The next morning, Jake was still asleep when I woke. It was too early for him to be at work, so I got up and changed into fresh blue scrubs. I did my makeup and tied my hair in a bun. Then, I made my way downstairs and found Diane by the door, holding a cup of coffee.
I took it and stepped outside.
We left.
When I got to work, I clocked in and found Dr. Welch and Dr. Walker. They were doing the surgery together.
We all scrubbed in and went into the operating room.
For hours, we worked through the patient, carefully going around nerves and vessels. When his spine was exposed, you couldn't even see it.
I saw something big and black. It went from C3-C6. Massive. It was an absolute monster.
"How is this guy not paralyzed?" I asked.
"I have no idea," Dr. Welch spoke.
I nodded and looked down at the massive tumor. I couldn't believe the man wasn't paralyzed, that he only had relatively minor symptoms.
Carefully, Dr. Welch removed the tumor. Dr. Walker kept an eye on the spine and the discs. I held a retractor, observing every movement they did.
When the surgery was over, I took the patient to recovery. I watched his stats and took him to his room, where I continued to watch him.
He stirred. "Are you a doctor?"
"I am. How are you feeling, sir?"
"I feel like a weight's been lifted. Literally."
I smiled.
Dr. Welch and Dr. Walker came in and told him how the surgery went.
When they left, the patient looked at me. He smiled, "I feel like a new man."
"That's great," I smiled. "I'm Dr. Malone. I'm going to be monitoring you today, okay? If you need anything, just have a nurse page me and I'll be here."
He smiled, "Okay. Thank you."
I nodded and left the room.
I went to check on Mr. Hamilton.
He was barely sitting up. He looked so tired, so frail.
"Hey, handsome," I smiled, walking in his room.
He gave me a weak smile. "How are you?"
"I'm good. How are you feeling?"
"Tired, really damn tired." He rubbed his eye and sighed.
I checked his vitals and wrote them down.
"Britt, can you do me a favor?" he asked.
"Yeah. What's up?"
"Can you make today a no visitors day? Please." he pleaded.
I nodded and spoke, "I can. I'll let the nurses know."
He nodded. "Thank you for yesterday. It was a nice day, nice to see Melanie so happy. He's going to take care of her. When-When I'm gone, she'll be okay."
I nodded.
"I wish I could see you and James get married. He's going to be so happy and he'll do everything he can to make you happy for the rest of your life. That's-That's good. It means I raised him right. I didn't fail."
"You didn't fail."
"I only failed me."
I looked up at him. "Peter-"
"I did. I thought I could fight this. I thought I could live through it, for my family, for Kelly. I had such high hopes. My wife is a general surgeon and I didn't tell her. I was in pain for six months and I didn't tell her. I didn't want something to be wrong, so I put it off. I was in the wrong and I'm loosing it all. I'm loosing everything I ever cared about, hurting my loved ones, because I was an idiot. I didn't want Kelly to see me as another sick patient. I wanted to stay her husband. I wanted that so much for her and now I'm dying. I won't get to see either of my sons get married. I won't get to see my grand kids. I failed me."
I didn't know what to say.
"Promise me something."
I nodded.
"If you have something to say to someone, don't wait. Don't hold it off. If you've got a voice in your head that is telling you to do something, do it. Don't second guess yourself. There's no time for second guessing. You just have to know, because you could make mistakes with either side of the coin, okay? You just have to decide which decision had the lesser mistakes."
I nodded.
"Okay. Now, go check on your other patients. I'll be here, waiting."
I left the room and went to the nurses' station. I handed them Peter's chart. "Mr. Hamilton cannot have any visitors today. If anyone comes, have me paged, okay?"
She nodded.
I nodded and went to an on call room.
I wiped the tears from my eyes. I wasn't expecting Peter to say anything like that. I wasn't anticipating feeling this awful when I became a doctor. They didn't teach you about this in med school, didn't prepare you for the real world of medicine. Yeah, it was a science, but it was a whole different kind of science. Social science. It was having a heart that did more than just circulate blood. It was about emotion. That was something that needed to be taught.
