Sohana
Ruhaan started driving the car and I sat beside him. I was so desperate to read that book. But if I will read here then he will start teasing me again.
"Don't worry I will not tease you more. You can read that book." Ruhaan suddenly said and I looked at him staring at me with a smirk on his face.
He turned his face to the road and concentrated on driving. I could not help but blush at his words. How does he know what I want?
I took the book and started reading it. After few minutes, I felt sleepy so I kept the book aside and played a song.
"Please don't." He said while looking at me.
"No! I will play the song. It's my car and it's my choice if the song will play or not." I said and played Lae Dooba.
"Mainu ishq tera lae dooba,
Haan ishq tera lae dooba
Mainu ishq tera lae dooba,
Oo ishq tera lae dooba.
Aisa kyun hota hai tere jaane ke baad
Lagta hai haathon main reh gaye tere haath.
I sang along with the song. In this whole song, I stared at him continuously and sang. I felt like this song is made for me to express my feelings to him.
He turned his gaze and looked at me.
"What? Why are you looking at me?" He asked me but I didn't said anything instead I stared at him deeply and sang
Tu shaamil hai mere
hass ne me, rone me
Hai kya koi kami mere paagal hone main?
Mainu ishq tera lae dooba,
Haan ishq tera lae dooba.
His brows knitted but I just smiled looking at him. I turned and looked outside the window. I heard a slow chuckle of him from behind.
I remembered all our encounters amd got relaxed. You know, it's like a dream.
You saw someone in school, liked him. Girls would threat you to not like him, to not fall for him because they like him. But you couldn't stop yourself from falling more and more for that person. Slowly you would fall in love with him but unfortunately he would leave due to further studies. You would miss him but couldn't do anything. As time would pass, you would fall for him more. You would fall in love with him. Deeply. But there were no sign of him. And after whole 10 years, you would see him in the hospital. You would try to ignore him but destiny would have some other plans. He would come to you, ask for your help, talk to you, spend time with you, go shopping with you, give you company. At last, he would trust you and share all the things with you that he couldn't share with anyone else. And at that time, you would be a part of his life.
But the main thing is- will he ever love me? Will he ever see me as more than just a doctor? Will he be able to give a new and a special place for me in his heart?
I looked at him, the calmness on his face shows that he is changing.
But I know he will never be able to forget his Avni. I also don't want him to forget her. What I want is to make a new place in his heart for me.
The way he was crying that day, proved me that he still loves Avantika so much.
I couldn't stop myself from thinking about those things continuously, so I decided to ask him.
"Ruhaan" With a hesitating voice I called him.
"Ji" He responded.
(Yes)
"I want to ask you something." I said.
"Puchiye." He replied.
(Ask)
"Will you never love anyone again?" I asked him closing my eyes in fear.
"Never."
My heart broke into pieces hearing that one word.
Never.
He is not going to love anyone again. It means he will not love me. He doesn't love me. He sees me as a doctor only.
Tears started to well up in my eyes. I blinked my eyes several times to not let them flow.
It's okay. It's completely fine.
I loved him unconditionally. I didn't love him with the expectation that he would love me too. There is no such thing as you will always get what you want. He still loves Avantika. And it is very difficult to replace the one you love. It is very difficult to forget them.
It's okay.
"Avni was my very first and last." He suddenly said and I looked outside the window breaking into silent cries.
"Oh-okay." With great difficulty, I replied.
We didn't talked with each other after this. A silence was spread after the short conversation.
I was still looking out of the window and cursing my fate.
Why the hell is this happening with me? Why? What did I do to deserve this all? I had happily moved on from him but again I saw him, we met and now my heart again broke.
Why god why? Why are you doing this with me?
Maa, why is this happening with me only? Why the hell Ruhaan Raichand is my childhood crush? It could have been anyone else. Why he came to me only? He could have gone to many other doctors.
My fate is playing with me.
Everyone is playing with me.
The car stopped and I looked at him.
"Take it." He said and give me the car keys.
He got out of the car and my brows knitted in confusion.
I looked outside and saw that we have reached his company. I looked at his disappearing figure and cried silently. Suddenly he turned back and I lowered my face a little.
He waved his hand gesturing a goodbye. I smiled at him and bid him bye.
My lips were trembling badly due to the heavy pain in my chest. I couldn't stop myself and burst into cries.
10 years.
I had never said before but yes in these whole 10 years somewhere in the corner of my heart, I had waited for him.
I knew I loved him but I never knew when I fell in love with him so much.
I would die to see him. The reason of my smile would be his smile. I would cry seeing him upset. My heart and soul would left my seeing him in pain.
I would tease him, beat him and even order him to do things but he never denied.
The change in his behaviour brought a ray of hope to have him in my life.
With a heavy heart, I started the engine of the car and drove towards my home.
