Sohana
"I can't."
I replied. The moment Alisha told me to confess him. I went numb. I can't. We are not mean to be together. I have accepted it. I don't want to get hurt more. I am already so much broken. He is so broken. I don't want to break our friendship for my stupid feelings. I have accepted my fate, my luck. And now, I don't want my heart to break again and shatter into pieces. I have fixed my heart like we fix a glass.
Indeed, my heart is a glass.
"Why?" Alisha's words brought me out of my trancs and I moved my gaze towards her. Blinking my eyes, I stopped my unshed tears to not shed.
I looked at her and my lips tugged into a sad smile.
"We are not mean to be together." I said and looked directly at her eyes.
"I am not made for him." I said and she shook her head.
"No yaar, Don't you see how much he cared for you? How worried was he for you?" Alisha told me but I shook my head.
"No, Alisha I can't. It's not possible. We are not possible." I said and tears flowed down my cheeks. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up. Rishi was looking at me and smiling.
"You should confess." He said and I looked at Nitya.
"Don't let your feelings stay in your heart for always." She said and smiled.
"But what if he rejects me?" I asked her and she furrowed.
"Oh shut up! Only a heartless person can reject the one who loves him/her so much." She said casually.
"Really Nitya? Are you sure?" Alisha said raising her brows.
I knew what she was referring to.
Nitya's face fell but she masked it with a smile.
"C'mon guys. What happened has already happened. Now you should focus on our Sohana." Nitya said and walked towards me.
"But-
"Par war kuch nahi." Alisha put her finger on my lips. I removed her finger from my lips and looked at her.
"Alisha, what if he won't reciprocate my feelings? Also, he told me that he will never love anyone again." I told her and she hit the side of my head.
"Pagal." She said and giggled.
(Crazy)
"Pata ha tumhe, duniya main aise bahut log hain jo apni dil ki baat khulke nahi keh sakte kyunki woh darte hain kehne se. Aur kuch log chahkar bhi kaise kahe samajh nahi paate. Aur kuch logon ko kehne ka kabhi mauka hi nahi milta. Aur sabse badi samasya to tab hoti hai jab log apne dil ki baat ko sunn hi nahi paate. Aur shayad sun kar bhi aisa vartav karte hain jaise unhone kuch suna hi nahi. Par agar ham unki unkahi baat ko samajhne ki koshish kare toh? Sohana, Insaan ek kitaab jaisa hota hai, samajh jao to uss kitaab ke har panne ko padhne ka mann hoga. Aur agar samajh nahi sake to phir tumhe to pata hai kitaab ki kya halat hogi. Dhul jam jayegi aur ant main fek diya jayega. Ruhaan bhi tumhare liye ek kitaab hai. Samajhne ki kosish karo. Keh do apni dil ki baat usse. Usko jaan ne do tumhare dil main kya hai. Kya pata agar woh bhi tumse pyaar karta hoga? Lekin keh nahi paa raha hoga bilkul tumhare jaisa. Isiliye keh rahi hun tum pehle apne dil ki baat khulke usse bata do. Dhul mat jamne do uss kitaab main. Agar woh tumhe samajh nahi paa raha toh tum usse samajh ne ki koshish karo. Padhne ki koshish karo usko. Uss kitaab ka ek hissa ban jao. Haan?"
(Do you know, there are many people in the world who cannot express their feelings openly because they are scared of saying it. And some people are unable to understand that how to express their feelings. And some people never get a chance to say it. And the biggest problem arises when people are unable to listen to what is in their heart. And maybe they listen to their heart but behaves like they didn't. But what if we try to understand what they want to say? Sohana, a person is like a book, if you understand the book then you will feel like reading all the pages of that book. And if you can't understand then you know what will be the condition of the book. The dust will settle on it and it will eventually be thrown away. Ruhaan is also a book for you. Try to understand him. Tell him about what you feel for him. Let him know what's inside your heart. Who knows if he also loves you? But couldn't say anything exactly like you. That's why I am saying you should first tell him openly what's in your heart. Don't let the dust settle on it. If he doesn't understand you then you try to understand him. Try to read him. Become a part of that book. Yes?)
Her words convinced me to confess my feelings. To tell him that I love him so much. I love him the most. I will tell him that I want to stay with him for the rest of my life. I want to take care of him for always.
Unke andhere raat me, main chaand ki roshni ban na chahti hun.
(In his dark night, I want to be the moonlight)
"Sohana?" Alisha called me and I looked at her.
"What's your decision?" She asked me.
"I will." I told her and smiled.
"Woahhhh!!! Our friend will not be single anymore." Rishi danced and I couldn't help but wave my hand up and down signalling him to low his volume.
"Oye bandar, aspatal hai yeh." Alisha scolded him and hit his arm.
(Hey monkey, this is a hospital)
"Yes cat, I know that....wow what a rhyme!!!" He again shouted and this time I hitted him.
"Mujhe hi sab maarte hain. Mummy ko bolunga main." He said in a childish tone and wiped his fake tears.
(Everyone beats me. I will complain to mom)
"Haan bol liyo, fayda toh kuch hona nahi hai. Aunty ji hame hin support karengi." Alisha teased him and showed her tongue.
(Yes, tell her, there is no benefit. Aunty will support us only.)
Rishi made a sad face and Alisha pinched her cheeks.
I looked at them and smiled. I hope, Rishi will understand her feelings. Alisha seems like an immature, stubborn and careless girl but deep down I know what she is.
A girl who wants to be loved. A girl who wants to be cared by someone. Who wants to love someone. Who wants to be the reason of someone's happiness.