When I calmed down, I went out and found Dr. Cole.
She smiled, "How are you this afternoon?"
"I'm fine."
She rose a brow. "You don't look fine. What's going on?"
"It's nothing. I'm fine. I checked on Peter Hamilton. He looks good and-"
"Yeah, what's with the no visitors thing?"
"He requested no visitors, said he was tired."
"That's unlike him to ask for such a thing, though. Did he seem okay? Depressed?" she asked, looking over some notes.
"Yeah, he's giving advice and kicking himself for not coming in sooner."
She froze, looking up at me.
"This trial is killing me. I don't know how much more I can take. How do you do it? How do you deal with the cancer and the sick, dying patients? How do you do it?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I wish I did. Dr. Malone, if you were a typical resident, I'd tell you that you can leave the trial and I can find another resident, but this is your treatment. This is your clinical trial. You can't back away now."
"But it's killing people."
"People who knew it was going to be a shot in the dark. This trial was their last hope. Look at Carly. She's a 27-year-old, who's going under extensive treatment, but she's okay. She's got time; we're giving her time."
I nodded.
"You should go get a cup of coffee, maybe a bite to eat. Take a break, okay?"
I nodded.
I went to the coffee cart and got a coffee and a muffin. I couldn't eat it. I could barely drink my coffee. I was too upset, too depressed.
"Bridget?" Kelly called.
I looked up.
She walked over and sat with me. "Hey, do you know why Peter can't have visitors today?"
"No, I think he's just tired. He didn't want people watching him sleep all day. He's fine," I spoke, taking a drink of coffee.
"Yeah, maybe. Are you okay?"
Jake walked over. "Why can't I visit Dad?"
Kelly rose a brow.
"He's just tired. Yesterday was a lot for him. He's fine," I spoke, taking a drink of coffee.
"Are you okay? You look upset," Jake spoke.
"I'm fine. I've just done a lot today."
"Yeah. You weren't there when I woke this morning. Why didn't you wake me?" Jake asked.
"I had a surgery."
"It would've taken two seconds," he argued.
I sighed. I was not in the mood to fight with him. Not today.
Dr. Welch came over. "Dr. Malone, our patient is looking good. He's very relieved."
"Good, good," I spoke, zoned out.
"Dr. Malone, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I absentmindedly spoke. I stood. "Um, I have to go check on a couple patients. Excuse me." I threw my muffin away and went upstairs. I checked on all of my patients.
I was paged to the emergency room.
A trauma was coming in. A train crash.
I went into trauma one with a woman who didn't look too bad. That's why I was in charge of her. I examined her for head and internal injuries. She didn't appear to have any.
Towards the end of my exam, she spoke, "How's my baby?"
The team and I froze.
"You're pregnant?" I asked.
She nodded.
I looked at the nurse assisting me. "Go page OB. We need Dr. Adams in here stat." I got an ultrasound out and checked her out.
What I saw was a lot of blood. I mean, a lot of blood. The ultrasound was cloudy. I couldn't find a heartbeat.
My heart sank.
"How far along are you?" I asked, trying to keep calm. Maybe she was too early to have a heartbeat.
"Twenty weeks."
I nodded. Crap.
Dr. Adams came in. "Dr. Malone, what do we got?"
I pointed to the scan.
She nodded. "How far along is she?"
"Twenty weeks."
"Crap. She's bleeding internally."
"What does that mean?"
Dr. Adams looked at me. "Dr. Malone, you should leave the room."
"I'm fine," I assured her.
Dr. Adams looked at our patient. "We have to take you to an emergent hysterectomy. I'm so sorry, but the rupture is so severe, I'm afraid the fetus has been compromised."
"What?" the woman asked, tears rushing to her eyes.
"We're so sorry, but if we don't do something soon, your internal damages will also compromise your life. Is there anyone we can call?"
"My husband. He's in the waiting room."
I went to get him. I brought him back in the room, where we told them what happened and what we had to do.