All the way to my home my tears were flowing on my cheeks. I was not able to hold my tears back, to hide my pain in myself.
Today, the pain was so much. So much that only one could fix it, could take the pain from my heart and fill it with love and happiness.
My Ruhaan.
He can take away all this pain. But what to do? He is the reason behind this pain.
The one, who I thought can fix me, is breaking me.
Have I done something wrong?
Why god is giving me so much pain? Does he hate me?
He took my Maa and now my Ruhaan.
I was able to ask only one thing.
Why?
What did I do? I have never done something bad to anyone.
Then why?
I reached my home and entered inside forgetting about the things that I brought.
I rang the bell and after sometime Sanaya opened the door.
She looked at my face and her eyes widened.
"Di?" She slowly whispered as her eyes filled in concern for me.
I didn't wanted to face her so I directly went to my room and closed the door.
I was not able to bear the pain and cried my heart out.
My body slipped against the door as I sat on the floor lifting my knees up. Bringing it close to my chest, I rest my head on my knees.
As time passed my cries turned into sobs.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I flinched.
I wiped my tears with the help of the sleeves of my top and cleaned my face with a handkerchief.
I opened the door amd saw that Sanaya was standing there with a worried face.
She looked at me and hugged me tightly.
"What happened di? Why are you looking so sad and pale? Did someone said something to you? Tell me di I will chop that bastard into pieces." Her voice was filled with so much and concern and worry.
My eyes were again filled in tears amd I slowly chuckled.
"Nothing Sanaya, it's just I was so exhausted by my work today." I tried to make her understand.
She looked at me with an angry face and said
"But you said you had took a leave today."
Listening to her, I couldn't stop myself but again break into cries.
"What happened di? Please tell me. I promise that I will not tell anything to Dad. Please say what happened?" She asked while I broke down and sat on my knees.
She kneeled down too and lifted ny chin up, making me look at her.
"Apni behen ko nahi bataogi kya hua?" She told as her eyes were filled in tears too.
"He- he doesn't love me Sanaya." I said while hiccuping.
"He?" She frowned and after sometime she looked at me.
"Is he the same person for whom you have brought the guitar?" She asked me and held my hands.
I nodded, biting my lips to stop myself from crying loudly.
"What did he said to you?" She started rubbing my hands.
"Woh mujhse pyaar nahi karte hain, Sanaya. Woh kabhi kisi aur se pyaar nahi karenge. Main hin khud pagal thi jo 10 saal se unka intezaar kar rahi thi. Main hin pagal thi jo soch rahi thi ki kabhi na kabhi unko mujhse mohabbat ho jayega." I told her and cried loudly.
(He doesn't love me, Sanaya. He will never love anyone again. I was a stupid who was waiting for him from 10 years. I was the one who was thinking that one day he will definitely fall in love with me.)
She hugged me tightly and caressed my head and back.
"Isme roni ki kya baat? Pata hai log kehte hain agar tum kisiko shiddat se chaho na to puri kayanaat bhi tumhe usko paane se rok nahi sakti. Aur aap to itna pyaar karte hain unse. Itna mohabbat karte hain ki unki khushi ke liye aap sab kuch karne ko tayar hain. To phir itni aasani se woh kaise aapko aise haalat main chhod sakte hain? Aapne jo socha tha sahi socha tha woh karenge aapse pyaar. Jarur." She said and kissed my forehead.
(What's the point of crying in this? You know people say that if you love someone deeply then not even the whole universe can stop you from getting that person. And you love him so much. You love him so much that you are ready to do anything for his happiness. Then how can he leave you in such a situation so easily? Whatever you thought was right, he will love you. He will definitely.)
"And if he will not." I said sobbing.
"I said na, he will. He have to. Mark my words or I will leave fashion designing." She said and I widened my eyes.
"Sanaya don't sacrifice your dream for this silly thing." I said and she looked directly at my eyes.
"Who said I am sacrificing my dream? I know that my dream would never be sacrificed because he will fall in love with you Sohana Shekhawat." She confirmed, her eyes were showing a different determination like she is sure.
She made me stand and collected me in a loose hug.
"Now, don't cry and sleep well." She said and caressed my cheeks.
"Sometimes it feels like you are my elder sister not me." I said and smiled.
"Yaa, yaa now sleep." She said and I layed on the bed.
Covering the duvet on my body she kissed my forehead.
"Goodnight Dr." She said and I giggled.
Switching off the lights she closed the door and went out.
Soon I doze off into sleep due to exhaustion.
🧿
How was the chp????
Was it emotional?? 😏
I don't think so, I should've made it more emotional. 😁
Heheee 🌚
Anyways, don't worry muchkins a few more chps then there is so many lovey-dovey scenes. *Khush ho jaoooo*
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