And her love for Rishi is so pure. I know, she loves him so much. She loves him unconditionally but couldn't express her feelings. Oh, that's why god made us best friends.
Kitni ajeeb baat hai yeh, hai na? Pyaar karne se darr nahi lagta, lekin pyaar ko izhar karne se darr lagta hai.
(It is so strange, isn't it? We are not afraid of falling in love but afraid of expressing it)
"Sohana" Alisha's voice broke my chaim of thoughts and I looked at her.
"Let's go for shopping." She said and my brows thinned.
"But why?" I asked her and she placed her hand on her forehead.
"Dumbo, to buy some gifts and a new dress for you. You will confess to him tomorrow only." She said any my eyes widened immediately in shock.
Tomorrow?
Isn't it so quick?
What if he will reject me?
What if he will slap me?
What if he will kick me?
Stop overthinking, Sohana.
"Sohana, kis duniya main kho gayi hai tu?" Alisha hold my wrist and I looked at her.
(Sohana, in which world are you lost?)
"Arey aur kis duniya main khoi hogi. Jarur jiju... oops, I mean Ruhaan ki duniya main khoi hui hogi." Nitya teased.
(Arey, she must be lost in Ruhaan bro's world)
"Acha, bitiya itne khwaab mat dekho. Khone ke liye aur bhi samay hai." Alisha said and I rolled my eyes looking at the drama queens.
(Oh, child don't see so many dreams. Time is left to be lost in his world)
"You drama queens, will you go for shopping or keep talking and wasting your time?" Rishi asked in an annoying tone.
"Yes, yes let's go." Alisha said and they dragged me with them.
I remembered the time when I was dragging Ruhaan with me to go for shopping.
🧿
We went for shopping and bought some gifts and decoration things for the place. Rishi told me to propose him at night in a park. He booked a park for us and told the owner to not let anyone come inside the park tomorrow from 7 to 10.
Alisha bought a pink bodycon dress for me which has slit on it's left side. Nitya helped in finding gifts and the decoration things.
And now, I am getting more afraid. I know if he will reject me then I will be heartbroken but now I am more worried about these three. What will happen to them if Ruhaan will reject me? All there hardwork will go to vain. And Alisha will blame herself for my state if he rejects me.
Ruhaan you better accept me for the sake of my friends.
I threatened him in my mind. But somewhere I also want him to accept me wholeheartedly not by being pressurized.
After shopping we all went to our respective home.
Alisha urged me to call Ruhaan and tell him to come tomorrow to the park at night.
I called him and he picked it up in one ring.
Ruhaan: Hello? What happened? Are you okay?
God! He is seriously so much caring.
Me: Yes, I am okay! What will happen to me?
Ruhaan: Then, what happened?
Me: Ummm, actually
Ruhaan: Yes, actually...
Me: Umm, can you come?
Ruhaan: Excuse me, what? Say it again.
Me: I mean can you come tomorrow?
Ruhaan: Oh, you mean going by coming. I thought something else.
Me: Oh please, shut up!
Ruhaan: Yeah, tell me where will I go tomorrow?
Me: Are you really coming tomorrow?
I asked him as I was so much shocked. He agreed. Did he just agreed to me without showing any tantrums? Without any questions?
Ruhaan: Yes, I am coming. Meri doctor bulayengi aur main nahi jaunga.
(My doctor will call me and I will not go)
His words made me feel timid and I know that my cheeks must be looking red now.
Me: Umm, yeah. Then please come tomorrow to xyz park at night.
Ruhaan: Night?
Me: Umm, yes it's urgent. Come by 7 okay.
I tried to tell him in a serious tone.
Ruhaan: Uh, okay then!
Me: Yeah, bye!
Ruhaan: Bye! Good night!
I cut the call and layed on the bed. Sleep was nowhere in my eyes. I was excited and at the same time nervous for tomorrow. I won't mind if he rejects me.
Yah, I will be heartbroken but I will be more heartbroken if he will break our friendship. At least, we can stay as friends for the rest of our life.
My mind was full of thoughts. The whole night, I kept thinking about him and how to propose him. Even, I tried to practice the propose scene. And with this, I spent yesterday's night.
And now I was standing infront of the mirror.
The day came.
My heart was beating rapidly. It was throbbing and I felt like it will come out anytime soon. Oh God!
He is making me insane for him.
Me and my friends went to the park and started decorating it. We decorated it with a variety of lights. Placed a table on the middle of the park and added some things in it to make it look more beautiful.
And....
Wait! I am not gonna tell everything. Then what will you get to know in Ruhaan's POV, huh?
"Soha" Nitya's voice reached my ears and I turned back to look at her.
"Lets go!
"Where? She held my hand took me with her.
"Sajna hai tujhe sajna ke liye." Nitya sang that song and I understood what she means.
Oh god! My heart is beating so fast.
🧿
Hey all! I wanted to write more. But I won't because if I will write more then the next chapter will seem short to you. And I have already planned the chps. Like what to write in a single chp and then in the next chp. So yeah.
And also, I want to complete this book by June. Because I am in 10th so if I will drag this book more then I won't be able to give you regular updates. So that's why. I want to complete this as soon as possible.
But don't worry, I will continue writing. It's not like I am leaving writing. I have some nice plans hihihi. 🌝
So yeah that's all.
Do tell me how was the chapter!
Love you all sm. ❤️🌺✨
Bye!
Also, don't forget to follow me on Instagram for spoilers.
@daisywrtss