He nodded. "Okay. Save her life."
"Sweetie-"
"The baby is gone, Paula, and I can't lose you, too. I won't. We can adopt. We have options, but we won't if you die. You can't die," her husband spoke as tears streamed down his face.
They were so young, so in love. Now, they were losing everything. They had no idea how difficult this was going to be on them. They had no idea that they were going to be blindsided by a metaphorical train accident.
We rushed her to surgery, where we scrubbed in.
By the time we got in the operating room, they'd put her under anesthesia.
Dr. Adams and I worked for nearly an hour, suctioning blood and removing her uterus. We didn't speak much, focusing on the task at hand.
When we finished, I sutured her up and went to scrub out.
Dr. Adams was waiting in the scrub room. "You okay?"
I nodded and washed my hands. I took a deep breath. I really couldn't take much more. I needed to go home, needed to breathe.
"Bridget."
I froze, caught off by her calling me my first name.
"It's okay not to be okay."
"It's just been a long, rough day. I'm fine. I promise."
"I'll take care of Paula post op. Go check on your trial patients."
I nodded and went upstairs. I went to Peter's room.
Jake was sitting in the room. He was looking at his dad with folded arms. He looked angry.
"Hey, he can't have visitors," I spoke, putting Peter's chart down.
"Can't or won't?" Jake snarled at his father.
"Can't."
Jake didn't look at me.
Peter sighed.
"Don't you feel guilty? You're pushing everyone away. We care about you and you won't let us. What the hell happened to you that you got so antisocial? So miserable?" Jake snapped.
"Jake."
"I mean, what the hell? Are you really so messed up that you can't stand being around your family, the people who have taken care of you for the past four months?" Jake snarled.
"Jake."
"I'm your son! Your son. And you can't even look at me!" Jake yelled.
"Get out!" I shouted.
Jake froze and looked at me.
"Get out," I repeated.
"Excuse me?"
"Get the hell out of this room."
"I'm his son."
"And I'm his doctor. He's sick and he can't take much more, so get out. Now."
"Bridget."
"You're out of line."
"I'm out of line?! Are you serious?!" he shouted.
"I've had a rough day. Your father has had a rough day. We don't need you causing problems."
"I think you need to stay out of this."
Peter looked at me with sad eyes.
There was a knock on the door. "Security. Dr. Cole called us."
I looked at them. "Not necessary."
"Then, can you explain all the shouting?" one of the men asked.
I turned to Jake. "Go home."
He stood, but didn't move. He didn't say anything.
"Please," I pleaded.
He stormed out, pushing the security guards aside.
Peter sighed, "I put you in a bad place. I'm sorry."
"No. I'm your doctor. I'm supposed to be your advocate. It's my job to take care of you. He had no right to yell at you," I spoke.
He nodded. "You have to go home to him."
"Well, I think I'm going to go see if I can help out in the emergency room for a bit, so hopefully I won't have to go home for a while."
He nodded.
I went down to the emergency room and found Dr. Michaels. "Please, tell me you have work for me to do."
"Want some charts to do until we get a trauma?"
I nodded.
I sat behind the nurses' station and got to work.
I worked for hours. It preoccupied my mind, giving me other things to think about that didn't involve Jake or his dad or the poor family who lost a baby that morning. I didn't want to think about anything except for the medical papers I had in front of me.
When a trauma came in, I jumped up.
They came to me. "Two DOAs."
"Time of death 3:02pm."
They nodded and wrote it down.
More people came in.
We got to work.
I went with Dr. Welch, who was taking a patient to surgery.
We were in surgery for seven hours.
After the surgery, we took him to recovery and watched him closely.
Dr. Welch turned to me. "I'm on call tonight. Go home. You've had a busy day."
I sighed and nodded. I went to the locker room and clocked out. I collected my things and called Adam.
When he arrived, I climbed in and sighed.
"Everything okay, Doctor?"
"Fine," I sighed. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."
He nodded.
When we arrived at the house, we got out and went inside.
