I suck at updates, I think we all realized by now that I am bad with sticking to the schedule. By hey, you can't blame a girl for trying to. Anyways, sorry for being late ;P with no further adieu, here's a short chapter that's not edited and is all over the place.
P.s: if you're still reading this you should get awarded for your patience.
*Unedited*
Today was no different, everyone was busy and I had the whole place to myself. Fern was busy with her new special friend, Noah was also busy with his new special friend, while Nathan and Sam were out on a romantic day. I... well I was alone, under my covers enjoying the comfort it gave me. My little safe place.
I felt my phone vibrate on the night stand, it wasn't my normal ringtone. I had a different ringtone for each person I know, except for the person that was calling. For example, whenever Noah calls, Coma by Issues plays. Whenever Sam calls, My Distorted Reflection by Upon a burning body plays. When Nathan calls, I mean when he used to call, his ringtone used to be Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly; I changed it into Mad at Myself by Issues after we broke up. It makes sense after all to change it into that song.
I reached over to my phone and picked up the unfamiliar number "Hello?" I answered.
"Alex?" a familiar male voice responded "It's me, James, Remember me?"
"Of course I remember you, James" I rolled my eyes "We dated, for almost a year before you broke up with me for my best friend who wasn't interested in you at all"
"About that" he started "Let me make it up to you, I did some terrible things back then and I hurt you. Let me show you that I'm a better person than I used to be"
"Fine" I told him "Where are we meeting?"
He paused for a little before he spoke up again "How about dinner, dinner in a fancy ass place?"
"Uhhh, okay I guess" I said a bit unsure about the whole thing "Just text me the time and address"
"Kay, see you there" he said then hung up.
*A couple of hours later*
After I took a quick shower, I blow dried and curled my hair since we were going to a fancy ass restaurant after all. I quickly did my simple makeup, it wasn't full makeup though. Usually I'd wear only cat eyeliner, mascara and lip tent on daily bases; when I go out somewhere fancy however, I'd wear my normal make up plus eye shadow and highlighter. I wasn't into the whole foundation, consular and contouring thing, not that I have perfect skin, it's just because I feel uglier after I take it off.
I got dressed into my knee length off white dress; it had a high neck, fit on the top then loose under the waist. It wasn't too sexy but not adult like, it was just cute and fancy looking. I didn't go for high heels this time, I went for flats since I knew that it was going to be a long night and I'd probably lose the heel and walk barefoot at some point.
I took an Uber to the restaurant; the ride was shorter than I hoped it'd be. It was a fancy place by all means; it looked vintage on the outside, rusty golden with big windows. The theme on the inside was mostly red and golden, it had big chandeliers but dim lighting. Even though it crowded, spotting James was easy, his long gold locks could be seen from a mile away because of their shininess. He was dressed in white dress shirt tucked in beige pants and a red tie, he looked good in them, especially with his hair styled to the back like that.
A smile crossed his face when his eyes fell on me, he st78ood up almost immediately. He welcomed me with a smile and a hug, I hugged him, I hugged him to avoid causing an awkward situation and making the rest of the night awkward.
"You look beautiful" he said as he pulled the chair back for me.
"Thanks" I mumbled "You clean up nice too"
Dinner wasn't really that bad, he was nice, nice enough to the point he walked me home after the dinner. No matter how many times I declined his offer, he insisted harder so I let him. People gave us looks as I walked down the dorm's hall with James; it didn't bother me though, everyone stared like I'm an alien since my breakup with Nathan.
A familiar face passed by me, one of Nathan's close friends I think, he looked at me confused for a second then gave me one of those boyish nods "Alex"
"Gorge" I gave him a nod back, thankful that I was able to remember his name.
"How come you live in the guy's dorm? I haven't seen one single female since we walked in the building" James asked as he looked around.
I tucked my hair behind my ear as I looked around the hallway "They didn't have place in the female's dorms and they mistook me for a male so I ended up here, got 2 male roommates"
"Mistook you for a male?" he raised an eyebrow "I don't think that's even possible, have you seen yourself? You're prettier than all the girl here and more feminine as well"
I rolled my eyes "Are you expecting me to blush like crazy and go all soft for you now?"
He just chuckled "No, I was just stating the truth"
When we got to my dorm I stopped and faced him "Well this is my stop" I told him.
He nodded and tucked his hands into his pockets "Welllllllllllll, I guess this is where our fun date ends"
I giggle "That was hardly even a date" I tell him.
He rocks back and forth on his heels then toes "Than what was this?"
I lean back against the door "A casual hangout?" I suggested "Or maybe old friends catching up"
He chuckled then bit his lower lip. His action reminded me of when we were dating, he was always able to make me melt down to the bones when his bit his lips. It made me realize that it doesn't anymore.
"Soo when are we going to this again?" he asked.
I smiled "Friday seems okay" I told him.
He gave me a smile, one that indicated that he's not certain about something "Will that one be a date though?" he asked.
I shook my head "Baby steps, James, baby steps"
He chuckled then went for a kiss on my cheek "I'll call you tomorrow" he smiled "Goodnight, Alex"
I gave him a smile before I unlocked the door. The beds were empty, both Noah and Nathan were nowhere to be found, which was expected since it was only 9:30 p.m. It's too early for anyone to be back in the door.
Before the door could close, I rushed back out to find James still walking in the opposite direction.
"James" I called.
He turned with a confused expression.
I know I'll regret this later but fuck it "Do you want to come in and stay a little longer?"
