll meet you and Diane at the office after Jake takes off," I told him.
They nodded.
Vanessa looked at him. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?"
"I won't." He gave her a hug. "I'll be home before you know it."
She nodded, but she didn't look convinced.
Jake and I left.
I drove to where he said he had to go.
We were quiet on the drive, neither of us spoke. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye.
We got out of the truck.
He had his bag on his back.
I looked up at him. I was about to speak when I heard his name being called.
We looked up.
His whole family was waiting.
We went over to them.
They all embraced him and told him how much they were going to miss him.
I looked at Kelly.
She came over and gave me a hug. "You okay?"
I nodded. I wanted to tell her he had a bad feeling, but I didn't. I kept quiet.
"Guys, I have to go," Jake spoke.
I looked at him.
"Shouldn't you say goodbye to Britt?"
He looked at me and took a breath. He walked to me and lifted me in his arms. He held me tight. He kissed my cheek and whispered, "This isn't goodbye, okay? I'm not saying goodbye to you. I can't."
"I love you so much, Jake. Take care of yourself, okay?"
"I will and I'll call every chance I get. I want to know how the new job is, so call me Monday, okay? If I don't answer, leave a voicemail."
"Okay," I whispered.
"I love you, Bridget. I love you so much."
I held him tighter.
He pulled back and gave me a sweet kiss. "Okay. I have to go."
"You have to go."
He ran a hand through my hair and kissed me again. He pulled back, took a shaking breath, and opened his eyes.
I could see the tears in his eyes. I ignored them. I had to ignore them. "This isn't goodbye, Jake. Go and-and you'll be home before you know it."
He nodded and looked around at his family one more time. He nodded and half smiled at me. "I'll see you soon."
I nodded, suddenly unsure of my voice.
Jake walked off. He didn't look back. He didn't wave. He just walked towards his plane.
I took a breath. Four words echoed through my head...
I'll see you soon.