I went to the kitchen and got a beer from the fridge. I opened it and took a drink. I sighed and got a bag of pretzels from the cabinet before sitting at the kitchen island.
Jake walked in. He got a beer and turned to me. "It's late."
I ate a pretzel and chased it down with a swig of beer.
"Were you in surgery?"
"Yeah," I nodded.
He walked over, taking a drink of his beer. He leaned on the counter. "Are we going to talk?"
I shrugged.
"I don't understand why my father didn't want company. I'm angry that he wouldn't even let my mother see him. After all we've done for him, how could he just push us away?"
"He's tired."
"We're all tired! You don't think we're all tired of going and sitting with him in silence? You think helping him fight this isn't killing us?"
"Oh, would you get off your high horse already? He's dying, Jake. He knows it. He feels it. He wanted to be left alone, because he knows he's bringing you down. He feels like a burden. He's never going to see you or Drew get married. He'll never get to see his grandchildren. He's losing his life. He's battling a losing game and he's tired. He wanted the day alone and you couldn't even give him that."
He didn't say anything.
I took a long drink of my beer and sighed. I put the pretzels away as my phone rang. I turned and answered my phone. "Hello?"
"Hey, it's Melanie," she spoke, sounding panicked.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"There's a little bit of blood. I can't be having a period. Will and I are freaking out."
"Take a deep breath. Calm down. A little spotting is usual, okay? How long are you out of town?" I asked, taking a drink of beer.
"The rest of the week and next week."
"Okay. When you get back, call me and I can rush you in just to be safe. To put your mind at ease, maybe buy a test and see what it says."
"Okay."
"So you told him? How'd he take the news?"
"Amazingly well. We're both very excited. We're going to tell the family when we get back," she informed me.
"Sounds like a plan. I'm really happy for you," I spoke as tears came to my eyes. It had been such a long day and I was so exhausted. "You should enjoy the rest of your trip. Don't worry until you have to, okay? It's bad for the both of you."
"Okay."
"Call me if you need anything, okay?"
"I will. Thank you, Britt."
"No problem. I'll talk to you soon."
"Bye."
I hung up and sighed.
As the tears consumed me, I gripped the edge of the counter. I sunk down to the floor and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be strong. I couldn't breathe.
Arms wrapped around my shoulders.
I tried to push him back, but he tightened them around me.
I shook my head. I couldn't take it.
When the tears stopped, I kept gasping for air. I felt like the gasps and the sobs would never stop coming from my mouth. I couldn't breathe.
"Is she okay?" Diane asked.
"I don't know," Jake sighed.
I opened my eyes and closed my mouth. I needed to calm down. My body was shaking. I moved Jake away and wiped the tears from my eyes. I cleared my throat. I looked up at Diane. I hoarsely asked, "Did you need something?"
"No. I was checking to see if you needed anything."
"No, I'm fine. Thank you."
She nodded and walked off.
I stood and took a deep breath.
"Bridget-"
"Don't," I spoke with fresh tears in my eyes. Damn it. "I'm going to bed."
I put the pretzels away and discarded my beer bottle before making my way upstairs. I changed into a black tank top and leggings before crawling into bed. I put my head on my pillow and took a deep breath.
The door closed.
A few seconds later, Jake got in the bed. He didn't wrap his arm around me. He just sighed.
I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Britt, please," he whispered.
"I can't," I whispered.
"Can't what?" he asked.
Honestly, I didn't know what. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't kiss him goodnight. I couldn't do anything. But is that how our marriage was going to be? Us fighting all the time? Us never talking about what our days? I didn't want to live like that. I didn't want our marriage to be like that.
I took a breath and turned to him.
His face sunk. His eyes looked upset.
I told him about my day. I told him everything. I ended blinking back tears. "I had a really rough day."
He pulled me in his arms.
"Jake-"
"Let me hold you. You had a bad day. I know you need me, because I need you. I know you're mad about what I did earlier and I'm sorry I said what I did, but I'm here for you. I'm going to be your husband. That means something."
I sighed and buried my head in his neck. I kissed his neck.