With a smile, he walked back to me "Sure"
I led the way inside and he shut the door behind him, then took the seat on the bed next to me. I was nervous since I didn't know how to react to this kind of situations, it was always Nathan who started these kinds of thing.
"So which one is him?" he asked referring to a picture of Sam, Nathan, Noah and I on the wall "The boyfriend I mean, a girl as beautiful as you must have someone who's head over heels for her"
"The one on the right" I told him "We used to date before things got complicated"
He threw himself back on the bed as if he owned the place "Do you want to talk about it? Or did you already talk about it with Sam?" he asked "I mean, when I saw you in the club last time, I knew something is wrong because you never ever drink unless something is up"
"No, I didn't talk about it with Sam" I said as I laid down next to him "In fact I didn't get the chance to talk about it to anyone really"
He looked over to me "Well I'm all ears and more than happy to listen to you vent" he said putting his hand over mine.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before I started "Everything was perfect, he was perfect. We started dating in freshmen year, spent all our time together since we live together after all, and we were happy. Then it happened, we were on our break in Sam's family beach house and were having fun. One day he saw me cuddling with his brother, who may I add is my gay best friend, and he started yelling and all. I made up with him eventually, but I had a fight with Noah and it tore me apart when he left. I let go of myself; I wasn't smiling, eating, sleeping, and didn't pay attention to my relationship so he slipped away. He was cheating on me with Sam, they're together now, happy, and expecting a baby soon. It wasn't anyone's fault, no one other than me"
"And I thought I had a messed-up life" he sighed.
I chuckled "Guess I won that title"
"You don't have to stay here" I tell him "I mean you can always move out from here and come stay with me, I'm looking for a roommate anyways"
I chuckled "It's okay, James. It's my last semester here and I already paid for the dorms. It'll be fine here on my own, plus I got Noah and Fern"
A moment of silence passed before he spoke up again "Alex?"
"Yea?" I said as I turned my head to look at him.
He got on to his side and leaned over me "Can I kiss you?"
I moved my face away a little "I don't think I'm ready to jump into anything, not after all that I been though lately"
He gives me a smile "Or maybe that is what you need" he said "Someone that can make you forget about all of this"
What he said did make sense, just a little. Maybe he was right, maybe that is what I need in a time like this. But the question is, do I want it with James? The guy that've known since middle school?
I gave him a small smile as I sat up "Maybe you're right" I told him "But not with you, James. No offense"
He sat up next to me and gave me a comforting smile "None taken. I get it, I hurt you badly back then and don't want to go down that road again"
"We can be friends though" I told him "I have room for another friend in my life"
He opened his arms "Hug to close the deal?" he asked.
I giggled and gave him a hug.
Before I could pull away from the hug, Noah walked into the room with no warning. James and I instantly pulled away with red faces. Noah stood there for a couple of seconds, then Sam and Nathan walked into the room.
James cleared his throat and got up "I'll text you later" he said and gave me a kiss on the cheek, he then made his way out.
"James" Sam greeted, it sounded like she wasn't happy to see him, which is probably true.
"Sam" he gave her a nod before he left.
After the door got closed, I threw myself back on the bed.
"What the fuck, Alex" Sam said annoyed as fuck "Why the fuck are you hanging out with that asshole? Don't you remember what he did to you? Hell, you shouldn't even be talking to him in the first place"
"She has a point" Nathan pointed out.
I sat up offended then looked at Nathan "Really, Nathan? You have the guts to backup what she said. What you did to me was way worse that what he did, at least he had the guts to say it in my face and dump me before he went up to Sam and confused to her" I said "If you guys want me to stop talking to him because he dumped me for someone else, I should stop talking to you both because of what you guys did to me"
Noah stepped forward and stepped between all the of us with his back to me "Look she's tired and probably didn't mean any of that" he defended.
I felt like I was a bomb that was about to set off "No, Noah, I meant every word I just said"
"She's just hurt" Noah defended again.
"You know what, Alex. Grow the fuck up, I'm sick and tired of running around and crying like a little baby that you are" Nathan said annoyed "So why don't you do us a favor and go ahead and get drunk like you always so, that way we can resume to getting your ass out of trouble like you always do"
"Babe, stop" Sam said as she slowly pushed him back to stop.
"You know what, fuck you, Nathan" I snapped "I'm sorry that me being sad and trying to deal what the pain you caused me is bothering you. I'm sorry that I'm not enthusiastic for seeing you with my best friend all day being all lovey dovey and talking about the future you and I been planning for more than three years"
"Well you shouldn't have shut me out" he snapped back again as he walked pass Sam and Noah "You shouldn't have shut me out when I needed you the most, when was going through so much and needed someone to turn to. I need you to take care of me and love me, but you were too busy closing yourself off because Noah left for the summer. To think of it, you probably love him more than you loved me and I mean in every possible way. You treated him and talked to him in a way you never talked to me, you even look at him differently than how you did to me; I know you have feelings for him, Alex, just like the uncontrollable feelings I have for Sam. It was your fault that everything happened so don't fucking blame it on me"
Noah's eyes snapped up to me, probably both shocked and confused.
I picked up my bag and left, didn't bother saying bye or explaining anything, I wasn't in no state to defend anyways. I walked out of campus, there was no way in hell that I could stay in there any longer. I walked along the dark streets, not sure where I was going, or were I was planning to go. At that moment, it felt like I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. It sucked.