He rubbed my back. "I worked this morning, then I went to City Hall and made an appointment for us to get our marriage licence."
"So soon?"
"I planned it to be a week or so before the wedding. I explained the situation and the lady was more than happy to do it so far in advance."
I nodded and looked up at him. "I love you."
"I love you," he whispered.
I gave him a sweet kiss and pulled back. I rested my head on my pillow and sighed. I fell asleep moments later.
***
I woke to Jake getting ready. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair.
He turned and smiled when he saw I was awake. He walked over and gave me a kiss. "Hey. Feeling better this morning?"
I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck.
He was shirtless, but his hair was dry so he clearly hadn't showered, yet. He gave me another kiss and pulled back.
"Are you going to shower?" I asked.
"Yeah. You want to join me?" he smirked.
I nodded.
He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me around his waist. He gripped my thighs and carried me into the restroom, where the shower was already running. He quickly stripped us down before he pulled me into the shower.
We quickly washed each other off.
When I turned to get out of the shower, he wrapped his arms around me. "Where do you think you're going?"
"To get dressed?"
"Uh-uh, not yet."
I rose a brow.
Before I could ask what he was talking about, he pulled me into a kiss. His mouth consumed mine, tracing mine, loving mine.
The kiss was full of need. It was longing and sweet.
He knelt down and lifted me into his arms.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding onto him so I wouldn't fall. I gasped into his mouth, surprised by the sudden movement.
When he took me, I cried out in surprise. I hadn't seen that coming...pun not intended.
I was expecting him to move quickly, to get the job done...but he didn't. He was slow and loving. He kissed down my neck and shoulder. He made a trail back up to my lips and kissed me sweetly. His thrusts were slow and consuming in a way I never imagined possible.
I tightened my grip on him as we fell apart, burying my head in his neck.
There was a knock on the door.
"Britt, oh my God! You're not going to believe what he did!" Lou's voice gasped.
I sighed and called, "Lou-"
"Dr. Malone, I am so sorry. I turned my back for a minute and-" Diane spoke.
"Guys, can you just leave? Seriously. I need a minute and I'll be out," I spoke.
"Bridget, this is an emergency!" Lou gasped.
I got off Jake and gave him a kiss. I reached out of the shower and grabbed a towel, slipping it around me as I stepped out of the shower. I closed the fogged door behind me and walked into the bedroom.
Diane and Lou followed me.
"Dr. Malone, should I turn the water off?" Diane asked.
"No, it's fine. Just give us a minute."
She nodded and left the room.
I sat on the bed and sighed, "Lou, can you talk while I get ready?"
He nodded.
I stood and dug through my things. I found a pair of panties and put them on, then a matching bra. I found a gray pencil skirt and blazer and a raspberry colored button down. I began to put the blouse on.
"George wants to adopt a baby."
"What?" I gasped, caught off guard. I turned to Lou.
He nodded. "I'm not good with kids. Kids hate me. I'll be a terrible dad. And we just got married! We've been married for two weeks and he wants a baby? Britt, what do I do?"
"Lou, I-"
Drew walked in. "Bro, I--Oh my God!" He turned towards the door. "Sorry. I, uh, I'm looking for James."
"Bathroom."
Lou looked at me. "He was in the shower with you?!"
The water turned off.
"Does that mean I can come out now?" Jake asked.
"Yeah," I sighed, slipping my skirt on.
Jake came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked at his brother. "Why are you facing the wall?"
"Britt didn't have clothes on."
"Oh. Good you turned. More for me," he smirked. "She's dressed now."
Drew nodded and turned back around.
"Why are you here?" Jake asked.
"We're supposed to have breakfast, remember? We have that big family brunch this morning," Drew spoke as if Jake was missing something.
Jake froze. "Shit. I totally forgot. What time is that?"
"An hour."
Jake looked at me. "Are you working today?"
"I'm on call, but I was going into the lumber office."
"Lumber?" Drew asked.
Jake sighed.
"Oh! And Aunt Becky has a surprise for you guys. She said Britt has to come," Drew added.
"I can't. I have work to do. I-"
My pager buzzed.
It was Kristi. 911.
Why was she paging me? What was so important? Then, it hit me. Peter.
"Crap." I spoke, then rushed to find a pair of scrubs. I quickly changed into them and slipped me tennis shoes on. "Lou, we need to finish later. I'm sorry."
He blinked. "What's-"
Drew and Jake looked stunned.
I ran from the room and took the stairs to at a time. "Adam!"
He ran over.
"Hospital. Stat," I panted.
We ran to the car and jumped in. We zoomed off.
When we arrived at the hospital, my mind was racing. What had happened? What could possibly have happened? Heart attack? Cardiac arrest? What?
I hopped out of the car and ran in. I ran up to Peter's room.
Nurses were all around.
I ran in and pushed them aside and began CPR. "How long has he been down?"
"Two minutes," a nurse spoke.
I nodded. "Charge to 300."
They did as I said.
I shocked him.
Nothing.
Again, I tried. I dropped the paddles and began CPR again. I tried shocking him two more times, but there wasn't any sign of response.
"Page Dr. Cole or Dr. Hart. Page someone!" I shouted.
Dr. Cole ran in and took over CPR. She tried shocking him. Nothing. "How long has it been?"
"A few minutes," I panted.
"We'll try one more time," she spoke.
I nodded.
She tried again. Nothing.
I met her gaze.
She looked at her watch. "Time of death 7:02."
I sunk to my knees.
No. No. NO. This couldn't have happened. He died. He actually died. This wasn't right.
Then, I froze. I looked up at Dr. Cole.
She sighed, "I think you should tell the family."
I nodded and stood. i wiped the gushing tears from my eyes and cleared my throat. I got my phone out and dialed Kelly.
She answered in a chipper voice. "Bridget, hi. Are you and Jake ready?"
"Kelly, you need to come to the hospital."
"I'm not on call. Why is James here without you? Hi, sweetie!"
"Mom, who are you on the phone with?" Jake asked.
"It's Bridget. She was supposed to come with you. Why is she at the hospital?"
"Her pager went off and she ran. Is everything okay?"
"Is everything okay?" Kelly asked.
I ignored her question. "Can you give Jake the phone?"
"Yeah, hang on."
A minute later, he spoke, "Hey. What's going on?"
"You need to get your family and come to the hospital."
"Why?" he asked.
"I can't say over the phone, but you need to come."
Dr. Cole covered Peter with a sheet, looking at me with sad eyes.
"Britt, you're worrying me," Jake spoke.
"I'll see you soon," I spoke and hung up. I took a deep breath.
Then, all of the attending surgeons came in, including Chief of Surgery.
Dr. Welch lifted me up. "We thought we'd come support Dr. Hamilton."
I nodded.
The Chief sighed, "What happened?"
"He arrested. After nearly a dozen tries, we couldn't bring him back," Dr. Cole explained.
He nodded. "We should meet the family in the main lobby, so they can take care of him."
We nodded and followed him downstairs. We all sat around the waiting room. We were all used to telling patient's families that their loved ones were dead, but it was excruciatingly difficult when it was one of us.
When the family came in, the Chief was the first to stand.
Everyone stood except for me.
I couldn't do it.
Dr. Cole put a hand to my shoulder. She nodded.
I stood.
"What's going on? Don't you all have surgeries?" Kelly asked, standing between Jake and Drew.
The Chief took a step forward. "Kelly, I think you should have a seat."
She did as he said.
They all took a seat, looking at all of us carefully.
"We regret to inform you that your husband, Peter Hamilton, was pronounced dead at 7:02 this morning," the Chief spoke.
No one moved. No one said anything.
Kelly blinked. "I don't-I don't understand."
"He arrested. After we tried to revive him for nearly twenty minutes, I had to call time of death," Dr. Cole spoke up.
"Can I, um, see his chart?" Kelly asked.
Dr. Cole handed it over to her.
Kelly looked at it for a moment. She shook her head as she looked through it. "He-He died? Why did he arrest?"
"We're not sure, but it's likely his heart just couldn't take the fight any longer," Dr. Hart spoke up.
She nodded. "Can we do an autopsy?"
"Yes, of course," the Chief spoke.
Kelly nodded, but she didn't say anything else.
No one said anything.
With tears in my eyes, I spoke up, "Kelly, would you like to see him?"
She looked up and nodded. She stood.
Jake and Drew stood, too.
I looked at the Chief. "Would it be all right if I took them down?"
"Yes, yes, of course. I'll be in my office if you need me."
"And I'll fill out the paperwork," Dr. Cole softly spoke.
I nodded and looked at Kelly. "Follow me."
I led them to the elevator and pressed the button.
When the elevator arrived, the four of us stepped in.
I hit the button for the hospital morgue.
Silence descended upon us. None of us spoke, too upset to know what to say.
When the elevator stopped, I led them out and went to the medical examiner. "Hi. Peter Hamilton."
He nodded and led us into a white room.
A body was on the table. A sheet covered it.
We walked over.
The examiner looked at me.
I looked at Kelly. "Are you ready?"
She nodded.
I nodded to the examiner.
He unveiled Peter's head, showing him to his shoulders.
Kelly stepped up as a sob escaped her lips. She put a hand to her chest and the other to his. She shook her head as tears fell endlessly down her cheeks.
We stood there, watching her sob for her husband, for at least an hour. With every sob that escaped her lips, a piece of my heart broke. It didn't seem real. She loved him more than anything and he was dead. He died. He really died.
For the first time since they arrived, I looked up at Jake.
He looked at his mom, wiping tears from his eyes. He held Drew's hand.
Drew was also wiping away tears.
I looked at the medical examiner.
He didn't say anything. He had no emotion. Right. He was a medical examiner. He was used to death, used to seeing families fall apart. Lucky him.
Kelly spoke, "Okay. Jake, Drew, would you like to say goodbye to your father?"
She stepped back.
They stepped forward and looked at their father.
Jake just shook his head. "The last time I saw him, I yelled at him. I upset him and he died thinking I was angry at him."
"I'm sure he knew better," I spoke. "He knew you loved him."
Jake looked up at me. He didn't say anything. After a minute, he walked over to me and lifted me in his arms.
I wrapped mine around him. I didn't say anything. I just held him. After a minute, I pulled back. I took his face in my hands, having him look at me.
His eyes were bright blue, brighter than they've ever been before. They were coated in tears. He put a hand over mine.
"Do you need me to take the rest of the day off?" I asked barely above a whisper.
He nodded.
"Okay. Then, I'll go tell the Chief and I'll tell Diane to handle things at the office. I'll meet you in the lobby, okay?"
He nodded.
I pulled away from him and went to the Chief's office. I knocked.
"Come in."
I walked in. "Chief?"
He looked up. "Dr. Malone, how is Dr. Hamilton?"
"Grieving. I know I'm on call and I know I've missed a lot of work lately with the family business, but Jake is a mess. He just lost his father and he's in bad shape."
The Chief nodded. "Take the day off. Come in at noon tomorrow, okay? I have a surgery at one and I think you should scrub in."
"Yes, sir. Thank you."
He nodded.
I left the room.
Diane was waiting in the cafeteria. She stood.
"Call the office. Tell them I'm not coming in today."
"But you have a meeting."
"I'm not coming in today," I repeated. "Now, call Adam and tell him to get down here."
She nodded.
We went to the lobby, where Jake and his family were waiting.
They were all crying.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the pool of tears. I walked to Jake and put a hand on his shoulder.
He turned to me and sighed.
"Do you need a minute?" I asked.
He shook his head.
I led him outside.
Adam pulled up.
We got in and left.
I sighed.
This was going to be a long, painful process. Coming from a girl who just lost her father, I knew the struggle he was facing. I wasn't close to mine, though, so I had no idea how that would affect him. This was no going to be good.